Feb. 24, 2013, 8:58 a.m.
Ready or Not: Chapter 2
E - Words: 2,621 - Last Updated: Feb 24, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 15/15 - Created: Feb 04, 2013 - Updated: Feb 24, 2013 1,666 0 2 0 0
Blaine felt pretty good after he showered and got dressed, but it didn't last long. By the time he went to lunch in the dining hall, he was achy again and starting to feel a little bit dizzy.
"Come sit by me, Blaine," Sebastian called as he approached the table with his tray.
"Okay," Blaine said automatically. He sat in the empty chair beside Sebastian and set his tray on the table. Only when he looked up and saw Trent's stunned face did he realize what he'd done. He never went anywhere near Sebastian voluntarily, and now he'd trapped himself right next to him for the entire meal. He'd done it without thinking, instinctively following the command given to him. He was an idiot. He would have to be more careful than this if he was going to make it through the day.
Sebastian was talking to him, but Blaine tuned out his voice and looked around the table instead. All the Warblers were there. Blaine looked carefully at each of them, moving from face to face. Could one of them be secretly gay? He thought about what he knew of them, the girls they'd dated, the girls they'd rejected, the way they acted at the socials and dances they were always having with the Crawford School girls. Wes had a girlfriend. David had a girlfriend. Trent had hooked up with a girl named Angela when he'd had his first Sickness a few months ago, and anyway he was a sub so that wasn't helpful.
But there were others, boys he knew less well, boys he couldn't remember seeing with a girl before. Maybe one of them could be gay. Blaine sighed. It was so easy for doms to hide their sexuality. They didn't get sick the way subs did. They had urges to dominate, sexually and otherwise, but the urges were easy to control if the dom chose not to engage with the activity. Plenty of doms stayed virgins through high school and even longer, waiting until they felt really ready for sex and for taking care of another person in that way. But subs were trapped, forced by their biology to have sex at sixteen or seventeen years old whether they liked it or not. It was unfair. The whole world was unfair, and Blaine hated it.
If the world were fair, Blaine thought, he would have fallen in love with Daniel, the boy he'd gone to the dance with at his old school. They would have dated, innocently, for two years. And then when they were sixteen, when Blaine's first Sickness hit, he would submit willingly and happily to his sweet, gentle boyfriend, who would have turned out to be a dom. If the world were fair, his first time would be romantic and beautiful. It wouldn't be a choice between sex with someone he hated and sex with a stranger.
Blaine hadn't spoken to Daniel since he transferred schools. He supposed it would be worse than awkward to call him now. And for all Blaine knew, he might be a sub too.
There were other boys at Dalton, of course, not just the Warblers. He glanced around the dining hall. Hundreds of boys, some he knew and some he didn't, all dressed in the same uniform. Some of them must be gay or bi. Statistically, a lot of them must be. But his gaydar had failed him up to now, so why should he expect someone to magically leap out at him today?
Sebastian bumped against his shoulder, probably by accident, and goose bumps shivered their way up Blaine's skin under his blazer and shirt. He jerked his body away quickly. Everyone was standing up, getting ready to leave. Blaine looked down at his plate. He'd barely touched his sandwich. He wasn't really hungry anyway. He slipped his apple into his pocket to eat on the bus and grabbed a can of soda before following the rest of the Warblers out the door, his legs shaking.
Trent guided him to a window seat on the bus and quickly sat down next to him, blocking him in. He leaned close and hissed in a whisper. "Are you out of your mind, Blaine? What do you think you're doing? Why haven't you taken care of this yet?"
"I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about," Blaine said. He leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes. Two more hours. He could do this. Just two more hours.
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Kurt pulled focus, he couldn't help it. That was just the way he was. He owned the stage, even from where Mr. Schue had stuck him in the back row. He felt the eyes on him. The cheers of the audience ran through his blood. He owned this. New Directions was the first group to perform, and they already had the crowd on their feet.
After the dance number he stood backstage, breathing heavily, to watch Rachel sing the solo he should have had. He swallowed his anger and frustration, it was useless. He hated that Mr. Schue had pulled this thing, and hated that he was no longer the one in control of the performance. But Kurt didn't want to be that guy who lost control of himself just because he didn't have control of everyone else.
Rachel had a gorgeous voice, he wouldn't deny that. Acknowledging her talent didn't detract from his own in the slightest. It wasn't her fault he was being treated badly. She was his friend. Kurt's smile when she nailed the high note was genuine and sincere.
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There were too many people. Their voices echoed in Blaine's head. They were all around him, smothering him with their presence, dizzying him with their voices. His mind turned everything into a command. "Is there another bottle of water?" someone asked, and Blaine hoped fervently that there was. Another bottle of water for Nick was the most important thing in the world, and Blaine would do anything to find it for him. If he could be the one to fetch it, to hand it to Nick and see the appreciative smile on his face, that would be the most incredible feeling he could imagine. Blaine shook his head quickly, trying to clear the fog that surrounded him. Nick was not even a dom. This was insane.
Blaine sat in the darkened auditorium, watching a group called New Directions (why did it have to sound so much like 'Nude Erections'?) dance and writhe on the stage. He felt his head swimming and his body weak. They were all so forceful up there. They had amazing stage presence, all of them. Could the entire group be doms? It felt like they were. He couldn't tell them apart, the way they were twirling around and darting back and forth, they all bled into one another.
Most of them filed off the stage, and a short, dark-haired girl stepped forward to the microphone for a solo. Her voice was beautiful. Blaine wanted nothing more than to drop to his knees in front of her. And she was a girl. Oh god, he was so far gone.
For the first time, Blaine was slammed with the thought that perhaps he wouldn't make it through the Warblers' performance.
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The members of New Directions had spent a lot of time jumping up and down and hugging each other backstage after their triumphant performance, so by the time they filed into the rows reserved for them in the auditorium, the Warblers were already starting their first number. Kurt took a seat as the opening notes of Raise Your Glass played.
Kurt turned his eyes to the stage. The Warblers' costumes were nothing more than their private school uniforms, and the choreography was basically just walking back and forth across the stage, but their lead singer had an undeniable charisma about him. He was giving his all to the song, and his voice was fantastic.
After about a minute, though, the boy's movements became more frenetic. It almost matched the tone of the song, but not quite. Kurt leaned forward, watching intently. Something was wrong. The boy started to tremble, it was visible even halfway back in the auditorium where they were seated. He was out of step with the choreography, clearly using everything within him to push through it. The last notes sounded and Kurt watched the boy step his feet together into the final pose. And then he dropped to his knees and fell over sideways.
The crowd gasped all at once, as if they were a single entity. Kurt was on his feet before he realized it, and Rachel beside him, and Santana, and close to half the crowd. On stage, the Warblers crowded around their fallen friend. One of them shouted, "Step back, give him space," just as a stagehand had the presence of mind to drop the curtain.
"There will be a short intermission," the announcer said over the speaker system.
Kurt knew that his instinct to help and protect this boy that he'd never met was entirely inappropriate right now. The boy's friends were there. Adults were in charge, presumably. There was nothing he could do anyway. So he pushed the instinct down and followed Mr. Schue out of the auditorium and through the unfamiliar school halls, back into the classroom that had been designated for their use.
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The world was blurry, and then it was sideways, and then it was black, and when Blaine opened his eyes again the faces of all his friends were hovering above him. They were talking too loudly and it was confusing and he couldn't make sentences out of any of it, and oh god, he must have collapsed on stage. This was the worst possible outcome. How could he have been so incredibly stupid? Why hadn't he told someone, found a dom, gone to Sebastian, anything would have been better than collapsing on stage in front of his friends and a thousand strangers. And god, he was so hard, he might die if he didn't come soon. Had they all noticed? Of course they must have, they weren't idiots, they must realize what was happening to him. Maybe dying would not be so bad, if it meant the end of this horrible, horrible embarrassment.
Wes scooped Blaine up in his arms and carried him offstage, and Blaine sobbed out loud at the comfort of it. Yes, he was in the arms of a dom, strong and confident, carrying him to some place, it didn't matter, everything was taken care of, everything was going to be okay, thank god Wes was here. Blaine let his head loll onto his friend's shoulder. He breathed in the scent of the older boy's sweat and the sharpness of it cleared his mind for a moment. He realized that he was probably going to submit to any dom that came along right now without even being able to stop himself, and all he could think was not Sebastian, please, not Sebastian. He didn't even remember why he didn't want Sebastian, only that he didn't, and that if Sebastian got close to him, he would not be able to say no.
Wes set him down on a couch, lying on his back. It was a room they hadn't been in before. Blaine looked around. A few couches and comfortable chairs. A wooden table and more chairs around it. A small kitchenette in one corner. No windows. A teachers' lounge, probably. All of the Warblers were there, hanging back around the edges of the room. Sebastian was a step in front of the others, waiting, expectant. Wes arranged some pillows behind Blaine, to prop him up a little bit.
Wes. Thank you, you're so good to me, thank you, Sir. Had he said that out loud?
Wes petted his hair and stepped back, shaking his head. "Not me, Blaine. But don't worry. We'll find someone."
Blaine wanted to die. But Wes was so strong, so in control. Not just now, but at every Warblers rehearsal. With his ... gavel. Great, now Blaine was having erotic thoughts about Wes's gavel.
"I'm so sorry about the performance, Wes," Blaine whispered. Oh god, why couldn't he shut up? "I'm so sorry I let you down."
Wes put a hand on Blaine's cheek and looked straight into his eyes. "It's all right, Blaine. I know how hard you tried for me. For all of us. You did very, very well, Blaine."
Blaine knew this was all an act, that Wes was dialing up the dominance to calm him, that he hadn't done well at all. But it still worked. Wes was a fantastic dom and he knew exactly what to say. "Thank you, sir," Blaine gasped. Oh god, Blaine was never, ever going to live this down. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sebastian smirking.
Trent was there all of a sudden, with a juice box, holding the straw to Blaine's mouth, pleading with him to drink. He took a sip, and it helped a little bit. He still felt dizzy. He still didn't think he could sit up.
"How long has it been, Blaine?" Trent asked, his face creased with worry.
"Days. Um. Three?"
"Some of the Crawford girls are here to see the performance," Trent said. "One of them could help you, I'm sure ... I could call Angela, she was really sweet to me. Or the one you were talking to at the last dance, with her hair in those braids, what was her name? Courtney? I could see if she's here, if she's willing ..."
"No," Blaine whispered. He squeezed his eyes shut.
"Why not, Blaine?" Wes asked. "That's exactly why we have all those mixers with Crawford. Why did you wait so long? Why didn't you just ask a girl to dom you?"
A dom had asked him a question, and the answer flowed out of Blaine as if he had never meant to keep it secret at all. "Because I'm gay."
He opened his eyes. He had to see their reaction. He hoped it wasn't too awful.
It wasn't awful at all. Wes and Trent, the two who were right there next to them, seemed to be having an "aha" moment. Sebastian took a single step forward, a triumphant look on his face. Blaine gasped at knowing the potential for relief was so close. Sebastian was right there, he could just ... it would all be over ... it would all be taken care of ...
Trent said it so gently, so tenderly, that Blaine wanted to weep. "Blaine, Sebastian is here. Do you want ...?"
It took all his willpower. Every last drop. Blaine shook his head. "No. No. Red. No." He collapsed into the pillows. He hadn't meant to, hadn't done it on purpose, but he'd used one of the universal safe words. Good to know that sex ed class had not been entirely useless, at least.
Sebastian kicked a chair over and stormed out of the room.
Everyone was silent for a moment, stunned. Then they all began talking at once.
"Jonathan ... or Travis." "Scott Bradley." "Oh, Scott? Really? I didn't know." "My brother, but he's in college in Boston, he was home for Thanksgiving, if I'd only realized..." "I have a cousin, he lives in Indianapolis ..."
Wes's voice cut through the chatter. "Dalton is a two hour drive away. If he doesn't get dommed soon, he's going to go unconscious, and then we're going to have to take him to the hospital. He needs someone here."
Trent spoke up hesitantly. "I have an idea."
Comments
I'm in suspense! Please update soon!
omg. this was really great! awesome writing. :) I really like how submissive Blaine is:D Good job:)