It felt like a spotlight was pointed directly at his face, and the heat was unbearable. Blaine opened his eyes and remembered that he was on the roof, a blanket over him, Kurt sound asleep next to him.

His stomach was hurting, cramping and complaining, and his head was pounding and a nausea was creeping around in the back of his throat.

Birds were singing and the sun was baking down over them. Blaine had no idea what he was doing on the roof, and even less did he know why he was feeling so sick. This was the first time since he had come to Washington that he had missed his own room and his bed back in Ohio.

He realized that the collar of his shirt felt extremely tight and when he looked down his torso he found that his shirt was on backwards. Had he taken his shirt off last night?

Blaine moved to lie on his side to wake up Kurt, but as he did something felt off. The feeling of denim against the skin of his butt made him stop in the middle of the movement. He felt an unknown sense of freedom in his pants, when it hit him that he wasn't wearing any underwear.

What had happened on this roof?

"Kurt. Kurt. You need to wake up." Blaine pushed Kurt on the shoulder, and images of what had happened the night before started fighting each other for his attention.

"We need to let our souls entwine," Kurt whispered, his mouth so close that Blaine felt a sudden sting to move his head just that one inch and taste Kurt's lips.

Out of nowhere Kurt stood up and started stripping off his clothes. Blaine followed, standing staring at the boy slowly letting piece by piece of fabric fall to the blanket they were standing on.

Blaine had no idea what was going on, so he didn't act, he just stood frozen in the spot staring at Kurt's naked frame in front of him.

Kurt woke and turned to look at Blaine, looking confused, looking around to realize himself that they were on the roof.

"What happened? Why are we here? Ugh, I feel terrible. Like I got hit by a bus," Kurt whined, closing his eyes to avoid the bright light from the sun.

Kurt gestured for Blaine to take off his clothes too. Blaine was still in a haze, taking in every inch of Kurt's beautiful body, so it didn't take Kurt long to convince him that he needed to do it.

Blaine hurried to take off his shirt and pants, feeling the wind on his bare skin but not noticing as he was still completely hypnotized by Kurt's eyes.

Blaine looked away from Kurt as the rest of the images rushed back in over him. He had no idea what they had been doing. This was so strange.

Now they were both naked, and even though Blaine couldn't stop looking at Kurt's eyes, Kurt was letting his gaze run up and down Blaine's body, before he took a leap and defied the small distance between them.

Kurt let his arms up to embrace Blaine, dragging him close, and let his own palms softly stroke over Blaine's skin, making the well-known electricity return. Only this time it wasn't just in his skin, it spread to his muscles, nerves and veins, running with his blood cells to let the feeling of Kurt spread to every single cell and particle in his body.

Blaine was confused and didn't know why Kurt was doing this. All of his life he had been told that it was wrong for two boys to be close to each other like this. What was he doing?

It felt like it might as well just have been a distant dream, and yet the images were so vivid. Blaine wanted to ask Kurt if he remembered any of what had been going on that night, but he was afraid to. He couldn't ask another boy if they had been naked together, holding each other.

"Me too. I just wanna go find a bed somewhere. My head is exploding and everything is just…" Blaine couldn't say it. He couldn't mention that everything was confusing cause then he'd have to admit that he had memories of the previous night.

Blaine panicked and had no idea what to do. Kurt's skin was soft and tender against his own, and the thought that there wasn't anything at all separating them was comforting. But he shouldn't be feeling like that. Not with a boy. He should be disgusted, repulsed. At least feel that it was wrong.

That's when he remembered - it was okay. Kurt wasn't a boy, he was this perfect angel, a fairy that was there to protect him, and guide him, take care of him - so it was okay. This was the most perfect thing that could happen, and in that moment he understood what it was Kurt had said.

Blaine could feel that they weren't two people anymore. By standing there with their arms around each other, they were two bodies that had melted into one soul. They belonged together now, they would be tethered together forever. Nothing could tear them apart. Not even distance - or even death.

"Uhm, Blaine?" Kurt asked, dragging Blaine out of his flashback, his long eyelashes flickering from the sunlight.

"This is strange but - are you wearing any underwear? Mine is… gone," Kurt said a little awkwardly.

It was impossible for Blaine to figure out whether Kurt remembered too, or if he was completely blank as to their nightly adventure.

His lips were dry, and his throat was as sore as his eyes. He wanted to get up and hurry downstairs and find a dark room to sleep in. Sleep the day away. Sleep the pains of his body away. He felt like toxic was fighting around his body, struggling to find a way to leave his nervous system, and all he wanted was for it to get out.

"I - I think we threw our underwear off the roof -" Kurt exclaimed carefully, making Blaine remember them back to wearing clothes, standing at the wall surrounding the roof letting the white fabrics fall to the sidewalk in front of the building.

"There. Now it will never be able to separate us again," Blaine had said, smiling at Kurt, hoping for a glimpse of Jupiter in the blue.

"Why would anyone do that?" Blaine burst out, not knowing what else to say.

Blaine got to his feet and started walking towards the door. The sun was like fire burning into his pupils, and he couldn't wait to feel the comfortable darkness there would be inside.

This was getting too damn strange. At least Blaine was certain that they hadn't done anything else. He would have known - he would have felt it.

Right now he just needed to sleep properly, on something soft, hopefully make the pain of sleeping on the ground of the roof disappear.

"Let's just - I'm getting the fuck out of here. I'll go find somewhere to like… die or something," Blaine moaned as he felt his stomach roll over, a fear that he might vomit threatened the back of his throat.

Kurt groaned, but as Blaine's words hit him he slowly sat up. His movements not nearly as graceful as usual - he almost seems human, Blaine thought to himself.

"Will you wait for me? I just… I'm not sure I can walk down alone," Kurt whimpered, his eyes looked incredibly sad, like his entire world had just collapsed.

Blaine's stomach rolled over again, but this time it wasn't the downside of the drugs, this time it was a worry, a concern.

"Sure. Of course," Blaine scuffed, wanting to hurry to Kurt's side and help him up, but for some reason he froze on the spot, feeling it better to just wait for Kurt to take care of himself.

As soon as Kurt was on his feet Blaine opened the door and started the eternally long walk down the way too long stairs, Kurt behind him. Neither of them said a word.

The entire commune was fast asleep and Blaine was sure that it was the first time he experienced all of them sleeping at the same time. The silence was like a heavy blanket that Blaine's pounding head gladly embraced.

The boys carefully crossed the mattresses filled with sleeping teenagers wrapped around each other, snoring and breathing heavily.

Blaine dropped to the soft floor under him in the corner he and Kurt usually inhabited, his muscles aching too much for him to care about getting undressed, but the zipper of his jeans scratching against his dick reminded him that he needed to.

He didn't know why, but the thought of Kurt next to him made him feel a sudden rush of self-consciousness so he slipped under the blanket before taking off his jeans so he could get on the fresh underwear he had found in his bag.

He didn't take off his shirt, or turn it around. He didn't care. He just needed to sleep, to let the world disappear around him.

For the first time since he had got to know Kurt, he went to sleep with his back on him.

Blaine spent the rest of the day under the covers in the corner, his back on the entire world. He was afraid that if he turned around he would have to face Kurt, and he couldn't do that.

Images of Kurt's naked body kept running through his head. The secure feeling of Kurt's hand guiding him over a tightrope that wasn't really there, the fear when Kurt cried and said that he would die if Blaine didn't sing to him. The entire night came crashing in over him, objecting loudly whenever he tried to sleep.

Blaine wasn't sure whether it was the drugs leaving his body, or if it was the feeling of Kurt's naked skin left as a print against his own that made a fever rush up, but Blaine was sure that if he had ever had a hangover that he wanted to die from, that was pure water next to this.

The night was horrific. Blaine was starting to fear that he was getting the flu, and he had been drifting in and out of sleep. Dreams of dark with Kurt's dancing silhouette mesmerizing him, hypnotizing him, filling his sleep, making him wake up with dry mouth and wet eyes, unsure whether his shakings were caused by the dream or the fever.

When Blaine woke up he was curled into a ball holding himself under the blanket. His pillow was soaked in sweat, and his muscles felt like he had been running a marathon the previous day.

As he turned around he realized that the room was empty.

Blaine wanted to kick himself as he realized how relieved he was to find Kurt's spot empty. Like the pain of his body aches weren't enough, he also had to deal with the flood of thoughts of Kurt running through his brain once again.

"Shhh, don't move," a voice sounded through the room that Blaine found soothingly dark.

Before he could raise his head to see who the voice belonged to, Linda was over by his side, placing a cool washcloth on his forehead, before she sat down to let her fingers calming brush up and down his naked arm.

"You have a very strong fever. I think it's a virus. It started overnight. I woke up to go to the bathroom and you were whimpering and twisting and turning. Your face was burning," Linda explained quietly, Blaine was afraid his eyes were rolling in their sockets.

He wanted to say something. Ask how long she had been sitting with him. Where everybody was. If Gary would be angry at her for being here with him, with Blaine, instead of being out there with him.

Ask where Kurt was.

But he couldn't. His body was fighting his every move, and he knew that if he tried talking he would be punished. Luckily Linda knew him well enough to know what questions were pressing him. At least some of them.

"Jesus, Blainers. You look terrible. I've been sitting with you since last night. I couldn't just leave you like this. I know Gary is angry, but he's probably out there fucking Ginger somewhere - let him," Linda said, like she had been reading his mind, he hoped that she hadn't read the question to Kurt's whereabouts.

"Quinn is worried about you. She doesn't feel well herself, but she's asking how you are instead -"

Linda paused, as if she expected Blaine to say something, even though Blaine was well aware that she knew him well enough to know that he wasn't in a state of talking.

The washcloth was soothing against his forehead, and it almost felt like it might take the top of the cramping going on inside his head, wishing that he could wrap his entire body in the little piece of wet fabric.

Blaine was freezing, but at the same time he felt so unbelievably hot, and he had no idea if he should pull the blanket closer around him, or if he should just push it aside.

Linda slid down on the mattress to lie next to him so she could look him in the eyes, brushing the sweaty curls away from his face, as she found a comfortable spot.

On Kurt's spot. Where Kurt usually slept next to him.

Stop. Just stop thinking about that boy that way, Blaine forced himself to demand from his brain.

He knew that it was wrong. That he shouldn't think about a boy like this. But he couldn't help it. Kurt had a way of fighting his way into his thoughts, even in situations where he shouldn't even be there.

Blaine had always been of the view that people could love whoever they loved, but he was taught that it was wrong for two people of the same sex to be together. It was against The Bible, it was against God, and as much as Blaine didn't care whether people fell in love with boys or girls, he had never considered that he could maybe fall in love with a boy himself.

I am not in love with Kurt. That's ridiculous, Blaine thought to himself and shuddered.

"I miss you, Blainers. After we got out here, we don't see each other much anymore. You've been so busy running around with that Kurt boy that you seem to have forgotten that you had some friends before you met him."

Blaine felt a chill run down his spine by the sound of Kurt's name. Or was it just the fever causing that?

"No. Of course I haven't," Blaine squeezed out, his throat feeling like it had been brushed over with sandpaper.

"But as much as I miss you, I gotta say - there's something when you are with him. You're a completely different person. It's like you are more… you. I know it's lame. I can't explain it. I just like the way he makes you smile."

Linda's voice was different. Different from any way Blaine had ever heard her sound before. Why did she have to bring up Kurt? Right when Blaine just wanted to forget everything about him.

"He doesn't - make me smile," Blaine tried to argue, but the light cough in the middle of the sentence along with his weak voice made it sound like a pathetic attempt to make her sustain her statement.

She didn't answer. She just let her eyes stare into Blaine's as if she was searching for something, and Blaine knew that she could see that he was lying. She could always see through him.

"I called your mom," Linda suddenly said.

"I did it yesterday when you were sleeping all day. She's not feeling well. She said that she was getting better, but I don't think that's true. She told me to say hi, and say that you shouldn't worry."

Linda reached up her hand to turn over the washcloth, as if she knew that it was already warm and clammy.

"Thank you," was all Blaine could get out.

The rest of the day Linda stayed by his side, people every now and then dropping in to check on them, bringing Linda food and changing the washcloth so she didn't have to leave Blaine.

The next few days proceeded with the same process.

Linda by his side, people stopping by to sit with them for a while, Blaine drifting in and out of sleep with strange dreams that didn't make any sense, his body feeling like it was going to burn up. Even Gary dropped by, not sparing Blaine a word, but kissing Linda on the top of her head, and dropping off a fresh washcloth for Blaine.

As he was lying there twisting and turning in pain, the fever killing him slowly from the inside, and his body so exhausted that he didn't even have the energy to move, all he could think about was Kurt.

Where was Kurt? Why hadn't he shown at all? Where was he sleeping since he didn't come to sleep with the rest of them?

All of these thoughts were attacking each other, questions fighting for dominance of which was the most significant - and yet one question was echoing louder than the others in the back of Blaine's mind: If Kurt showed, would he even talk to him or look at him?