Chapter 18

"…and then he just walked out and nobody heard from him for the rest of the night."

Tina's jaw dropped.

"He didn't tell anyone where he was going? Just left the party, just like that?"

Mercedes nodded slowly, smiling confidently about her gossip.

Tina shook her head in disbelief then turned to Kurt and began prodding him with her pencil.

"Hey, Kurt. Kurt! Were you listening?"

He snapped his head towards the two girls who were now staring at him expectantly.

"What? Oh, um yeah. The party, sure."

They could have been showing Kurt the unseen designs from Marc Jacobs's new collection and he wouldn't have been able to focus. For the last half an hour or so, the three of them had been sitting at a table in the library, 'studying', which was really just them swapping the latest gossip.

Tina and Mercedes' voices droned on, each little rumor blending with the next one. And it didn't help that Kurt was so distracted. His eyes dreamily drifted back to a far off table that held Blaine and Quinn; both of them desperately attempting a tutoring session for Brittany that was clearly failing.

"I was pretty sure Julius Caesar was just about a really mean salad."

Kurt couldn't help but smile at Brittany's comment, her bright voice carrying all the way across the room. He watched as Quinn's head tilted to the side a bit, just staring at Brittany while Blaine did his best to stay hopeful. Kurt watched his every move, longing to at least be able to talk to him.

Ever since the rumors had started to spread, they had been spending less and less time together during school. Blaine needed to be safe, and they both knew that this was for the best. But it all just seemed so…unfair.

Just a few weeks ago they were laughing with each other like best friends, holding hands when they knew no one was looking, subliminally flirting through conversation. Keeping their whole 'thing' a secret had kind of been exciting.

But now, now it was almost torture.

Now he had to wait for small, spare moments of complete alone time to even be in arms distance of him. And even when they were together, Blaine seemed so tense and stressed. And Kurt just wanted everything to stop; stop and go back to that stupid snow covered carriage where they could just be Kurt and Blaine and not have to worry anymore.

The worst part was having no one to talk to about it. To keep every single thing bottled up inside and-

"Kurt? Kurt…..KURT!"

He snapped out of his daze when he heard his name being called for probably the fiftieth time, lethargically turning his head over to face his friends.

"Were you saying something?"

Mercedes raised an eyebrow at Tina and she just rolled her eyes.

"Have you been listening at all?"

Kurt's gaze unintentionally drifted back towards Blaine, not even focusing on what he was saying.

"Oh, yeah sure. Of course, heard every word."

Mercedes held out a hand, snapping her fingers right in front of Kurt's face to get his attention.

"Kurt, eyes over here."

He took a deep breath and forced himself to turn his whole body towards them, plastering a happy smile on his face.

"Sorry, what were you saying again?"

But Mercedes didn't fall for that smile; she never did.

"Something up with your new boo?"

Kurt's eyes widened a bit and Tina perked up in interest.

"New boo?"

"Kurt has a mysterious new boyfriend."

Mercedes smiled deliciously as she spoke to Tina, and the cute little Asian was unable to hide her excitement when she turned to Kurt.

"Wait! Seriously?"

Kurt propped his elbow on the table and slumped his head down to rest in his hand, staring at Tina with all of the boredom he could manage.

"What? You didn't know? I was pretty sure Mercedes and Rachel got their own talk show just so they could broadcast it to the whole damn world."

Mercedes chuckled briefly, her laughing telling Kurt just how funny he wasn't. Kurt rolled his eyes and went back down to the page of math homework sitting in front of him, glaring at the thirty problems he still had yet to do.

"And we're fine. I just haven't had much sleep lately."

Tina shot a look at Mercedes as she raised an eyebrow, the both of them immediately jumping to very dirty conclusions.

Kurt caught their expressions and his head shot up out of his hand.

"Oh my god! Not like that! You two are disgusting!"

Mercedes flaunted a smug grin, responding with a rather suggestive,

"Mmmhmm."

Tina giggled for a second, enjoying the flush that spread over Kurt's cheeks. She was still smiling when she glanced down at her watch, and then turned to Mercedes when she saw the time.

"Wanna go get some coffee? I feel like I'm gonna crash."

Mercedes nodded and the both of them began to pack up their bags.

"Sounds good to me."

She stood and then looked back down to Kurt, who had yet to move from his spot on at the table.

"You wanna come with, Kurt?"

"I have cheer practice in twenty minutes. I'll catch up with you guys later."

Tina frowned a bit as she slung her bag over her shoulder and leaned down to give Kurt a quick hug.

"Alright, well, have fun."

Mercedes smirked and lightly bumped Kurt with her hip.

"But not too much fun."

Kurt's face scrunched up at the contact and he drew back from Mercedes, shooting one last dirty look in her direction before they walked out and left him to his own devices. Kurt picked up his pencil and once again glared down at his math work.

Why are there so many letters in this? This is math. Not English.

He tried his hardest to throw all his energy into his current hatred of calculus, but it was no use. He found himself, once again, looking in Blaine's direction. Only this time, his line of sight was interrupted by two Cheerio uniforms as a couple of giddy girls began to flirt with his boyfriend.

So I guess the rumors haven't changed everyone's minds.

He watched as Blaine flirted back, the football player seeming so at ease with all of the attention. It was almost endearing, he was so good at acting straight. The way held his posture, so relaxed yet captivating; the way his eyes traveled, knowing exactly where to look and when; the way his perfect smile seemed to grown brighter and brighter with every second. He was loving every bit of it.

So were the girls; the pair of them giggling loudly and hanging on to Blaine's every word. Touching the sleeves of his Letterman jacket, twirling their fingers around his loose curls as he practically basked in the random affection.

And Kurt felt…jealous. He had no idea why, they were girls after all, it's not like anything would come of it; Blaine was just keeping up with his reputation.

Right?

But his jealously fizzled out when the two Cheerios finally walked away. Blaine briefly made eye contact with him; a light, beautiful smile growing on his face as he did.

It was the smile he showed only to Kurt.

How are you that adorable? Just, how?

Quinn tapped Blaine on the shoulder, making him break eye contact with Kurt to quickly go back to his failed tutoring session.

Quinn was gesturing to Brittany's book and Kurt watched as Blaine took the novel and flipped it right side up. Quinn took a deep breath and shook her head, the three of them officially deciding to call it quits. They trio packed up their stuff and began to head out of the library, passing right by Kurt as they did so.

"Hey, Blaine."

Kurt smiled up at him, only to receive a tiny nod of acknowledgement.

He felt his heart sink. He knew he shouldn't have been so disappointed. After all, there were still rumors floating around and even though the girls didn't seem to care, Blaine couldn't risk it. His head told him not to think much of it, but his heart seemed to ignore all logic; it broke a little more with each step Blaine took.

Kurt watched as they left the room, his attention being called back to the table only when Karofsky slid into the seat across from him.

"What's wrong Hummel? Is Ryan Seacrest over there not letting you be on bottom?"

Kurt's jaw clenched and he refused to make eye contact, keeping his gaze firmly on his work.

"I am really not in the mood for your crap, David."

Karofsky leaned back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest, a smug smile making its way onto his face.

"Well, damn Hummel, you've really got something up your ass today."

When the only response from Kurt was silence and a tighter grip on his pencil, David continued on.

"Or is that just your boyfriend up your ass?"

Kurt slammed his pencil down and glared at Karofsky with all of the hate he could muster.

"Would you mind shutting up and leaving me alone?"

Karofsky held up his hands; that damn smirk still on his face as he spoke.

"Fine. Just saying, he hardly seems worth all the trouble he's causing you."

Karofsky began to get up out of the seat, and Kurt watched him, suddenly realizing something as he did so.

This was the one other person who knew about him and Blaine.

The one person who, even though Kurt hated him, if he said anything it wouldn't add to the rumors, it wouldn't do any harm. Kurt was at his breaking point and if he didn't talk to someone soon he would go insane.

So he just started talking. He let himself forget that it was Karofsky he was telling all of this to, and he opened up.

"I know. But…he's a great boyfriend. He really is. It's just…I don't know. I really miss being around him. I don't get why we can't at least act like friends. I mean, I'm friends with Puck and Sam and Mike and Artie, granted I'm in Glee with them but still."

Kurt kept talking, not even noticing when Karofsky stood still to listen.

"I'm just so tired of everyone being able to be around him but me and…"

Kurt found himself abruptly out of words as he looked up at the motionless jock standing across the table from him.

"And why am I even talking to you about this? You're the whole reason I can't be with him."

Kurt looked almost disgusted as he began to put his folders back into his bag, Karofsky just standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"I don't know. I have better things to do than listen to you complain about your ridiculous boyfriend problems anyways."

Kurt stood; his bag in hand and his voice full of daggers as he glared at Karofsky.

"Then why did you even ask in the first place?"

Karofsky had no answer, at least not one he could say out loud, and he was silent as Kurt waited for him to speak.

The cheerleader soon got tired of his question being unacknowledged and he glanced up at the clock.

"I'm gonna be late for practice."

Without another word, Kurt turned on his heel and left Karofsky standing alone in the library.

It had been a few days since the rumors began and Blaine had never felt more alone. His friends had barely talked to him and a lot of people seemed to avoid him in the hallways. And now, in the minutes before football practice, the division was clear.

It felt like there were two groups in the locker room, there was Blaine, and then there was rest of the team. There was almost a dead silence, only a few conversations going on, nobody speaking above a loud whisper.

Finn, Sam and the rest of the Glee guys entered the locker room, very boisterous and noisy, not realizing they had just stumbled into near silence. But it didn't matter, their loud attitudes were lightening the mood a bit and some of the tension just slipped out of the room. They made their way over to their lockers next to Blaine, joking around like nothing was going on.

Everyone seemed a bit more relaxed as they began to change for practice and Blaine was about to pull off his shirt he heard Karofsky's intrusive voice.

"Shouldn't you be changing in the girl's locker room?"

Blaine paused, his hand leaving the hem of his shirt, and slowly turned around to meet Karofsky's eyes.

"Excuse me?"

All of the previous tension flooded back into room, the guys' carefree attitudes suddenly waning. Karofsky took a step forwards, his whole demeanor making it seem like he was offended at Blaine's presence.

"I don't want you standing in here staring at my junk. None of us guys do. So get the hell out."

Blaine didn't have a response for that; he was too shocked to get his brain to function. No one had actually said anything like that to his face before. Finn quickly turned around when he noticed and walked a few steps towards Karofsky.

"Hey man, do you ever let up?"

David just scoffed in his face and turned to Blaine.

"Oh Blaine! I didn't realize you brought mommy along. Does she always have to fight your battles for you?"

Puck strode right up to stand directly in front of Karofsky.

"I don't see you fighting yours alone either. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever even seen you fight. Just get the crap kicked out of you."

The rest of the guys in the locker room seemed to laugh, all of them a bit surprised that someone would actually call Karofsky out like that. So David just laughed along with them, brushing off the comment as he walked back to his locker, tail between his legs.

"Whatever."

Sensing that the worst was over, the rest of the team dispersed and Finn and Puck headed back over to their lockers.

Finn immediately turned to Blaine, trying to apologize for just jumping in like that.

"Hey man, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to-"

Blaine shook his head.

"No. Thanks. It's nice to have someone on my side."

Mike came up, giving Blaine a pat on the shoulder.

"Dude, we got your back."

Sam turned his head a bit and almost shouted back at Blaine, causing him to cringe a bit as he spoke.

"Yeah. We know you're not gay. If you were that'd be a little weird 'cause, you know, we've all changed in front of each other."

Finn rolled his eyes at Sam's loud volume, but turned to Blaine to give him a friendly punch on the arm.

"Yeah, man. Besides, me and Kurt are really close. So, if anything was going on between you two, I would know."

Blaine used all of his mental strength to suppress his laughter; his mind barely able to handle the irony of that statement.

Finn just smiled that dopey smile of his before going back to getting changed, him and the rest of the guys completely comfortable now that Blaine's sexuality was 'confirmed'.

And Blaine smiled too, because he was supposed to. Because now he knew his friends were okay with whom they thought he was. They were completely comfortable with this lie that they knew nothing about.

So Blaine should have been happy, because this was exactly what he had wanted; exactly what he had longed for since he came here. But somehow, none of that made him feel any better. After all, he couldn't keep this up forever.

Kurt: Hey there stranger. :)

Blaine: hi

Kurt: Have I ever told you how adorable you are?

Blaine: yep

Kurt: Is something wrong?

Blaine: no

Kurt: Blaine…

Blaine: ppl know we text. I can't risk it.

Kurt: Right. Sorry. :/

         I just really miss you.

Blaine: Miss u too. I just can't right now. Sorry.

Kurt: Don't apologize. It's fine. I understand. I'll talk to you later. :)

Blaine: You're the best boyfriend ever, you know that?

Kurt walked down the hallway, his solemn attitude in high contrast with the two girls giggling behind him. Rachel finally took notice to the same gloomy demeanor Mercedes had been putting up with since yesterday.

"Oh come on, Kurt! That was hilarious! Lighten up."

Kurt hurried onwards, not even bothering to turn his head when he shouted back to Rachel.

"You over estimate your own humor, Rachel. And besides, I'm really not in the mood."

She caught up with him, nearly skipping as she did so, and linked her arm in his.

"What's wrong?"

Before Kurt had the chance to radiate anymore gloom, Mercedes was there on the other side of Kurt, looping his free arm with hers.

"Issues with his Mystery Man."

Kurt let out his thousandth exasperated sigh since yesterday.

"For the tenth time, Mercedes, I'm not having issues with this so called 'Mystery Man'."

The pair of them unlinked their arms as Kurt began opening his locker. Rachel leaned up against the one next to his, trying to phrase her question as nice as she possibly could.

"So, not to be pessimistic or anything, but if you two break up, will you tell us who he is?"

Kurt looked at her, his face full of shock. But he pulled himself together soon enough and turned back to his locker.

"Oh my god. Guys. There is nothing going on between me and this stupid-"

Kurt yanked open the little door, his voice falling flat when he saw its contents.

A single perfect red rose drifted to the ground, a small note attached to it by a shiny satin ribbon.

Kurt's words were practically a breath as he bent down to pick up the flower.

"…Mystery Man."

Kurt unfolded the note, quietly reading the poem inside it, written in Blaine's signature swift but legible pen strokes.

I'll never find the words,

To say how much I miss,

Your sweet and gentle touch,

Your loving, tender kiss.

Smiles from a distance,

Fleeting glances from afar

Just don't seem like enough,

When you're worth so much more.

I know the road looks harsh,

But we will make it through,

'Cause you were meant for me,

And I was meant for you.

The girls had been standing there, a bit confused as to what was going on, but as they watched Kurt's face slowly light up and a blush spread across he cheeks, they knew who it was from.

Rachel was the first to react, jumping up and down and clapping like a maniac before excitedly reaching for the note, her tiny hands grasping at thin air as he held the note just out of arm's length.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! It's from him! Let me read it! Let me read it!"

Mercedes became just as excited, trying to grab the note from Kurt's hands while he tried to keep it away from Rachel.

"Give it to me, Kurt! Now! What did he say!?"

Kurt used all of his strength to shove the two girls off him to avoid being mauled to death.

"Guys! Stop! You're gonna destroy it."

The smile that had been on his face grew a bit wider as he watched the two girls pout, almost enjoying how invested they were in this little mystery.

"I've gotta go. I'll see you crazies later."

He flashed one last grin and shut his locker before turning and walking back down the hall, laughing a bit when he heard Rachel shout from behind him.

"You can't hide this from us forever, Kurt!"

He just walked on, burying his nose in the sweet scent of the flower. His eyes lightly swept to the side, taking notice of Blaine leaning up against some lockers. Some ditzy cheerleader stood next to him, twirling her high pony around her finger.

The bored smile on Blaine's face seemed to light up as his gaze casually mingled with Kurt's. His eyes gleamed, as if seeing Kurt brought more joy to his life than anything else could.

His wink was so subtle; Kurt almost swore he imagined it. But the light fluttering of his heart let him know it was real. This was real.

And nothing could change that.