Christmas morning Kurt was so excited that he simply couldn't wait for Blaine to get up. He tiptoed into his room and crawled under his covers to snuggle close to him, one arm around him and a wet, warm kiss pressed to his cheeks.

"Mhm, morning -" Blaine mumbled and slipped his own arm around Kurt's waist so he could move closer to him and hide his face against Kurt's collarbone.

"Blaine... you can't be sleeping now. It's Christmas!" Kurt hissed at him and started kissing down his neck instead.

Blaine hazily opened his eyes and blinked a few times to get used to the light. Kurt had never been a big fan of Christmas, so he really didn't understand this sudden excitement. He stared at him with confusion and Kurt returned with an equally confused expression.

"Why are you suddenly all in the jolly good seasonal mood?" Blaine asked with squinted eyes, suspicious that there was something he had missed or forgot about.

"What? Can't I like Christmas?" Kurt retorted, mildly offended that his boyfriend apparently found him too uptight to enjoy the holidays that were meant for being in a good mood.

"That's not what I meant. You just usually say that Christmas is the time of the year where people pretend to care about each other and everyone suddenly thinks it's okay to be disgustingly touchy -" Blaine said.

Kurt frowned at him. He didn't care about all of that now. All he wanted was to spend Christmas with the boy he loved, but for some reason that boy had chose this exact morning to be cranky.

"So, Scrooge... are you trying to tell me I should go away?" Kurt asked with an exaggerated pouting and his best puppy-eyes. He wasn't planning on this moment being ruined; he had been excited to do this for weeks and it should be nothing less than perfect.

Blaine's eyes flew open. He took a firmer grip on Kurt's back and pulled him closer.

"No. I'm sorry. I'm just tired. You just come in here and are super energetic and I am not even awake yet. Don't go. Please, stay here and cuddle with me," mumbled he and kissed Kurt's jaw.

Kurt smiled to himself, ecstatic that Blaine apparently wasn't cranky but cuddly, which only made it all so much better.

"Here. I wanted to give you this in private. To, you know, be able to kiss you away from our parents," Kurt cooed and pressed an envelope into Blaine's hand.

That he definitely hadn't seen coming. Blaine backed a little away and stared from Kurt to the envelope and back again with a puzzled face. He turned it over a few times, but all there was to it was white paper and Kurt's artistic handwriting saying "Blaine" and a little heart on the front.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Open it," Kurt encouraged eagerly. His eyes were wide and bright. He was looking like he was about to explode from the tension.

"What is this?" Blaine asked and moved a little up the bed to rest against his mountain of pillows with the envelope still in hand. It was heavier thank just paper – maybe it was a card.

He turned it over a few more times like he expected the answer to suddenly have appeared on the outside. Then he shot Kurt a glance and was met by his blooming eagerness, so he ripped the paper open – and pulled out two plane tickets. Open dates from Ohio to New York and back again.

"Kurt – what... Why? What?" He stammered nervously, unsure what to make of it.

Kurt moved a little away, making sure he could look Blaine properly in the eyes for what he was about to explain.

"It's just... I'm going to New York in a few months, and I'm gonna miss you so much. It's gonna be awful. So I figured I would make sure you would come to visit me. I couldn't afford more than two tickets for now, but since it's your birthday soon I might be able to convince my dad to let me work a little for him so I can get you more."

He couldn't help fearing that Blaine would feel that he was crossing the line. That it was too much, or maybe that he was digging up stuff Blaine would rather have postponed until it was closer to becoming reality.

Blaine felt like his throat was tying up. His insides were bubbling and his heart was beating fast. He had his eyes glued to the paper in his hand and he needed to take a moment to keep his threatening tears inside.

But he couldn't hold back and moved closer to Kurt, his arms locking tightly around him and his nose nuzzled into his neck.

"Thank you. You really didn't have to do that. I – just, thank you."

He clutched tightly around the tickets while squeezing Kurt as close as he could before backing away and wiping tears from his eyes.

"Oh Blaine. Sweetie, I didn't mean to upset you," Kurt said, feeling bad that he had poked to this delicate issue when he really just wanted to make Blaine happy. It really was way too early to take up the subject of him going to New York while Blaine was still in high school back in Lima.

"No, it's not like that. I'm happy – happy that... my boyfriend loves me enough to want to make sure I will come visit him," he smiled, his voice thick and his nose cold.

"He does. So much -" Kurt assured him and put a kiss to his lips, but was quickly away again as Blaine scrambled out of the bed and fumbled around the top drawer of his dresser before returning to the bed and put a little, black box on Kurt's knee.

"Merry Christmas," Blaine said shyly and let his lips form a thin line as he watched Kurt's eyes go huge before he carefully picked up the box.

It wasn't wrapped. It was simple black and boring plastic. Blaine had planned to wrap it up in gold paper with stars and purple ribbon but he figured that since Kurt had already given him his present he might as well return the gesture.

"Oh my god. Blaine, are you serious? This looks so real," Kurt gasped out as he opened the box and saw its content.

It was a very rare brooch. Only five were made by the designer around the second world war and Kurt had swooned over it uncountable times. Natalie Wood had worn one of them once, so had Brooke Shields and Blaine was pretty sure Kurt had mentioned Audrey Hepburn wearing it once as well.

"Oh my god it's authentic! How did you get this? It must have cost you a fortune!" Kurt said awestruck, his voice high pitched and trance-like as he turned the accessory carefully over between his fingers.

It was a small golden watch with black flowers carved out to twirl down the frame. It was very feminine and romantic, but Blaine knew that on Kurt's outfits it would be perfectly androgynous in the way Kurt had flair for mixing feminine and masculine – it was perfect for him, and one of the things on the top of his list of items he would forever crave but never own. Like Michael Jackson's sequined blazer from the infamous Billie Jean performance on Motown 25 in 1983 or a tiara from a Russian czarina.

"I uhm – I honestly didn't pay for it. I had printed a picture of it, because you had showed it to me and you liked it so much, so I figured I would go see if I could find something similar. Then I was at the senior center to sing like always and the picture fell out of my pocket and Mrs. Nansen, you know the lady who always invites me for coffee, she saw it and invited me in as always where she asked me about the picture. So I told her I wanted to find something like it for my boyfriend, and as I was sitting there she suddenly left and when she came back she gave this to me. She said that she doesn't have any family, and I'm the only one who visits her, so she wanted me to give this to the person I love, the person that means the most to me – you. So here it is... one of the only five authentic pieces," Blaine told and hoped that Kurt would believe him, because he should be the first to admit that it sounded completely dumb and unrealistic for an old lady to give him that treasure just because he dropped by to sing, play cards and have coffee a couple of times a month.

"See. The little signature is there, and the serial number is there," Blaine smiled as he turned the watch over in Kurt's hand to show the engraved letters at the bottom of the backside, a little number 3 right under.

"Blaine, I... this is – surreal. It's so... I've been dreaming about this for years. Since I was eight. It must be worth thousands and thousands of dollars. Maybe even millions, depending on who wore it -" Kurt blabbered out and his voice cracked.

"It's beautiful. It's perfect. I can... I can never measure that. I love it," Kurt whispered and clenched the brooch to his chest and sniffed.

It truly was a dream. It had to be. How could it not? Kurt felt like his heart had been filled with love but now it was splashing everywhere because his heart just wasn't big enough to contain all of it.

"I would come visit you anyway, you know that right?" Blaine asked as they slipped back down on the pillows with kisses and and smiles shared.

"I know. I just thought that... I would show you how much I want you to. And I want you to focus on your school instead of working so you can come out to be with me much quicker," Kurt smiled and kissed the tip of his nose.

They melted into each others arms and stayed there for half an hour while kissing and assuring each other of their love, but in the end they knew they had to get up and be social with the family, regardless of how little they felt like letting go of one another.

xXx

It was dark in the room and the wind was howling outside his window. He knew that it was snowing and he was happy that there still was a few days left before they had to get back to school.

Blaine couldn't fall asleep. He was tired. A lot. The Hummel-Anderson's had been to Breadstix for dinner and Kurt had asked Blaine if he wanted to walk home with him instead of driving with their parents.

The walk was long and cold, but they snuck their hands together since they were covered by the darkness and deserted sidewalks. Not that it really mattered, because they even held hands every now and then before they got together – they were best friends and step-brothers so that should be explanation enough if anyone should ask.

They hadn't talked much, but it hadn't been needed. They had simply enjoyed being able to be together outside the safe walls of their bedrooms and that was enough for them.

When they came home they had changed into their nightwear and joined their parents for a movie in the living room. It was hard not to snuggle up close together out of habit like they had gotten so used to, but they settled for stealing glances and crooking their fingers between their thighs.

And now it was in the middle of the night and all Blaine could think about was that in his desk drawer two tickets for New York were safely hidden – and the reason for that was that Kurt was moving. Away from him. A long way away from him.

Six months and Kurt would be gone.

If the thought it was hard now where he had to restrain himself from kissing or cuddling Kurt in front of their parents and friends he really wasn't in a hurry to find out how it would be when Kurt was thousands of miles away where they wouldn't have secret hours in their bedrooms after school and dinner to be together – and he wouldn't even be able to complain to anyone about all the things he was going to miss so much.

Like waking up next to Kurt when he didn't expect to, but Kurt had crawled into his bed over night or in the morning. Or the way Kurt tilted his head to smile at him when their eyes caught across a class room or the living room. Or like the feeling of Kurt's fingertips strolling down his arm, or the way his lips always felt so soft on his cheek and against his own lips. Or the way Kurt would giggle if their hands brushed when they were in a room filled with people... or the way Kurt's body was pressed against Blaine's when he had fallen asleep during a movie.

When they were watching movies in their rooms they turned off the lights, sometimes kept candles lit, and then they curled up around each other. Little by little Kurt would drift to sleep and Blaine didn't bother to wake him because he was so stressed because of school and preparing for NYADA audition, so he would simply squeeze his arms tighter around him and kiss his hair while letting him sleep.

As those sweet memories hit him Blaine realized that he had changed. He was more in love with Kurt than ever – Kurt was truly the best thing that had ever happened to him. None of that had changed, only grown stronger in time. What was changed was more of a strange feeling, a feeling about Blaine's perception of himself. To be honest he actually felt a bit embarrassed about it and had no intentions on bringing it up with Kurt, or anyone, ever.

Since that day where Blaine had accidentally caught a glimpse of Kurt in the shower he couldn't stop thinking about it. Okay, it wasn't like he thought about it all the time, but often enough to drive him insane. He couldn't stop thinking about it when Kurt was wearing super tight jeans or shirts, he couldn't stop thinking about it when Kurt had his body clasped against Blaine's when they cuddled or napped, or when they watched a movie and there was a sex scene or simply when they lay in bed at night and kissed and talked and was close enough to make the temperature rise, when he wanted to press his crotch against Kurt's just enough to feel it.

The image felt like it was burned into his mind; the toned muscles that made him look so strong even when he still looked so delicate and gentle, the clean skin and perfectly round pink nipples. The way his hands had slid around his body, long slender legs, tight ass and his big, thick shaft.

He had been so scared of the average male anatomy before – how was he ever supposed to make that fit inside him? Previously he had only ever seen himself having anal sex – that was the only true way for gay men, and he was sure that it wouldn't make a potential partner freak as much out as the alternative.

But then Kurt happened, and it was like things inside of him got stirred up and moved around. Whenever he thought about Kurt and the moment in the shower a burning aches washed up between his legs. Sometimes he even had to squeezed his knees and thighs hard together, but that would never be enough to make it go away. He had been turned on before, but not this way. Now he could feel himself go wet, and the way his sex was opening and closing, needing something to happen soon or he would go crazy.

But there was no way that it would ever happen. Kurt was gay and even though he never talked about it he had to have had some sort of sexual fantasizing, which clearly would involve the regular male package; something Blaine could never offer him. And it hadn't taken Blaine long time around gay online forums to find out that the female package was one of the creepiest, most disgusting and terrifying things other gay boys and men could think of in a sexual relation.

So he had told himself that he was never going to have sex. It probably wouldn't be too hard to find someone online who would be into it, or at least not care about it – but that didn't matter at all. He only wanted Kurt. And if he wasn't going to have sex with Kurt he wasn't going to have sex with anyone. Kurt was so put up with his no-hands-below-waist policy anyway, and as hard as it was for Blaine to not touch Kurt everywhere it was a comfort to know that Kurt wouldn't find out about him on accident.

But just because he was going to be a virgin for the rest of his life it didn't mean that he couldn't pleasure himself. After the burning need had showed how determined it was he had found himself one night fantasizing about Kurt and how he would feel – and suddenly Blaine's hand was on his underwear, cupping himself over the cotton that had turned damp. He had rubbed his hand up and down and before he knew it his eyes squeezed as hard as his knees and he was biting his lower lip to not scream Kurt's name in surprise and pleasure.

Yeah, he was definitely planning on exploring that.