July 12, 2012, 3:44 p.m.
All I Ever Wanted: Chapter 11
T - Words: 4,656 - Last Updated: Jul 12, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 19/19 - Created: Apr 05, 2012 - Updated: Jul 12, 2012 1,190 0 0 0 0
"Kuuuurt. Wake up, Kuuuurt. Time to wake up."
Blaine sat on the bed in Kurt's room, calling towards the samovar sitting on the nightstand. Blaine felt kind of ridiculous talking to an inanimate object, but how else was one supposed to wake up a sleeping genie? Would knocking on the glass be rude and too loud for the inhabitant? Like knocking on the glass of an enclosure at the zoo? Oh god, did he just compare Kurt to a zoo animal? But how else was he going to get Kurt's attention? He reached over tentatively with one finger and rubbed the samovar, hoping it would call the genie forth, like in the movies. No dice.
"Kuuuurt," he called a little bit louder, "It's a beautiful day and you don't want to waste it sleeping. I have plans. Fun plans. Plans you don't want to miss. We are going to—"
"Blaine, why are talking to an empty room?"
Blaine looked up to see Kurt standing in the doorway with an amused look on his face. "Oh! It's so early that I thought you were still asleep and I was trying to figure out how to wake you up."
"Hmm, I see. Well, I'm actually not sleeping in the samovar anymore. I got tired of making my bed look slept in each morning for the housekeeper and there really isn't a reason for me not to sleep out here like a real boy, so yeah, no more samovar for me. And for future reference, if I am in there all you have to do is touch it to get my attention."
"Good to know," Blaine gave a little self-deprecating laugh and rose from the bed to join Kurt at the door. "I was trying to wake you up because I have big plans for the day. If you aren't already occupied I was hoping you would join me for a day of fun and adventure in the city."
His suggestion was met with a squeal of excitement from Kurt, who right away began deciding on the perfect outfit for their excursion. It was unseasonably warm for Chicago in mid-February, but it was still chilly, so he decided on a shirt, tie, and cardigan all in the same dark olive green color, tight black jeans, knee length black boots and a warm, but still stylish, black winter coat. Finished off with gloves, hat, and scarf it was the perfect outfit for an outing.
When Blaine would have left the room to go change Kurt held him back, holding up a finger and quirking an eyebrow. "Allow me." Within seconds Blaine was newly clothed in a soft red and white striped sweater, navy pants and a beautiful red coat with frog style closures. Kurt gave him a critical look before adding a navy and white patterned scarf to the ensemble. "There! You are now the first of your friends to wear a Kurt Hummel original."
Blaine eyed himself in the mirror, very satisfied with how he looked, though he privately thought it might look a little better with a bowtie.
Just as they were about to walk out the front door Kurt held Blaine back once again and took a quick glance around the entryway before making one last adjustment. Blaine felt his curls spring free as most of his hair gel disappeared, leaving just enough to tame his wild broccoli style hair into something presentable. Kurt gave a satisfied sigh and grabbed Blaine's hand to pull him through the door. Out in the driveway, Sam was waiting with the town car, dressed for his role as chauffer. Within minutes, Sam had dropped them off in front of Blaine's favorite breakfast spot and they were soon tucking themselves into a stack of pancakes.
"OK, now that I have some coffee in me and can think clearly, tell me what the plan is for today," Kurt smiled, pushing his empty plate away.
"The theme of today's adventure is 'Be a tourist in your own hometown'. I was thinking about how we really haven't gone out much, so you haven't really seen anything of Chicago and it's been so long since I've done any of the typical tourist stuff here. Later we will see the 'real' Chicago and I'll take you to my favorite secret spots, but for today we're going to do Tourist's Chicago 101."
"Excellent. Where to first?"
"I think we need to start our tour of Chicago with the best view in Chicago. I hope you're not afraid of heights."
"Can I change my answer to your earlier question? Because this experience might be activating a fear of heights that I didn't know I had." Kurt looked through the clear glass beneath his feet all the way down to Wacker Drive, some 1,300 feet below.
"Ah come on, Kurt. You could probably put an elephant in these retractable balconies and they would still remain in place. Well, not an elephant, I'm sure, but you know what I mean. These things are perfectly safe."
"Try telling that to my brain. It took everything I had just to convince myself to take that final step out onto the glass. I think I prefer my flooring with a little more opacity than this. Sorry, I know I'm being ridiculous. "
"I find your irrational fear adorable. Come on, let's go in and take in the view of the city from the nice, boring non-see through floor."
The men made their way out of the glass balcony back into the main section of the Skydeck on the 103rd floor of the Willis Tower and walked over to the opposite side to take in the view of the city with Lake Michigan in the background.
"This became the tallest building in the world in 1973, though it was known as the Sears Tower then." Blaine reported, standing slightly behind Kurt at the window. "Chicago is famous for its architecture, so this is a great spot to get a birds-eye-view of the different buildings." He was pushed a little closer to Kurt as the crowd moved and took the opportunity to lean in and reach an arm around Kurt's body to point out sites as he talked about them. After he had finished his crash course in Chicago architecture they just stood for a while, taking in the sights.
"In the 1950s the tallest building in the world was the Empire State Building. It seemed impossible that anyone would ever build anything taller," Kurt said, looking a little sad at the thought. "Look at how things have changed. Everything moves on, whether we are here to see it or not."
"Hey, none of that. Only happy thoughts today. Come on, I know the perfect place for the next stop on our tourist extravaganza."
They made their way down to the lake front and the Shed Aquarium, where they arrived just in time to grab seats for the dolphin show. Kurt's reaction to the performance was more than Blaine could have hoped for. Kurt sat in amazement as the mammals performed their trained behaviors, jumping and spinning and soaring across the water. He didn't take his eyes off them for a second, as mesmerized by their routine as Blaine was by Kurt himself. When the show finally ended, he stood up to applaud, wiping tears from his eyes.
"I have never seen anything like that. Did you see the relationship that those animals have with their trainers? I can't believe…I just…that was beautiful."
Right then and there Blaine made plans to contact the aquarium managers to see what he would have to do in order to get Kurt a day with the dolphins and their trainers. If they didn't have a trainer-for-a-day program already set up then he would find another way. He was sure the facility wouldn't turn down a new Anderson Worldwide sponsored exhibit in exchange for a little one-on-one time with the animals.
Their whirlwind tour of the city continued with a walk along the lake shore until they cut up to enter Millennium Park. There they viewed the various pieces of public art, laughing at the faces on the giant video screen wall and looking up at their reflections in the shiny bean shaped 'Cloud Gate' sculpture. In one corner of the park, a dedicated street musician was braving the cold weather to entertain the crowd, somehow playing the guitar without freezing his fingers off. The men stopped to listen for a few minutes and Blaine somehow found himself standing next to the musician, performing a duet of 'This Friday Night'. Caught up in the moment, he jumped up onto a nearby park bench to belt out a few lines. From his perch he glanced over at Kurt on the edge of the crowd, who was looking at him with an expression that could only be called appalled amusement. When he caught Kurt's eye, the other man just shook his head and mouthed "What is wrong with you?"
Blaine just laughed and finished up the song with a flourish, bowing deeply at the applause and dropping a $20 bill in the musician's guitar case. He headed back over to Kurt and linked their arms together. "Come on, you know you loved it."
Kurt was able to keep the disapproving look on his face for only a few seconds before he lost the battle and gave a big toothy smile. "I admit nothing. Now, I must insist that you feed me and in keeping with our tourist theme it must be delicious, but completely without any nutritional value."
"I know just the place."
Within minutes they were settled into a dark booth in the back of one of Blaine's favorite restaurants and were soon enjoying some traditional Chicago deep dish pizza.
"What do you want to do next? We can go over to the Magnificent Mile and do some shopping if you like?" Blaine asked just before taking a bite of pizza.
"Hmm, tempting, but I'd rather just keep seeing the sites. Besides, I think I want to save all of the designer stores for our trip to New York."
Blaine's heart skipped a beat when, in the middle of talking, Kurt reached over to wipe a bit of sauce from the corner of Blaine's mouth. "O..OK," Blaine stuttered, "More sightseeing it is."
They finished their meal, bundled up, and headed back out onto the street, this time on a mission to study the city's famous architecture. They wandered the streets for hours as Blaine gave a running commentary on the buildings and the history of the city. Blaine felt as if he was seeing his city with new eyes and it was all due to Kurt. All day long, Kurt had approached their adventures with an almost child-like excitement, soaking up all that he observed around him like a sponge. As the day wound down Blaine was hard pressed to remember a day that he had enjoyed more and hoped that his plans for the evening proved to be just as enjoyable. He had made reservations at a small French restaurant, so they walked in that general direction, reaching it just in time for their seating. As they crossed the street towards the restaurant, Kurt reached an arm around Blaine's waist to pull him out of the way of a car that was taking the corner illegally. It was the first time that he could remember Kurt initiating physical contact with him other than holding hands and he smiled to himself as he held the shop door open for Kurt to walk through. Yes, it was a good day.
After dinner Blaine had one more surprise up his sleeve. He directed Kurt towards a brownstone building with a small sign out front that would only be noticed by those who already knew it was there. They headed down the steps to the lower level and stepped through the door into a club that was filled with the most glorious jazz music. They took their seats at a reserved table off to the side of the small seating area and applauded enthusiastically when the band finished their set. After a few minutes new musicians took the stage, this time playing some slinky R&B music and Blaine watched with interested as a singer joined them. Mercedes Jones was one of the hottest acts in town and she was the reason that he had selected this particular club. He had heard great things about her, but hadn't yet had the chance to hear her in person. As soon as she opened her mouth, his jaw hit the table in astonishment and a quick look over at Kurt showed that he wasn't alone in his reaction. She was amazing and was putting so much emotion into her song that everyone in the room believed every word about heartache and loss.
After several songs, Mercedes left the stage for a short break. Blaine felt eyes on him and he turned his head to find Kurt staring at him with a contemplative expression.
"You don't talk much about being a musician," Kurt murmured, leaning forward a little to be heard over the instrumental music. "Do you mind talking about it?"
"Of course not, what do you want to know?"
"Do you miss it?"
"It was really hard at first, but it's gotten easier. I honestly don't think about it that much anymore. This —my being in Chicago and at the company— is what my mom needs right now, it's where I need to be. Maybe someday I'll return to it, but for now I'm OK with where I am and what I am doing. I really am."
"OK, but just so you know, just because you're a big time business man now doesn't mean that you can't also perform. There's no rule that you can't do both. And if there's anyone that could make it work, it'd be you."
Blaine was prevented from responding by the reappearance of Mercedes on the stage, but Kurt's words stuck with him. Do both? He hadn't really considered that. He always thought of music and business as two separate paths his life could take, but what if that wasn't the case? What would such a dual life even look like and would he even want it? He pushed the idea to the back of his mind — this night was about having fun and spending some quality time with Kurt, not re-evaluating the direction his life was going in. He sat back in his chair and returned his attention to the songstress serenading them from the stage. Boy that woman had some pipes on her. Maybe he should give a call to some of his music industry contacts back in New York and suggest to them that they might want to do some talent scouting in Chicago soon.
Kurt and Blaine stayed at the club until closing time, then grabbed a taxi back home where they arrived to find all of the lights off and the house quiet. They slipped off their winter things and tip-toed up to the second floor, careful not to disturb Rachel or Helen. Once they got to their bedrooms the day turned awkward for the first time and they stood there for a moment, neither one sure of how to end the evening.
Finally, Blaine broke the awkward silence. "Thanks for indulging me today, Kurt. I hope you had a good time."
"It was great, even taking into account the unfortunate reaffirmation of your poor taste in pop music and your strange proclivity for jumping on furniture."
"Well, I'm short, so I think it's just natural that I want to be up high sometimes," Blaine pouted.
Kurt laughed and opened his door. "Goodnight. We'll have to do it again when the weather gets warmer. I really want to take one of those river and lake cruises."
"Absolutely! It's a date."
The door closed behind Kurt, leaving Blaine alone in the hallway, his own words echoing in his ears. A date. Had today been a date? It had felt like one, but he wasn't interested in Kurt like that, was he? He turned to his room contemplating this sudden turn of events. A date. Huh.
The next morning Kurt awoke early again and couldn't get back to sleep. His mind kept churning over the events of the previous day, analyzing each moment. He had gone into the day very secure in his feelings and his place with Blaine. He was just a connection, nothing more. Maybe a very close one, one of the closest he had ever had, but still just a connection none-the-less. But after a night spent tossing and turning Kurt was forced to reevaluate that position. Was it possible that Blaine could be something more than just a connection? Were either one of them looking to take their relationship to another level? It was something that Kurt had never considered before in all of his years and he wasn't sure how he felt about it.
He squirmed in his bed in discomfort, as if the thoughts were an itch he could scratch away. No, he was not going to think about this anymore. Blaine was his friend and had given no real indication that he wanted more, so there was no reason to pursue this line of thinking. He got out of bed, dressed and slipped down the stairs. If sleep wasn't going to happen then he knew just the way to pass the morning. He headed down to the lower level and was just outside the theater door when he heard music coming from inside. Obviously he was not the only one who found musicals a perfect distraction from insomnia.
He entered the room quietly, closing the door behind him and using one hand to pull the heavy black-out curtain aside several inches. On the screen a woman in an orange dress was singing a song from the deck of a tug boat passing the Statue of Liberty. He was captivated by the sound of the woman's voice and knew that this was another movie he needed to add to his viewing list. He was so enthralled by the music that a noise from the plush seats caught him off guard. He looked in the direction of the sound and saw Rachel, huddled beneath a fluffy blanket, sobbing her heart out. At first Kurt thought she was overcome by the power of the music, like he had been earlier with Moulin Rouge, but as he continued to watch her he saw that what he was seeing was true heartbreak. He paused for a minute, unsure of what he should do. Should he get Blaine? Helen? Leave her in peace? Finally he made up his mind, slipped through the curtain and made his way down to the seats. "May I join you?"
Rachel looked up at him, startled out of her crying jag at his sudden appearance. She sat up a bit straighter and surreptitiously wiped the tears from her face. "Of course, please." They sat silently for a few minutes, watching the film until Rachel finally felt ready to speak. "Funny Girl," she offered, pointing to the screen, "Perhaps the best perfomance of Barbra Streisand, the greatest musical star there ever was and ever will be." She reached over to the table next to her and used the remote control to turn down the volume of the movie. "I've seen this movie so many times that I can recite it for you line-for-line. I could dance every dance for you, sing every song. I feel as if someone wrote down what my life is supposed to be and put it up there on the big screen for everyone to see, but I'm stuck sitting in the audience, watching it pass me by." She swiveled a bit in her chair, turning to face Kurt, her face filled with yearning and despair. "Kurt, can I tell you a secret? Do you promise not to tell Helen or Blaine?"
"Yes, I promise."
"That up there," she whispered, "It's what I'm meant to do with my life, my destiny. Broadway, musicals, the theater…I want it all so much, sometimes I think I might die from the pain of never having it." She paused, collecting her thoughts. "When my parents split up and decided that they couldn't really be bothered with me anymore I was so afraid of what was going to happen to me. I imagined all sorts of bad things, like the orphanage from Annie or the workhouse from Oliver! and then suddenly there was Helen and William, willing to open their home to me, share their son with me. Love me. I made a promise to myself then that I would do whatever I could to make them happy and make sure they never regretted it. I performed a lot in school and they came to every single performance. They were always my number one fans, but I could tell that they didn't really understand how much it all meant to me, how much of my soul was tied up in it. I knew they had different hopes for me, different plans. I was working on getting up the courage to tell them when the accident happened and suddenly William was gone and Helen needed me so much more than before. So I pushed the need to perform away and promised myself I'd be what Helen wanted. And then there was Finn. I had known him for years, but after the accident we became closer and Helen was so happy. I love him, I do, but I see what my life is going to be now and it's committees and luncheons and performing only at charity functions and I just…. You know, we have almost every musical ever put on film here in our library and I can seldom bring myself to watch them anymore? It just hurts too much." Rachel broke down sobbing again, curling up over the arm of the chair with her face buried in her arms.
Kurt let her cry for a few minutes, waiting until her sobs retreated to sniffles and hiccups. "I've only recently been introduced to musicals, but I definitely know what you're talking about. I watch them, listen to the music and wonder how it is they know my innermost thoughts, my deepest desires. Don't get me wrong, I like straight plays too, but there's just something so honest about an emotion set to song. An entire play can be spent trying to uncover the truth that's communicated in only 4 minutes in a song. I know musicals are cheesy and overly dramatic, but then I guess so am I." Rachel looked up at him through her tear soaked lashes, amazed that someone seemed to understand. "If performing is really what you want, you can't let anyone keep you from it. Talent is a horrible thing to waste. It's a gift that many people can only wish for and if you have it naturally then you should do all you can to make your dreams come true. It's your life, Rachel, and you are the one who has to live it. Not anyone else."
Rachel gave him a tentative smile, as if she was a little shocked that he would express such belief in her. He turned his attention back to the screen to give her time to absorb what he had said and they sat in surprisingly companionable silence for the rest of the movie.
Just as the end credits began, Rachel's phone vibrated and she looked down to read the new text message with a sigh. "My dress for the opera cocktail party has been delivered. Would you…do you have time to come see it?"
"Rachel, you don't know me that well yet, but one of the things you'll learn about me is that I always have time for fashion," Kurt replied with an impish grin. He unfolded himself from the comfy chair and reached out a hand to pull her from the nest of blankets she'd made for herself.
By the time they got to Rachel's bedroom suite, the dress was already hanging in her closet. She pulled it from the dress bag and turned with a flourish. "Ta da!"
Kurt was rooted to the floor unable to tear his eyes away from the monstrosity of pink tulle and bows. It looked like a cross between a toddler's first ballet recital costume and overdressed wedding cake. "Oh dear god no. Rachel, please tell me you're joking about this. Or… is someone forcing you to wear it? Are you being blackmailed? Should I call Blaine? Or better yet, the police?"
Rachel looked out from behind the enormous dress with a hesitant worried look. "No, I chose this. I thought it looked sweet yet distinctive. You don't like it?"
"Rachel, there are no words to describe the level of loathing I hold for that dress. In fact, I refuse to even call it a dress, as that's an insult to all fashion designers everywhere." He reached out with two fingers to lift the dress from her hands and tossed it as quickly as he could onto a nearby chair. "Stay right here. I'll be right back." He swiftly made his way to his bedroom, where he picked up his sketch pad from his bedside table. Did he really want to show Rachel his designs? What if she didn't like them? Did he like her enough to open himself up like this? Suddenly an image of the pink 'dress' flashed through his mind once again. No, no matter how he felt about Rachel he couldn't let her go out in public wearing that. He owed it to the people of Chicago. He returned to her room clutching the sketch book and beckoned her over to the desk, where he showed her a few sketches of dresses and silhouettes that he knew would flatter her petite figure.
She oh'd and awed over the designs, proclaiming each one to be more beautiful than the last. When they reached the final sketch she traced it with a fingertip, lingering over the vintage style full skirt. "The party is in 5 days. I wish there was time for you to make me one of these dresses."
Kurt had promised Blaine that he would keep his conjuring down to a minimum around other people, but he knew the other man would understand. He loved Rachel and wanted the best for her. Besides… that pink tulle. "Actually, I have a few samples already made up that will fit you with some slight alterations. Tell me which one is your favorite and I'll see what I can do."
With a speed that indicated that she thought Kurt might change his mind, Rachel flipped back through the designs, stopping on a red dress covered in an intricate black scroll-work design. "I love this one. I would start a new trend in this dress. I'm sure all of the girls would envy me and try to dress like me. Please, please tell me that you have this one made up," she pleaded.
Kurt held up a finger to indicate she should wait and he returned to his room again. Once the door was closed, he concentrated on his bed and pictured the dress in a size that would fit the tiny girl. The air wavered for a moment then the scroll-work pattern began to appear, soon to be followed by the red. A second later he scooped up the finished garment and was on his way back to Rachel.
Her mouth dropped open as he presented her with the just-below-the-knee length dress. She rushed to his side, pulled the dress from his hands then ran into her huge walk-in closet to hold the dress up to her body in front of the full length mirror. "Perfect. It's perfect. I…" Her tear filled eyes met his in the mirror and her watery smile was the first real one he had seen from her since he arrived at the Anderson's house. "I'll need shoes and accessories and a new haircut and…"
Kurt was unable to hold back a giant smile and clapped his hand together happily. "Yay! Makeover!"