[HotHollywoodDish video – Kurt Hummel red carpet interview]

Did he just say boyfriend? Did that really just happen? What is air?

I'm in a glass case of emotion! Our bb has a bf - I just can't...

They are sooooo cuTE together. Blaine is beauuuutiful [Emma_Stone_crying image]

*dead*

Childhood friend? *whelp* It's so great Kurt has someone who he can trust loves him for him and not his fame. My fan girl heart is overflowing

Send help

Don't mind me I just have a tree in my eye or something

I hereby designated myself a Klaine-stan

Can't breath. Somebody hold me

*angels singing*

So who's writing the smut for this?

=^..^=

Kurt wanted to explain to Blaine why he had run off the night before, but he found he didn't quite know himself. He locked himself away in his room for a while and thought hard on the subject while drowning his feelings in half a cherry cheesecake (he was choosing to forget the whole kiss situation for now, since he only had half a cheesecake). By the end of the afternoon all he had accomplished was watching eight classic Project Runway episodes and consuming thousands of empty calories. He pushed his plate away and flopped back dramatically on the bed. When he'd looked across the street and seen those fans, some of them waving signs with his name on them, he'd been struck with an overwhelming need to be with them, to be around someone who didn't want his help with their career, who wasn't using him for publicity. He knew they only wanted his presence, a kind word, or maybe an autograph and suddenly he need that positive validation more than anything.

The run in with Giles had affected him even more than he thought. He could practically still feel his blood boiling as he remembered the day that one of the producers of Defiance had called him into his office and told him that there had been an accusation that Kurt had sexually harassed one of the extras on set the week before. The charges were, of course, unfounded and no one truly believed them, but it was a tense three days until it had all been cleared away. When a few rumors on the same subject popped up a few weeks later Kurt tracked them down to Giles, who had been after Kurt's role since day one. After that, Kurt had pulled his only diva move on set and demanded that he not have to work with Giles directly in any scenes. The director had agreed, which had resulted in Giles' role being reduced and an enemy for life had been made.

Kurt knew he was extremely lucky that no hint of the lies had reached the press, since that was exactly the kind of thing that could nip a promising career in the bud, but that didn't make him any more likely to forgive.

The fact that that dirty backstabber, that Benedict Arnold, that...Eve Harrington wannabe would dare to show up on Kurt's big night just to get some publicity made Kurt want to…well, Kurt was against violence, but he wanted to do some damage, that was for sure.

He didn't blame Blaine for getting angry — for either the incident with Robert or for Kurt running off to meet the fans. He regretted that Robert had come up to him at just the wrong moment, when he didn't have control of himself, and that Blaine had been there to witness his poor behavior. And running across the street on his own had been a stupid thing to do, especially after he had promised he would follow Blaine's instructions.

The fight had been unpleasant and Kurt certainly didn't want to repeat it, but it had, in many ways, been a revelation in the way he saw Blaine. There had been a fire in Blaine's eyes, an anger in his voice that Kurt had never witnessed before. He had still been in control, but on the edge of showing Kurt more of the real person that was locked away behind the slick and collected façade he presented to the world. It was the first time he'd seen Blaine be anything but cool, calm, and perfect and he found he kind of liked Blaine better for it. And for Blaine to get that angry, it at least meant that he cared, right?

Kurt made a mental note to have Bev get Robert's phone number so that he could apologize and to check with his agent to see if there were any parts that were just coming available that Robert might be right for. Making that plan made him feel a little bit better and he had finally worked up just about enough courage to face Blaine, but there was one thing he wanted to get out of the way first. He had been ignoring his buzzing phone since the night before, but he knew without a doubt that there was one specific message waiting for him. He keyed his password in and thumbed through his unread messages, bypassing those from Lynn or Bev for the time being, until he got to the one he was looking for.

I know it's been awhile since we've been able to tighten our bond with an amazing duet or rousing game of Don't Forget the Lyrics, but we are still best friends and I am shocked and not a little hurt that I had to hear the news about your new boyfriend from the internet. I have, however, decided to be magnanimous and forgive you, but you now have 12 hours to call before I fear that irreparable harm is done to our friendship. P.S. send pics soon, he looked super cute on the red carpet 3 — Rachel

Kurt read the message with a fond smile and checked the time to make sure he had a chance to catch Rachel before she left for the theater. He dialed her number and wasn't surprised when she picked up after the first ring and didn't even give him the chance to say anything before she jumped in.

"Kurt Hummel, I cannot believe that you didn't tell me about Blaine! My cast mates read about him online before I did and I didn't hear the end of it last night. I think they're starting to doubt we're really friends."

"Rachel, Blaine's not exactly who you think he is."

"He's not an incredibly sexy man who looks like he stepped out of one of your classic romantic movie fantasies?"

Kurt could picture Rachel with her hands on her hips, wearing one of the too-short skirts with too-tall socks he had never been able to completely talk her out of wearing. "Well…yes, he is that, but he's not my boyfriend."

"But…the interview. You said…"

Kurt proceeded to fill Rachel in on the situation, from the initial talk with Bev to the latest letter. Surprisingly she let him get it all out and didn't interrupt once. When he was finished he sank onto the edge of the bed, drained but relieved it was all out.

"But he's gay, right?"

"And why does that matter?"

"Because it's obvious you like him and from watching that interview last night I think it's possible he likes you to. You do you like him in that way, right?"

Kurt flopped back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling as if it held the answers to the secrets of the universe. "I…I…maybe? You know me, put an inappropriate or unattainable guy within 20 feet of me and I'll develop a full blown crush on him. I need to be smarter this time."

"Smart is good. I'm all for being smart in situations like this, but along with your propensity for crushes on unsuitable men I also know that you tend to overthink things — which is yet another thing that proves we're platonic soulmates, by the way. Remember what you told me when broke I up with Brody and was convinced I was going to be alone forever and I suggested that we get married and start popping out artificially inseminated children? Maybe you should take some of your own advice. Just let it be and don't get ahead of yourself. Great things are going to happen for you if you just give them time."

"Have I told you lately how much I miss you?"

Rachel's voice softened over the phone line and Kurt could clearly picture the look of love in her eyes. "I miss you to. You'd better visit me soon or I won't be held responsible for my actions. Now I've got to go or I'll be late. I expect weekly updates, though."

"Good luck tonight. Break a leg."

"It's only the chorus. I could literally break a leg and I'm not sure anyone would even notice, but I appreciate the sentiment."

=^..^=

Kurt finally emerged from his room in the late afternoon and Blaine knew he was going to have to say something to break the ice that had momentarily reformed over their relationship. They couldn't go on like that from a professional standpoint, but almost as importantly, Blaine didn't want their friendship to be permanently damaged. Things had been going so well and he had been amused (and a little aroused) at Kurt's improv moments and he wanted to get back to that ease they had developed.

He heard Kurt move around the kitchen and wondered if he was baking again, a stress-relieving habit he had that Blaine found both delicious and dangerous to his waistline. Soon the air began to fill with the tantalizing scent of curry and Blaine followed his nose out of his room to see what was on the menu. He found the table set elegantly with two place settings and two tall pillar candles waiting to be lit. He tentatively took that as a good sign and continued in to the kitchen, where he could hear Kurt moving around.

When he entered the room all he could see was Kurt's amazingly toned butt, highlighted to perfection in the tightest jeans known to man, poking out from behind the fridge door as he bent over to put something back inside. Blaine stopped in the entryway and cleared his throat to announce his appearance.

Kurt's head appeared from behind the door as he gave a start at the noise. "You're early," he exclaimed, breathlessness pushing his voice a little higher than usual. "Dinner won't be ready for a few more minutes."

"You cooked?"

"Yes, I do know how to cook more than omelets. I'm excellent at it, as a matter of fact." Kurt puffed his chest out a bit and lifted his eyebrow haughtily, an effect totally ruined by the oven mitt decorated to look like a penguin that covered his right hand.

"I'd be surprised if you weren't. I think you are probably good at everything you try."

"It turns out I'm not so great at dealing with feelings churned up by obnoxious ex-co-stars," Kurt closed the fridge and moved over to the counter to wipe it down with the cloth that had been lying there. He kept his eyes on his work and didn't make eye contact. "I was a jerk. To you and that Disney Channel kid."

"Robert," Blaine reminded gently.

"Yeah, Robert. I let Giles get to me and I took it out on him and when you called me on it I just…I'm not at my best when I'm upset and I'm really sorry. I'll never knowingly put myself in danger like that again, I promise. I swear on my vintage McQueen scarves."

"No! Not the scarves!" Blaine mocked gently.

"Yes, and that should tell you just how sorry I am. Nothing messes with my McQueen."

Blaine felt his heart warm at Kurt's worried expression. He could see how upset Kurt was about their fight and how anxious he was to put things right again. "Kurt, can we talk?"

Kurt looked a little apprehensive, but nodded and followed Blaine to the table, finally pulling off the oven mitt and laying it beside him.

Blaine joined him at the table and hooked his ankles around the legs of the chair, needing that extra bit of anchor, of connection. "Well, first…first I'd like to apologize for what I said last night after Robert left. You were obviously upset and said things you didn't mean and instead of trying to figure out what was wrong I went ahead and did the exact same thing. I let my anger get the best of me and I'm really sorry."

"Apology accepted." Kurt reached over to lay his hand on top of Blaine's. "You weren't wrong, you know. I don't have a lot of friends out here and my tendency towards bitchiness when I'm upset is probably one of the reasons. And I was definitely upset last night."

"Can I ask why? I mean, Giles seemed like a giant tool, but am I missing something?"

Kurt told him about Giles and the problems he had caused during the filming of Defiance. By the end Blaine was glad he didn't know where to find the other man, because if he did he might not have been responsible for his actions. They then proceeded to talk through the rest of the drama from the night before. Kurt apologized for the incident with the fans and Blaine pleaded, once again, for Kurt not to put himself in danger. This time however he capped his plea off with "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. Please, please don't make me find out."

They talked until the kitchen timer went off and the heavenly smells emanating from it finally registered.

"Is that Indian food I smell?" Blaine asked, peered hopefully towards the kitchen.

Kurt pushed back his chair, slipping the penguin mitt back on. "I used to live above an Indian restaurant in New York that had the most amazing curries. I did some repairs on the owner's car once and she repaid me by teaching me a few secret family recipes."

"Kurt…you had me at curry."

=^..^=

Interest in the new couple from the media exploded as soon as information began to leak out of the movie premier that Kurt had shown up with a date. Lynn responded to all the requests for interviews with a short statement she had prepared, but that of course wasn't enough for the giant entertainment gossip machine. In the days that followed Blaine noticed a surge in the number of paparazzi that tailed them whenever they ventured out in public. Fortunately, none of the photographers (if you could call them that) seemed to have figured out where Kurt lived, but Kurt and Blaine were easy enough to track once they left Bev's office, the studio, or any other number of places that could be staked out.

When they noticed they were being photographed they made sure to slip into 'boyfriend' mode and put on a little bit of a show. After the first few times Kurt had laughed and said that Blaine's natural gallantry already put most real boyfriends to shame, so all it took was for Blaine to let his hand on Kurt's back linger a bit longer, for them to look a little deeper into each other's eyes when talking, or for Kurt to look a little starry-eyed when Blaine held the door for him, in order to have everyone fooled.

By mutual unspoken agreement they didn't discuss the kiss at Kurt's premier, each happy to pretend that it had just been part of the act. And if Kurt's eyes sometimes lingered a bit too long on Blaine's lips or if he had a tendency to slip into a daydream about the feeling of Blaine's arm wrapped tightly around his back, well, he was hurting nobody but himself.

Kurt was amazed at how natural the whole situation felt and he knew he was in danger of believing his own lie. The fake relationship he and Blaine were cooking up was a little too close to what he had always dreamed of for himself and he didn't want to become one of those actors who couldn't tell the difference between the role and reality. He had already seen a few on-set relationships, forged in the intimacy of the script or the closeness and isolation of shooting on location, fail as soon as everyone returned to the real world. That was a trap he wasn't interested in falling into.

=^..^=

After an early morning appointment with Bev, Kurt and Blaine were heading back to their car, arguing back-and-forth good naturedly about whether modern art was really art (Kurt said 'yes' and Blaine remained unconvinced) when Blaine put out an arm and stopped Kurt in his tracks. Kurt followed Blaine's gaze to his car, which seemed to glisten oddly in the dim light of the garage. Scraps of paper were stuck all over the surface, fluttering in the air that was being circulated by a giant fan in the garage wall.

Blaine immediately asked Kurt to move back inside the elevator lobby while he investigated. Kurt reluctantly agreed, but declared he would be watching out the window, his finger on the 911 speed dial. Blaine wanted to argue, but the mulish set of Kurt's jaw told him he would be wasting his breath. He approached the car slowly while searching for any signs that the vandal was still in the area. There seemed to be no one around, so he got closer to the car and took a few pictures using his phone. Swirled all over the body of the car was a thick, amber colored substance that looked like… Blaine leaned forward a bit and sniffed at a pool of the goo gathering above one of the windshield wipers. Yep, someone had poured honey all over the car. Stuck in the honey were 20 or so pieces of paper the size of his hand that looked like that might have initially been placed so that they stood up vertically, but were now sunk forward brokenly.

Carefully not to touch anything directly, Blaine pulled the pocket square from his jacket and used it to lift up the corner of one of the drooping pieces of paper. He was unsurprised to find Kurt's smiling face staring back at him — a copy of the same photo that had been included in the letter from the stalker. He lifted a few more of the papers and found a few different photos taken of them outside the restaurant as well as others that included just Kurt. On the trunk of the car he found a note in pink letters that read I love you because you're sweet like honey.

Blaine called Bev and they talked for a bit on whether or not to call the police. It kind of seemed like an over-reaction — there didn't seem to be any lasting damage and the vandalism could even be written off as a prank — but if it was an escalation by the person writing the letters the police should be made aware in case something ever went to court. They finally agreed to call the authorities and Blaine joined Kurt in the elevator lobby to wait for someone to arrive.

Because of cases like that of Rebecca Schaefer, an actress who had been murdered on her doorstep by a deranged fan in the 1980s, the police in Hollywood and the surrounding areas took threats to celebrities very seriously. Within 20 minutes a police car had arrived and a detective was taking photographs of the car. The police had already been informed of the disturbing letters Kurt had been receiving, so the detective was quickly able to connect the vandalism to that case by the photos. By noon the car was fingerprinted, the photos removed, and Bev had already had her assistant, Kellie, make an appointment to have the car cleaned.

Footage from the garage security camera showed a figure dressed in jeans and an oversized hoody with the hood up approach the car about 15 minutes after Kurt and Blaine had arrived. The honey was poured and the photos placed in just a matter of minutes and then the figure slunk off, never once giving the camera a clear view of their face. In fact, it wasn't even clear if the figure in the video was that of a woman or a smaller man.

The building's security manager made a copy of the footage and gave it to the detective, who left with a promise to log the information in their file in case it was needed later.

Bill arrived to take them home and they left Kurt's car in the garage to be taken off to be detailed later. Once back at home, Kurt tossed his messenger bag down on a table by the front door, careful as always not to scratch the leather or gouge the table with the metal buckle on the strap, and went into the living room to collapse onto the sofa. "Well, that was fun. I don't know whether to feel violated or relieved it wasn't something worse." He leaned his head back and looked up at the ceiling before letting out a sharp laugh.

"What's so funny?" Blaine shrugged out of his jacket and draped it neatly over Kurt's bag to prevent wrinkles.

"Nothing. It's just not the first time I've been the victim of vandalism. This actually kind of seems on par with the tee-peeing of my high school choir room and the lawn furniture nailed to my roof." He swiveled his head around to look at Blaine, who was still standing by the door. "Am I wrong to not be overly worried about this? I mean, I'm not really getting dangerous vibes from honey and a message telling me I'm sweet, you know?"

Blaine decided being honest was the best path forward. "I think what we're most concerned with is that this person somehow knew you were in the building and knew which car was yours." He watched Kurt pick up a pen from the table and twirl it in his fingers, a nervous habit he had seen him exhibit on several occasions. "Look, do you want to go somewhere? Do something? I can get Bill back here."

"I-I think I just need to be here for a while, you know? Regroup."

Blaine nodded and joined him on the sofa as Kurt turned on the TV for a distraction. They watched a corny game show for a while before Kurt finally gave up and turned it off. "Okay, I changed my mind. I do want to see what people are saying about me on Tumblr. The good stuff, I mean." Kurt waved a hand vaguely in the air.

"Are you positive? I mean, some of it can be a little…extreme." Blaine wasn't sure it was the best idea. Some of the people on Tumblr, no matter how good their intentions, could take things a little far.

Kurt looked resolute. "Show me."

Blaine had two Tumblr accounts set up; One to follow the friendly blogs and one to watch the…not so friendly ones, so he logged into the good account and brought up a dashboard that was filled with pictures and writings about Kurt and the character he had played. He scrolled through so that Kurt could see, stopping every once and while to click off to a link or a longer post.

"I feel like I'm reading another language," Kurt commented, looking at the screen with a furrowed brow. "What's a 'Klainer'? And why would a picture of me make someone's ovaries explode? That doesn't even make sense."

"Klaine is our couple name. I kind of like it."

"Of course you do, you got almost all the letters," Kurt said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey! It's better than the alternative."

"I so would have broken up with you if people started calling us Blurt," Kurt cackled.

Blaine scrolled some more until Kurt stopped him on a set of photos cropped to show just his eyes and another set showing his butt. Kurt read through the notes that were commenting on the wonder that was his rear end and smiled. "Hmm…they're not wrong, you know. Those pants do make my ass look spectacular. Quick, can you send this one to my phone?"

"What? Why?" Blaine asked, his finger hovering over the mouse button.

"I want to go through my closet and match my pants up with the photos, so I can make note of which ones the fans consider winners in the 'ass ' category." Kurt paused and put a thoughtful finger up to his lips. "Do you think the pants that aren't featured make my ass look sub-par or did they just run out of room to include them all?"

Blaine shot him a disbelieving look. "I can't tell if you're joking right now or not and it's kind of scaring me."

"Joking, joking. Maybe. Seriously though, mail that to me," Kurt said as he mimed clicking the mouse button.

They spent the next 20 minutes looking through various posts, Kurt face burning at most of what they found. At one point they stumbled upon the blog of a Defiance super-fan who had blogged links to several pieces of fan fiction featuring Kurt's character, Drew. Despite Blaine's warning, Kurt decided to read through a couple of the shorter stories.

"I didn't realize women were so interested in gay porn. I think they may know more about it than I do, which is pretty humiliating." Kurt moved the mouse over to another link on the page. "What's this one—?"

"No Kurt, don't—"

"Oh. My. God. This is about us. I mean the real us. You and me and…is-is that position even physically possible?" He cocked his head to the side and his eyes lost focus as he tried to figure out the physics. "I'm never going to be able to look a fan in the face again without picturing them reading this, am I?"

"I'd say you should choose to be flattered. They're really happy to think that you found someone to be with. Plus, it's probably not every actor who's described as having…" Blaine peered at the screen to find a good quote, "'A body so slender and nubile, so pale and beautiful that he wouldn't have been out of place on Mount Olympus, with a member so long—'"

"All righty then!" Kurt clapped his hands together and stepped away from the computer. "On that note I think it's time to take a break! How about a snack?"

Kurt retreated to the kitchen followed by the sound of Blaine's laughter and popped a few scoops of the cookie dough he had made and refrigerated earlier in the week into the oven. When the timer went off he slipped the cookies onto a plate and settled onto the couch next to Blaine, sucking a bit of melted chocolate off his finger.

"So what made you want to become a bodyguard?" Kurt held out the plate of cookies and Blaine took two.

"I really didn't see myself going into the military and I didn't particularly have any talents or passions I thought I could make a career out of, so after high school I went to college thinking I'd get a teaching degree, maybe work with kids. Just before I graduated, one of my old instructors from high school contacted me. He was starting a private security firm and wanted to recruit me for the child protection division. It sounded challenging and the pay was good, so I sign on. It was never anything I saw myself doing, but it's been good and I really like working with the kids. Plus, most of the work is outside of the U.S., so I've gotten to travel a lot too, which is nice."

Kurt swallowed a bite of cookie and reached up to wipe a crumb off of his lips. "I'm sorry that I took you away from them. You must be itching to get back."

"No, this is good. I had just finished up an assignment where I was protecting a brother and sister and they weren't exactly little angels, so I was kind of looking for a break. I've had some good kids, though. Want to see?" Kurt nodded and Blaine jumped up and ran to his room, returning with a small photo album. "I started keeping a scrapbook during my first job. A few of the kids aren't represented— I always ask the parents if it's okay to put the kids in here and some don't want a record that they hired a bodyguard — but most of them are here."

He handed the album to Kurt, who opened it and began flipping through the pages. "Wow, there must be, what, 12 of them? So many!"

"I tend to get the shorter assignments — when one of the parents is on a dangerous temporary job assignment or during elections, that sort of thing. We have other people on staff who take the longer term jobs."

"Did you ask for that or…?" Kurt paused on the photo of a little girl with red curls who had always reminded Blaine of the main character from Annie.

"I volunteered. I don't really have any family or other relationships that mean I need to stay in one place. I'm good with being a nomad. I get bored staying in one spot too long."

"Oh." Blaine thought Kurt's voice sounded a bit subdued, but when he looked over Kurt was smiling, so he must have imagined it. "I guess I'm kind of a nomad too, now that I'm a movie actor. I mean, I live here, of course, but movies shoot all over the world so I expect to be gone a lot, out on location. I was kind of thinking it'd be nice to get a pet — a dog or a cat — to have someone to come home to, but if I'm going to be gone for months at a time I don't think it'd be fair. Someday, maybe."

=^..^=

Kurt and Blaine spent about half an hour going through the scrapbook, with Blaine describing each kid and telling a few funny stories. They had reached the end and Kurt was just about to hand it back when a few photos fell out from the back. Kurt picked them up and he knew that he would recognize that face anywhere.

"Is this you?" He held out the photo of a young boy, around age eight, sitting on a plaid bedspread in a room with dark green walls, holding a small toy robot.

"Yeah. Gosh, I haven't seen that photo in forever. See those," he pointed to the robot he was holding, as well as several others that lined the shelf behind him, "my grandfather collected those for years and every year at Christmas he'd give one to me. He died the year after this picture was taken and he left me his whole collection. I really loved those things."

"Do you still have them somewhere?"

"No," Blaine's eyes were shadowed with regret and a touch of anger that was only made more evident by the tensing of the muscle in his jaw, "my parents got rid of everything I didn't take with me to military school. I guess the robots were donated to charity or something. But I guess it's just as likely that they threw them away."

Kurt didn't know what to say. His room back in Lima was still mostly as he had left it when he went to New York and he couldn't imagine either his dad or Carole being so callous as to just dispose of his things without telling him. Blaine hadn't told Kurt much about his parents, but the fact that they would do that, and to things left to him by his dead grandfather, said a lot and Kurt was slowly creating a very sad picture of what it must have been like for Blaine growing up. Before he could come up with something to say that didn't sound like an empty platitude Blaine was changing the subject.

Blaine stood up and took a few steps towards the kitchen. "I'm kind of feeling like popcorn. Want to make some and watch TV?"

Realizing that Blaine didn't want to talk about his parents, Kurt nodded and pulled out his tablet so that they could pick a show to watch. He scrolled through the list, but Kurt was reluctant to suggest most of the shows that were in his queue because he was slightly embarrassed at how much reality TV he watched.

As the list of shows scrolled by Blaine pointed at the name of the umpteenth American Idol rip-off to come along since the original had sailed off into the TV cancellation sunset. "I can't stand that show."

"Me neither," Kurt vowed. "It's over-produced, the contestants have no talent, and the judges don't know what they're talking about."

"I know! It's the worst." Blaine paused for several seconds. "Want to watch it and make fun of the singing?"

"Absolutely."

Blaine went into the kitchen to make the popcorn as Kurt connected his tablet to the TV and got an episode queued up. When Blaine came back with the popcorn and drinks they settled in and Kurt decided it was time to be honest. "I have a confession to make. I love reality TV. The trashier the better. Screaming housewives, diva designers with no talent, semi-famous families capitalizing on the nation's appetite for fake drama and self-destructive behavior? It kind of feeds my soul."

"I haven't seen a lot of the more recent ones since I've been out of the country, but yeah, I'm kind of right there with you."

They shared a conspiratorial grin and Kurt reached for the popcorn bowl as the show started. He realized it shouldn't surprise him that he and Blaine shared similar tastes in television programs. After all, they liked the same foods, the same magazines, and most of the same music. While Kurt felt a greater connection to things of a sartorial nature, Blaine was proving to be more interested than Kurt could have ever hoped (he'd been thrilled when Blaine had taken the initiative and done some online shopping, giving final approval to Kurt, of course. Kurt had happily reviewed the items with a sense of pride probably not unlike a parent watching their child take their first steps). They even had similar tastes in sports. Blaine liked football and martial arts and Kurt liked…well, they couldn't have everything in common, could they?

Kurt thoughts were interrupted when Blaine reached for a handful of popcorn from the bowl in Kurt's hands. He snatched the bowl up and held it just out of Blaine's reach. "Hey, get your own."

"Better be nice to me or I'll tell the media what kind of TV you like to watch."

Kurt shoved the bowl at him with fake urgency, spilling a bit in the process. "I'd probably get my SAG card taken away." The opening credits of the show ended and the host came on the screen to give an overview of the upcoming performances. "Yes! Let the hate-watching begin."

The first contestant's biography video began playing, documenting her life struggles, which as far as Kurt could tell were that she hadn't been born rich and a natural blond. The piece ended and she took the stage to sing her first song, decked out in an outfit that looked like somebody had taken a weed whacker to an old 1970s pantsuit (not vintage, which implied a certain quality and stylishness, just old). Kurt was not impressed. "That outfit offends me personally. I really try not to be so judgmental, but she's making it so hard."

Singer after singer hit the stage and by the half-way point they had thrown almost as much popcorn at the screen as they had managed to eat. They held nothing back in their criticisms — style, voice, song choice— it was open season and Kurt couldn't believe how much fun he was having. Some of their criticisms were saved for the judges, though, who seemed to think every contestant was looking good and sounding even better.

"The judges are being too easy on them," Blaine said as yet another tone-deaf competitor was given positive comments. "They'll never learn if they don't get honest feedback. The judges need to stop being so nice." Kurt snorted into his soda and sent him a side-eyed glance. "What?"

"Just the irony of you saying someone is being too nice struck me as funny, that's all."

"I can be mean."

Kurt let out another snort, but this time Blaine chose to ignore it.

The final singer came on the stage and Blaine commented that it was evident from her painfully current pop princess looks and overly earnest biography video that she was not going to be good. He was right.

Kurt chewed slowly on a mouthful of popcorn and glared at the screen. "There was a girl named Sugar in my glee club who sounded like a cat in heat was trying to mate with an out-of-tune violin. Sugar was better than this girl."

Unfortunately Blaine was taking a sip of soda at that moment and scrunched his face at the burning sensation the soda caused when it went up his nose as he laughed. "Wow Kurt, if they're ever looking for a mean non-British judge on a reality show you should totally go out for it."

"Mm…it's good to have career options."

=^..^=

Halloween arrived the week after the incident with the car. They had been invited to Heidi Klum's annual party the weekend before Halloween, but Kurt had begged off, saying he was in even less of a party mood than usual. He and Blaine had spent the evening watching Bringing Up Baby and A Philadelphia Story instead as Blaine tried to convince him that Katherine was the superior Hepburn (Kurt had refused to budge in his complete and utter devotion to Audrey, but had reluctantly conceded that Katherine might have been the better actress, which Blaine counted as a win).

Halloween morning dawned sunny and just crisp enough to remind everyone that the calendar would be switching over to November the next day. Kurt had the day off, but they had no plans other than to hibernate with the best of Johnny Depp's costume spectaculars (they had agreed on Edward Scissorhands, but Blaine was pushing for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, while Kurt's vote was for Alice in Wonderland). Blaine knew that Kurt was feeling a little melancholy about the holiday that year. He had mentioned earlier that when he was growing up in Lima one of his favorite things to do had been to hand out candy and see all of the costumes that the kids wore. There hadn't been trick-or-treaters in New York, of course, but now that he was in a house, Kurt admitted to feeling a little bit of nostalgia for those days.

Blaine was trying to think of a way he could make Kurt's Halloween at least a little bit like it had been in his childhood. They couldn't open the gate to trick-or-treaters though, and even if they did there probably wouldn't be any anyways given the neighborhood, but there had to be something else they could do. He was browsing the internet, looking for some ideas, when a Facebook entry caught his eye. A former co-worker who had recently retired to Long Beach had posted that his neighborhood was having a Halloween block party and that people should stop by if they were able. Blaine made a split second decision and did a quick search for costume shops that would be able to deliver something on such short notice.

Kurt was in his room Skyping with Bev, who was in New York with another client, so Blaine picked up his phone and made a quick call to see what costumes might still be available. The options were limited though, given that he needed costumes that would cover their faces and were even remotely something that Kurt would be willing to wear. He did the best he could and agreed to a delivery time.

Two hours later the costumes arrived and Blaine set the box containing Kurt's on his bed while Kurt finished up his shower after a late afternoon workout.

"Was that someone at the gate? Did someone stop by?" A puff of shampoo and skin cream scented air preceded Kurt into the living room a little while later.

"I have a surprise for you and I hope it's a good one. I found us something to do tonight and I ordered costumes. I don't quite have the connections you do, so I'm afraid I had to make due with normal costume shop choices. Yours is in your room already."

Kurt looked intrigued, if a little wary, as he headed back to his room and Blaine waited for his reaction.

"Blaine, is this some kind of joke?" Kurt voice filtered down the hallway.

"Umm…no?" Blaine called back, cringing a bit at Kurt's (totally expected) reaction.

Kurt came out carrying a large wad of green fabric. "Please tell me this isn't what I think it is."

Blaine grinned innocently and cocked his head. "That depends. Do you think it's a Gumby costume?"

"Yes."

"Then it is what you think it is."

"Blaine."

"Hey, look on the bright side. It's guaranteed that no one will recognize you. And, at least I kept the Pokey costume for myself." He reached into the box at his feet and held up an orange costume complete with horse's head. Kurt gaped at him, looking from the costume in his hands to the one in Blaine's. With every passing second that went without a response Blaine became less and less confident in his plan. He was just about to apologize for the stupid idea and agree to watch Alice in Wonderland in penance, when Kurt gave the biggest sigh known to man and turned towards his room.

"I hope you appreciate the momentous nature of my agreeing to this. Also," he looked back over his shoulder with narrowed his eyes, "there will be no photos and none of my friends had better ever hear about his or I'll pour out all your hair gel." He reached his room, but Blaine could still hear his good-natured (or at least Blaine hoped it was good-natured) complaining. "Gumby. He lives in a city of movie studios and hundreds of professional costume shops and he wants me to dress up as Gumby."

Two hours later they arrived in Long Beach and found a place to park not far from the block party. They would have gotten there sooner, but Blaine had spent an extra 20 minutes driving a strange and circuitous route to make sure that they weren't followed (Kurt had felt it necessary to sing the Pink Panther theme when he realized what Blaine was doing). After Kurt's car had been vandalized, Blaine had rented a new one for them to use when Bill wasn't driving them. Since the stalker now knew what kind of car Kurt owned they had decided it was best to switch things up, as least for the short term. Another plus was that the new car had tinted windows that were just dark enough that it would be hard for anyone outside the car to recognize either one of them.

They each donned their costume heads before exiting the car and made their way down the sidewalk towards the sounds of The Monster Mash, awkwardly bumping into each other several times as they got the hang of walking in their cumbersome outfits. The party was in full swing by the time they arrived, with tiny princesses, superheroes, monsters, and other assorted creatures wandering in and out of various booths that had been set up in a neighborhood park.

Most of the adults were in costume too, so no one looked twice as Kurt and Blaine melted into the crowd. They participated in a cake-walk set to The Addams Family theme song and Kurt won a dozen cupcakes decorated with little tombstones and bats for being the last person with a chair. They grabbed a couple of cakes to nibble on and set the others in the area set aside for storing prizes until people were ready to leave. They ate homemade candy corn and little corndogs shaped like fingers and a green punch that was being billed as 'Witches' Brew' while carefully tucked behind a tree where no one would see their faces. After eating they got roped into manning the Fish Tank booth and Kurt helped the little kids throw a fishing line over a cardboard wall while Blaine waited on the other side to attach a prize to the end of the string. Kurt was keeping his voice pitched slightly lower than his normal distinctive speaking voice, but Blaine could still hear his amusement as he celebrated with each child as they unhooked their cheap carnival-style prize from the line. As Kurt laughed with one child who was particularly excited about the doll he had received, Blaine had the sudden thought that there wasn't much he wouldn't do in order to keep Kurt feeling that happy.

After their shift at the Fish Tank was finished they watched a group of grade schoolers do a not half-bad version of the Thriller dance before moving off and bidding fast and furious on various items in an auction of baked goods that was going to help pay for some playground equipment to be added to the park. The auction ended and Kurt was still basking in his triumph over Spongebob Squarepants and Abraham Lincoln in the bidding on a particularly appetizing looking apple pie when the speakers roared to life announcing that the dancing was about to begin.

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and pulled him towards the other couples who were already lining up and Blaine was again slightly surprised at the enthusiasm Kurt was showing. He didn't know if it was the fact that they were anonymous or just that they were at a fun casual party with no expectations on either one of them, but Kurt didn't seem weighed down by the weariness that had seemed to fall on him when they had attended other parties.

The music started up and Blaine laughed when he recognized it as Ghostbusters. Gumby and Pokey weren't perhaps the most graceful costumes for dancing, but he and Kurt made it work. Kurt shimmied his way through The Purple People Eater and they both butchered the arms movements for The Chicken Dance and they laughed so hard that they probably wouldn't need to do any ab exercises for a month. Finally a slow song came on and Blaine gathered Kurt in his stumpy horsy arms. He sighed and looked out over the thinning crowd, happy that he had seen his friend's post about the party.

Blaine hadn't celebrated Halloween in years, not since Cooper, who had always made sure Blaine had a costume and who had taken him trick-or-treating, had left home. His parents had never made any effort for the holiday, so he had never been to a Halloween party, except the ones thrown at school, but no party could have been as good as this one, even with him dressed up like an orange pony next to a green…well, whatever it was that Gumby was. "So was this Halloween as good as the ones back in Lima?"

Kurt reached up a hand to adjust Gumby's head, which had been listing a bit to the right. "Better. I don't remember the last time I had so much fun. I've never had a friend I could be so…goofy with. Even my closest friendships are based on a foundation of competitiveness that doesn't really allow for such spontaneity."

"Then we'll just have to do more things like this. How do you feel about miniature golf?"

Kurt shook his head sadly, the top of his Gumby head shaking a little at the movement. "I'm not sure our budding friendship could withstand your inevitable devastation when I win."

"Oh, a miniature golf champion, are you?"

"I'm more interested in the decorations, to be honest, but I'm nothing if not competitive." Kurt put a little pressure on Blaine's shoulder to move him out of the way of a mummy and a koala bear who were dancing a little bit too enthusiastically. "You know, when you were first hired I thought this whole thing sounded like something out a movie — which of course made me Whitney Houston, but I'd prefer to recast you as someone other than Kevin Costner, 'cause I kinda hate that guy — but I think it wasn't until this moment that I realized how far from a movie my life really is."

"Why this moment?" Blaine asked.

"Because I'm in a field, dancing to Don't Fear the Reaper, dressed as Gumby. I couldn't get further away from a cinematic moment if I tried."

"Oh, I don't know about that. I can see this as a movie. It's kind of romantic, actually."

There was no response from under the Gumby head and Blaine was a little frustrated that he couldn't see Kurt's expression, but he let it go and spun Kurt into a tight circle, determined to make the most of the rest of the party.