Married
KurtCountertenor
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Married: Chapter 9


T - Words: 926 - Last Updated: Sep 02, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 22/22 - Created: Jun 27, 2013 - Updated: Sep 02, 2013
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Kurt woke up to an inbox full of e-mails.

From Finn Hudson: That's a joke, right? I'm pretty sure it's a joke. I'm not saying anything to Mom and Burt until I hear back from you. You would have told us first if it were for real, right?

Kurt wrinkled his forehead trying to figure out what Finn was talking about. He closed the e-mail and opened up the next one.

From Will Schuester, CC Blaine Anderson: You shouldn't joke about this kind of thing. I thought you two would know better. So irresponsible.

From Isabelle Wright: Nice try, but you still have to come in to work today. Happy to consult for the real one, though, one day!

From Brittany S. Pierce: Yay! Which one of you wore the dress?

"What the fuck is going on?" Kurt said out loud. There were dozens of Facebook notifications in his inbox, too, so he skipped the other e-mails for the time being and just opened Facebook directly.

Blaine Anderson changed his relationship status to Married to Kurt Hummel.

Kurt covered his face with his hands in horror. When he could finally bring himself to look again, he started reading the comments.

Cooper Anderson commented: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~Best!!! Haha, good one!

Sam Evans commented: So happy you two are back together! LOL on the married part!

Mike Chang commented: You had me there for a minute!

Rachel Berry commented: This is not true. I was there the whole week, and I definitely would have noticed if they'd gotten married. Just in case anyone was confused, it's obviously a joke.

Marley Rose commented: :D Someday!

Unique Adams commented: Oh yes, baby! Pride 4eva!

Sebastian Smythe commented: *snort*

Kurt blinked at the screen. Blaine had shouted their secret to the world, but nobody actually believed it. He picked up his phone and called Blaine.

"Mrrghpffthurgmmzv"

"Blaine, what is going on?" Kurt demanded.

"Oh my god, why are you shouting? I feel like I'm going to die. Am I dead? I feel dead."

"You are about to be dead. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Blaine said, groaning. "Why is there light? Could someone please put out the sun?"

"Okay, you are obviously hung over, which means you were drunk out of your mind last night when you did this, and while that is an explanation, it does not make it any better and I am still really mad."

"Kurt? I have no idea what you think I did."

"You posted on Facebook that we're married."

"I did WHAT???" Kurt heard a thump. "Ow, my head..."

"You completely deserved that," Kurt said angrily.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," Blaine said. "I honestly have no memory of that. I'll ... um ... I'll go tell everyone we're not? Or is it too late now that everyone knows? What do you want me to do?"

"Well, here's the thing," Kurt said, his voice turning from anger to amusement. "It looks like nobody believes it."

"What?"

"They think it's a joke."

"Wait ... what?"

"All the comments are like, 'Nice try, haha, I'm sure you two will actually get married someday.' Nobody thinks it's for real."

"That's ... not surprising at all, now that I think about it," Blaine said.

"I got a couple of concerned questions from Finn and Mr. Schue, but they both are pretty sure it's a joke. I haven't written back yet. Brittany might think it's real, but she's the only one."

"Wow ... okay, well, that's lucky."

"I'm still really mad at you," Kurt said. "That was a stupid thing to do, I don't care how drunk you were. Wait, I do care. You shouldn't get that drunk, it's dumb and stupid and not good and it makes you do stupid things like kissing Rachel. Please tell me you didn't kiss Rachel again."

"She wasn't even there. She's in New York. With you." Blaine said.

"Right. Good."

There was silence for a minute.

"Okay, here's the plan," Kurt said. "We'll tell everyone it was a joke. We'll change the status to 'in a relationship.'� We'll say that we were just really excited about the gay marriage decisions and changing the Facebook status seemed funny at the time. Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I'm really sorry, Kurt. And I won't do it again."

"You'd damn well better not," Kurt said. "I love you," he added after a beat.

"I love you too. Oh god, I feel like crap."

"I have to get to work. Feel better soon, okay?"

"Okay. See you."

Kurt's phone rang again right after he hung up. He looked at the display. It was his father. "Hello?" he answered tentatively.

"Morning, Kurt," Burt said. "What's this I hear about you changing your Facebook status to married? Jimmy down at the garage said he saw it on Facebook and it's a joke thing? I'm confused. You didn't secretly get married or anything, did you?"

"Come on, Dad. You don't really think I would have eloped and missed out on having the grand wedding of my dreams, do you?" It wasn't technically a lie, Kurt thought.

"Yeah, I didn't think so. Just wanted to make sure."

"Trust me, I'll let you know when the wedding is," Kurt said.

"Okay. Kids these days, man, I'll never understand."

"Have a great day, Dad."

"You too."

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath in and out. Then he grabbed his towel and headed to the bathroom to shower. Like Isabelle said, he was expected at work.


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