June 11, 2012, 6:19 a.m.
The Sound Of Silence: Consequences
E - Words: 4,671 - Last Updated: Jun 11, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 43/43 - Created: Jan 08, 2012 - Updated: Jun 11, 2012 290 0 1 0 1
The second they stepped into the Hummel house Kurt helped Blaine to sit on the couch. As soon as he was sure Blaine would be okay he hurried out of the living room without a word.
Blaine could hear blurred voices talking upset before Kurt quickly returned. As soon as he had talked Blaine into lying down he sat on the floor next to him. Not that Blaine saw any reason for him to lie down, but he wanted to please Kurt since he still seemed so shaken from the experience.
"I talked to Carole. She called my dad at the tire shop. He's coming home. After that she called Rachel to tell her that something has come up and that the dinner is canceled," he told softly and brushed a hand over Blaine's forehead.
His lower lip was quivering as he spoke and he was shaking on his hands as both of them ended in his lap. Blaine reached down to fold his one hand around both of Kurt's. He forced his eyes to stare into his to try calming him down, but he only looked like he was sure the entire thing was his fault.
"Stardust, I am so sorry about all of this. I shouldn't have walked in. Then he wouldn't have done this to you," Kurt sobbed and let his one hand rush to cover his mouth, strangling a wail. With his other he gently let a finger trace over Blaine's swollen lip as fat tears rolled down his porcelain skin.
"It's not your fault. Don't ever think that this could be your fault. He would have gone crazy no matter what, because I refuse to go. Besides; it was about time I told him who I am and - he should know that I love you. Now we can let everyone know that I love you," Blaine crooned and hoped that he sounded as comforting as he wanted to. He felt so damn guilty to have pulled Kurt, and his family, into this circus.
Carole came in and handed Blaine a bag of ice for his lip. His back was still aching, but it wasn't as bad now that he had got a chance to relax it a little bit. Carole handed him a few pillows before she stroke her hand over his hair and left them alone. Blaine appreciated her concern, but he also appreciated that she knew that they needed some time together by themselves before they had to face the consequences of this hell that had broken loose around them.
Kurt moved to sit against the sofa with Blaine's arm safely wrapped around his shoulder. They rested their foreheads against each other and Blaine became much calmer as he heard Kurt's sniffing slowly die out.
It felt like hours drifted by, but in reality they had only been waiting for 15 minutes when Burt stormed into the house. He slammed the door after him and his steps were strong and angry. Blaine wondered what Carole had said that could have made him that mad.
He marched through the hall and slammed the kitchen door so hard that the little glass frames shook, and they could hear Burt and Carole have a heated conversation. Blaine and Kurt didn't look at each other or even said a word. They clutched each other closer and waited for it to be over - or for someone to drag them into it.
After what felt like ages, but somehow still way too fast, both Burt and Carole entered the living room. It seemed like a dark cloud was hanging over their heads, and Blaine didn't like the feeling creeping under his skin from the sight.
Blaine forced himself to sit up and Kurt hurried to help him. Burt sat down in his usual chair, and Carole sat on the couch next to Blaine. Kurt crawled to sit next to Blaine, an arm locked strongly around his leg, and the other on his thigh so he could clench his hand.
"Kurt, you remember what we talked about a few weeks ago? I guess this is time now," Burt said, and all eyes rushed to Kurt. He looked up at Blaine who was silently begging for an explanation, but he merely squeezed his hand and looked back to his dad.
"Yes, dad. I remember it. I wrote it all down to make sure it would be ready if th… if something was to happen so we would need it," Kurt responded thickly and nodded in assurance. Blaine was confused and his head had started spinning in a mix of pain, fatigue and not knowing what was going on.
"Good. I knew you would have it all under control. I guess we need to wait a week or something so Blaine can get his stuff while his father is at work," Carole suggested and shot both of the boys a warm look.
Kurt sat up on his knees and bit his lower lip before he stared at Blaine. His eyes were wet and filled with a mix of fear and something Blaine could only detect as anticipation. If someone wasn't planning on telling him something about this plan soon he was sure that he would burst into flames from the frustration.
"Stardust, I… after the thing at your old school, when you left the next day - we sat down and talked about it. We discussed what could happen, what the consequences would be for you, for us, if it got out to the whole town, and by that to your dad. So we made a plan," Kurt started. He looked to his father who sent him an encouraging nod and Carole smiled at him.
Kurt shifted his weight a little. He took a deep breath and moved a little closer to Blaine who suddenly was very conscious about the fact that everyone in the room was looking at him. They were waiting to get his reaction to what was going on, and all he could think about was that he just wanted to scream until his voice disappeared and then curl up in the dark with Kurt close to him.
"Well, my dad took some money from the tire shop and put aside for us, and then we planned for us to… run away together. Puck know some people that we can stay with. In San Francisco. I will call him and he will get us in touch with them. We have a storage room in the basement, so when your dad is out for work we will go and get your stuff from your house. We can't take furniture and big stuff, but all your important stuff, so you won't have to leave that behind. And then we can go away, where we will be sure he won't find you. Baby, we've planned it all out, it's gonna be okay," Kurt assured him.
Blaine didn't know what to say. He had to close his eyes to gather his thoughts. It was all crashing in over him, and he felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Apparently Kurt had taken every precaution there was, even though he hadn't needed to do that - and his family had helped him.
He slowly fell back against the backrest and let Kurt's words sink in.
Money, Puck, San Francisco, storage room, important, his father, run away together - Kurt's words were echoing in his brain, and he imagined them to be a whirlpool of letters washing down the drain. This was really now or never.
There were only two options for him from this point on; run away with Kurt, or go back to his father's house so he could get into the army and become everything he detested…
…and have Kurt stop loving him.
"I have money too. I've been saving up since I started working at the store, and I already had a little savings. It's not much - but if we can only get out there on what we have, then we can get jobs when we get there. Let's do this," Blaine exclaimed in a voice stronger than he had thought it would ever be again.
Kurt beamed at him with eyes radiating like suns, and Blaine wished that they had been alone so he could drag him into a kiss and embrace. Instead he squeezed Kurt's hand as hard as he could and looked to Burt and Carole.
"Don't worry about anything. You can stay here until we are sure that you don't have anything important left at your dad's house. You can stay here as long as you like, but for what we hear about your dad it will probably be for the best if you get going as soon as possible," Carole said and tilted her head to look at Blaine and Kurt entangled in each other.
After lunch Kurt called Puck and told him that there was an emergency so of course Puck hurried over instantly. When he walked in and saw the state Blaine was in he blew up. He was sure that someone had found out about their relationship and attacked them.
Kurt got him to listen and explained the deal which only made him even more angry. He started booming about getting Finn at Rachel's house so they could go beat Blaine's father up. To Blaine's surprise Kurt didn't as much as raise an eyebrow at the suggestion. He merely sniffed and rested his head on his arm that was lying on his knees.
"I don't care. I just don't want him to ever hurt Blaine again," Kurt muttered and sighed deeply.
The day was spent on them discussing how they would make it all work when they were to actually leave. Blaine was impressed at how detailed their planning was, and when Kurt got a notepad from his room his jaw dropped. They had spent a long time checking up on how they could go by bus from Lima to New York, and from there they had checked if it would be easiest to go by train or bus further on.
Kurt's notes were complete with bus and train numbers, names of stations, time of leaving and arrival and even names of places they could go sleep if they would need it.
Blaine was astounded and he had no idea how he could ever begin to word his gratitude of so many people going to these measures to keep him safe. In that second he promised himself that no matter what ever was about to happen he would cut down every person that would stand in his way to make Kurt happy, to keep him safe, to make sure that he would always have what he needed - he had already decided that, but now he was determined to do whatever it would take. Anything.
As it got late Puck headed home, and Kurt went to the hall to say goodbye to him. Blaine could hear him breaking down in a sob. He wanted to go out there, to comfort him and assure him that everything would work out, but he didn't. He wasn't invited for this, and he guessed that Kurt would need some distance to let the events of the day fall into place.
When he returned to the living room he had dried his eyes, and tried covering up as good as possible that he had been crying, and it broke Blaine's heart. They collected their stuff and went to Kurt's room to get ready for bed.
As soon as they were lying down Kurt curled carefully up against Blaine, clearly afraid to hurt him in any way, so Blaine turned on his side and pulled him as close as possible. His back was still hurting, but he needed Kurt to be close to him, he had to feel him, and he couldn't let anything as stupid as air, or sheets, or back pains separate them.
"We're doing this now. In a week or so we will be on our way away from here. And now - we don't have to hide anymore. It will work out now," Blaine smiled weakly at him through the dark. He brushed his nose against Kurt's cheek and felt his skin radiate its warmth to his face.
Suddenly something Blaine hadn't even considered hit him strongly. He felt sick with himself and like the worst person in the world for having overlooked that detail, and now he needed to do something about it.
If we run away together, this will mean that Kurt won't know when he will see his family again. For me.
Blaine swallowed and moved a little away from Kurt to make sure he could see his face. This was important to how their future would look, and as much as he didn't want to do it, it was the only right thing for him to do.
"Kurt. If you don't want to leave your family I understand. Then you shouldn't. I can go away alone. I would hate to leave without you, but I could never ask you to leave your family like that. Please believe me when I say that I would never ask you to do that. It will be okay, we will figure something out if you'd rather stay," Blaine said weakly, and felt his voice threatening to break.
What? What would they ever be able to figure out if Kurt didn't go with him? Then it would very possibly mean that they would never see each other again. They would possibly promise each other to make it work, but then they would talk on the phone and write each other letters, but it would slowly die out because they wouldn't be able to hold, feel, kiss and see each other. It would be too hard.
Blaine expected Kurt to turn it over in his head. To think it over, and probably say that he needed to think about it, to have some time to really consider what to do, but he didn't.
"I don't want to leave my family," he said without even blinking, his eyes staring at Blaine in horror, and he felt his heart cramp, and fall to ashes on the floor.
He felt like he was about to fall out of the bed and dump to the floor. But he stood by his word; he would never force Kurt to leave his family. They had already done so much for him, and to ask them to tear their entire family apart was just way too much for one to even think about.
For a second he considered to turn his back on Kurt. Not because he was angry, but because he needed space to let the thought think in, and he couldn't let him see how much it hurt him. This would be his last week with Kurt.
"Listen… I love my family more than I could ever explain. They are my sun, my moon, my stars - but I love you too. You are my universe, oxygen and spirit. You hold my heart. I wanna go with you. This doesn't mean that I will never see them again. Some day we will come back and visit them and we won't have to worry anymore, or they will come and visit us in our new home - the home we will build together," Kurt whispered with a mix of stars and sadness in his eyes.
He let a hand caress Blaine's cheek softly while his little finger on his free hand found Blaine's between their chests. He locked their fingers and clung himself to Blaine.
Blaine's heart had transformed from being crumpled up on the floor to flutter away like a hummingbird's wings. A home together; they would build a home together. The thought hadn't even passed him before Kurt mentioned it, but now it seemed like the most natural thing in the world - like the right path for them to take.
"Yeah. A home. Our home," he whispered back.
The next days were awful. They were filled with waiting, waiting and nothing but endless waiting. They agreed that they shouldn't go to the Anderson house to get Blaine's stuff for the first couple of days because his father would expect him to come back to pick up some stuff.
To get through the emptiness of being powerless they started out by going over the details of the plans again. When they had discussed them so much that they knew everything back and forth they waited some more.
Thursday morning Blaine woke up to a racket and a feeling of the bed being empty next to him. He got his senses together and looked out in the room to find Kurt on the floor in front of his closet. He was picking up the insides of a box that apparently had fallen to the floor and made the noise.
"Hey sweetie. You're up early," Blaine mumbled and turned to lie so he could face Kurt properly. Kurt did a startled jump in surprise from Blaine's voice, but hurried to fill the contents of the box back in place and put the lid back on. Then he got to his feet and walked over to sit on the side of the bed where he stroke a hand over Blaine's hair. His curls were growing back out and Kurt said that he saw it as a symbol of the beginning of their new life together away from his father's always-watching-eyes.
"I didn't even know you were awake, baby. Your lip's not swollen anymore. It looks like its own lovely self now," Kurt crooned with a soft smile. His hand ran down over Blaine's torso, over his arm and found his hand.
Blaine allowed himself to spend a little time on taking in the view of the sun hitting Kurt's face, making his features stronger than ever, his hair looked like honey and his eyes sparkled. He truly looked like something out of a fairy tale, or a nymph from Greek mythology. Breathtaking without even knowing it.
Blaine moved a little to his side so Kurt could let himself fall into his embrace. Now that Kurt was back in his arms Blaine realized that the floor was filled with clothes, books, papers and artwork.
"What were you doing? It's gotta be like 8 or something," Blaine muttered into his ear as he started running his fingers up and down Kurt's naked arm. Kurt was still only in his underwear from sleeping, and Blaine appreciated it because the sun was baking through the window and heating up the room.
"I woke up and couldn't sleep anymore. I didn't want to wake you up, so I figured that I would start cleaning out my stuff. So I will be ready for packing the necessities, you know," he explained. Kurt turned around and wrapped his arm around Blaine's waist while covering his collarbone, neck and chest in soft kisses that made Blaine's heart jump to his throat.
Yeah. Get ready for packing seemed like a good idea. Blaine was already planning on going to the record store to explain his situation as he knew the owner always dropped by Thursday afternoons. Until now he had only called in sick after the incident Saturday night, which was kind of true as his back was only just starting to feel normal, and his lip look normal again.
He wondered what he should tell his boss. That he had been kicked out of his father's house? That something had happened so he had to move? Or simply lay out the entire, bold truth? He realized that there were people he needed to call, people he needed to tell goodbye - Trent, his mom, The Warblers.
"Yeah. My father will be working late tomorrow, so I thought we could get my stuff then," Blaine agreed. That would be it then; they could leave Lima, Ohio over the weekend and he would never need to look back. A new life.
It suddenly seemed terrifying. For all these years he had just wanted to be an adult and move out of his father's house so he could take control of his own life, but now that he was about to take that huge step with Kurt he was scared to death. So much had changed over the past year.
"What if it doesn't go? What if we don't work together like that?" Blaine whispered, ashamed that the thought had crossed his mind, but certain that they would need to consider the possibility that their relationship could fall apart. He felt Kurt stiffen in his arms. He looked up at him from his spot by his chest with a shocked expression.
"But we will. So there's no reason to worry about that. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy; because it won't. But when we're together even the hard times will be easy. Destiny has helped us, together, this far. So I am sure we will make it," Kurt assured him. His voice was steady and silk soft - Kurt knew that this was true and he didn't need anything but that conviction.
Blaine let the words fasten themselves in his mind and in his chest. He swallowed his heart in his throat and let it find its way back where it belonged while clenching his grip around Kurt who stretched his neck to kiss his nose.
It would be much easier if we could just stay here, in this bed, Blaine thought and felt himself get so overwhelmed that tears were pressing to get out. His entire life was a mess, nearly non-existent, and Kurt was throwing his own life away for his sake.
Kurt abruptly sat up and crossed his legs next to Blaine. His lips transformed to a thin line and his eyes seemed cautious. It was like he was about to do something he wasn't sure that he was ready for. He reached out and grabbed the box from the floor, and Blaine knew that he should sit up as well.
"I wanna show you something," Kurt said seriously.
The box was nothing but a black cardboard box with worn out corners and dust on the top. Kurt was holding it between his hands as if it had been one of the most precious things in the world, and Blaine couldn't help wondering what the contents could be.
"This box holds… memories. This is my mom," Kurt told and took off the lid so he could place it on the table next to the bed. The box was filled with papers, ribbons and an empty perfume bottle.
Blaine was so amazed that he didn't know whether he should look at Kurt or the box. This was a very big step for Kurt, he was sure.
Kurt started folding out papers and putting them on the bed between them. Drawings. Motives of nature, instruments and portraits was sketched with gentle, graceful coal lines. A neat signature resembling Kurt's was in the corner, and some of them held both his mom's and Kurt's names.
Under the papers was a thick envelope, and a little notebook with a faded pattern of flowers on the front. The entire content of the box smelled like it had been hidden away for decades, and Blaine wondered how long it had been since Kurt had opened the box the last time.
"This is a piece of her favorite dress. When it was so worn out that she had to toss it she let me have one of the ribbons," Kurt explained and held up a yellow satin ribbon. It was bright and it was very clear that Kurt had taken very good care of it.
He opened the envelope and pulled out a pile of photographs. The top one was Kurt's dad looking much younger than he did now. He was happy and grinning, dressed in a fancy suit that Blaine would never have imagined him to wear, and a young woman on his arm. Their wedding photo. The woman was incredibly beautiful, and she looked happy and very much in love. He couldn't help feel a sting of sadness from knowing that this happiness had been shattered.
Kurt started flipping through the photos. There were pictures showing his parents together, his mom by herself or with friends - his mom with Kurt. Young, innocent, baby Kurt, and older pictures of Kurt from he was 3 or 5. Each and every single picture their joined happiness shined through, and Blaine wished that there was ever a way he could put that smile back on Kurt's face.
"Your mom was very beautiful, honey," Blaine said softly and placed a hand on Kurt's wrist. Kurt shook his hand away and sniffed. He put the pictures back in the envelope before he started putting the things back in the box and put the lid back on, a whiff of fragrance from the perfume bottle filled the air with the scent of summer rain.
"I better give this to my dad so he can take care of it when I'm gone," he said thickly and started to get up, but Blaine grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to sit on the bed.
"No. Kurt, you should bring it. It's your memories, it's your mom. You need this with you, it's a part of you. Or - we can wrap it up, and ask your dad to send it to you once we have settled down. You cannot leave this behind. If you do that you will lose a part of you," Blaine said, convinced that this was the truth.
"It doesn't matter. I don't use it anyway," he tried objecting, but Blaine shook his head at him.
"It does matter! What if you miss her one day and you don't even have a photo? What if you feel like the entire world is falling apart and you have nothing of her with you? What if… what if you get homesick, and wants to leave? Then I will have nothing to say to hold you back and I will have to watch you leave, because I can't even say that you should think about what your mom would want for you," Blaine argued.
He opened the lid and gently moved the drawings and letters. Kurt was staring at him in confusion when Blaine got out the envelope with the photos. He flipped through the bunch and found out one particular that had burned itself into his brain.
He put the things back in the box and closed it again before he handed the picture to Kurt. He looked down on his mom in her yellow dress smiling out to them, her arms locked safely around Kurt who was sitting in her lap. He couldn't have been more than 5 years old when the picture was taken. He was missing a tooth and freckles were covering his face. He was grinning broadly and rested his head against his mom's collarbone.
"At least bring this. I am not going anywhere if you don't bring this. You are going to need it. What if -" Blaine stated, but paused before ending his sentence. He wasn't sure that this would be a wise play, and he felt guilty about doing so, but he knew that this was something that would be very important to Kurt.
"What if one day we find a way to have kids? Then you will want to tell them about your mom - but if you leave the box here, you won't have any pictures, or anything to show them from her. You will leave behind a part of you. If not for you, then bring it for me. For our… kids," Blaine said quietly, his last argument out and he put the box back to the floor.
Kurt sniffed again and dried a tear of his cheek with the back of his hand. He looked from the picture, to Blaine and back to the picture. A little twitch touched the corners of his mouth, and Blaine knew that the mission was accomplished.
"Thank you. You are magnificent. You are the most beautiful flower I could ever wish for in my naked garden," Kurt said and let his free hand brush over Blaine's cheek with a smile. He pressed the picture against his heart and put it on the table before he hugged Blaine.