Chapter 22

Kurt stepped out of the lunch line, salad in hand, and took no time in deciding who he wanted to eat with. He headed straight for Mercedes and Rachel, wanting to see them after sitting with the Cheerios for almost all of last week.

"Hello, ladies."

Kurt gave the pair of them a quick smile as he slid into the open space next to Mercedes.

"Hey, Kurt."

Rachel didn't even bother with a hello.

"Kurt, you are not going to believe this!"

Mercedes smiled at Rachel's enthusiasm and Kurt just raised his eyebrow, looking very skeptical as he took a quick drink of water.

"What am I not going to believe?"

Rachel smiled brightly and leaned forwards, lowering her voice as if her big news was some huge secret.

"In three months, Wicked is going to be at the Ohio Theatre!"

Kurt was just about to put dressing on his salad when he froze and looked up at Rachel.

"What? Are you serious!? The tour wasn't even supposed to drive through Ohio, let alone perform here!"

Rachel seemed almost offended that Kurt was questioning her validity.

"Of course I'm serious, Kurt! I wouldn't joke about something like this!"

Kurt shook his head.

"No, no of course not. I just- I can't believe it! Wait, but what if the tickets are sold out?"

"Please? Do you actually think the people in Ohio would appreciate the fine arts, let alone pay to go see them? Anyways, I already bought us tickets. You can thank me later."

Kurt beamed at her, about to ask how much the tickets cost when he noticed Blaine walk into the lunch room. He smiled at Kurt, and Kurt couldn't help but smile back, though he was a bit surprised that Blaine was even acknowledging him. He didn't care the reason, he was just happy that Blaine wasn't ignoring him.

His thoughts drifted back to their failed date, how he shouldn't have been disappointed, how he should have expected something like that to happen. Blaine was still so skittish when it came to his sexuality being out in the open, it only made sense that he wanted to leave so quickly. Kurt was thinking about how handsome Blaine had looked all dressed up when Rachel's voice invaded his thoughts.

"Ugh, figures. I guess you were right all along, Kurt."

Kurt turned to her, a bit confused, but still eager to hear why exactly he was right.

"I just don't understand why it's always Santana. I mean first she sleeps with Finn,"

Kurt laughed as soon as he heard Finn's name, taking a huge bite of salad as she continued to talk.

"… and now her and Blaine are going out,"

Kurt's eyes nearly popped out of his skull and he began to choke on his salad, Rachel still talking as if nothing was going on.

"and you know, I really thought him and I made a connection. Like, all I needed was one duet with him and we'd be set-"

Mercedes was the first to notice that Kurt's face was turning red and she began to pound his back.

"Oh my god! Kurt! Breathe!"

She finally smacked him hard enough on the back, and lettuce flew out of his mouth. Kurt wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand before turning to Rachel and sputtering out an angry,

"What?!"

Rachel finally seemed to become worried about Kurt's near-death experience.

"Kurt are you oka-"

He brushed her comment away with the flick of a hand.

"I'm fine! What was that about Santana?!"

Rachel was still a bit confused and very concerned as she explained what had happened.

"Um, her and Blaine went out on a date this Saturday. I was pretty sure the entire city knew by the way she's flaunting it."

Kurt whipped his head over to look at Blaine and Santana just in time to see her run a hand through his curls. Her legs were crossed and stretched out in his lap, her other hand intertwined with his, and the very sight of it made Kurt cringe. He sharply looked away, resisting the urge to just start screaming.

Mercedes looked at him, alarmed by his sudden behavior.

"Are you sure you're okay Kurt?"

Kurt took a deep breath, trying to keep himself in check.

"Yeah I'm fine. I have to go finish some homework."

Kurt stood up, almost mechanically, chucking what was left of his salad into the garbage. He looked back to take one last glance at Blaine. The jock's bright smile seemed to freeze over under Kurt's icy cold glare. A look of utter confusion took its place and all Kurt could do what shake his head before storming out, the door slamming loudly behind him.

Kurt quickly shoved the last of his things into his bag and slammed the locker shut, wanting nothing more than to just get home. The loud bang caused Blaine, who had been standing behind the open locker door, to visibly flinch and jump back a little.

"Uh, hey. Are you okay? You seemed a little weird at lunch."

Blaine smiled, which just enraged Kurt even more and he rolled his eyes before turning and walking away.

"Hey. Kurt? Kurt, hold on!"

Blaine ran after him, only catching up with him after he had already gotten outside and began to head for his car.

"Kurt-"

Blaine reached out for Kurt's arm to hold him back, only to have his hand smacked away. Kurt whipped around, finally addressing him.

"Stop it!"

He looked hurt, his eyes going wide as he pulled his hand away from the cheerleader.

"Kurt? W-what's wrong? Is this,"

Blaine paused, glancing around to make sure that they were alone even though they were clearly the only people in the empty parking lot.

"Is this about our date? Because I said I was sorry. I know I shouldn't have acted that way and-"

Kurt cut him off, anger overcoming his usual patience.

"It's not our stupid date, Blaine! This is about the one you had with Santana!"

Blaine stood there in shock, the realization of what he had done suddenly donning on him.

"Kurt…I-"

Kurt shook his head, not willing to hear any of his excuses.

"You know I've put up with so much for you?! I've put up with you out right ignoring me, blowing me off! But this?! This is taking it too far!"

Blaine took a step back, stuttering out his defense.

"Kurt…She…She's a girl. I-I didn't realize you'd be so upset. You-you were laughing about this stuff before and-"

Kurt took a step forward, a fury burning in his eyes that shook Blaine to the core. He had never seen him so angry before, not at him.

"You didn't realize I'd be upset?! You didn't realize that maybe, just maybe, I don't like having to share you with the entire female student body?! You're my boyfriend, Blaine! And Santana!? Of all people, of all the deranged hormonal girls flocking around you like sheep, it had to be her?!"

Thunder from the clouds above threatened rain as Blaine tried to figure out what to do.

"Kurt… why didn't you ever talk to me about this?"

He just rolled his eyes and began to walk away. Blaine reached out for him again.

"Kurt, I'm sor-"

He shook his arm violently when he felt Blaine's hand.

"Don't touch me!"

Tears began to swell in Blaine's eyes, his voice almost sounding like a strangled plea.

"Kurt…"

"No. No, I'm done talking about this today."

He didn't even look back when he got into his car and drove away, leaving Blaine in the middle of the parking lot, burying his face in his hands as rain began to fall.

Blaine: Kurt please pick up your phone.

Please?

I just need to talk to you.

Kurt?

Kurt: Leave me alone.

Blaine: Kurt just pick up.

Please?

Kurt entered his house, a little wet from the rain outside, and closed the front door quietly. The whole house was empty and all he could hear was rain coming down on the roof and thunder from a far away lightening strike. He let his bag fall from his grasp onto the floor and trudged over into the kitchen, feeling simply exhausted by this whole ordeal.

His motions became automatic, as if he was on autopilot as he began to make a pot of coffee. He turned on the old coffee maker, adding grounds and water as he rubbed at his eyes. A loud beep signaled that the coffee was done and he poured himself a cup. Kurt added the usual sugar and creamer, sitting down at the breakfast table with a thump. He stared down at his coffee for a second and then went to take a drink.

The cup made it halfway to his mouth before he started to bawl. He had felt the tears coming, his hand shaking as it had held his cup, and a sharp pressure had been building behind his eyes. He had been holding everything in, bottling it up, keeping it hidden and staying strong, but today was a breaking point for him. He felt nauseous as tears, hot and salty, fell from his cheeks and he shoved the coffee away.

He put his head down on the table in the cradle of his own arms, loud, agonizing sobs wracking his body as frustrated tears poured out. Kurt didn't even try to calm himself, didn't care when the tears began to wet his sleeves. He just stayed there, waiting for the tears to stop.

And with time they did. Half an hour passed and as his coffee grew cold, his sobs slowed and he eventually regained control of himself.

Kurt lifted his head up, wiping at his cheeks and glaring at his coffee. He took a small sip.

Cold.

With a grimace he got up and poured the drink down the drain. He set his cup next to the sink and placed his hands on the counter when he heard someone knocking rapidly at the front door.

Finn.

He assumed it was his brother; ever the forgetful one, he had probably locked himself out once again. Kurt made his way over to the door, opening it as he spoke.

"Finn how many times are you going to forget-"

Even in the state that Kurt was in, the sight of Blaine still shocked him. He looked positively horrible, soaked to the bone from the rain and shaking slightly. Blaine was staring at Kurt with this pitiful look in his eyes and it made it seem like he could burst into tears at any moment. His shoes were dirtied as if he had run the whole way there and his red, puffy eyes told Kurt everything he needed to know. As if to confirm Kurt's thoughts, Blaine then sniffled and brought up the back of a hand to wipe at his nose like a five year old.

They just looked at each other, the tension in the air almost palpable. Water dripped from Blaine's curls as held out a bouquet of once-robust, yellow and red roses.

"I brought you flowers."

Kurt looked down at the wilted flowers and then back up to Blaine's face and his pleading eyes.

"Please go home, Blaine. I don't want to do this right now."

Kurt reached for the door handle when Blaine spoke.

"I'm not leaving until I talk to you."

Kurt began to close the door but Blaine held it from shutting.

"Kurt, you…you're crying… Please."

Kurt looked down at the floor for a long second, his eyes wetting a bit before taking a step back and opening the door for Blaine.

They were silent when Kurt led him into the kitchen.

"Sit down, I'll get you a blanket and some coffee."

Blaine slumped down into one of the chairs, bouquet still clutched in his fingers and head hung low. Kurt went to grab a towel and a blanket, hating himself more and more for letting Blaine come in. He reentered the kitchen, set the blanket on the table and then went to stand behind Blaine, tilting the jock's head back as he began to towel him off, first gently drying his hair before moving down to his arms.

Kurt placed the towel on the table then wrapped the blanket around Blaine, tucking it around his shoulders.

"Take off your shoes so your feet can warm up."

Blaine nodded before slipping off his soggy sneakers and socks.

Kurt grabbed a vase out of the cabinet and placed the wilted flowers in it, then got out mugs and poured two fresh cups of coffee.

Kurt handed Blaine a mug of coffee and then sat, silent as he stared at Blaine curiously, waiting for him to speak. Blaine just stared down at the drink, finger tracing the rim as he explained himself.

"Kurt, I…I don't want to fight with you. I hate fighting with you. I'm not here to make excuses. You should be upset. I…I've been awful to you. I didn't just put our relationship on the line; I put our friendship at risk too."

He looked up, his eyes already wet.

"You are my best friend, Kurt. And I just keep messing everything up…That date with Santana…It was awful. The entire time all I wanted to do was be with you…"

His voice quieted to just above a whisper, looking straight at Kurt as he spoke.

"…that's all I ever want to do."

Blaine angrily wiped at his eyes.

"And I felt so…terrible about our date and I shouldn't have even said yes to her I…I said no, at first…but…I panicked. And that's not an excuse! I…I didn't mean that as an excuse. I…I just took her home afterwards and gave her a peck and it was gross and disgusting and…and all I wanted was for it to be you instead."

Blaine was turning into a scared, rambling mess, his whole body nearly shaking as he spoke.

"And I am so sorry, Kurt. I'm so sorry for everything I put you through and for cheating with all those girls and-"

Up until now Kurt had been silent, watching as Blaine fell apart in front of him, but he had to stop him there.

"Cheating? Blaine. You didn't cheat on me."

Blaine looked up, brow scrunched in confusion and worry.

"But, Santana…and all those other girls. The flirting and-"

Kurt held up his hand slightly.

"Having a beard hardly constitutes as cheating, Blaine. I know that you're just doing all this because you're scared, I understand that. I'm just so…exhausted. I'm tired of trying to make this work and feeling like the only one of us who is."

Blaine looked heartbroken.

"Kurt-"

He kept talking, trying to say everything without breaking down as well.

"I know you want to be with me, Blaine. But you don't know how to handle your life right now. You don't know how to handle the rumors or Karofsky or your friends or your fluctuating popularity and I'm tired of coming second to all of that."

Blaine shook his head, trying to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

"I don't want you to. I want you to come first. I…I want us to be together so bad but…you deserve someone who isn't just proud of you but can be proud of you. And I…I can't come out...I've thought about it, and just thinking about it is…"

He paused and took a deep breath, his eyes shutting for a second.

"…terrifying. I feel like I need to do all these things to stop that from happening, to protect myself. But I just feel like every step I take to protect myself is a step away from you. And I…I feel like I need to be with you and the thought of losing you kills me because…because…"

Blaine let his face fall into his hands with a groan.

Because I feel like I might love you…

He didn't dare say it out loud, not until it was something he was sure of. But he couldn't fight the feeling that had been growing more and more each day since he met Kurt Hummel.

Kurt stayed silent, and he could just make out what Blaine said when he mumbled into his hands.

"You and I both know this is more than some forgotten high-school romance."

He stood up and looked at Kurt, an odd sadness in his eyes that Kurt didn't quite understand.

"I…I'll go know. I'm so sorry, Kurt. For everything. I'll, uh, I'll see you around.-"

In an almost panicked reaction, Kurt grabbed his hand.

"Don't…"

He took a deep breath.

"Don't go, Blaine."

Blaine stood there, not knowing what he was supposed to do. Kurt very gently tugged on his hand.

"Please?"

Blaine sat back down, silent as Kurt spoke.

"If…if we're going to stay together, there needs to be changes."

Blaine nodded, eager to do whatever he had to fix this.

"First of all, we're friends Blaine. We have been since before we even got together. There is no reason for you to ignore me."

Blaine nodded again, agreeing with Kurt completely.

"You're absolutely right."

Kurt smiled a bit at how excited Blaine was getting.

"Second, the flirting needs to stop. I know the girls won't stop, but you need to. And this whole thing with Santana-"

Blaine jumped in, saying exactly what Kurt was about to.

"I'll end it! Immediately."

Kurt held onto Blaine's hand tighter.

"And lastly, I need you to promise me that I'm not wasting my time with you, Blaine. I know you're not ready to come out yet, but things cannot be like this forever."

Blaine nodded, slower this time, but with confidence.

"I-I promise."

Kurt stood at the same time Blaine did and pulled him in for a hug. Blaine moved back and kissed him, a dopey little smile on his face.

"I…I want to do something nice for you. C-can I make you dinner? O-or something?"

Kurt gave an uneasy smile.

"No, you don't have to do that."

Blaine tilted his head to the side.

"What? Didn't you like the popcorn I made?"

Kurt opened and closed his mouth a few times before deciding what to say.

"Well, it was…um…it was…"

Blaine raised his eyebrow, a smirk on his face.

"It was…really burnt."

Blaine began laughing.

"It's fine, Kurt, I know I'm not the best cook."

Kurt smiled easier now, and then glanced down at Blaine's still-wet clothing.

"Do you want a change of clothes?"

Blaine looked down at himself

"Oh, sure, thanks."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and brought him up to his room.

"You wait here, I'll go grab you some of Finn's old clothing, you probably don't want to be sitting around the house wearing my dress shirts and bowties."

After of few minutes of digging around through the biohazard that was Finn's room, Kurt came back with an old tee shirt and some jeans which were probably around six inches too long. He set the clothes down on the bed and Blaine stood to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks."

Kurt had figured Blaine would take the clothes and go change in the bathroom, so when Blaine took off his shirt without any warning, Kurt was more than a bit embarrassed. He turned his face away immediately, cheeks flushing a furious shade of red.

Um…uh…okay…just breathe…ohgod….he's really…uh…breathe! Breathe Kurt!

Blaine noticed his blush and, thinking Kurt was just being bashful, walked over and put his hands on Kurt's hips just as he placed a kiss on the exposed skin of his neck.

Breathe, breathe, breathe!

Kurt finally took his own advice, taking in a deep breath before finally looking Blaine in the eyes. A warmth filled his body from head to toe as Blaine's passion filled gaze met with him, their eyes locked for a second and it was as if something had clicked.

Blaine's lips crashed down on Kurt's, kissing him long and hard as he pressed Kurt's body up against the wall and tightened his grip on his hips. Kurt wasn't thinking anymore, just feeling as he brought his hands up to Blaine's bare chest, running his fingers over his muscles as if etching them into his memory. He moved his arms to wrap around Blaine's back, moaning lightly and clawing at the skin there when Blaine began to suck on his bottom lip.

When Blaine brought his hands up to Kurt's hair, pulling his head back gently to expose his neck, he felt the blood rushing out of his head. Blaine began to suck another bruise just below his collar bone and his eyes glazed over, raw emotion filling his body as he pushed up against Kurt's.

Blaine pulled back a little bit. His hands left Kurt's hips and he began to unbutton his own pants, causing Kurt practically to shove him back in panic and the mood of the room quickly died.

"Whoa! Okay! So, um...I'm gonna…um step outside so you can uh…finish changing."

Blaine's hair was messy and his cheeks were flushed as smiled with bruised lips and raised an eyebrow.

"Kurt, we're both guys. We know what each other looks like."

Kurt refused to look him in the eye, his arms clamped firmly down at his sides. Blaine reached a hand out to touch him and his eyes widened, not liking the contact.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Kurt forced himself to look Blaine in the eye, even if his cheeks were still burning with embarrassment.

"N-nothing I just…I…granted when we started dating my dad and I had 'the talk' but I just…I hated every minute of it and I'm not really comfortable and I'm not ready for that kind of stuff and…and…"

Blaine stopped him before he turned into a babbling mess.

"Kurt. It's okay. I…um…I don't think I'm ready for anything like that either. I, uh, I guess I wasn't really thinking in the right…uh…place."

Blaine gave him a quick, light kiss on the cheek before grabbing the clothes and leaving. Kurt sat down on the edge of the bed, hands folded in his lap as he waited for Blaine to finish changing.

Blaine walked back in; jeans rolled up so he could actually walk in them, and noticed how uncomfortable Kurt looked.

"Hey, you okay?"

Kurt shrugged, his eyes flicking up to meet Blaine's.

"Yeah I…I don't know. I still feel a little weird."

Blaine was silent for a second, thinking, but then he got a mischievous look on his face and made a running leap for the bed.

"Blaine! What are you-"

He landed in just the perfect position, on his side with a hand propping up his head as if he was posing for some swimsuit magazine and he gave Kurt a cheeky grin.

"Do you wanna just cuddle?"

Kurt couldn't help but burst out into laughter.

"You're such a goof!"

But then his laughter turned into a smile.

"But, yes, I'd love that."

He crawled over to Blaine, settling himself down so he was facing him.

"I love it when you smile."

Kurt smiled again when he heard that and Blaine broke out into a grin.

"See? Right there, it's beautiful."

Kurt blushed as he curled up into Blaine, the shorter boy's arms wrapping around him and pulling him close. They laid like that for a while, just looking at each other, happy and warm and safe in each other's arms. Their breathing began to sync up, the rhythmic rise and fall of Blaine's chest so close to his and the comfort of his arms began to lull Kurt to sleep. He could fight it no longer and his eyes shut, the calm of sleep finally pulling him under.

Early morning light peaked through Kurt's curtains, his open window letting in a warm summer breeze that made the fabric gently sway back and forth. He heard a voice call to him, soft and airy as it gently woke him from his slumber.

"Sweet pea?"

His little eyes blinked open and he yawned, big and sleepy as he rubbed at his eyes.

"Mama?"

He could smell blueberry pancakes; the scent of Sunday morning wafting through the house as she gently opened his door.

"Mama!"

Kurt was still half asleep as a tired smile lit up his face and he reached out his arms for her, little fists opening and closing as he waited to be picked up. She walked over, still dressed in her pajamas as she brought him up into her embrace.

His arms immediately wrapped around her neck and he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, breathing in the familiar scent of her perfume and relaxing in the comfort of her arms. He always held on so tightly, with the intention of never letting go. She smiled warmly down at him, rubbing his back and smoothing out his hair as she enjoyed his affections.

Her breath tickled his ear as she whispered down to him.

"Good morning, Sweet Pea."

He sighed happily.

"Good mornin', mama."

Soft piano notes drifted through the house and Kurt's eyes blinked open as he woke from his dream. Kurt reached out his arms across empty sheets in search of someone to hold onto.

"Blaine?"

His vision cleared and he realized he was alone in his bed, but he didn't remember someone pulling a blanket over him. The piano notes swelled and quieted, lightly flowing through a familiar melody.

Kurt pulled the sheets off of himself and walked downstairs to the piano that hadn't been played in years. He was about to walk inside of the old music room when he saw Blaine at the piano.

He was completely engulfed in the music as his fingers lightly danced along the keys. His eyes were closed as he played, not needing to even glance at the piano. Blaine was completely at peace and calm, so tranquil that it seemed almost unreal. The rain outside had stopped and now the moon was throwing light over Blaine, casting a glow around him and highlighting every feature.

Kurt watched him, a sense of longing coming over him. Longing for what, he didn't know. But as he watched Blaine, it was almost as if he was being reminded why he fell for him in the first place, as if he was falling all over again.

The last few notes drifted away and Blaine placed his hands in his lap.

"That was beautiful."

Kurt spoke softly, but in the newfound silence it was enough to make Blaine jump and turn around.

"I…I didn't know you were up. I'm sorry I left I you, but you looked so happy and-"

Kurt walked over to him with a huge smile on his face.

"Blaine, it's fine."

He bent down to place a sweet, chaste kiss on his lips, Blaine smiling brightly when he pulled away. Blaine scooted over a bit on the piano bench and Kurt sat down next to him, immediately resting his head on Blaine's shoulder as they clasped their hands.

"That was Coldplay, right?"

He nodded.

"Yeah, Postcards from Far Away."

Kurt gave him a single kiss on the neck.

"It sounded very beautiful."

"Thank you."

Kurt reached forward to hit a few notes on the piano.

"No one's used this piano is years, I'm surprised it still sounded in tune. My mom used to play on it all the time. She'd give me lesson but I don't remember much. Just a few songs."

Blaine looked down at Kurt with a raised eyebrow.

"Like, You Are My Sunshine?"

Kurt laughed.

"Yes, like that."

"Here."

Blaine took Kurt's right hand and placed it on a few keys. He set his own hand right on top of Kurt's and began to play a simple song. Over and over Blaine moved Kurt's hand through a familiar rhythm until finally he let go and Kurt was playing by himself.

After only two notes he hit the wrong key. Blaine pointed to the correct one and Kurt kept playing, until three notes later when he hit the wrong key again. Blaine pointed to the correct one and Kurt grinned, purposefully hitting the wrong key.

"This one?"

The process repeated; both of them smiling and giggling until Kurt decided to play into "You Are my Sunshine."

The both of them laughed for a second after Kurt had played the first few notes but soon quieted down, Blaine's mind taking him back to when he was younger.

"My mom loved to sing. When I was little she'd always make sure Coop and I were educated in art, especially music. I'd have piano lessons every Sunday after church. I loved it. Cooper? Not so much. He loved play, just not with his hands."

Blaine chuckled.

"To this day he won't touch a piano unless it's with his butt."

Kurt burst out into laughter at the thought of Cooper practically smacking the keys with his behind. Blaine laughed along with him, but his smile slowly faded as he stared down at the keys.

"I would spend hours on the piano, and all my dad wanted was for me to come play football with him and Coop….He always kinda blamed my mom for how I turned out."

Blaine shook the thought out of his head and turned to Kurt, picking up their intertwined fingers and kissing the back of Kurt's hand.

He watched as a single tear glistened at the edge Blaine's eye and he brushed it away with his thumb, quickly leaning forward to kiss his boyfriend. Blaine let go of Kurt's hand and kissed him back so deeply that it felt like an electric pulse ran through his body.

Blaine pulled away to look Kurt in the eyes.

"You know I care about you, right?"

Kurt nodded immediately.

"Of course."

Blaine leaned forwards, pulling him into a tight embrace and Kurt held on just as tightly, as if he had the intention of never letting go.

"I don't know what I'd do if lost you…I…I'm so sorry, Kurt."

Kurt rubbed Blaine's back soothingly.

"Hey, no more of that, okay? We're gonna be fine."

Blaine laughed, still mystified at how kind Kurt was.

"How can you just forgive me like that?"

Kurt pulled back and placed a long, soft kiss on his lips.

"Because I care about you too. And being with you…it just feels right."