Trust

Chapter Fifteen

"I'm worried he's gonna be mad at me," Finn has his hand on the doorknob, eyes darting around the hallway before settling on Rachel's apartment before he shakes his head and looks back to his door. "I had to leave, dude. He and I had a…we got into a fight back when our parents started dating and I got really mad and said something really stupid, and he was hurt really, really bad because of it, so ever since then I've tried to be really careful what I say around him 'cuz I never wanna see him sad," Finn admits, and Blaine isn't going to press because he knows Kurt will tell him if it's truly that important.

"I'm sure he won't be," Blaine assures him, touching Finn's arm gently as they reach the building and head up the stairs. He can tell that Finn's still a little confused about everything that's happened, but he loves Kurt above everything else and Blaine knows he's going to do his best to listen and understand what's going on.

They reach the door and Finn takes a deep breath, looking nervous as he puts the key in the lock and turns, opening the door and glancing around the empty living room. "Kurt?" he calls, and Blaine peers in behind him to see Kurt curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and shaking. He looks pitiful, broken, and Blaine wants to run to him even though he knows Finn has to be the one to make the first move. "Kurt? Hey, dude, I'm back…"

"Do you hate me?" Kurt's voice is thick with tears and he sniffs, barely looking up. "You can hate me. I don't…"

"Kurt," Finn says softly, and Blaine can hear the affection in his tone and knows that it's going to be okay. "Hey, man, c'mere."

Kurt sniffs and looks up, eyes landing on Blaine and widening. "Finn, you didn't…"

"He ran into me at the coffee shop. We talked. It's okay," Blaine says gently and Finn flashes him a grateful smile.

"Dude, I just wanna hug you. Please?" Finn spreads his arms and God, he's got a giant reach, Blaine thinks as he ducks out of the way. It's a good thing too because a second later Kurt's shooting past him like a rocket, clutching at Finn as the taller man wraps him up and Blaine can see Kurt's posture relax instantly, all the tension melting from his shoulders as his fears are eased. "We still need to talk," Finn murmurs into Kurt's hair, getting a tiny nod in return. "But I don't hate you. I could never hate you, dude."

"Thank you," Kurt pulls away for a second before tugging on Finn's wrist and leading him to the couch, leaning against him as he beckons Blaine to his other side and Blaine curls himself as close as he can, knowing that Kurt needs the contact right now. "I…I thought…"

"Kurt, dude, I can't be mad at you," Finn says quietly, his face pure guilt. "I…I know why you had to do it. And it was because of me. And I don't…it's my fault."

"Finn, no…" Kurt shakes his head immediately. "Don't say that. Yes, money was tight, but…"

"Like I told Blaine, if I was actually smart enough to keep my grades up and have a job at the same time nobody would have to worry about anything, but because I can't you have to go, like…dothat where anybody in the world can see it!" Finn exclaims, hand gripping Kurt's knee and Kurt lays a hand on top of Finn's trying to calm him down.

"Finn. Stop. I don't blame you. I was the one who found this job, and as long as I don't think too hard about where…what I'm doing is being streamed, I'm okay with it. They don't use my full name on the streaming anyway, and unless my dad is out looking for gay porn…which is about a million times more unlikely than Brittany looking for gay porn…we'll be fine. It's fine," he emphasizes and Blaine isn't quite sure if Finn believes him, but the larger man slings an arm around Kurt's shoulders and pulls him in.

"Okay. I mean, I still feel guilty, but…"

"Don't. Honestly," Kurt leans his head on Finn's chest and sighs, reaching to tangle his fingers with Blaine's. "I know some of it…isn't ideal. But we have money. We're paying rent. I've finally gotten a little bit of sexual experience…"

Blaine laughs at the scandalized look on Finn's face but he knows by now that Finn's completely find with Kurt's sexuality, and he's grateful that Kurt has people close to him that are so accepting.

"And I met Blaine. I'd never have met him otherwise and that's…that makes it all worth it," Kurt's voice is a whisper but Blaine squeezes his hand because he feels the same way. Sometimes his job isn't the greatest, or what he'd have envisioned himself doing, but he has Kurt now and that's more than he ever could have thought possible.

"Yeah. I'm really happy you're happy, dude," Finn promises, and Blaine knows that everything's okay now. "So, we should totally watch some TV."

"Not sports," Kurt says immediately, sticking his tongue out rather maturely but Blaine thinks it's adorable and laughs, nudging Kurt's shoulder with his own.

"I wouldn't mind sports, so I'm afraid you're outvoted."

"My own boyfriend, siding with my lug of a stepbrother," Kurt sighs dramatically but the tension in the room is completely gone and Blaine's glad that nothing's been damaged from Kurt's secret finally getting out.

000

"I meant what I said," Kurt's lying on his stomach on the bed a couple of days later, Rachel actually at Paul's tonight for once since his roommate is out, and Blaine looks at him curiously. "When I said I…wanted you to finger me? I meant it. I want to know what it feels like," he's blushing and he knows it but Blaine nods and crawls onto the bed to kiss him, holding his head in place for a moment or two.

"Okay. You've never…"

"No," Kurt shakes his head. "I…I tried a couple of times but I could never get past how weird it felt. Maybe if you do it it'll be better," he reaches to strip his shirt off, not caring about being naked in front of Blaine anymore because he's seen him often enough. The thought strikes him when he's shoving his tight jeans down that they've never been naked at the same time, and he's surprised at how much he wants that. "Do you think you could…I know we've never…" he has no idea why this is making him nervous but Blaine seems to get it and nods, getting out of his clothes quickly and lying down on top of Kurt.

Blaine feels amazing against him, all warm dry skin and Kurt buries his nose in Blaine's neck, smelling a mixture of his own scent and some light cologne and he sighs and nuzzles there for a moment before kissing softly as Blaine gasps. "Kurt…"

"Hmm?" Kurt pulls back enough to meet his eyes and Blaine leans down for a proper kiss, slow and slick as he fumbles beside him for a moment. "Do you…lube. Right," he rolls to the side to grab the bottle from the bedside drawer, almost embarrassed because it's not even open, but Blaine doesn't seem to care as he gets the bottle open and slicks up his fingers.

"Lie back," he directs and Kurt does, Blaine lowering himself on top of him again and the first rub of their cocks together is like Heaven, Kurt throwing his head back and keening as Blaine chuckles and kisses his jaw. "Relax, Kurt. This won't hurt if you're relaxed, and if it does tell me and I'll stop. I want to make you feel good."

"Okay," Kurt wills his body to relax, sinking down into the bed, and Blaine kisses him on the lips this time, clean hand moving Kurt's leg up and out of the way before Kurt shivers at the feeling of a lubed finger tracing his entrance, pressing but not yet penetrating. "Okay," he says again and Blaine nods, pushing a little harder.

"Relax, baby," he murmurs and something about that makes Kurt come undone, his body pliant and open as Blaine's finger slides in easily. "Good. Just like that. Still okay?"

"Yeah," Kurt leans up to kiss him, spreading his legs a little and just enjoying how safe he felt with Blaine like this. He knows that Blaine won't hurt him, that he'll never push him too far, and that's the best feeling he can think of. "You can…more…"

Blaine nods and adds another finger, Kurt breathing in through his nose because yes, he can feel it now, but it's still not painful. "I'm going to…hang on…" Blaine covers his mouth with his own and crooks his fingers a little and Kurt feels an intense bolt of pleasure-pain soar through him, moaning into Blaine's mouth because he'd almost come undone right then and there.

"Prostate?" he asks with a gasp, tearing his mouth from Blaine's, and the older man is grinning at him, hazel eyes dancing as he nods. "That's…"

"Amazing. I know," Blaine goes back to kissing him, like he can't stop, and Kurt's perfectly fine with that. He's very quickly discovered that kissing Blaine is one of his favourite pastimes and wonders how he had lived so many years without knowing how much joy a simple kiss could bring him. "Can I add one more?"

"Okay," Kurt says after a moment, finally lifting one leg and wrapping it around Blaine's waist to draw him in farther as Blaine slips a third finger in. "It's…weird."

"Yeah. That about sums it up," Blaine snickers, moving his fingers again so they're pressing against Kurt's prostate and he sucks in a breath, clutching at Blaine and not wanting to ever let him go. "Can you touch yourself?" Blaine asks softly and Kurt does, knowing that it's an awkward angle for Blaine, but with Blaine kissing him and his fingers inside him it doesn't take more than a few strokes before he's coming, streaking his stomach and Blaine's chest as the shorter man pulls up a little bit, fingers sliding out before Kurt can tense up. "You're so beautiful," Blaine sounds awed and Kurt knows he's blushing again because Blaine just…does that to him.

"Mm. That was…yeah," Kurt can't come up with a better term even though that honestly sounds like something Finn would say and the thought has him laughing a little bit.

He's happy, and relaxed, and lying with a man he could oh-so-easily love, and that's all he's ever wanted in life.

Except, he realizes a moment later, Blaine's still hard. "Do you want me to…" he gestures and Blaine nods, biting his lower lip and his curls are falling haphazardly in his eyes as he flops onto his back and Kurt changes position, groaning as Blaine's fingers slide through the cum on his chest and he raises them to his mouth absently to suck them clean. "Oh, wow."

"Whatever you want," Blaine shrugs like he hadn't just done one of the most goddamn sexy things Kurt's ever seen.

"Well…" Kurt leans down to kiss him, tasting himself on Blaine's tongue, and thinks for a second. "I wouldn't mind trying out giving you a blowjob, since you were so kind to give me one that day. If that's acceptable."

"More than," Blaine promises, looking radiant as Kurt kisses his way down Blaine's body, and Kurt's going to do his best to make this as good as he can.

After all, Blaine deserves that.