June 11, 2012, 6:19 a.m.
The Sound Of Silence: Unexpected
E - Words: 6,888 - Last Updated: Jun 11, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 43/43 - Created: Jan 08, 2012 - Updated: Jun 11, 2012 455 0 1 0 1
Monday Kurt stopped by the record store as promised. When he arrived he asked Blaine to show him where to hang his jacket and Blaine confused showed into the back room of the store.
"You've been here befo…" Blaine started to say, but was stopped by Kurt's lips pressing against his, making panic fuel inside of him.
"I know. I just wanted to give you that," Kurt smiled innocently at him; but Blaine had to take a step back to make space for himself to breathe.
"Kurt. I love it when you come by. It's the best part of my day when you do, and you know that I love ki… spending time with you. But we can't do… this. Here," he said, nervous that it had come out a little sharper than he intended it to, and the look on Kurt's face instantly transformed.
He didn't say anything. He nodded in return and Blaine immediately regretted his tone, but couldn't help keep on being scared that someone accidentally had seen them. Seen them kiss.
"But it's okay. The door is closed, no one sees -" Kurt exclaimed patiently, his eyes revealing a flash of hurt growing.
He was fumbling with the hem of the sleeve of his tunic, and directed his full attention towards his fingers.
Blaine was sad that he had to hurt him, but he was also confused and mad that Kurt would do such a thing when they were out in public.
"But, Kurt -I'm not the only one who works here. What if someone was to come in and see us? I could get fired, and then everyone would know and…" he trailed off, a voice in the back of his head telling him to stop before he got too angry.
"Sorry," Kurt mumbled and turned on his heel and left the back room.
"Kurt -" Blaine called after him, but he was already out.
The rest of the day Kurt didn't talk to him. He danced around at the other end of the store, going through all the new records; singing and dancing to himself, talking to kids that came into the store.
A little girl came in with her older sister, and Kurt lifted her up to dance around the store with her. Blaine was helping the sister, but couldn't help stealing glances in Kurt's direction and observing how bright he was smiling and how much the little girl giggled and clearly loved hanging out with him.
When the little girl and her sister left the store Kurt bent down and exchanged kisses on the cheek with the girl and she giggled and waved at him on her way out.
The store was empty and it was dark outside. There was no chance that there would be anymore customers, but they weren't supposed to close up until the next half hour. Kurt had tripped into the listening booth where he closed the door.
Blaine wanted to follow him, but he wasn't sure if he was allowed to. They hadn't made eye contact all day, and he had no idea if Kurt was actually angry with him for what happened in the back room, but the thought made him uneasy.
Blaine walked to the end of the store, locked the door and turned the sign to say that they were closed. Then he turned off the lights, so the only lamp lighting up the room was the one on the desk. He walked to the listening booth and knocked the door.
"Kurt? Can I come in? Please…" he asked carefully, not really sure if Kurt was listening to music, or if he could even hear him on the other side of the door.
There wasn't any answer, so he took a deep breath and opened the door.
"Can I come in?" Blaine asked as he saw Kurt sitting on the floor in the corner of the booth, the tones of She's Not You flowing around the room.
Kurt didn't answer, he merely shrugged, so Blaine walked in and closed the door after him, leaving the room in almost complete darkness. He crossed the small square that was the floor and let himself down on the carpet next to Kurt.
"I'm sorry," he said weakly.
"It wasn't fair. You did something sweet and nice, and I was just scared. I'm really sorry." He paused and let his head fall back against the wall, hoping that Kurt would take up the power of speech.
"There wasn't any reason for you to be scared. The door was closed. No one could see us," Kurt sniffed, his voice clearly telling off that he was hurt.
"I know that, and that's why I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't fair of me to be mad at you - because technically you didn't do anything wrong -" Blaine apologized, doing his best to not hurt Kurt any further, apparently not succeeding, because Kurt looked down at him with angry eyes.
"Technically? I technically didn't do anything wrong? I did everything right; I got you to the back room, I made sure no one was there and I closed the door - and then I kissed my boyfriend." His voice was sharp, even more hurt than before.
"You need to work with this, Blaine. I know that you are afraid, and I said that I would never pressure you into telling anyone, or to be public about us, or anything - but you can't run around being scared your whole life. You limit yourself, and you lock up your soul. There are so many limitations in your life, and you need to let yourself free when you can; or you will end up being afraid of everything. I don't wanna see you look over your shoulder for the rest of your life -" Kurt wailed, letting his hand down on Blaine's knee next to him.
"The rest of my life? You thought about the rest of my life?" Blaine inquired, surprised by this new piece of information.
"The rest of your life is the rest of my life, so of course I have -" Kurt said, rolling his eyes at him.
"I promise that I'll… work on it. I really am sorry. I am trying," Blaine returned to the subject, feeling ashamed that he had acted so strongly when Kurt had simply showed him a nice gesture.
"I know you are. And I am really proud of you, you are doing so good. I just… wanna push your limits, so you can be brave enough to push your limits a little." Kurt grabbed Blaine's finger and squeezed it in his hand, like he had been a 4 year old.
"Thank you," Blaine said, crooking his finger a little, making Kurt release his grip.
"I guess I should apologize too. It wasn't fair of me to ambush you like that. When I know how you feel," Kurt said, letting his hand close around Blaine's as his head fell down to rest on his shoulder.
"I liked watching you with that little girl today. Both of you looked so… free," Blaine burst out, remembering the expression on Kurt's face when they had danced around.
"She was sweet. We had a good time. We nearly fell in love and ran away together. Then we would have started a dance/yoga studio where she would teach girls to be princesses and dance like them, and I would help people find their inner peace through yoga," Kurt teased and Blaine knew instinctively that he was smiling in the dark.
"Is that so? Then what would be left of me?" Blaine asked, acting hurt.
"You would have been left with her older sister. A nice girl who likes tweed skirts, framed glasses and organ music - just a girl for you, huh." Kurt nearly dropped out of character, but struggled to the last to keep it up.
"Oh… sounds hot though -" Blaine chuckled.
"Unfortunately Princess Marianna and I had to go our separate ways of artistic reasons. It just didn't work out," Kurt clenched Blaine's hand a little harder.
"So she abandoned me. And now I'm all yours -" Kurt ended, with a saying tone.
"Well, in that case I am glad it didn't work out," Blaine whispered and kissed Kurt's hair.
"It's late, we should close the store and leave so people won't think that there's a break in," Blaine forced himself to say, even though he didn't want to.
The little booth felt like they had entered a world that was entirely their own, and there was nothing to be afraid of, and nothing to consider.
Blaine got to his feet and helped Kurt off the floor. Kurt snuck his way into his arms, rubbing his nose against his collarbone while sniffing.
"My dad is gone from Sunday till Tuesday - wanna stay over? Do you think your dad will let you?" Blaine asked and kissed Kurt's jaw, letting his fingers sneak under the line of Kurt's blouse making him jump a little.
"I don't know. I could ask. I could always tell him that… I'll sleep in the guestroom or something. Of course he would know that it wouldn't be like that, but I think he would allow it," Kurt responded, while nipping lightly at Blaine's neck with his lips.
"But he was cool with you going to San Francisco, and Washington with Puck?" Blaine asked in disbelief, only now realizing that fact, and now confused that the things was so.
"Puck isn't gay, if you haven't noticed. Finn and Puck have been best friends for years, and I became friends with Puck, and after Finn got in the army Puck kept hanging out at our house, and he and I got really close - but my dad knows that we are just friends. He knows that I would never fuck Noah, and that Noah would never try to fuck me and then dump me after - he wouldn't even be interested in fucking me," Kurt stated, putting it out as if he hadn't thought about it for a long time.
"And that I could never understand. How anybody would not want to fuck you -" Blaine teased with a chuckle into Kurt's hair, making Kurt giggle at him, and Blaine could feel the skin on his cheek go warm.
"You're just saying that because you want it all the time," Kurt suppressed a giggle with his nose digging into the soft spot under Blaine's ear, making Blaine's stomach go cold.
"That's not how it is. You're hot, and you're amazing, and God, you're so damn sexy. I love making love to you, and I love being naked with you - but I want more with you than just fucking you. You know that, right?" Blaine asked, nervous, holding Kurt out so he could look him in the eyes with the question.
"I know. Don't worry, Blaine. You love me - and we don't fuck. Like you said; we make love, and we can share love without it involving our dicks and orgasms. I know that you love me, Stardust, and you aren't going to stop," Kurt cooed and caressed his cheek, making his pulse return to normal pace.
"Sure, you are such a great fuck that I would never need any other - but if anything was to happen I could easily go without that. If I had to do that to be with you I would; because I'm not just with you for your delicious cock," Kurt said, licking his lips and waving his eyelashes flirtatiously at him, making Blaine blush all the way down his neck.
"I'm with you for your big heart, and loving soul," Kurt assured him as a last.
"You are the best this world holds -" Blaine burst out and clasped his lips to Kurt's before letting his hand down to glide into his. It was the last time during this night that he would be able to hold his hand, so he wanted to do it as long as possible.
"When will we see each other again?" Blaine asked, feeling that this would start to be a permanent ritual every time they were to say goodbye.
"I don't know. I have to stay home tomorrow. I… promised my dad. I promised to help Carole and he wants me to spend some time with Finn now that he's back," Kurt sniffed, apology and melancholia simmering in his voice.
"You don't want to spend time with him? You're afraid he'll tell you about the war? The things he saw, the things he did," Blaine inquired as they entered the back room to find their jackets.
Kurt didn't answer, he nodded, and sniffed one more time, Blaine nervous that he was crying, but no tears were showing on his cheek or in his eyes.
"Tell him, baby. Tell him that you wanna be with him and spend time with him, but you don't wanna hear about it, because it breaks your heart. I've seen what it does to you, and you shouldn't go through that. It's too painful for you. You need to take care of yourself," Blaine told him, begging him to object to his brother's stories, and started wondering how he could have avoided getting into the military himself, only to imagine how Kurt had been face to face with the recruiters and telling them how he was openly out and proud gay. It made a smile spread on Blaine's face - he could never do something like that himself.
"I will try that. Thank you. You're so good to me," Kurt leaned in and pecked his cheek, the last kiss before he took a deep breath and they walked out in the cold of the evening.
Blaine locked the door after them and watched as Kurt danced around on the sidewalk tiles, and he suddenly came to think that they had already been together for so long and it kept going stronger. He would never grow tired of watching the playful spirit radiating from Kurt.
"What are you smiling about?" Kurt asked as they walked down the street towards the library where they usually parted after having spent the day together in town.
"Nothing," Blaine responded, realizing they were already there, sadness growing in his chest wishing that he could hug Kurt goodbye as the least; but it wouldn't go, so instead they looked awkwardly at each other as usual, and let their hands meet in a hand-shake, caressing each other discretely with their fingers, before they said goodnight and walked in opposite directions.
Blaine went to the library to look for new books to read, and stopped by the newsstand to pick up some new comics on his way home from the record store late Tuesday afternoon. He still hadn't heard anything from Kurt about when they were to see each other again, and he was off work Wednesday and Thursday, so he needed to figure out something to do.
When he got home he took a long shower and went to the kitchen to take a chit chat with the maid, Ms. Johnson, while he ate dinner. His father had taken his dinner in the office, and Blaine was fine with that. Ms. Johnson was a nice woman on the plus side of 50, and she was really sweet to him.
Sometimes he suspected that she had figure him and Kurt out, when he told her that he was going to spend the day with Kurt, or when she told him that it was Kurt on the phone - he couldn't really describe it, it just felt like she knew.
"He's a special boy," she always said to him with a wink, before she continued;
"You're a special boy." And then she would smile warmly at him and turn on her heel and leave.
He actually found it comfortable that she possibly knew. He was sure that she would never tell his father, she didn't seem to particularly like him; Blaine had a feeling that she only stuck around for his sake.
If the maid knew about him and Kurt it would mean that he wasn't completely alone with his secret in the big house, and the only one who knew approved, and liked Kurt.
"A boy is on the phone for you," Ms. Johnson told him when she came knocking on his door later that evening, and Blaine's face lit up to a smile as he dropped his book and jumped off the bed to run to the phone downstairs.
"It's not Kurt," she informed him as they walked down the stairs together, and Blaine felt his face drop, and his smile stiffen. Who on Earth would call him, if it wasn't Kurt?
Not that he really wanted to talk to anyone but Kurt, but he nonetheless picked up the phone and forced himself to be polite as he introduced himself.
"Hey man. I'm back in Lima. Can we hang?" Puck's husky voice sounded from the other end of the phone. Blaine was surprised to hear his voice and he had to take a minute to really think through what it was he had asked.
"Yeah, sure. That would be cool. I've got the house to myself, so you can just drop by, if you want?" Blaine replied and as Puck agreed he gave him the address and hung up the phone.
"A friend is coming over. Just explain to him where my room is," Blaine told Ms. Johnson and smiled gratefully at her as she promised she would do that.
It didn't last long until there was a knock on his door and Puck crashed into the room with a big grin covering his face, and a cold spreading from his body from outside.
"You live pretty fancy, Anderson -" Puck exclaimed as he let his jacket fall to the floor before he dumped down on the mattress, scooping the collection of literature to the head of the bed so Puck could fill up the foot all by himself.
"Greetings from my forever working psychopathic father -" Blaine chuckled hollowly, as he leaned back against the headboard, to have a look at Puck.
"Yeah, I hear your old man's a bit of a machine. But what's up, dude? It's been ages. Quinn wrote me. I'm really sorry you had to witness that. It sounded bloody and bizarre -" Puck said sullenly staring into the ceiling.
"Yeah. It was pretty morose. I hope she's better now. I haven't heard from her since she left. I'm really sorry about the… baby. You know." It was awkward. Having to pay condolences to Puck for his unborn child that he wasn't there to experience disappearing in a pool of blood and tears.
"I was pretty upset when I heard. But it was for the best for Quinn. She wasn't ready for something like that. I hope she gets better at that school. She wrote me around before she left, so I guess it must have been same time as she wrote you…" Puck shared, and pouted a little, and Blaine thought it best to change the direction of the conversation to avoid it being too uncomfortable for either of them.
"Does Kurt know you're back? Finn's back from the war, you know," Blaine spat out as the first thing that crossed his mind, not knowing why on Earth he had opened that subject, knowing that it would lead to questions.
"I knew it! You two are together - Jesus Christ man, you were so long to get your ass together," Puck exclaimed and jumped to sit up on the bed, making a couple of books fall to the floor with a bang.
Blaine panicked. He didn't know how to react, and he felt his heart cramp up and sweat break out on his palms. Should he come clean or deny it? Wouldn't Puck approve and all that? Would he think that Blaine wasn't good enough to Kurt? Would he think that Blaine was an asshole for not having told Quinn that he was gay?
"Come on, don't worry. It's cool, man. I knew that it was only a matter of time before you got together for real. You've been so freaking flirty all summer, and I've never seen Kurt with anyone like that -" Puck grinned, making Blaine's heart find out the jump rope and his stomach do rolls, and he decided he just as well might let it all out.
"When I heard that Kurt had gone home a month ago or whenever it was, I knew that it was for you. I heard that someone had called him one day, and then he left without any explanation, only for the same guy to call him again in the middle of the night - it was pretty obvious. And he didn't talk about anything but you when you left." He leaned back to the pile of blankets he had created behind him, and stared at Blaine with a satisfied expression covering his face.
"Yeah. My mom died a few weeks ago and… I didn't know what to do or who to call and I just… called Kurt at the commune, and the next day he showed up at my front porch. He had just dropped everything to cross the country to come see me," Blaine said feeling it strange to be so open about him and Kurt.
"You sound surprised? You shouldn't be. That boy would fly to the moon and back for you -" Puck joined in, and Blaine was sure that his heart was about to explode from being too big to stay in his chest.
"He stayed with me for a week. And… it happened. I don't know really… One night he woke me up, and we went for a walk and… it was just right. He had to go home the next day, and… he introduced me to his family and all, and I guess they sort of knows about it. My father just can't know. No one can know. My father had signed me up for military school, but the other day he said that he had fixed and I'm not going anyway. So I guess I'll be back in Dalton next month," Blaine told, unable to hide how happy and relieved he was to be able to tell it all to someone.
"That's so cool. I mean, it sucks about your dad. But with Kurt and all - it's awesome. I'm really happy for you guys. I knew you would be great together one day. I'm really sorry about your mom, though -" Puck said truthfully, looking a bit embarrassed that he didn't really have anything to say about it.
"I don't really wanna talk about it," Blaine spared him. Both for Puck's sake, but also for his own. He really didn't want to talk about it. It still stung to think about his mom, and he wasn't exactly ready to have a break down in front of Puck - or maybe he was only able to cry in front of Kurt?
"But to answer your question - no, I haven't talked to Kurt after I came back. I only came back this morning, and after all you did for Quinn and… you know - and also for Kurt; he's a completely different person after he met you. I just thought I owed you to come and thank you for everything. I was planning on calling Kurt tomorrow or something -" Puck explained, his voice dozy and his eyes threatening to betray him.
"He won't have time tomorrow. He's all… family and stuff these days. But how about I call him tomorrow and ask him to come here Thursday, and you can just be here when he comes over?" Blaine suggested, honestly thinking that it would be cool to hang a bit with Puck.
They had talked a bit on the bus to Washington, and then they had talked a bit every now and then in the commune, but it was never anything more than chit chat, but Blaine really wanted to get to know him. He seemed like a cool guy, and Kurt seemed very fond of him - he needed friends.
"Yeah, we could do that. I wanna surprise him - he'll probably scream," Puck barked a laugh at the thought.
"So I just drop by tomorrow and we'll jam a bit on the guitars and read some comic books and reminisce about our golden youth in D.C.?" Puck asked through a yawn he did nothing to hide as he got up from the bed, Blaine instantly knowing that he was on his way home.
Blaine agreed and followed him to the door where they said goodbye, and agreed that Puck should just drop by whenever he was awake and ready for it the next day.
As soon as he returned to his room it occurred to him how exhausted he was. He felt like he had been carrying around every single secret of the entire world and just recently had let them all drop; it was relieving and relaxing - and incredibly exhausting.
He let all the books and comics and the bedspread drop on the floor in one big chaotic pile, not caring about it, only wanting to retreat to the covers of his bed that would let him sleep without a care in the world.
For now, at least…
It was a nice break to have Puck over. He was impressed with Blaine's music collection and spent most of the day running through the records while Blaine sat on the floor against the bed reading comics, every now and then engaging in a lively conversation about a band or an album.
It was relaxing and comforting to not feel like he had to hide who he was. He felt like talking about Kurt all the time because he finally could do it in the proper way that did Kurt justice; but he didn't. He actually didn't even mention him once. He was nervous that Puck would think that he only wanted to hang out with him to talk about Kurt, and he didn't want to give him that impression. That wasn't how it was.
"So - you know Kurt and I go way back," Puck stated under his breath, Blaine not sure what to expect of the conversation to come.
Puck had put the records back in place and had crawled to lie on the bed while staring at the wind shaking the trees outside.
"Yeah, Kurt mentioned that. It's cool. I'm glad he's got friend," Blaine responded, and let the comic drop from the mention of Kurt's name.
"He never really had. I mean, he's always been cool with Rachel, you know - Finn's girlfriend. But they were never really close. He's always been - not really shy, but more like reserved. It's like… he's always known that he's better than others, but not in a cocky way. Like he has a way of seeing through people, knowing them before actually knowing them, so he just… kept to himself, not really hanging out with people. Guess he just didn't want anyone too close because he knew how easy they could hurt him - he's so… fragile. Delicate."
Blaine wasn't really sure why Puck was sharing this with him, but it made him sad to think that Kurt had been this lonely; he didn't want him to feel like that, he didn't deserve that. He couldn't do anything but agree with him on the fragile and delicate point though - he really was; and there was no doubt that Kurt was a much better person than so many of the people in this world.
"But then he met you, man. He's a completely different person. On the bus from Ohio he was watching you - that was the first time in ages I've seen him smile. The day after we arrived he told me about you, and there was just something about him… his entire face lit up. It was crazy! So yeah, thanks. For bringing life and light into the boy," Puck closed.
He sounded sincere and grateful; it was like he had watched Kurt through all the years and not been able to do anything about his solitude, and then someone, Blaine, just scooped along and did it for him.
"I'll do anything for him," was all Blaine could say, and he was honest - except for his father. That he couldn't do. Not for Kurt, not for anyone.
He was ashamed about that. He should be able to stand up to his father, and tell him who he really was, but…
They went to the kitchen and found some food Ms. Johnson had left for them. They talked about the demonstrations and parties they had been to during the summer. Apparently Puck knew Linda from they were kids, and she had been like a sister to him when his father ran off and left his mom alone to take care of three kids growing up.
It sounded awful to Blaine, and as much as he hated this house and his father, he was grateful that those kind of things hadn't been an issue too while he was growing up.
"Puck? How is Finn?" Blaine asked insecure. He had wondered that for a long time, but he had not wanted to ask Kurt because he didn't want to upset him with stirring up the whole "my-brother-is-a-killer"-issue.
He was curious , cause it was very clear to him that Kurt cared deeply for his brother, and Blaine couldn't make that fit if Finn had always been a strong military supporter, so there had to more to him than just that.
"Finn is a good guy. He honestly is. But he's very old fashioned. He's all cool with Kurt being… you know. Into guys, and all that., but he never really understood him."
It slowly occurred to Blaine that Puck and Finn had been friends for a very long time, it could be heard in the way Puck spoke, but it sounded like they had drifted apart.
"His biological dad was in the military, and he's always known that he wanted to follow those footsteps, so when he got the letter he was proud - and Kurt was crushed," Puck told, and Blaine gulped.
He didn't want to imagine Kurt when he had got the news that his little brother was going to the army to be trained for combat with that sole purpose of sending him to a country where there was higher chances of him getting killed than coming back - and where he was bound to kill people himself.
"What happened then? To Kurt? What did he do?" Blaine spat out unable to stop himself. He just needed to know.
"He didn't leave his room for two weeks. He refused to talk to anyone. Didn't really eat or drink anything. He was all skin and bones after - and it's not like he's on the heavy side already or anything." Puck wrinkled his nose. He looked like the memory was something he had hoped to never cross again, and Blaine felt a little bad that he had brought it up.
"Then one day he came to me, and he said that he had decided that we should hitch hike to San Francisco, so we did, and then we spent a few months there."
Blaine liked the way Puck talked about Kurt. It was like listening to someone talking about their little brother they wanted to defend to the last drop of blood - at least Kurt had had one person in his life that felt that way about him - before Blaine came along. Now he had two.
"Hummel residence, this is Kurt speaking," Kurt's voice flowed gracefully through the receiver, making Blaine's heart grab for the jump rope as always.
"Hey beautiful. I was thinking if you would maybe stop by my house today? I've got a surprise for you. My father is working late, so it's cool. We don't have to worry about him today," Blaine greeted him, a swirl in his stomach of how amazing it felt to talk like that over the phone without worrying.
"Hey Stardust. I don't kn…"
"Please. Please. I really miss you, and I really wanna show you this," Blaine begged him, remembering that he had promised Puck to get him over. He would be so disappointed if Kurt didn't come.
"Ugh… okay. I'll have to find a way to sneak out. I miss you too, baby -" Kurt finally said after a little silence.
"Great. I promise you won't regret it. Can't wait to see you."
Blaine wanted to kiss the phone, but instead he hung up and hurried to shower before Puck came over. He wasn't sure how long it would take for Kurt to be there; he just hoped that Puck would get there first.
It quickly got late. 1, 2, 3 pm, and Blaine started wondering if Kurt was even going to show. Puck didn't seem to think about it, though. Blaine guessed that he was used to Kurt's unpredictable behavior, and as much as he didn't want to face it, he knew that it was a leftover from his strict upbringing under his father's eyes that he needed some things to be clear or he would get nervous, and annoyed.
"Maybe he's not coming," Blaine eventually sighed, and buried his face in his pillow, suppressing a roar of frustration with Puck casually sitting at the end of the bed with Blaine's guitar playing some Beatles tunes.
"Chill, man. He'll be here. You should know by now - you can never really expect him to be on time for anything, he's too free. I don't even think he owns a watch or anything," Puck exclaimed with a laughter, putting the guitar down to lie on his back, tapping a rhythm on the mattress.
There was a knock on the door and Blaine sat up stiff.
"Noah, you're back!" Kurt squealed and ran across the room to jump on top of Puck who didn't have a chance to react. Puck quickly got his arms swung around Kurt even though he was so cold that Blaine could feel him from the other end of the bed.
This was exactly what he had hoped for; this happiness that so obviously was streaming out of Kurt when he sat up on Puck's hips looking down at him, feeling his face and running his fingers through his dark hair, before he finally pinched him in the arm.
"Auch! What'd you do that for?" Puck whined, looking like he had just been slapped in the face.
"Why did you stay away for so long? You didn't even call or write me? I needed you, Noah. You know that I did. I needed you to be there when Finn came home. I wrote you tons of letters but you never even considered to write me back."
A wave of betrayal splashed in over Kurt's face and he fell to sit on the bed between his friend and boyfriend. His lips pouted and his eyes shifted from staring hard into Puck's to down on the bedspread under him.
"I'm sorry, man. I wanted to. But you know how I am with writing - that's not exactly something I could do for a living…" Puck started to defend himself, truly sounding apologetic, but Kurt changed his focus drastically out of nowhere.
"And you. You knew that he was back, and you didn't tell me? How long has this been?" Kurt asked Blaine, looking hurt and sad. He didn't sound upset, but his voice was quiet and weak.
"I… he only called me the other day, and then he came over, and you said you were hanging with your family, so… I just thought we'd surprise you," Blaine blabbered out, desperate to let Kurt understand that he hadn't hidden anything from him, but this was the actual way things had gone down.
"I'm sorry, okay? I really wanted to be there, but I couldn't make it fit with any busses or trains. I tried. I just needed to gather the money and then find some way to get here," Puck tried and grabbed Kurt's hand, searching for eye contact, but Kurt kept staring down in the bedspread to avoid both Blaine and Puck's eyes.
"Does it make up for it that I missed you like hell?" he tried teasingly, Blaine not sure it was the right way to go around it - but Kurt's cheeks blushed and his eyes flickered to Puck's for a split second before he pushed his hand away.
"A little… maybe. I just… I'm sorry, I just really needed you. Blaine was there, but… he doesn't know Finn, he didn't see how it really was." Kurt finally shot Blaine an apologetic glance before he returned his attention to Puck and smacked teasingly over his fingers.
"If I could hate you I would right now -" Kurt said and fell back to the pillow.
"I know… but you could never hate me. You love me, Hummel. You know you do -" Puck joked, and nudged Kurt's knee.
Blaine didn't really know what to say or do about it. He felt like he was walking in on two lovers struggling their way out of a quarrel, and he almost thought that he should tiptoe out to leave them to their reunion in peace.
"Yes. Not because I want to right now or anything -" Kurt pouted, and stuck out his tongue at Puck, before he let himself fall down to curl up in Puck's arms.
"I just really missed you. Lima isn't the same without you, you know."
Blaine watched as Kurt shuffled himself closer to Puck, and Puck folded his arms safely around the fragile boy who looked peaceful in a different way than Blaine had seen him before, making Blaine feel a little misplaced as Kurt buried his nose against Puck's elbow.
"But hey, I should be upset too! You wrote me all these letters but you didn't take as much as one line to tell me that you got yourself a boyfriend now," Puck burst out, as if he had just caught them snogging.
"Well… love can't be explained. Especially not this love - it's too strong for words. I wanted you to see it yourself," Kurt cooed as he grazed his fingers up Blaine's thigh to let his hand slide into his, and suddenly the room felt extremely hot, Puck shooting him a giant grin.
"It's grand, and extraordinary. Unearthly. It came crashing down on us from a galaxy far, far away- This universe can't contain it," Kurt kept going; dreamy and teasing, eyes huge with excitement, and voice flowing through the room.
They got through the day with Puck telling them how the other people at the commune had gone through the months after Kurt and Blaine left; how they had demonstrated and partied, and how Gary and a few of the older guys had been arrested after getting into a heavy discussion with a pair of police officers.
Blaine knew that he should be upset about it, and ask what had happened, but he honestly didn't care. In his opinion it had only been a matter of time before Gary would have got himself into some mess, and he was actually happy that it finally had - it was about time.
"What about Linda, then?" he asked, genuinely curious, nervous, about what she was going to do if Gary ended up in prison for god-knows what other horrible stuff he had done. There was no question that he would end up doing something to give the police a reason for keeping him locked up.
"I think she had something going with Ginger, so I guess she's staying. At least for now. She made a big deal out of how much she wasn't planning on coming home for the holidays. You could always call her…"
"Oh no, I don't think so. She's a big girl, I guess she'll be alright, or she'll call me, or something. She knows where I live -" Blaine rolled his eyes, and looked down on his hand locked with Kurt's.
Kurt seemed to notice and let his thumb brush lightly over Blaine's, making him feel like there was something Kurt was trying to tell him - that he should call Linda. Blaine couldn't deny that a part of him felt that he owed her to call her. After all; everything that had happened hadn't been her fault - and when he had been getting on the bus back to Ohio she had been the one to remind him of Kurt and assured him that Kurt would miss him too.
"I am sure her path will pass yours again some day, Blaine. She cares deeply for you, and you for her. If there's a meaning to that, and I am sure there is, you will see her again one day. There's no need for you to call her if you don't feel like it. As you said yourself; if she wishes to speak to you she will call you," Kurt cooed with closed eyes and the tip of his thumb brushing over Blaine's knuckles.
The day went on slowly and lazily, and before they realized it, it had become late and Kurt needed to go home. Puck promised to follow him on his way so he wouldn't have to walk all through town alone, which Blaine was deeply grateful for.
As he closed the door after them he rested his forehead against the cool front door, while cursing himself away for not having the guts to kiss Kurt in front of Puck. He knew that Kurt understood, and he hadn't even tried. Blaine knew that Kurt wanted to let him take the lead to make sure he wasn't pushing him into anything crossing his lines. Sometimes he just wished that Kurt would push him - it would make some lines easier to cross. Lines he really wanted crossed.
Comments
I am really enjoying this story. Well done!