Sept. 7, 2012, 1:48 p.m.
Take My Breath Away: Chapter 7
E - Words: 8,540 - Last Updated: Sep 07, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 17/? - Created: Jun 25, 2012 - Updated: Sep 07, 2012 1,039 0 2 0 0
Blaine didn't go to school Monday. He didn't go to school Tuesday either. Wednesday his mom stayed home from work and came to his room after his dad had left for the office.
"Sweetheart, at first I thought you were just having a bad headache, but since you still didn't leave your bed for the last two days I am officially worried about you. Why won't you tell me what's going on with you, Blaine?" His mom asked as she sat down on the side of his bed.
It was only around 6.30 in the morning but Blaine wasn't sleeping. He hadn't slept properly for days. He was clinging his phone strongly to his chest but he hadn't heard a word from Kurt since he walked out on him Sunday afternoon. Not even a reply to one of Blaine's messages of "I'm sorry" or "Kurt, please talk to me". No calls either and whenever Blaine had tried calling him the dial went directly to his voicemail, so he had given up and was now hoping Kurt would contact him instead.
He wasn't much better himself, though. He hadn't replied to any of Tina's messages and when she called he put his phone on mute and pretended it wasn't there. He couldn't stand the thought of talking to anyone who wasn't Kurt - and even worse; talking to Tina would mean he would have to relive the terrible fight.
"Baby. Please tell me what's wrong. I can go call a doctor if you need that," his mom said worried and Blaine knew that she was only trying to help but all he wanted was to be left to himself.
"Just leave me alone, would you?" He groaned and heard his own voice crack but didn't care for it. Instead he buried his head in his pillow and expressed a sound resembling a hurt animal that he didn't know he could do.
"Blaine, I know we never really… talked about these things. But - is this heartache? Honey, is this about a boy?" His mom asked insecurely.
He couldn't blame her for being nervous to take up the subject. They had never discussed that one day he would potentially have feelings for another boy. Even less had he been open about it when he had seen a guy or man he found attractive when he and his mom were out shopping or watching TV or something like that. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable and he knew that she didn't know how to handle it.
However, her words struck like a thunderstorm. All he could see was Kurt's face with the hard lines trying to suppress a smile but in the end gave in to whatever it was Blaine had said or done. All he could hear was Kurt's high pitched laughter from the times where he forgot to play hard and really let go off himself. All he could feel was the ghost of Kurt's hands and lips on his skin.
Tears welled up in his eyes and it was impossible for him to hold back his sobs. He didn't want to cry over a boy, over Kurt, in front of his mom - but he couldn't help it. His abdomens were screaming and aching from the over stimulation from crying so much over the last few days and his throat felt like sandpaper, even his eyes felt swollen and worn out.
"Oh sweetheart," his mom crooned when she realized he was crying. She stroke his hair and whispered cooing sounds while waiting for him to calm down. But he didn't.
Blaine forced himself to sit up and swung himself into his mom's arms. He let himself melt completely into her warm embrace of safety. If possible, his sobbing got even stronger but the feeling of her hands slowly caressing up and down his back had been just what he needed. He had nearly soaked the shoulder of her dusty blue shirt and his fingers were cramping from digging hard into her back, but he didn't want to let go. He couldn't.
"Tell me about it, sweetie. What happened with this boy?" She asked and Blaine nearly blabbered out with everything. He wanted to tell her so bad. He needed to tell her and have her comfort him and tell him that Kurt would come back to him - only problem was that he couldn't tell her about Kurt, and he was pretty sure Kurt wasn't going to come back to him.
"He doesn't want me, mom. He doesn't - he doesn't want me," was all Blaine could choke out. His voice nearly sounded like a stranger's and it was scary.
"Well - if he doesn't want you… then he doesn't deserve you," she tried awkwardly. Her one hand was back to stroking his hair and it was soothing and easing him up, but her random kisses to the back of his head only made him miss Kurt's kisses even more.
"I don't care. I just -" Blaine sobbed, but stopped mid-sentence. He had no words appropriate to share with his mom.
"Shhh, darling. He doesn't know what he's missing out on," she tried and kept giving comforting sounds and hums into his hair.
Blaine couldn't help feel sorry for her. She was sitting with her heartbroken son in her arms and there was nothing she could say or do to mend his pain. It only made it worse that she had no idea what had really been going on. His poor mom was completely helpless.
"I just wanna help you, but I can't if you don't talk to me, sweetheart. What about Tina? Have you talked to her?"
Blaine shook his head. He hadn't even read the endless stream of texts she had been sending him, he had just deleted them. She knew nothing about what had happened and he couldn't take in the thought of telling her.
"Come on. Let's get you out of bed and down to have something to eat. You won't forget him if you lie here all alone," his mom said one last trying time, the feeling of defeat soaking through her voice.
"I'm not hungry," Blaine pouted and fell back to the pillows with a heavy thump.
"Blaine. You haven't eaten for days. I'm not letting you continue this," she exclaimed and pushed his covers aside. There was nothing he could do now, when his mom was in this mood she would win eventually.
Blaine followed his mom downstairs and into the kitchen. Everything reminded him of Kurt and it stung. Kurt had only been in their kitchen twice, but somehow everything represented him badly; from the kisses by the counter to the innocent silence at the table.
His mom made him sit down on a chair while she cooked up something for him. He really didn't feel like eating, but he didn't want to upset her anymore than he already had, so he indulged her and forced himself to get it down. She sat down opposite him and watched him eat in silence.
"Baby, you'll find the right boy for you some day. You are so full of talent and wit - and you are so handsome. Some day all the boys will be fighting over you," his mom smiled and let her fingers run through his curls as she took away his plate.
"I don't want boys to fight over me, mom -" he sighed and had to bite his lower lip hard to not burst out with "I just want Kurt to fight for me". Her smile faded away and she was back to looking hopeless and defeated. It was devastating to see how much she wanted to be there for him, but nothing would help.
She leaned down to kiss his forehead before she drew a heavy sigh. She continued with her rummaging around the kitchen before turning to face him again; her face dark and grave.
"You can just go back to bed, sweetie. I'm gonna work from home today, so I'll be here if you need me. Please promise you'll tell me if you need anything."
Blaine hurried to his feet and threw his arms around his mom. He clenched her tight and fought back the tears that were lurking behind his eyelids.
"Thank you, mom."
"I just want my smiling boy back. I hate seeing you like this, and it kills me that there's nothing I can do for you," she squeaked in a broken voice. For a moment Blaine feared that she was crying to and the sound made him feel like his heart was shrinking in his chest.
xXx
When Blaine left the kitchen he went to take a shower. As soon as he was done he tried sleeping but he couldn't. He tossed and turned in his bed, so instead he ended up texting Tina to come over after school.
"I was starting to think you and Kurt had run off together, but Blaine, you look terrible," she said when she threw her arms around his neck the moment she stepped into his room.
"What? No - it's just…"
He broke down again. He told her about how they had been going romantically and cute for it. How good it had been and how excited they both were when it all came down to the stupid condom and Kurt freaked out. He explained how Kurt had asked him if he thought he was cheating on him and in the end how he had stormed out of the room.
It was a pain to relive the moment. He could feel it all over again; the shock from Kurt's reaction, the slap in the face from the sight of Kurt's expression when he told him to fuck off and the cramp in his heart when he was lying on his bed and heard the motorcycle drive away.
Tina held him and rocked him back and forth with soothing sounds. She stroke his hair and kissed his temple. She was so incredibly patient and let all of his tears and frustrations run freely. She waited for him to calm down and even though she had all right in the world to say "I told you so" she didn't do it once.
She told him that she hadn't seen Kurt in school all week. Puck on the other hand had been to nearly all of his classes which was strange since they always ditched together. They didn't discuss it further because Tina figured it would be best for Blaine to think about something else.
Around 10 she had to go home and hugged him so tight he feared his head might pop off. She assured him, nothing less than three times, that if he needed anything he could just call or text her and she'd be there.
That night Blaine let his mom talk him into drinking some herbal tea to help him sleep better. He went directly to sleep; a dark, dreamless sleep.
xXx
The next few days were unbearable. Blaine went to classes but excused himself from Warbler practice. He said that he was feeling really sick lately and his friends were worried but understanding even though he didn't tell them that it had something to do with Kurt.
Saturday he had still not heard anything from Kurt. He hadn't said anything to Tina but he was starting to face that he might never hear from him again. He didn't want to say it out loud, though. That would only make it more real, and he wasn't prepared to have it permanent and true.
Tina and Blaine were lying on a blanket in the Anderson's backyard. They were listening to music and running through old editions of different fashion magazines. It was a hot day and Blaine had lost count of how much water he had been drinking. It was on days like this one he wanted to run off to LA to visit Cooper so he could get away from Ohio - and spend the day on one of the sunny, white beaches.
"Blaine. There's a guy asking for you by the door," Blaine's mom said as she appeared in the French doors leading to the Anderson's living room.
Tina's eyes darted directly to Blaine's face as he snapped to sit up. He hurried to get to his feet and debated quickly with himself whether or not to put his shirt on before facing Kurt. When Tina pushed him in the direction of the door he dropped the shirt and headed to the front door, Tina closely behind him.
When they reached the hall Blaine's heart dropped. It wasn't Kurt by the door. It was Puck. With heavy feet and heart he went to face the guy who was wearing a very gloomy expression, Tina only a few steps behind him now.
"What the hell did you do?" Puck thrust out before Blaine even reached the door. He looked like he could swing a punch for him any second and Blaine nearly slammed the door in his face.
"What are you talking about?" Tina asked confounded. Her face was lying in confused lines as she appeared next to Blaine in the door opening.
"What do you mean, what am I talking about? Kurt is completely screwed up. I haven't seen him for a week. He doesn't come to school, he hasn't been at the gym - his phone is shut off. When I was at Finn's place for Call Of Duty last nigh night he told me that Kurt hasn't even left his room. He just came home Sunday and slammed the door and have been refusing to talk to anyone ever sine," Puck exclaimed and pursed his lips as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Blaine felt his throat tie up and he couldn't figure out if he was losing balance or if it was something he was imagining. So Kurt was a complete mess. Why? It was him who had stormed out of there. Him who didn't wait so they could talk it over.
But it wasn't necessarily because of Blaine he was acting like that, it couldn't be. If he was upset about their fight he would just have picked up his phone or come to see him. Wouldn't he?
"You broke him! Now you better get your queer ass over there to fix him!" Puck nearly yelled at him and pulled Blaine out of his train of thoughts.
"It's not Blaine's fault. He didn't anything wrong, Puck," Tina objected sharply.
It was like their voices were under water. Like the sound was only a ghost of their actual conversation.
"If he wanted to talk to me he would've just said so. He hasn't replied to any of my messages or my calls, so clearly he doesn't want anything to do with me -" Blaine said with a lump filling his throat.
There. He said it. Kurt would never want to see him again. He hadn't contacted him in nearly a week, and there was nothing he could do about it.
"Would you stop that shit and just get over there? Trust me - I've known Kurt longer than you," Puck argued and moved with a gesture for Blaine to come out.
"Puck, stop it. Blaine hasn't done anything wrong. If Kurt doesn't want to talk to anyone it's not Blaine's responsibility. Kurt is probably just hibernating or something. Leave Blaine alone," Tina groaned at him and leaned against the wall.
"I can't… he doesn't want me anymore. He's made that pretty clear. I can't force him to be with me, and I can't force him out of his room, so please - just leave," Blaine said and he realized that his voice had turned begging. Talking about Kurt like that, to constantly deny himself seeing Kurt again, was painful and he wanted to run over there and fling himself into Kurt's arms without second thoughts.
"Please. Kurt's dad is really worried. I am really worried about him. I know he's changed a lot over the last two years, and I've really done my best to take care of him - but I've never seen him like that. Finn says that he thinks he can hear him cry at night. If he doesn't want to talk to you then so be it - but the least you can do is try! If not for him or me then for his dad," Puck ended and turned to walk towards his motorcycle.
Blaine looked to Tina who was standing straight. Concern had filled her eyes, her entire face, and she was shifting her weight between her feet. What was he supposed to do now?
"I can't…. I don't - this isn't fair," Blaine moaned and closed the door before bumping his forehead against the cool wood.
"What should I do?" He asked desperately and turned to Tina.
"I… I think you should go and try talking to him. If you're sure you can handle it. If you know you won't be okay with it, then I don't think you should do it. But - he's clearly devastated too. I've never heard about him being so beat up… not even before he changed. If it's not about you then I guess it's none of your business, but - it couldn't hurt trying. Maybe you can sort things out," she suggested and Blaine was happy. It was exactly the response he had been hoping to get.
It was the exact thoughts that had been rummaging around the back of his head, but he had needed Tina to say it - to make sure it was the right thing to do and not just some insane idea of his subconscious because he was so desperate to get Kurt back.
Without warning he ran back through the house and hurried to his room to change his clothes. Tina entered right as he was about to put on his shoes. She put the pile of magazines and the blanket from the backyard on his bed before sitting down while he checked his hair in the mirror by the closet.
"You look great. You'll charm him off his feet in no time. Again," Tina smiled and Blaine grabbed his phone and keys off the desk before meeting her by the bed.
"You're sure you're okay with me dumping you then?" He asked insecurely even though he knew that she really was okay with it. She would never have suggested it if she wasn't, but there was no way Tina would ever set one of their lazy afternoons over Blaine trying to save his relationship, if there even was anything left to save.
She assured him that she wanted him to go see Kurt way more than she wanted to lie in the backyard and do nothing all day. They hurried downstairs where Blaine called to his mom that they were leaving. He said goodbye to Tina and rushed to his car.
xXx
When Blaine was standing in front of the Hummel-Hudson house he turned and walked back to his car only to return to the doorstep five times before he actually got himself worked up to ring the bell. The second he pressed the button he was ready to run away or hide in a bush like a kid on Halloween.
To his major relief it was Carole who answered the door. He wasn't sure if it would have been worse to have Finn or Burt answer, but Carole was definitely harmless in Blaine's opinion of who he would rather sink into the ground than be faced with at the moment.
"Hi Blaine. We haven't seen you around here for a while. How are you?" Carole smiled warmly at him and stepped aside to let him enter the house. He had completely forgot how much he missed the atmosphere of Kurt's home so when he was inside it hit him like an avalanche.
"I uhm - I don't want to be rude or anything, but… I'm actually here to see Kurt. Puck came to my house and said that… Kurt wasn't feeling well -" Blaine tried explaining as politely as he could.
When he mentioned Kurt it was like a black cloud drifted over Carole. Her otherwise warm and cheerful spirit had transformed to a concerned and depressed expression surrounding her entire being.
"Yeah. Kurt has been… not good, lately. He's barricaded himself in his room for days. I don't know what to do anymore. Burt is completely frustrated over it and has no idea what to do," she sighed.
Blaine felt a sting of guilt. It wasn't his fault, not really anyway, but he still felt that if he had just kept his mouth shut and enjoyed being with Kurt instead, and not having yelped up about insignificant details such as condoms they would still be okay and if they were still okay he would have been able to be there to support Kurt in whatever it was that was troubling him.
"I'm sorry. Puck just - he asked me to try and talk to him. I don't know anything I just… I can't stand the thought of Kurt being miserable like that -" Blaine sighed. His voice had gone weak and he felt nauseous. He wasn't prepared to be a bigger man and do this for Kurt's sake. No, he was selfish and his first priority was to convince Kurt to take him back. Or at least get an explanation.
Carole drew a heavy breath and led him upstairs. She stopped in front of Kurt's room where she carefully knocked the door. There was no answer so she tried again. And again. There was no reaction until the fifth time where Blaine was starting to consider leaving.
"Go to hell!" Kurt roared from the other side of the door. Blaine shrunk next to Carole in the hallway. Not only did Kurt's voice strike him hard but he also felt terrible that Kurt talked to his family that way.
"Kurt. Open the door for just a minute. There's someone here to see you, sweetie," Carole tried in the maternal way that always made Blaine think that even if he hadn't had his own mom he would always find a mom in the Hummel-Hudson house he could turn to.
A loud crash sounded from the other side of the door and angry footsteps were menacingly approaching. The door was flung aggressively open, making Blaine take a warning step backwards.
"Don't you get that I'm just waiting to die here! I don't want your fucking doctors or any of your other shit. I just want you to leave me the hell alone!" Kurt roamed even before the door was open, but even as he appeared he kept the door closed enough so that only his face was visible.
His hair was more perfectly fixed than ever, nearly as if he had used a ruler to make sure it was even. He was wearing a grey sweater that looked way more expensive than anything Blaine owned paired up with a tight pair of white jeans - clothes Blaine never would expect to see Kurt in. But Kurt was a hot mess - he had dark rings under his eyes, and Blaine thought he looked like he hadn't slept forever. His lower lip was trembling, and his movements were fidgeted.
"Kurt, please. Blaine just want to speak to you for a moment," Carole explained and it was obvious that Kurt hadn't noticed Blaine's presence. By the sound of his name Kurt's eyes flickered to the side where Blaine had stepped a little to the side and though it seemed impossible a moment ago his eyes became even darker.
"I don't want that freaking midget here!" Kurt thundered. Blaine was positive that if this had been a cartoon he would have been thrown against the banister to the stairs behind him.
Carole rubbed her palms over her face before she let her hands drop to her sides. She gave Blaine an apologetic look before she turned back to Kurt.
"Listen - I don't know what's been going on with you two, but I'm not planning on getting in the middle of it. Now you two are going to talk and I'm gonna go downstairs to give you some privacy. Blaine, you can just leave if he gets too much, okay?" Carole exclaimed softly and smiled at Blaine. The smile was the one of a person who wants to be encouraging but knows that it's only an act. She didn't feel like he should do it.
Carole sent Kurt a sharp glance before she turned and walked back downstairs. Blaine was frozen. It was like he was nailed to the spot and paralyzed. He wanted to scream and cry and beg Kurt to take him back - finally tell him that he loved him and that he didn't care about protection, he just wanted to be with him. That would definitely be a wrong turn.
Kurt watched Carole disappear down the stairs. He didn't even look at Blaine as he turned around and walked away, leaving the door open behind him. He was reluctantly inviting him in.
Blaine was shocked to see his room. He had expected a mess, a chaos of another world - but it was anything but that. Nothing was out of place, everything was even arranged symmetrical. His bed was made; it was the first time Blaine had seen his bedspread lying neatly over the sheets with a smooth surface only interrupted by the print of where Kurt obviously had been lying. The room didn't even smell like cigarettes. The only thing not where it belonged was the alarm clock from the nightstand; it was lying a few feet from where it usually sat and looked like it had been thrown.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing? You have nothing to do here!" Kurt exclaimed, his eyes avoiding Blaine's face. It was hard to tell what was going on behind his eyes. Blaine had never seen his eyes this dark or his face so hard before, it was like it was carved in stone.
"I just… Puck came over and asked me to talk to you -"
"Well I don't wanna talk to you! Get the fuck out of my life!" Kurt growled, his back now on Blaine, apparently determined to never see his face again.
Blaine took a few steps back. He turned around to leave. It was obvious that he had nothing to do there, that his presence only made things worse. He couldn't remember when he had closed the door, but when he put his hand to the doorknob he was taken by surprise.
"You are so fucking selfish! Did you ever for a second consider how it would make me feel?" Kurt said behind Blaine. He was afraid to turn around to face him. His voice sounded broken and worn out, but at the same time it was like he had rehearsed the outburst over and over again.
"I only came because Puck asked me to. I get that you don't want me anymore. Clearly it was a mistake of me to come here, so I'm just gonna leave now. I'm out of your life," Blaine responded under his breath. He nearly crashed forward into the door. He felt like his legs had forgotten how to keep him up.
"Please don't leave me."
Kurt was begging, his voice was trashed and weak. Blaine dared himself to turn around and nearly choked when he saw Kurt. Tears were streaming down his face and he looked paler than ever. His lower lip was trembling and his hands were balled up to fists.
"Kurt - you were the one who left me. You stormed away just because I made a request to take care of myself. This is not - it's not fair of you to act like that," Blaine tried. He didn't want to give in to the pain in his heart from seeing Kurt like this, he didn't want to let it go - even though what he mostly wanted to do was pull Kurt into his arms.
"You called me a slut, Blaine!" Kurt whined, struggling to keep his voice even, to pretend he wasn't crying regardless of how obvious it was.
"I did not! I would never call you something like that! I just said that since you've been with others before me -" Blaine started to explain, frustrated over how Kurt turned it all around, but he was cut off.
"But the worst part was - you accused me of cheating. Cheating!"
"I didn't -"
"I could never cheat on you. I love you, Blaine! I only want you!" Kurt screamed the last sentence at him before he sunk down on the bed like he had put the rest of his energy into the revelation.
"What the hell is your problem? Why can't you just listen to what I say instead of twisting it into the worst possible? I just wanna make sure we are both safe, Kurt. Make sure we won't be sick," Blaine thrust out with his hands thrown in the air in front of him.
He sat down on the bed next to Kurt. He was afraid to sit too close, but the way Kurt was sniffling with his face hidden in his hands he really wasn't that intimidating anymore.
"I just - wanna be sure we don't get sick. I don't know how these things worked for you before… me. Why is it so bad that I wanna be safe and protect myself?" Blaine asked with a sigh. He wanted to touch him, to comfort him and promise him that everything would be alright - but he knew that if he first got the feeling of Kurt back against his skin he wouldn't be able to focus on his point anymore.
"I was so scared. I did some - I was with these guys before I met you, and I don't know if they… had anything. I kept telling myself that we since used protection so it should be fine. There's just this little voice in the back of my mind whenever I'm alone - what if I'm not safe anymore -" Kurt forced out.
Blaine felt like he had just taken a punch to the gut. Never in a million years would he have thought Kurt would have these kinds of thoughts. Kurt seemed like he pushed everything heavy away, like he had a gift for closing his eyes to stuff he didn't want to be bothered with, and then it only came back to him in his sleep. Like when he had nightmares about his mom or his dad being sick.
"I am so, so sorry I almost put you to that. It only occurred to me when you started talking about it and I snapped and - Blaine I am so sorry. I completely understand if you hate me now. I hate me!" Kurt apologized and tried choking a heavy sob but all he managed to do was reduce it to a violent throb of his entire body accompanied by a rasp cough.
"Kurt, I could never hate you. But - what you did was really bad. What if we both ended up being sick? The important thing is that it didn't come to that. Alright," Blaine tried.
He knew that he should be angry at Kurt for not thinking of the consequences it would have for him if Kurt was sick and they didn't use a condom. He knew that he should be outraged and yelling - but to be honest it seemed like Kurt had already beat himself up enough for a lifetime over the past week. Only thing left for Blaine to do now was to find a way out of this mess they were in.
Kurt was still crying next to him. It occurred to Blaine that their roles were completely reversed and suddenly he felt sick with himself from the way he had talked to Kurt. He remembered all the times he had felt dumb and weak when Kurt had talked a little harsh to him, and here he was doing the same when Kurt was scared and vulnerable.
He closed their little space between them and put his arm around Kurt. He quickly let his hands fall so he could put his arms around Blaine and made himself disappear in the crook of his neck. His crying evolved to a sobbing with his entire body shaking and Blaine couldn't do anything but hold him close and wait for him to cool off.
"I have an idea," Blaine said softly as Kurt's sobbing slowly faded into sniffing and Kurt dried his eyes and moved a little away to breathe.
"How about you and I go down to the free clinic and get tested? Both of us. We can be anonymous and you will be sure you are clean," Blaine suggested and dried a tear off Kurt's jaw before it fell from his face.
"If I'm clean, will you be my boyfriend again?" Kurt sniffed with swollen eyes and trembling hands.
"Kurt, I will always be your boyfriend. Even if you aren't clean. But you used protection, so of course there's nothing wrong with you - it's just to ease your mind, baby," Blaine cooed and closed his hand around Kurt's.
Kurt squeezed his hand back before he fell heavily back on the bed and buried his face in his hands to growl loudly into his palms.
"God. I'm such a loser!" He groaned and kicked frantically with his legs before falling limp again, his hands falling to the sides of his head.
"Of course you're not a loser. If you ever act like that again - I just can't accept that. But you were scared, so I understand. But you don't have to be scared anymore. There's nothing wrong with you," Blaine said and turned to lie on his front next to Kurt.
Kurt opened his eyes and Blaine was glad to see that they weren't dark and scary anymore. They were back to big and blue, but sad and concerned. He let a hand up to brush down Blaine's face and then back up to run over his hair.
"I missed your face," he smiled softly and turned to lie on his side. He grabbed around Blaine's elbow and pulled on it to make him lie closer to him. Blaine welcomed the invitation and moved into Kurt's embrace, glad to finally be where he had longed to be for almost a week.
Kurt kissed Blaine's nose and closed his eyes before snuggling a little closer. Blaine knew that if they wanted to go to the free clinic they should get going soon. He just wanted to enjoy being back in Kurt's arms for a moment.
"Did you… did you really mean what you said?" Blaine asked quietly when it hit him what had just happened between them.
"What?" Kurt mumbled and drew a heavy breath.
"What you said about… do you really love me?"
He was prepared to take hiding. It hadn't seemed like Kurt had meant to let it slip, but the words were echoing in the back of Blaine's mind now. He couldn't help but wishing that he had heard them in a different relation, but now that they had come from Kurt's mouth he was feeling warm and bubbly inside from the thought.
"Of course I love you, Blaine. You're my knight in shining armor, right?" Kurt moaned and sighed, like he was relieved to finally be saying the words out loud.
"I - I love you too," Blaine beamed. Before he could stop himself he had fallen on top of Kurt to kiss him heatedly. He ran his fingers through his soft hair and nearly moaned from the feeling of Kurt's tongue back against his own - there was no doubt; this was where he belonged.
"Let's go to the free clinic before it closes. The sooner we get there the sooner it's done," Blaine said and jumped to his feet where he grabbed Kurt's hands to drag him up with him.
"Can't we do that tomorrow? I just wanna be with you right now," Kurt objected and put his arms around Blaine to kiss his neck.
"No, Kurt. You can't postpone this. Tomorrow it's Sunday. And it can be weeks from they do the tests until we get the results," Blaine explained as patient as he possibly could, but all he got was a dissatisfied groan from Kurt.
"Besides - as soon as we have the results you won't have to buy condoms ever again, and I have a great idea of how to celebrate that. How does that sound?" He teased and Kurt popped his head from Blaine's neck. A smirk crossed his face before he attacked Blaine's mouth hungrily.
"Damn I love you," Kurt smiled against Blaine's lips before he broke away and headed for the door, sure to keep Blaine's hand in his own.
Blaine was sure his face was scarlet and the grin covering his face was probably way too easy for the world to interpret, but he didn't care. He was back with Kurt, and Kurt loved him - he said so himself. Nothing else mattered.
xXx
Getting Kurt to calm down while sitting in the waiting room was much harder than he had expected. He was constantly pacing the floors before sitting back down next to Blaine on the uncomfortable plastic chairs. Blaine did his best to ease him down by holding his hand and telling him that it would be alright, but more than one time he asked if he could leave.
Even when Kurt was called into the doctor he turned to Blaine and asked if he really had to do it, but Blaine assured him that it would be alright and that he would be waiting for him when he was done.
"Just go, Kurt. It'll be fine. I promise. I love you, baby -" Blaine said and pushed Kurt in the direction of the waiting doctor.
And Kurt followed the doctor with heavy steps, leaving Blaine to himself and his hopes that Kurt wouldn't make it too difficult for himself. He was so nervous about how Kurt would handle his test that he hadn't even thought about his own.
"It's really… I've only ever been with my boyfriend, and we used protection so - I'm just doing it to support him," Blaine explained awkwardly to the doctor.
The tests weren't as terrible as he had feared. He had heard terrible stories about urethra swabs. Some of the guys in his school had told vivid tales about giant q-tips that made all he boys hold their legs crossed for the rest of the day. Blaine had really planned on avoiding that for his entire life. The things I so willingly go through for my boyfriend, Blaine thought heavyhearted as he entered the small room.
Luckily that wasn't one of the tests he had to go through. All he had to do was pee in a cup and have a blood sample taken. When he was finished he was such a wreck that he was surprised he could even walk out of there himself.
"Finally. I need a fucking cigarette now!" Kurt muttered the second Blaine returned to the waiting room. Kurt grabbed his hand and led him out the door. Blaine smiled and thanked the receptionist and followed Kurt outside.
The second they were in the parking lot Kurt lit up a cigarette and rested against the yellow brick wall, his eyes closed and face directed towards the blue sky above them. A few clouds were drifting around, seeming nearly misplaced on the otherwise clean celestial concave.
"That wasn't so bad. And only a week - could've been worse," Blaine said and kicked a rock on the pavement while doing his best to stay away from the smoking streaming from Kurt's cigarette and mouth.
"Yeah. It was a real hoot. Now let's go have a party," Kurt said sarcastically and rolled his eyes. He stretched his leg out to wrap it around Blaine so he could make him come closer. He hurried to take one last draw of his cigarette before throwing it away and blew the smoke as pronouncedly away from Blaine as he possibly could.
"What do you wanna do now?" Blaine asked and coughed a little from the smoke that was still hanging around Kurt.
"I wanna go get something to eat - haven't eaten for ages. And then I wanna go get a beer. Wanna be my date?" Kurt grinned and let a finger run down Blaine's chest, causing chills to run down his spine.
The thought of going somewhere with Kurt as his date was in one time intimidating and thrilling. He hadn't forgot the way the guys at Scandal's had eaten him with their eyes or how many guys had tried hitting on him, only to have him turn them down. To be the one to hold his hand in front of them would be the final corner stone to show the world that Blaine was in fact Kurt's boyfriend.
"Mhm, let's do that," Blaine smiled and pressed his lips against Kurt's.
xXx
Blaine was a little shocked by himself. He hadn't even felt bad when he had lied to his mom and said that he was going to spend the night at Tina's house. He had told her that they were going to watch a movie with Tina's sister and she had just been happy that he seemed like he was happy again. Luckily for him she didn't ask any intruding questions.
As soon as he was on his way to Kurt's house he had called Tina and told her everything. Tina had been happy that they had worked things out but taken good time to make sure Blaine hadn't just gone along with everything Kurt had said. He assured her that he hadn't gone against himself in anyway and she wished him a happy night with Kurt.
He didn't tell her that he had told his mom that he would be sleeping at her place. He didn't like asking her to lie for him, so he figured that it would be easier to simply keep her completely out of the equation.
Now he was holding Kurt's hand on the way across Scandal's parking lot. He was dressed in a white shirt with a red sweater vest over, it was matched up with navy bowtie, chinos and boat shoes. He had been really nervous about what to wear - he wanted to make sure Kurt didn't find him completely dorky, but he still didn't want to appear too casual either. But when Kurt sent him a sharp look from his shoes, over his pants, to his bowtie and ended on his hair he raised his eyebrow and bit his lower lip. Blaine felt approved.
Kurt himself was wearing a simple pair of black skinny jeans with a silver shine, a tight Black Sabbath t-shirt and his usual leather jacket. He had mixed the entire thing up with his studded black combat boots and his hair looking messy like he had just rolled out of bed - a look Blaine didn't mind at all.
The doorman nodded at Kurt like they knew each other well and when he realized Kurt was holding Blaine's hand he looked surprised. Blaine sent him an awkward smile and followed Kurt inside. When they reached the bar the bartender greeted Kurt and sent him a flirtatious look but Kurt just nodded and ordered two beers.
"I don't… really drink in public places," Blaine said and remembered quite a few embarrassing things he had done during parties with The Warblers - stuff he didn't exactly feel like repeating in front of Kurt or the rest of Scandal's.
"One beer can't hurt," Kurt smiled and wrapped his arm around his waist. That definitely was his cue. Blaine grabbed the beer from the counter, because as long as Kurt would hold his arm around him in front of every gay man in Lima nothing could be so bad that he couldn't have a single beer.
Blaine took a mouthful of his bottle and Kurt chuckled before he kissed him on the cheekbone. Kurt led him through the club to a small group of tables by the pool-table. A group of girls were standing around the green table and nodded at Kurt as they saw him. He nodded back and sat down on one of the chairs. Blaine prepared to sit on the chair on the opposite side of the small table but Kurt cut him off and pulled out the chair next to his own instead. Blaine grinned and took seat, Kurt immediately finding his hand to his thigh.
"See these chicks?" Half of them are gay, the other half aren't they're just pretending. They have some sort of idiotic idea that if they impress me enough they can turn me straight. They've been going at it for months," Kurt whispered to Blaine with a flirtatious smile in the direction of the girls.
Blaine wasn't really sure how to react to that. He knew that Kurt definitely was gay, and he definitely wouldn't go straight for any girl at all - but he was still a bit smug by the thought of him being with the one people wanted.
"I'm gonna go play with them and tease them a bit. You'll be okay, babe?" Kurt asked. When Blaine nodded he slid his hand a little further up his thigh before kissing his cheek and jumping to his feet.
When he got to the girls he put an arm around two of the girls who had been eating him with their eyes. He winked at Blaine over his shoulder and proceeded to find a cue. As they quickly worked themselves into a game guys started flocking around the table and Blaine noticed how most eyes were directed towards Kurt's ass or arms.
Blaine stayed on his chair and observed Kurt walking around the table, every now and then brushing lightly against one of the girls who would send frantic eyes to her friends as soon as he looked away.
As soon as Kurt announced that he was finished playing a handsome guy with tanned skin and dark hair walked over to him. He nearly pressed Kurt against the wall with his body as he was obviously flirting. Blaine watched Kurt lick his lips and flutter his eyelashes. He let his free hand travel down the guy's well-shaped bicep and ran the neck of his bottle down his chest.
Blaine's mouth turned dry and he noticed that most people had gone back to their business, but the ones who were still hanging around their table was staring at Blaine. He started closing in on himself as he watched Kurt talking to the guy who was starting to make gestures for diving in for a kiss.
Right as Blaine was considering to get up and leave Kurt gave the little sarcastic chuckle he always made and nodded in Blaine's direction with a smile on his face. The tanned guy stared back at Blaine and pursed his lips. He slowly backed away and sent a cruel look in Blaine's direction before he marched away.
Kurt strut over to straddle Blaine and crashed his mouth onto his. Kurt tasted like beer and cigarettes and his tongue was swirling around Blaine's like it had been years since he had kissed him. Blaine worked up the courage to work his hands up Kurt's thighs and down the top of his ass.
"What was that about?" Blaine asked, dozy from the kiss, as Kurt left his mouth to breathe. He was looking at Blaine with eyes that clearly only saw him. His hands were working their way under Blaine's vest and a smile was covering his face.
"He's been after me since I started coming here. I've never been with him, but I keep flirting with him because he buys me drinks if I just grope him every now and then and let him grope me -"
Blaine's smile froze. He didn't like the thought of other guys groping his boyfriend - or his boyfriend groping other guys. Not even if it was to get free drinks.
"That was until you came along of course. I haven't been here since I almost killed you - so I told him that I'm a hitched guy now. That I only have eyes for my man. He was a bit pissed but he'll get over it," Kurt grinned and let his eyes pierce into Blaine's.
He was beautiful, breathtaking - and had just started spreading the rumor that he didn't want to be with anyone but Blaine. There was no doubt that news spread like a wildfire in this place and Blaine was very satisfied with that.
"Wanna go home? I miss… being close to you. Feeling you. I promise I won't try anything," Kurt suggested, and let his hands out of Blaine's sweater vest. He stood up and offered Blaine his hand. When Blaine was back on his feet Kurt fixed Blaine's clothes and padded his belly gently before grabbing his hand and leading him out of the club.
"Sorry ladies. I only want this guy," Kurt grinned as they passed the group of girls who was smoking outside.
"Screw you, Hummel!"
"Oh yeah, he will," Kurt chuckled and pressed a kiss to Blaine's mouth before they left the parking lot with the choir of girl voices lively chatting behind them.
Apparently it was a big deal that Kurt was off the market.
xXx
"It feels good to have you back, babe -" Kurt hummed into Blaine's hair. He was in nothing but his underwear with his one leg tangled between Blaine's, half on top of him. Blaine was in his underwear as well and was stroking his fingertips over Kurt's arm.
"It's good to be back. I've missed this," Blaine responded and had to take a second to not let himself be too obviously overwhelmed.
"I've missed you. It felt so wrong not to… talk to you all the time," Kurt groaned and let his lips ghost down Blaine's neck.
It was hard not to let his hands run free around Kurt's body, simply to feel his skin everywhere. It had only been a week, but it felt like a lifetime since he had been close to Kurt like that. He could feel that Kurt felt the same way, but somehow it seemed like Kurt wanted to be respectful and keep his hands clean. He didn't want it to be about sex or teasing - he just wanted to be back with Blaine.
"I cried. All the time. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat - I was just in my bed crying and missing you. Hoping you would call or text me," Blaine revealed, a little ashamed of how pathetic he had been, but he wanted Kurt to know.
Sadness swam over his face and he looked away for a brief moment. When his eyes were back to Blaine's they seemed glassy and dark.
"I am so sorry, baby. I will never, ever put you through that again. It felt terrible. I kept… I kept telling myself that if I waited long enough, if I just ignored the world long enough and pretended I had never met you, maybe I wouldn't miss you so much. But it just got worse," Kurt told and let his head rest on Blaine's collarbone.
"It doesn't matter now. We won't be separated again," Blaine assured him and brushed a hand over his hair and down his back.
Kurt fell to lie next to him. He smiled through the dark, and it was like a whole new glow was surrounding him. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes before snuggling close to Blaine, putting his arm around his waist in a way that indicated for Blaine to hold around him too so he did.
"I really love you, Blaine," Kurt whispered.
"I love you too, Kurt."
Comments
Wow, that was rough but OH SO WORTH IT. Their love is INTENSE. Just the way I like it! I'm very much enjoying this story - thank u!
Omggg this was....OMGGG sooo good I loved it and cried too ;) I am so glad they worked it out and are doing good and they said I love you! GREAT CHAPTER!