It was weird. He knew that, but he couldn't help it. How could he? Could anyone ever help it when they were in love with someone? That really is one of the purposes of love; it makes you do stupid things, that not even you can explain.

Blaine had gone a bit over the top, though. He knew that as well. Not only did he do some stupid things to get the boy to, not notice him - just to see him, know that he existed. The most supid thing though was who the boy was.

Blaine was a good boy, he really was. He did his homework, worked extra hours in school to earn his straight A's, did volunteer work with foster children interested in music and had never even turned up in Dalton with an un-ironed shirt so much as once.

Yes, Blaine really was the definition of a good kid. Even his parents were proudly showing him off and bragging about him to co-workers and friends, regardless of how hard it had been for them to come to terms with him being gay. Apparently the rest made up for it, so being gay wasn't something they took too hard anymore.

However, if only they knew the mess he had stumbled himself into -

It was one day after he had finished a piano lesson with a 10 year old girl. He was always extra gentle with her because she had been put in a foster family after her mom had turned out to be verbally abusive - very rough stuff the poor girl had been through.

Blaine had been on his way to the gym when two motorcycles had stopped and cut his way off as he was about to turn down the parking lot.

The guys on the big machines took off their helmets and sent each other a grin. Blaine hadn't known what to do, so he had simply stood there; staring at them as one tossed the other a pack of cigarettes, both of them lighting one up.

"What are you looking at?" One of the guys asked. His skin was tanned, his lips pursed and he was sporting a Mohawk. He was wearing a pair of leather pants and a worn out Black Sabbath t-shirt.

"I - nothing. It's just… you're blocking my way," Blaine had awkwardly stammered, not interested in causing any trouble. He just wanted to go to the gym as he always did at that time.

"Your way? Pft - hear that, Kurt? Kiddie here thinks he's got his own way and we're blocking it," the Mohawk said with a laughter, looking to the other guy for response on his witty remark.

That was when Blaine saw him. That's when it hit him; this guy was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

He had no idea how that was possible. How he managed to stay beautiful with his pale skin, cold blue eyes, torn jeans and leather jacket. His hair was perfect, but he looked bored. As if he had better places to be.

"Puckerman get your ass going. We had a deal. I'm not here to stare at some loser all day," he guy named Kurt, the beautiful guy, thrust out. He spat on he ground and looked at Blaine like he was something disgusting under his shoe.

"I just wanna - get to the gym," Blaine stuttered insecure, unable to take his eyes off Kurt. He was surprised that someone who was so tough could look so smooth - Blaine nearly couldn't help a need to reach out and brush a hand down his cheek. His skin looked so soft.

The Mohawk-guy laughed and took a heave of his cigarette, his entire body vibrating from his humor. Kurt raised an eyebrow at him before he threw his half-smoked cigarette on the asphalt and put his helmet back on. Mohawk-guy followed his lead and the motorcycles left Blaine to glance after them.

That was three weeks ago.

Blaine had seen the motorcycles around town a few times and he had seen the Mohawk-guy on several occasions. Only twice had he seen Kurt and it bugged him.

First time he saw him after the incident at the gym was a late Thursday night. It was just before midnight and Blaine's brother was in town. He and his brother Cooper had been in Westerville for a concert at Dalton and they stopped for gas on their way home.

That's when Blaine had seen him. He and the Mohawk guy had been sitting on a table with their motorcycles parked next to them. A couple of crunched up beer cans were lying loosely on the grass by their feet and they had a good stash close. Kurt was chewing gum, loudly popping, while running his fingers through his hair.

"Come on, don't care about them," Cooper said quietly as they walked by them.

Blaine hadn't even noticed how openly he was staring. It was like some sort of magnetism pulled his gaze in Kurt's direction. He already knew that he shouldn't be glancing at them that way. They didn't seem like the kind of people to be too happy about people being too curious, yet he couldn't help it. Even after Cooper dragged him back into the car he turned his head to have another look. A first he thought he saw Kurt looking at their car, but he guessed that he was just imagining things.

The next time he had seen him he had been alone.

It was a Saturday and he had been at the mall with his friend Tina. He was looking for some clothes for a family dinner and she had promised to help him. They were on their way to Tina's house when they walked by a tire shop where Kurt was hanging outside.

Tina nodded at him and he raised an eyebrow but neither said a word. Tina simply sped up and Blaine almost tripped over his own feet when trying to catch one more glance at Kurt.

"Who was that guy?" Blaine asked, not really seeing how Tina knew him as Tina was just as much of a good girl as Blaine was a good boy.

"That's Kurt. He's a senior in McKinley. His dad owns the tire shop. He's really nice, but Kurt's a real jerk," she said flatly and Blaine knew that she felt that her statement was sufficient enough and that there was nothing more to say about that, so Blaine forced himself to keep the questions back.

When they reached Tina's house they fixed lunch and headed for the living room to catch up on TV shows. During a slightly less interesting episode of So You Think You Can Dance? it turned out that it was too hard. He had kept himself in check for over an hour but now he had to ask.

"What do you mean he's a jerk?" He asked, struggling to sound as innocent as possible.

Tina furrowed her eyebrows and stared puzzled at him. Obviously she had forgot that they had walked by Kurt earlier.

"Kurt. What did he do?" It was hard not to sound too interested. He was merely curious. Curious to know who he was, why Tina thought he was a jerk, what he was like. If his hair might be as soft as it looked.

"Oh him. Well, it's just the way he is. He always hangs out with Puck, and they spend their time drinking, smoking and harassing the younger students. He wasn't always like that, though -" she said and returned her attention to the TV.

That wasn't fair. She couldn't just act like she had explained it all now. Not when she had actually raised so many more questions than she had answered.

"What do you mean?" He tried again, now stubborn to not let it go. He was sure he couldn't be as bad as she made him sound. Even if he was he was sure there was a perfectly well explanation.

"He had a tough time. He's mom died when he was 6. There was this guy who bullied him really bad, and he was through some really rough bullying when he came out -" she started but Blaine cut her off.

"He's gay?" He burst out before he even knew it. That was a turn of events he hadn't foreseen.

"Yeah. He was tossed into dumpsters, pushed into lockers and such things, so he disappeared for a few months. When he came back he was changed. No more sweet, innocent Kurt - now he was hanging out with Puck instead, ditching lessons, showing up drunk in school and talking back at teachers. Why do you even care?"

It seemed like she only now realized how strange it was of Blaine to be so interested in this guy he had never even met.

"I don't. I just - saw him a couple of times and I wondered who he was, that's all," Blaine tried brushing it off casually, but he was painfully aware that as his best friend Tina would see through him.

"You don't have a crush on him, do you? God, Blaine - no. Don't do that to yourself," she said and he knew that she was only trying to look after him.

"A crush on him? Me? No! I don't even know him."

Tina knew him too well to fall for that and he had no idea why he even tried. He couldn't stop thinking about the guy.

"Listen, I know it sucks being single but there will be some guy for you out there. Someone who will be good for you, I promise. Kurt is a jackass and he would chew you up and spit you out if you ever got too close. Don't let yourself get into that," she said in a pleading voice and her hand clutching his.

"I don't have a crush on him. He's - handsome, but I don't know him," Blaine continued to argue regardless of how lost the battle clearly was.

Tina didn't believe him for a second and he didn't blame her. His face was boiling and he was pretty sure he was scarlet. He had never liked anyone before so he had no idea how powerful the feeling was, but the feelings that bubbled inside of him when he saw Kurt couldn't be ignored.

"Besides - he's a smoker. Like, a lot. If you got too close to him your asthma would kill you," she said as-a-matter-of-factly and let her eyes back to the screen.

There was nothing more to be said in the case Tina vs. Blaine regarding the knowledge of Kurt, the fallen angel.

xXx

He knew that he was being a little idiotic. Okay, maybe he was a gigantic idiot, but he needed to do it. He needed to see him - so Blaine made sure to walk by the tire shop as often as possible, or pick up Tina at school when he was off before her, sometimes he even walked by the gas station to see if he could catch a glimpse.

Sometimes Kurt was at the tire shop working on his motorcycle out front or smoking cigarettes while talking to Puck or some of the guys in grey jumpsuits. His hair was always as perfect as it had been the first time Blaine had seen him and he started wondering how he kept it so groomed when he wore a helmet on his bike.

He never saw him at the gas station or at McKinley though. He had a feeling that Tina perfectly well knew why he wanted to pick her up, but she never said anything. He had seen her looks and that was enough.

The first Monday after Blaine had ended school and was off for the summer he nearly had a heart attack. He was at the gym getting changing clothes to go boxing when lightning hit.

Puck and Kurt entered the changing room. Blaine hurried to hide behind the open door of his locker, but he kept sneaking glances after them. They settled down a few lockers from Blaine's so there was no way he could walk by them without being seen. Not that they knew who he was, but the thought of Kurt seeing him in his sweats made him dizzy. Not in the good way.

There was no one but them in the room and he struggled to be as slow as possible. Hopefully they would be done before him and he wouldn't have to walk straight past them.

"So you're coming Friday, huh?" Puck asked a bit down, and Blaine knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help eavesdropping.

"I might. If I don't find something better to do," Kurt said, once again sounding like he was bored. Maybe nothing interested him at all.

Blaine started fumbling with his phone to look as if he was occupied in case they should notice he was even in the room. He didn't think they had even seen him, but he wouldn't want to be caught listening to their conversation, yet he needed to know where it was Kurt might be going.

"Why do you even wanna go to Scandal's anyway?" He heard Kurt ask as he pushed something loudly into his locker.

Blaine knew it was risky, but he snuck a peek around his locker door and he nearly choked. That had been a bad idea.

Kurt was only in his boxers. All black, super tight, all of his muscles as perfect as had he been flexing. His skin was just as pale and flawless on the rest of his body as it was on his face. His hair was a bit ruffled from he had pulled his shirt over his head, and he was staring at Puck with his chin cocked up.

"It's Bi Friday - means more ladies for me, at once -" Puck grinned and Kurt raised his eyebrows like the pieces fell into place.

"Hey - are you eavesdropping, dude? Stop peeking at the family jewels," Puck suddenly snapped and when Blaine realized the remark was meant for him he nearly fell backwards.

"I… no. I wasn't -" he tried getting out, but instead he hurried to smack his locker shut and rushed out of the room.

"Pervert," he heard Puck snicker right before he closed the door after him.

That had to be the most embarrassing thing he had done in his life. He nearly ran through the gym to the boxing studio so he didn't have to face anyone. There was no question that his face was flaming and he was already sweating.

He hoped to god that they wouldn't come into the boxing area, because he wasn't sure he would be able to live through that. He couldn't take in the idea of Kurt having seen that he was looking at him.

For over an hour he was punching merciless at the sandbag. He needed to get his embarrassment out somehow and this was the best way he knew how to. There was also the fact that he was deadly scared to return to the changing room. Not only was there a potential risk that he would have to walk by Kurt and Puck on the way, what would be even worse was if they were back in the changing room as well. Possibly showering.

Fuck.

When his arms started feeling like acid was pulsing through his veins he quit the punching back. Instead he went to the cross trainers - in the area where usually only girls worked out. He simply wanted to kill time until he was sure he wouldn't be faced with them again.

He didn't. When he walked back to the changing room he didn't see them and they weren't out there. After he had changed, no showering though, he didn't even see their motorcycles as he left the gym.

At night he couldn't fight the image off. He tossed and turned in his bed, opened and closed his eyes, pushed the covers away and pulled them back on; he simply couldn't sleep. All he saw was Kurt.

The outlines of the muscles on his back, his strong thighs, and the way his pink nipples were strutting when he turned his side on Blaine. Yet, what was strongest in his mind was how sharp his eyes were - a mix of blue and green shining from his face. A lock of hair had been hanging down his forehead, and the light brown had been a perfect contrast to the color of his eyes.

Scandal's. He had to go to Scandal's. He had to see him again.

xXx

Blaine started researching what he could about Scandal's. He had heard about it. The politicians in Lima were very much against it which gave the club a lot of free publicity on TV and newspaper frontpages. That was all he could find though. That, and the address on Yellow Pages. They didn't even have a website.

It didn't matter though. Regardless of what he could have found on that website he would still be going anyway. He needed to see Kurt again. He had to.

He felt lame, and he would never admit it to Tina, but when he had found out that Puck wasn't gay, therefore not Kurt's boyfriend, he had felt relieved. He knew that someone like Kurt would never take the slightest interest in someone like him, yet he still couldn't take the thought of Kurt being with someone else.

"I was thinking that maybe I could come to your place on Friday and we could watch Rent and sing along to all the songs," Tina suggested casually.

They were sitting by the fountain in the mall trying to get through their pretzels. Tina had needed sympathy-shopping as her boyfriend, Mike, was out of town for a college interview so Blaine had gladly offered his assistance.

"I uhm - I can't Friday," Blaine said, doing his best to shrug it off best possible to avoid any questions - they would come anyway, though. He knew that.

Tina stared at him confounded. He couldn't blame her. He never did anything Friday nights and if he did she would know, because it would usually be with her, or it would be something with his glee club The Warblers. He told her everything - at least he used to.

"Oh… what will you be doing then?" She asked and took a sip of her soda, her eyes wide with confusion and curiosity.

He looked around himself, searching for an excuse to not return her eyes but ended up having to stare into the fountain instead. He could feel that he did not seem casual which would probably lead to explanation problems.

"Nothing. I just have… stuff, to do," he tried, knowing he was working himself steadily towards shaking ground and it wouldn't be long until he had to cave and tell her.

"Stuff? What stuff?" She was starting to get suspicious. She knew that there was a reason he was withholding information on the upcoming Friday, and she had probably guessed what the reason was.

As if on cue Kurt walked casually by them. He was wearing tight black jeans, mirror aviators and a studded denim vest over a loose, white t-shirt with worn out converse. As always his hair looked soft andhis skin was perfectly pale and smooth. It was impossible for Blaine not to stare after him. The way he walked looked like he knew that he was better than the rest of them and surely like he had much better stuff to do than stroll around a mall in Ohio.

"Blaine! You're staring!" Tina burst out and nudged him in the rib, nearly making him drop his bottle of water, instead choking on it.

He spat out water and gasped to breathe when he realized Kurt had turned his head to look. He rolled his eyes before he turned away and continued wherever he was headed. He still had seen the scene though and Blaine felt his face grow red and he wanted to kill Tina.

There was water everywhere. Down his cardigan, over his chinos, even staining his shoes. Of course he had managed to make a fool of himself in front of Kurt. Again. Not that Kurt even knew who he was, but he didn't care - now wasn't exactly the time to have him remember his face.

"Seriously, are you still gooing over Kurt? You need to stop that. You're only gonna get hurt," Tina sighed and offered him a pack of tissues as she started trying to clean up the worst of the mess they had caused.

"I'm not… gooing," Blaine tried, but knew that he might as well come clean. She was his best friend and she knew Kurt - at least she did once. If anything he could maybe get her to help him be close to him.

The thing was that Blaine didn't want to talk to Kurt, he was way too scared to even consider the thought. If he was ever faced with a situation where he didn't have any other choice than to have a conversation with him he would swallow his tongue.

No, all he wanted was to see him. Look at him. Not in a creepy way, just simply admire his beauty from afar. Whenever Blaine had walked by the tire shop and he had been hanging outside his day had magically turned better and he was sure that it was because Kurt was so enchanting.

He couldn't stop wondering how he was. If he acted just as tough when he was home with his family or if he was a completely different person. He wondered what had happened since he had transformed from the innocent boy to the bullying punk, what kind of bullying he had been through and how it had affected him.

Even more Blaine imagined how it would be to actually talk to him. In a crazy school boy fantasy. At first he had only imagined how it would be to casually talk to him about stuff like borrowing a lighter or apologizing for bumping into him.

Later it evolved to bigger things; like how they could maybe find something to connect over. He had no idea what that would be, motorcycles probably as he and Cooper had spent hours of helping their dad working on cars and motorcycles in the garage at home.

Now it was way more complicated. Sometimes Blaine could lie in his bed and imagine that he would casually talk to Kurt and slowly he would open up to him. That Kurt would tell him how he had ended up being this way, and put trust in Blaine enough for them to bond and eventually Kurt would kiss him.

Stupid, idiotic, non-realistic, school-boy fantasies.

"Blaine. Every time you see him you practically sigh. You can't really hide it from me," Tina said and collected the now-soaked tissues in a pile on the tile between them.

"Of course, he's really… hot," Blaine said and rolled his eyes.

"It's just… I really like watching him. When he smokes or when he walks. The way his hair always looks like something suited for Dean Martin is just so -"

"Breathtaking?" She ended his sentence with a suppressed giggle, and oh god yes was he ever so breathtaking, but that wasn't exactly what he was ever planning on saying.

"I was thinking more like cool," he groaned and had to hold in the stream of adjectives screaming in the back of his mind.

Beautiful, dashing, perfect, soft, gorgeous.

Tina kept staring a him. She was only waiting for him to be honest with her and he felt guilty that he wasn't. In all honesty he wanted to talk about Kurt all the time, he want to milk Tina for information about him in a way of finding out as much about him as he possibly could. He wanted to know all there was, and he wanted to see him all the time. He just wanted a way to get close to Kurt.

"So what if I like him? It's not like he would ever want to be with me anyway," Blaine muttered under his breath and he wasn't sure if Tina looked like she was displeased with him or if she felt sorry for him.

"He should be so lucky. You'll get over it. Just stay away from him and you'll forget him in no time," she encouraged and squeezed an arm around his shoulders.

xXx

The next couple of days Blaine was considering how to do his expedition to Scandal's the best way. He was uncertain what to wear to be sure he wouldn't look too young, but he didn't want to attract too much attention either. He wasn't even sure he was going to go inside. Maybe he would just stay outside and hope for a glimpse of Kurt.

He still hadn't told Tina about it, but he was slowly being more casual about how interested he was in Kurt. He could feel that she wasn't being too thrilled about it, but whenever he was sneaky enough to turn their conversation in that direction she would go along with it, Blaine eagerly swallowing whatever she could tell him.

That wasn't much, though. All she told him was that the guy who had bullied him had turned out to have a crush on him in a way she wouldn't go into further details about. She also told him that his dad had a heart attack when he was in his junior year, a few months before his transformation.

That was all she told him.

Blaine started gradually feeling more and more sorry for him. Not only had he lost his mom at a very young age, he had also been through all kinds of other life-changing terrors.

If this had been a Hollywood movie he would be Julia Roberts in the form of a prostitute or a junkie right now, Blaine thought to himself with his throat tying up.

As Friday slowly dragged itself away Blaine started getting nervous. He had no idea what to do. Showing up alone in a club was horribly awkward and he didn't even have a fake ID in case he would need one.

He had just finished his shower and was putting last touch to his hair when his phone rang. It was Tina. Of course it was.

"You never told me what you were doing tonight? I saw your parents leave, so don't use the family excuse," her voice sounded without as much as a greeting from the other end of the phone.

"I'm just… going out," Blaine stammered knowing this wouldn't be elaborate enough for her. He was right.

"Out where? Blaine, it's not because I wanna pry or something, I just have this weird feeling," Tina sighed. He could hear that she was genuinely nervous, something Tina never was - because she never had a reason to.

Blaine kicked his paperbasket lightly, but ended up tripping it over and paper were all over the rug. He sighed heavily and sat down to pick it up when Tina stared talking again.

"Blaine? There's something you're not telling me and I don't like it," she persisted. Damn having been friends with her forever so she knew everything.

"Alright! I'm going to Scandal's okay?" He growled and gave up on the papers covering the floor.

Instead he got back to his feet and started fumbling around his closet to find something that didn't put him of as a good boy - but it was impossible. All he found was button-downs, cardigans and bowties.

"Scandal's? What are you - don't tell me, this is about Kurt, right?"

"So what if it is? I just wanna see him. Just… see him," Blaine finally caved in. He knew he was a bit harsh on her. She was only trying to help, but who said that he needed her concern? He could take care of himself. It wasn't like he was going to hang out with them or anything.

"Blaine - you can't just…"

"I have to get ready. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?" He hung up. He had never hung up on her like that, but he knew that if he stayed on the phone with her he would never go anywhere. She would do anything to keep him hanging.

xXx

Blaine parked a bit away from the club. He didn't want his car in the parking lot, because he never knew if someone he knew would drive by they would recognize it. He didn't want anyone to know he was there.

It was a bit chill but it didn't matter. He had settled for wearing a pair of blue jeans, a blouse with red and white stripes and blue converse. That way he figured he wouldn't stand too much out in the crowd.

When he finally reached the entrance a huge group of people was standing outside. There was a great mix of all kinds of people. He immediately felt like he was way too young to be there, but did his best to navigate through the crowd. There were no motorcycles so he figured that he had to try and get inside to see if Kurt was there.

He was lucky. He wasn't even asked for ID so he hurried inside before he doorman changed his mind. He kept a tight grip around his asthma inhalator in one pocket and his phone in the other. He had no idea what to expect or where to go, but he guessed that following the stream of people would be the best way to get around it.

The club was small and dark. The music was loud, 80's style, and nobody seemed like they even noticed him there. Blaine took a look around but there was no hint of Kurt or Puck anywhere so he figured he would sit down by a small table in a corner. From there he had a pretty good view over the room.

After an hour he started to suspect that Kurt might not even show up. He did sound like he wasn't too interested when he had heard them discuss it. The dance floor had crowded up, and on more than one occasion had guys asked Blaine to dance but he had politely declined. If Kurt wasn't there he might as well go home.

Out of nowhere Puck's Mohawk showed by the bar. He was surrounded by a group of girls, arms around two of them, a beer in the hand and a smug smile covering his lips.

If Puck was there, there might still be a chance of Kurt either being there or coming later. A spark of hope sprung back to Blaine and he found a more comfortable position on the chair he had been occupying all night.

It was only five minutes before he saw Kurt's perfect hair over a couple dancing way too close and slow for the music playing. Blaine's heart started throbbing and he felt himself nearly jump in the chair.

Kurt was wearing a pair of trashed jeans with holes at the thigh right above the knee and a hole right under his ass, a black Iron Man t-shirt, the studded leather jacket and a pair of simple blue converse.

He looked to Puck and shot him a grin with raised eyebrows, he leaned against the bar and the bartender brought him a beer before he turned around to watch the dance floor. A guy came over and whispered something to Kurt, making Blaine's heart run even faster. Kurt smiled teasingly and ran a finger down the guy's chest before he turned around and the guy looked like Kurt had just said something gravely offensive to him - which he probably had. Blaine snickered to himself.

He couldn't quite comprehend how someone like this could look like that. If he really was as horrible a person as Tina said that he was, wouldn't he look more… bad? Sure, he always looked like he didn't care about anyone or anything, and he always looked like he was sick of being where he was - but did that mean he was a bad person?

"He's a bully. He harasses the younger kids," Tina's voice echoed in the back of his mind, but Blaine pushed it away.

Blaine kept observing him. Kurt talked a bit to Puck, occasionally shot out a remark to some of the girls surrounding Puck and flirted with the bartender. Other guys walked by him, tried flirting with him, but he clearly wasn't interested as he let them all down.

After around 40 minutes Blaine panicked. Kurt had left the bar and was headed towards the exit. Was he leaving? He couldn't just leave now, he had only been there less than an hour. He could see nothing else to do than get off his chair and run after him.

Right as he got outside he looked around to find him but he couldn't see anything but a group of drag queens in way too high platforms. Right as he was about to give up he saw Kurt disappear around the corner of the building so Blaine followed him.

He could hear his voice right at the other side of the wall so Blaine stayed by the corner, listening to him talk. After a minute it became clear that he was on the phone, and Blaine kept telling himself that he should be quiet. He couldn't stand the thought of Kurt catching him eavesdropping on him again.

"…it's fine, dad. I'll be home soon, I promise. I'll just tell Puck I'm leaving. You okay now?" Kurt's said, and Blaine felt a lump in his throat.

Apparently he was talking to his dad. Hadn't Tina said that his dad was sick, or had been sick or something like that? Maybe something was wrong.

He didn't get to think any further about it though, because a whiff of cigarette smoke blew into Blaine's face and he accidentally inhaled it. Hell was loose.

His throat started tying up, his eyes started watering and he couldn't stop coughing loudly. Damn the coughing was loud. He leaned against the wall, but no matter what it wouldn't stop. He fumbled around but his hand refused to find its way into his pocket.

"What the hell? Are you snooping on me?"

Fuck!

Blaine had slipped down to sit on the ground against the wall and Kurt was standing in front of him. Towering over him like a giant shadow. Blaine nearly couldn't make out his features from the tears in his eyes fighting to run down his face, but there was nothing he could do. He was completely helpless.

"You're the same guy lurking on me at the gym? Are you like stalking me or something?" Kurt kept going.

He was angry, shocked and Blaine only waited for him to kick him or punch him straight in the gut. He did deserve it. Right now he was just way too dizzy and pained to as much as apologize.

He finally got his inhalator out and sucked in as hard as he could. Again and again but it didn't feel like it helped. He was heaving for air, gasping and panting and he was sure his face was crimson red.

Kurt didn't say anything. He was holding his hands on his hips, staring down on him and Blaine was happy that he couldn't see his face. There was nothing he would like better at the moment than to dissolve into a puddle on the pavement under him.

"Are you done?" Kurt asked as Blaine's coughing started slowing down.

He nodded frantically and forced himself to stand up. His throat felt like sandpaper and his eyes were still watering. To Kurt it had to be looking like he was crying, which definitely didn't strength his situation.

He supported against the wall as he took another suck from his inhalator, hoping for it to take the last away, but he still felt like he was having a fever.

"Well - what the hell are you doing? Are you some kind of pervert? You look like you're 12," Kurt snapped, crossing his arms and running his eyes up and down Blaine with a wrinkled nose.

"I'm 17 - and I'm not… stalking you," Blaine gushed out, nearly impossible to say a word.

Kurt raised his eyebrows and looked to his inhalator in his hand before back to Blaine's face where tears were drying up.

"You could have fooled me. You're like everywhere! What the hell do you want from me?" He asked, his voice like acid and his blue eyes freezing.

Blaine drew in a heavy breath, hoping to keep away the next storm of coughs building up in the back of his throat.

"I'm gonna…"

He started to leave, but he didn't get anymore out before he was coughing like crazy again.

Kurt's arms dropped and he took a short step closer to Blaine, and when he looked at him Kurt looked like he didn't know whether to keep being angry or if he should do something else.

"Where's your friends? Get them to take you to the hospital," he said, his tone still hard but the acid wasn't as piercing as before.

"…alone." Blaine thrust out between coughs and shook his head.

"Dammit!" Kurt groaned and walked to Blaine's side and grabbed his arm hard with one hand.

"Do you have a car?" He bit, and followed he direction Blaine bobbed his head in.

He was strong. Like crazy strong. Blaine's arm was paining even before they left the parking lot, but he ignored it. Even if he was to have a bruise in the morning he didn't care. Kurt was following him to his car.

When they reached Blaine's car Kurt opened the passenger seat for him and pushed him in to sit before sitting in the driver's seat himself.

Blaine kept coughing and sucking on his inhalator. He was perplexed. He had never had an asthma attack as strongly as this before. That was one of the reasons he even started at the gym - to avoid coughing his lungs out in every-day-situations.

When they were almost at the hospital the coughing slowed down again. Blaine rested his head against the cold window and let the chill breeze from Kurt's open window fill his lungs best possible.

He was embarrassed, so incredibly embarrassed. He had really meant it when he said that he wasn't planning on talking to him, that he just wanted to see him. He knew that if he ever was face-to-face with Kurt he would embarrass himself greatly, but he had never imagined this at all.

When they reached the emergency room Blaine was still coughing lightly and they were pointed to a couple of free seats in a corner. Kurt started to leave, but the nurse at the reception asked Blaine if he had anyone he could call and he shook his head. His parents were out of town for the weekend and Cooper wasn't home. At this time Tina would have gone to bed - he had no one.

The nurse sent Kurt a sharp glance and he groaned dissatisfied before following Blaine to the uncomfortable chairs in the corner.

Blaine rested his head against the wall, clenching his inhalator strongly in a grasp with his hand on his thigh to make sure it was right there if he needed it again.

"So… why the hell are you following me?" Kurt asked and started flipping through a magazine he found on a table.

He quickly gave it up though and threw it casually back where he found it. He rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose as he looked around on the other patients waiting.

"I'm not… following you," Blaine maintained with a rasp voice, wiping his eyes to make sure he didn't look like he was crying anymore.

Kurt stared at him in disbelief. His lips formed a thin line over his face and his arms were back to crossed over his chest.

"Quit the act, kid. I've seen you staring after me a million times. You're always where I am, so you might as well tell me what your problem is," he snapped.

Wait, was he amused? Was that a tint of a smile playing on his lips?

Blaine didn't reply. He stared at the inhalator in his hand, debating whether or not to lie again or to fake a heart attack.

He coughed a little again, this time not as bad as the previous times and he felt blessed. He didn't want to screw up anymore than he already had.

He couldn't believe this was happening. He was in the emergency room - and Kurt was sitting next to him. He wanted to turn to his side and stretch out to feel if his skin really was as smooth as it looked, or if his hair really was as soft as it appeared.

"I just… think you're - interesting," Blaine finally muttered, hoping he could avoid Kurt's eyes.

"So you think I'm hot?" Kurt asked, and Blaine could feel that Kurt was staring. He could feel his eyes on his face, and his cheeks had to be in flames if the temperature was anything to judge by.

"No I… I mean yes, but… you're really hot, but… fuck!"

He prepared to hide. Under a chair, behind an old lady - anything.

"My friend told me about you, and I just… I don't know, okay?" He finally thrust out, sick of circling around it. He couldn't exactly tell him that he liked him - he didn't know him at all, so that would possibly classify him as a pervert.

"You friend? Who's your friend?"

He didn't sound angry now, merely… curious.

"Tina Cohen-Chang," Blaine said, now his voice hard.

He was sick of this. He just wanted to go home and sleep. He knew that in the morning Tina would ask and he would have to tell her everything only to listen to her song of "I told you so." Really not what he wanted to face at the moment. He was sure his chest had never felt as tensed as in this moment, and his face had never felt as flaming. He had never been so ashamed of himself.

"Oh… Tina," Kurt mumbled and looked like something fell in place.

"Blaine Anderson," a doctor called from the other end of the room and Blaine nearly jumped.

He got to his feet and walked awkwardly towards the doctor but the doctor didn't go when he got there, he was staring at Kurt.

"You're underage, is that your guardian? Is he over 18?" The doctor asked.

Kurt looked like a deer caught in headlights before he growled under his breath. He grabbed his jacket from the armrest and got to his feet. Blaine could feel him follow them into the examination room.

Blaine was told to sit down and Kurt leaned against the wall while staring at him.

The doctor asked a series of questions that he had been over uncountable times before after asthma attacks so he already knew the drill. That's when the worst part came. The doctor asked him to take off his shirt so he could listen to his lungs.

Kurt snickered at him.

Fuck.

After a few seconds of incomparable embarrassment he finally pulled his shirt off over his head and did his best to cover his front while the doctor examined his back. Only now he had to move around to his chest.

The metal of the stethoscope was painfully cold on his skin and chills filled his entire body. Naturally his nipples grew stiff, why wouldn't they? As much salt as could be added to the wound of his shame was needed.

When the doctor was done he rushed his shirt back on and looked away from Kurt as good as he could. He had no intentions on ever facing him again because this had to be the most humiliating thing he had ever experienced in his entire life.

The doctor told him that he was okay but that he should stay away from smoking causing a loud grump from Kurt. He was told to keep his inhalator close at all times and that he could go home.

He got to his feet and Kurt prepared to leave.

"Also, you should be under observation the next 30 hours - just in case something should happen and you can't call for help," the doctor said right as Kurt opened the door.

"But… my parents are out of town for the entire weekend," Blaine groaned and figured it would be easier for him to drown himself in a toilet on the way out.

"You don't have any friends or anyone who can come stay with you?" The doctor asked worried.

"No. Not now," Blaine said defeated and watched the panic spread on Kurt's face as the doctor looked to him.

"How about you, young man? You can't help out a friend for a few hours?" The doctor sounded judgmental.

"He's not my… okay, I'll fucking do it!" Kurt whined complaining and sent Blaine a glance that Blaine swore he could feel burn his skin.

They left the emergency room and Kurt pointed towards the passenger seat. Apparently he was the one in charge.

"Your parents better pay good babysitting money. Where do you live, Stalker?" Kurt growled, his voice back to acid as they drove out to the main road.

xXx

When they pulled into the driveway Blaine was happy that he for once had remembered to clean his room when his mom had told him to. Not only was Kurt going to be in his house, but if his room had been a war zone it would only have made this weekend perfect.

He had only been coughing lightly since they left the hospital and his throat didn't hurt as much anymore, even his voice wasn't as rasp as it was only a few hours before which he greatly appreciated. He could not stand the thought of Kurt seeing him go through that again.

It was around 1.30 when Blaine turned on the lights in the kitchen. He noticed Kurt looking around, seeming like he was hiding an impressed expression, but neither of them said anything.

"I don't know if you… like… what you want? Sleep or something?" Blaine asked awkwardly and stopped in the middle of the kitchen without knowing what to do about himself. He wanted to look at Kurt, but he was scared to do so - what if Kurt was used to something more extravagant?

"Sleep? How would I hold you under observation if I was asleep?" Kurt pointed out, making Blaine feel stupid and his cheeks flush.

"Alright. That makes sense -we could go to my room and watch TV?" He suggested instead, shrugging to show that he was open to possibilities - not that he could see much possibilities for stuff to do at his house, especially at this hour, but he didn't want Kurt to think that he was planning on them sitting around doing nothing all night.

At first Kurt looked shocked. Then he raised an eyebrow and suspicion crept over his face.

"You're not going to drug and rape me are you? Cause then I will hurt you," he warned.

Blaine was surprised. Not over what he said, because that he had sort of expected. What he was surprised about was the way he couldn't figure out whether Kurt was joking or not. It seemed too much of a wish that Kurt would be standing in his kitchen joking with him, especially after he had just ruined his night.

"I'm not going to rape you, and I doubt we have anything stronger in the house than ginger and whiskey. Besides, if it ever came to that I box -" He thrust out the last sentence and immediately wanted to kick himself. He had no idea why he had said that - his time of having a remote chance to impress Kurt was definitely over long ago anyway.

"Let's just… this way," he hurried to say and guided Kurt towards the stairs in the hall. As he turned around the corner he saw Kurt staring at him with a glance he couldn't decipher.

As he turned on the lights in his room he immediately saw the pile of clothes he had forgot on his bed. He rushed to pick it all up in one armful and dumped it on his chair.

"You forgot this," Kurt said and held out a green bowtie with white dots between two fingers. He looked like he was examining the fabric very closely as if he had never seen such a thing before.

"Oh… thanks," Blaine muttered and grabbed the bowtie to put it on top of the rest of the clothes.

When he turned back he found Kurt lying on his bed without as much as having got rid of his shoes. He looked like he couldn't really make up his mind about the bedspread and the mountain of pillows, but on the other hand he still looked like he wasn't planning on ever moving again.

Blaine turned on the TV and sat down at the corner of the bed. He put the remote between them to indicate for Kurt that he could grab it as well if he wanted. He didn't want to move too close though, Kurt had already labeled him as his stalker and asked him if he was planning on raping him so sitting too close probably wouldn't be the best tactic to go with.

Some makeover show was running on the screen but Blaine didn't really pay attention. The fact that Kurt was in his house, in his room, was taking up way too much of his brain-capacity to let him focus on anything.

"When I said I would beat you up I only meant if you tried raping me. You can sit next to me if you want. Stalker," Kurt said dryly behind Blaine and he felt his insides tie up. He didn't dare look at him - what should he expect to see?

Ugh, what if I fall asleep and accidentally roll over to his side? He'll kill me!

"Come on. I don't bite… unless you're into that stuff, but then we'll have to discuss price ranges and I have a hard time believing you can afford me. Unless daddy pays your credit card," Kurt said coolly, his eyes locked on the screen.

Blaine felt his face go red and he considered opening a window. Maybe he should just have called Tina instead. That would probably have been a lot easier.

He looked back to the pillows by the headboard and considered it for a bit before he stood up to walk to the head end of the bed instead. He sat down, as close to the side as possible, and crossed his arms over his stomach. Determined to let Kurt know that he wasn't planning on trying anything.

They returned to watching the TV in silence. After a short moment Kurt grabbed the remote and started flipping through the channels until he found a newly started episode of CSI.

Neither of them said anything and all that could be heard in the house were the sounds from the TV. For a moment Blaine was afraid that he was going to fall asleep, but was brought back to conscious by Kurt kicking off his shoes.

"So… what did Tina say about me?" He suddenly asked, startling Blaine as he was starting to suspect he had fallen asleep.

Shit. I can't tell him. Either he'll kill me or Tina - or both of us.

"Uhm… nothing really. She didn't really say anything," he lied his best, hoping that as Kurt didn't know him he wouldn't be able to see through it.

He was wrong.

"Well, you said that Tina had told you about me - so either you were lying back then and you will have to elaborate that now, or you are lying now and you still have time to save it. Which one is it?"

Damn he's good. I'm sorry Tina, I don't have a choice.

"She just… she just said that you had a tough time." At least he tried to save it on the way. Didn't that at least count for something?

He wanted to look at Kurt to see his reaction. See how his face looked when it hit him that people said that about him. He was too scared to so he kept his eyes locked on the screen.

"I'm fine. Nothing's wrong with me," Kurt snapped sharply and shifted his weight on the pillows before he took off his leather jacket and let it drop to the floor.

"No one said there was. She just… said that you've been through a lot. That's all," Blaine argued, feeling like he should be defending Tina.

Now that he thought about it she never did say that anything was wrong with Kurt. She simply said that he had a rough life with a lot of horrible experiences and some day he changed.

Kurt didn't respond. Blaine dared to sneak a glance and he was still staring flatly on the show on the TV. However, it didn't seem like he was focusing at all. His eyes were glassy and distant.

"I'm fine. I don't need people's pity or anything," he suddenly exclaimed after a moment of silence.

Blaine turned it over in his head. He hadn't said anything about pity - but he did. He did feel sorry for Kurt because of he things he had been through even though he didn't really know anything about it.

"I don't pity you," he lied, feeling that was appropriate in the moment.

"She just said that you were very talented and bright, and she thinks it's a shame that you've thrown it away," Blaine argued, doing his best to make sure there was no chance Kurt would be confronting Tina about this.

The atmosphere in the room had changed. Not that there even was any atmosphere before, but now it felt tensed, like Kurt was holding something in.

On the screen the CSI team was on the edge of solving the crime in a lab filled with exploding puppets filled with blood-looking substances. One by one the puppets exploded and filled a glass cage with blood-spatter. Always a good way to lull yourself into sleep.

"Talented my fucking ass," Kurt snorted next to Blaine.

"She… uhm… Tina mentioned that you were in glee club together a few years ago. She said that you were the best performer in your group."

He figured he might as well try explaining Kurt that it was true. That Tina would never say something like that if she didn't mean it.

"She even said that in a lot of ways you were a much better singer than that Jewish girl. And she praises her to the stars constantly," Blaine said quietly, not wanting to cross any boundaries, or dig too deep in the subject if Kurt didn't want to talk about it.

"She said I was better than Rachel?" Kurt asked, and somehow his voice sounded different.

"Yeah. I couldn't remember her name, but that's what she said… my glee club was up against theirs for sectionals last year and she was pretty good so… you must be really great," he said, trying to steer the conversation back to how Tina insisted on Kurt being talented.

Kurt groaned a bit indifferent from next to Blaine and he figured that he shouldn't talk anymore so he kept shut and watched how CSI Nick and Greg arrested a guy by letting his own dog bite him so he couldn't run from them.

When the credits rolled over the screen Kurt asked for the way to the bathroom. At first Blaine feared that he was getting tired of hanging out in his room and was going to leave, but then he remembered that he had kicked off his shoes and his jacket was on the floor, so he tripped down the hall to show him the door.

As soon as he was back in his room he hurried to put away the clothes on the chair before he started pulling off his jeans so he could drag on a pair of way more comfortable pajama pants. He only got to lie back down when Kurt entered the room again.

He shot a look up and down Blaine when he realized he had changed his pants before he dumped back down. He found the remote and started running through the channels again. When he apparently didn't find anything interesting he growled loudly before he turned off the TV and threw the remote to the other end of the bed.

"As TV sucks and it's your fault I'm stuck here I guess it's your responsibility to entertain me so I don't fall asleep and can't watch over you," he exclaimed and shot Blaine a glance.

Shit. What the hell is he expecting now? I am not singing and dancing for him!

"Uhm… alright. I guess. What did you have in mind?" Blaine asked cautiously, ready to decline a way too inappropriate suggestion.

"I figure you don't have anything fun we can smoke? Or that your daddy doesn't have a liquor cabinet we can rob?" Kurt proposed, but he didn't really seem like he hoping for it to be.

"No. Nothing like that. My parents only drink when they're out or having a fancy dinner at home. We don't keep that stuff in the house, and if we should have something I would get killed if it disappeared," Blaine shrugged and hoped he didn't sound like too much of a prude. In reality he hadn't even tasted alcohol in his life and he didn't want to even consider what Kurt could be referring to when he said 'fun to smoke'.

Kurt sighed heavily and slipped further down on the bed, pillows nearly falling into his face, making his hair fight to break free from its grooming.

He closed his eyes and nearly looked peaceful. The tough façade somehow seemed to melt away, and Blaine felt a need to move closer to him. Maybe he was warm and soft now, instead of cold and hard as he usually appeared to be?

"Are you tired?" Blaine dared to asked, his voice so low that he nearly was whispering.

Kurt turned to lie on his side and suddenly his blue eyes were piercing into Blaine's and it was like he was seeing him in a whole new light.

"Tired? It's only around three. Tell me about yourself instead, maybe that'll get me tired," he said and Blaine suspected that he was suppressing a yawn. In some way he nearly looked delicate and innocent the way he was lying there without anything but himself to show who he was.

"Mhm… there's not really anything to tell," Blaine mumbled, suddenly aware that all spot and focus was on him, and out of nowhere Kurt was showing interest in him. Admittedly because he was trying to keep himself awake, but still -

"When did you come out? Or… are you even out?" Kurt asked directly.

Wow. Blaine tried thinking back to figure out if he had even told Kurt that he was gay, but Kurt stopped him in his train of thoughts.

"Don't look so shocked. You were freaking stalking me. To a gay bar. Also, it's not like you leave anything to the imagination with those outfits you run around in," Kurt remarked dryly, clearly guessing Blaine's thoughts.

"Oh… I…" Blaine started to stammer, but in the end he figured that he'd might as well open. They still had around 27 hours to kill so he could just as well contribute to the entertainment some way.

"I was 14. I was terrified. I started out by telling my brother, but he was a jerk and I couldn't really trust him, so before I knew it my mom knew. She forced me to tell my dad. He didn't talk to me for 4 months," Blaine shared without looking at Kurt.

He didn't know why he had told him that much. All he had asked for was when he came out, not the extended illustrated version.

"Oh… that… sucks," Kurt stuttered, sounding surprised.

"I was 14 too. My dad said he already knew though. Said that he'd always known," Kurt opened and Blaine nearly choked on his tongue. Kurt had willingly shared a piece of information about himself.

"Did he… was he mad?" Blaine asked, uncertain whether he was allowed to ask.

"No. He was cool. My dad's pretty cool." Kurt shrugged. As if that was the most natural thing in the world and no one would have any reason to think otherwise.

"How about your… mom, then?" Blaine asked and only as the words left his mouth he remembered what Tina had told him - Kurt's mom was dead.

"I never told her. She died when I was little so… but I guess she knew just as well as my dad did," Kurt said and suddenly found a great interest in his nails.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," Blaine mumbled and felt guilty. He hadn't wanted to stir up any bad memories and he hated himself for not having stopped it before he asked the question.

"'s cool. I was like… 6, so I wasn't really that affected," he said through a yawn.

"It's still sad," Blaine obtained. He couldn't imagine how it would be to live without his mom. He didn't want to imagine it. His mom was one of the most important people in his life.

"Can we please not talk about my dead mom? When did you start that fancy school?" He asked, and Blaine was shocked. He definitely knew that he hadn't told him about Dalton. There was no chance he would have mentioned that.

"I… how did you know?" He spat out, puzzled.

"The picture on the dresser," Kurt said and pointed towards the picture of Blaine and the other Warblers in their uniforms after they had won their first competition with Blaine as lead. He gave a relieved sigh, happy that he hadn't completely lost it.

"Oh... yeah. Well - I was in another school when I was 14, but then I had to transfer, so I did," he told. He didn't figure Kurt would listen to his dramatic tale of why he transferred. It shouldn't matter any way. It was years ago.

"Why did you transfer then? You got enough of the stench of public school?" Kurt asked with a snicker but silenced when he saw the look on Blaine's face.

"Actually I… it was right after I had come out, and there was this dance at my school. I was a bit insecure, so I asked one of my friends to go with me. He was gay too, so we figured that we could sort of stick together. We got beat up. I was in the hospital for three weeks," Blaine said and let his eyes flicker quickly over Kurt's horrified expression before he moved his attention to the bedspread.

"That's so - fucked up. Were you badly hurt?" Kurt asked, and Blaine thought he could hear concern in his voice, but he didn't dare looking back on him.

"Like I said; I was in the hospital for three weeks. They broke my wrist, and I… dislocated my shoulder, and my face looked like - something out of a horror movie."

Blaine sighed. Now he knew exactly how Kurt felt. He didn't want people's pity, he didn't want Kurt's pity - he simply wanted this part of his life to be gone and forgotten.

"I'm sorry. So… did you beat them up? After you started boxing?" Kurt asked, like that was the only logical resolution to the problem.

Blaine couldn't help shot out a chuckle. That was the most screwed up thing he had ever heard - to beat someone up to get revenge because they had beat him up.

"No. I never saw them again. I transferred to Dalton, and then I took up boxing. After I got into the school and started making friends I ended up starting a fight club - which you naturally know nothing about. That was just so I could defend myself if it ever happened again. I don't wanna hurt anyone," Blaine explained, emphasizing how much he didn't seek vengeance over these guys.

Kurt looked like he didn't believe him. He looked like he was turning his words over in his head, tasting them, weighing whether he believed that someone like Blaine could be capable of something like that - and whether he was completely mad for not having killed the guys who beat him and his friend up.

"You know what… you're not so bad, Anderson. That's pretty cool," Kurt finally said and Blaine felt it like a punch in the gut.

Not only had Kurt remembered his name, admittedly only his last name, but he had also said that something he did was cool.

"I swore to myself that if I ever saw the guy who bullied me again I would kill him. Luckily for him he was kicked out of school or I would have finished him completely. I took up fighting for the same reason… only this guy sort of - tried to rape me," Kurt said and gushed.

All blood disappeared from Blaine's face. He had not seen that coming. He had known that something terrible had happened to Kurt, that he had been bullied and had a really hard time, even compared to other victims of bullying, but this he had not expected. He was sure that no one knew about this.

Unable to stop himself Blaine had moved over and put his arm around Kurt to pull him into a hug. It was stupid, reckless even, but he couldn't help it.

"What the hell -" Kurt started to spat out and fell stiff on the bed.

"I'm sorry," Blaine whispered in his ear and did his best to channel all of his emotions into the hug.

Kurt smelled like nothing he had ever been near. A mix of summer rain and cigarettes. His body was warm against Blaine's and even though he was completely paused in a motion he still felt more alive than anyone Blaine had ever hugged in his life.

"If you ever do that again I will slap you," Kurt warned with dark eyes when Blaine pulled away.

Blaine didn't regret it in any way. He could see in Kurt's eyes that he was insecure now. He wasn't as tough anymore, and his lower lip was trembling.

"Maybe we should sleep? I guess if you're dying I will hear you even in my sleep or you can poke me or something. You aren't exactly quiet when you get like that," Kurt snapped and started to get up.

After taking in his words Blaine slowly got up as well. He excused himself and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and when he returned the window was open. Kurt's clothes was in a pile on the floor and he was already under the covers.

Kurt groaned a bit before he turned around and sat up. He stumbled out of the door and down the hall leaving Blaine immobile.

Kurt had been in his bed, Kurt was going to sleep in his bed, in only his underwear. That could not be good. He could already feel his natural, teenage-boy urges press, so he rushed to the closet to pull on an old Dalton t-shirt so he could get in bed before Kurt returned. As loose as his pajama pants were he didn't have any plans on flashing a hard-on to Kurt.

He had only been in bed for a few minutes before the light was turned off and he heard the door close behind him. He could feel the mattress move as Kurt laid down but he didn't dare open his eyes to look at him so he pretended he was asleep.

"I went to five different therapists," Kurt suddenly said quietly out in the room.

Blaine kept his eyes closed. He was afraid that if he opened Kurt would stop talking and he would have ruined his chance of getting him to open up.

"They all told me it was my own fault. That when I chose to be gay I should have known this would happen. About that guy who… tried to rape me," he said thickly.

"That's not true. It could never be your fault," Blaine whispered, eyes still closed, and anticipation simmering in every single nerve and vein in his entire body.

Neither of them said anything. All that was heard was the sound of the wind in the trees in the backyard and the sound of their combined breathing.

"Goodnight, Stalker. If you're dying poke me so I can get you to the hospital. Not planning on waking up next to a corpse," Kurt exclaimed and turned his back on Blaine.

It didn't last long until he was snoring silently and Blaine had to constantly stop himself from reaching out to feel the smooth skin of his back.

xXx

When Blaine woke up he nearly screamed. His room was dark, a chill breeze was filling the room from the open window - and an arm was folded around him while the person had mushed their lips against his shoulders.

It only lasted a moment before he realized that the person in his bed was Kurt.

Cute, handsome, beautiful, gorgeous, badass - and apparently also cuddly and nice-smelling Kurt. The guy Blaine had swooned over for weeks, the guy Blaine had dreamed about at night, yet had to face that he would never even get near - and here he was. Holding him in his sleep.

Never in his life had Blaine been so grateful for his stupid asthma and his stupid inhalator - and for the fact that a doctor had assigned him a babysitter.

However, Blaine was pretty sure that Kurt wouldn't be as amused to wake up with Blaine in his arms as Blaine was himself, so he heavyhearted decided that he had better try to push him away. At least give it a try.

He struggled to turn in Kurt's firm grip so he could lightly push him on the shoulders, but Kurt simply groaned and strengthened his grasp. What was he supposed to do now?

"Kurt? Kurt, you need to - move," Blaine whispered through the dark, amazed at how strong Kurt even was. He knew that he worked out and that he wasn't exactly weak, but wow!

To Blaine's surprise Kurt started moving his lips over Blaine's shoulder. His thumb found its way under the hem of Blaine's t-shirt and started brushing lightly over the cold skin of his now exposed hipbone.

Before Blaine knew it Kurt was pressing kisses to his neck and it would only take him a little twist of his head to catch his mouth with his own. Yet he stayed stiff in his spot and didn't know what to do.

"Kurt. Kurt, you're asleep. Come on, move!" Blaine tried again, softly gripping around Kurt's wrist resting over his waist, but he only fastened his grip in return.

"Kurt, wake up, okay?" Blaine groaned roughly and wriggled his body best possibly.

"Would you just shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride?" Kurt suddenly growled and started at Blaine with dozy eyes.

Out of nowhere Kurt moved to press his lips against Blaine's and it felt like a sun was exploding inside of him. Kurt's lips were in one time soft and hard against his own, and they moved with a lazy, but determined, speed.

Blaine had never kissed anyone before. He was terrified he was doing it wrong so he tried his best, his arms locked down his sides. He was scared to move - if he moved Kurt might stop and go back to sleep instead.

Before Blaine could even think Kurt's arm was under his t-shirt and his fingers had found his nipple. Blaine turned hard in his pants almost instantly and hoped to god that Kurt wouldn't get anywhere near that area.

He did his best to return the kiss and when Kurt bit his lower lip lightly he knew that it was an indication, so he let his lips part and welcomed Kurt's tongue into his mouth.

While their tongues moved together Kurt started massaging Blaine's nipple, making him express an unexpected moan into Kurt's mouth. He could feel that Kurt was grinning against his face and he felt stupid for being so affected by the simple touch.

"If this is going to work you're gonna have to touch me," Kurt said dissatisfied and grabbed around Blaine's hand where he guided it onto his naked torso. He put it on his ribs and as his own hand found its way back to Blaine's nipple Blaine let his hand slide onto Kurt's back.

He was confused and for a moment he considered that he had hit his head during his asthma attack and now he was in some sort of crazy, hallucinating sleep. However, he was pretty convinced that this was too real to be a dream - it felt too good to be all inside his head.

Suddenly Kurt started grinding his crotch against Blaine's and he was clearly hard. From Blaine's mouth a series of light whimpers were streaming out between kisses and his brain felt like it was about to go into cramp. He had no idea what to do, what Kurt wanted him to do, what was expected from someone in a situation like this.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you celibate or something?" Kurt snapped and pulled away from Blaine with a judging look.

Blaine's face was on fire. His hand was still on the smooth, warm skin of Kurt's back, and his erection was painfully throbbing in his suddenly very tight underwear.

"If you don't wanna do this; fine! Then I'm just gonna take care of it myself. Get me some tissues at least," Kurt exclaimed and fell to his back, where Blaine could see his hand started to work under the covers.

Shit. Shit fuck shit! Kurt is in my bed, almost naked - jerking himself off. After he kissed me. And now I'm just lying here staring at him after he… offered himself to me?

Blaine could still feel the burning from Kurt's fingers twisting around his nipple and the taste of beer and cigarettes from Kurt's tongue was still lingering in his mouth like a toxic trying to take over his brain.

"I want to," Blaine heard himself mumble. Kurt's hand stopped moving and he turned to stare at him, his eyes shining through the dark.

"You're a virgin, right?" He asked, his face indifferent and his hand apparently still in his boxers, though he wasn't moving. He was staring sharply and Blaine was well aware that he already knew the answer to the question, he simply wanted the satisfaction of hearing Blaine say it himself.

"Yeah, I… I'm a virgin," Blaine muttered and his eyes darted towards the door. Anywhere. To not look at Kurt as he would surely turn around. Or leave. Or work himself off with Blaine lying there next to him - awkward and ashamed of himself, himself being hard as hell because everything he had ever wanted was in his bed next to him.

Kurt didn't do anything. He stayed still in his spot. He kept his eyes locked on Blaine, but didn't so much as move a muscle, or flicker his eyes.

"Get those ridiculous pajamas off, would you? Such a turn off," Kurt suddenly said, not a clue on his face as to what his plan was.

"I… but -" Blaine started and felt heat rising in his body and his face.

"I am not gonna rape you. Just do it," Kurt told him, this time his voice more assuring and soft than Blaine had ever heard it. He let his hands back up the covers and moved closer. He put his mouth back to Blaine's; this time respectful and chaste.

With their eyes locked Blaine felt Kurt's one hand slide from his shoulder, down his stomach to hook his thumb in the waistband of Blaine's sleeping pants.

"Is this okay?" He asked and waited. Waited for Blaine's approval, his accept - so Blaine nodded carefully before he felt Kurt move his torso in over his own so he could slowly pull down Blaine's pants, leaving his underwear in their place.

As they were completely off Blaine instinctively let his knees meet. He felt naked and exposed. He didn't even shower at the gym and he always did his best to make sure he was alone when he was changing. He was definitely not confident enough about his body.

"Relax. Let yourself ease into it - I don't do this for all the guys, you know," Kurt assured him and his hand was back to Blaine's hip where his thumb was caressing his tensed skin.

"Or for anyone actually," he continued and sent Blaine a smile that he hadn't seen him wear before. It was like there was a guy behind the hard surface that was fighting to peek out in this intimate moment.

Blaine carefully let one hand up to hold on Kurt's wrist on his hipbone. Suddenly the situation that had felt like Kurt desperately needed a fuck had transformed into feeling sweet and innocent.

"Why me then?" Blaine dared to ask, afraid he wasn't allowed to ask any questions, or even talk at all - yet he felt that Kurt owed it to him. Owed him to explain this to him; if he didn't fuck all and none then why him? Was it out of pity because Blaine was a virgin? Was it out of pity because Blaine had been through a somewhat crappy life? Or was it simply because he was in Blaine's bed and needed it instantly?

"Because… believe it or not I actually like you," Kurt said and his cheeks flushed.

His damn, pale, beautiful cheeks flushed. The guy he had been warned about, the guy who had seemed like he was prepared to leave him to die in the middle of the parking lot - the guy who drove a fucking motorcycle - yes, that guy. His pale skin had turned a vague rosy.

"I have seen you… following me around, making sure you were where I was, seen you with Tina - and you sort of caught me," Kurt revealed and out of nowhere he turned his hand around to let his fingers blend into Blaine's.

Blaine's brain clogged up. This was overwhelming, way more than he could take. How could he expect anyone to have a reaction to that? He was making fun of him, the poor, innocent virgin falling in love with a biker - sure he couldn't think he was going to let that go unhumiliated away.

"You're just saying that, aren't you? To get in my pants?" Blaine asked suspiciously, his brows headed to meet at the top of his nose, not letting his hand fall into place with Kurt's.

Kurt's face dropped. He had seen this coming. He looked disappointed, sad even, that Blaine didn't believe his words.

He reached out and pressed a sweet and innocent kiss onto Blaine's lips before slowly pulling away to have a better look at him.

"Remember the other day? When you and Tina walked back to her house and you passed by my dad's tire shop? You had been to the mall, I could tell because you were both carrying bags - you were wearing a green cardigan and a yellow bowtie, am I right?"

Blaine was speechless. That would have been a bit of a longshot if he had been guessing. Only thing was that it was true. That was exactly how it had been. He had been with Tina to the mall to find her a dress for her dinner with Mike's parents, and then they had went back to her house to watch Gossip Girl. Passing by the tire shop as always. He had seen Kurt and awkwardly smiled at him, but quickly looked away to not blush.

"Would I know that if I was only claiming to like you to get into your pants?" Kurt asked patiently and let his hand tryingly squeeze around Blaine's, only this time Blaine squeezed back.

He couldn't breathe, but not in the horrible where-is-my-inhalator-or-I-will-die kind of way. This was the new Kurt-really-likes-me-and-he-is-kissing-because-he-wants-to kind of way.

This time Blaine was the one to stretch out. He arched his neck and was nervous he was doing it wrong, but it didn't really seem to matter at that point. All that mattered was that he was actually even doing it.

Kurt met him with a kiss and he managed to let Blaine fall back to the pillow. He released his hand and made it slide slowly from his hip, over his ribs, his chest, up his shoulder and up to cup Blaine's jaw. He slowly let his tongue back into Blaine's mouth and his time Blaine was ready for it.

Slowly Kurt started to rise on his free arm, making his other hand down Blaine's neck before he let their mouths part and raised his one leg a little in indication.

"Can I?" He asked, waiting with eyes full of something Blaine couldn't detect.

He turned it over in his head. This was the moment where Kurt would find out how hard he was for him - he was wearing underwear, they both were, but that definitely wouldn't be enough to cover it up. Yet, he nodded slightly.

"Are you sure?" Kurt asked again, raising his eyebrow in doubt when Blaine surprised himself just as much as he surprised Kurt and grabbed around his arms to try and drag him closer.

"I am sure," he stammered, the words sounding nowhere near as confident as he felt them.

Kurt bit his lower lip, making everything inside of Blaine twist and turn, before he slowly moved over to nudge Blaine's knees with his own one, forcing him to spread his legs so Kurt could slowly sink into place between them.

Blaine let out a sound that was a mix between a moan and a whimper. He nearly made his hand rush to cover his mouth, but instead he pressed his lips together to a thin line.

"You are really - hard," Kurt groaned as he pressed his crotch hard down onto Blaine's. Kurt was hard himself, resting on his hip next to Blaine's erection and he started fearing that he could possibly come just from the feeling of Kurt against him.

Kurt bent down to kiss Blaine's neck as he slowly started rubbing their crotches together. He supported on his palm against the bed next to Blaine's head, and Blaine appreciated it as he was sure that if Kurt had let himself completely down on him everything would have been wet and sticky within seconds.

Slowly Kurt worked his way up to kiss at Blaine's ear, sparks running through him from the startle of how sensitive his earlobe was. With his free hand Kurt let his fingers into Blaine's hair, forcing their way through the gel, and letting his breathing be a light ghost over his skin.

"Let go. You're doing good. I'm not gonna do anything you don't want to," Kurt whispered gently and nipped around Blaine's earlobe with his hardened lips.

A weak moan ran from the back of Blaine's throat and before he could stop himself his hands were gripping around Kurt's hips. Kurt was smiling at the new action and Blaine was sure it was okay.

"What do you think of when you masturbate?" Kurt asked, his hips still pressing lightly against Blaine's, and he felt like all blood in his entire body was rushing towards his groin like a wildfire.

"I don't -"

"Don't lie. It's okay. I do it too. Just tell me what you think. Maybe I can do it for you. Let it be easier for you now," Kurt encouraged before making his teeth grab a little harder on his earlobe.

"Mhm… fuck! I - I think of… you. Touching me," Blaine finally caved in. As much as he hoped Kurt wasn't planning on looking at him, just as fast were Kurt's eyes back to his.

"If you think of me this is gonna be much easier. No hot Ryan Gosling? No hot Channing Tatum? Maybe you're a little more old school and you're more into James Dean?" Kurt tried and let his hand brush down Blaine's arm to end on his hand that was currently palmed down on the smaller of Kurt's back.

"No. No - just… just you. Kissing me, touching me," Blaine thrust out.

He couldn't believe that he was doing this. Not only was Kurt on top of him, rubbing against him, but he had also made him admit that he thought about him while… touching himself.

It wasn't like it was something he did a lot. He had actually only just started to try it. He had tried it when he was younger, but he felt weird about it so he stopped. Until one day he had walked past the tire shop and Kurt had been hanging outside with Puck. It was a hot day and he had been wearing nothing but a tank top and torn jeans. Everything was covered in grease and his skin was glistening from sweat.

When Blaine had looked at him all he could think about was how much he wanted to run over there and lick a trail up his neck to taste his skin. When he had been in bed that night he couldn't sleep because of the heat and out of nowhere he was moaning Kurt's name into his pillow with his hand down his underwear.

"I've thought about you too," Kurt whispered against his lips, his voice nothing but a mere breathing now.

"Doing stuff like this," he said hushed and out of nowhere his hand was palming against Blaine's underwear, making a wet spot spread through the light cotton.

He pressed a little, not too hard, but enough for Blaine to express a whimper from the friction. He moved his hand a little further south, cupping up Blaine's balls and made him nearly clasp his teeth against Kurt's in surprise.

It felt like only a second went by before Kurt had pulled Blaine's shirt off and slowly started to work his fingers at the elastic band of Blaine's boxer briefs. He searched Blaine's eyes, knowing there was a possibility he would stop him, but Blaine merely gulped in response.

"You too," he stammered under his breath, terrified to be the only to be suddenly naked. If Kurt was naked as well it couldn't be that embarrassing.

For a moment he feared that Kurt would say no. He didn't understand why he would do that, but he had stopped and his eyes were still flickering asking between Blaine's.

Then he rose to his knees between Blaine's legs and started working his boxers down around his thighs. When his hard dick sprung free Blaine almost choked on his own tongue.

It was big, hard and flushed pink. He couldn't stop staring as Kurt slowly let his hand down to fold around the root at the neatly trimmed pubic hair and let his hand take a lazy stroke up the shaft. It looked soft and smooth, and when Blaine saw the tiny pool of pre-come gathered at the head he had to bite his tongue to not stretch out to lick it away.

"Your turn," Kurt said as he kept stroking his hand up and down around himself. Slowly, carefully, no pressure or speed. Simply keeping himself going until Blaine was ready.

He swallowed. He had to get a grip of himself and get back to reality. He could feel Kurt's glance burning into the skin on his face, but for once he didn't care, it didn't matter that Kurt knew how much he wanted him, because for some unknown reason Kurt was there and wanted him too.

After a second of a strong battle to force himself back to reality Blaine caught his boxer briefs by the waist and started pulling them down. Kurt moved to the end of the bed where he let his own fall to the floor while Blaine got rid off his own as well.

Now nothing but distance was separating them.

Kurt crawled on hands and knees up Blaine's body, back between his legs and up to press his body back down on his. He let a hand down to ghost his palm over his head and down his shaft, pre-come sliding down with his touch before he locked his hand around him.

"Holy…" Blaine thrust out before he could stop it.

"Don't be nervous. I'm gonna take care of you," Kurt assured him, slowly starting to work his hand up and down around Blaine.

"I'm not -" Blaine started to object, but he knew that it was a lost battle. Somehow Kurt could see right through him no matter what he said or how hard he tried denying so he might as well stop pretending.

"Maybe I'm a little - nervous. Ooooh," Blaine groaned weakly and Kurt smiled down at him, his hand working a steady, careful pace.

"It's okay. You can be nervous. You just need to get this over with and I can take you into boot camp for turning you into a sex god," Kurt grinned and sucked Blaine's lower lip into his mouth.

Blaine's brain turned foggy. Kurt wasn't actually planning on just dumping him after. Did this mean that they were dating now? Oh god, Kurt's hand is on my dick.

It felt like his blood was roaming inside of him. Like he had a whirlpool in his stomach, and everything was burning hot, on the edge of boiling. He forced his mouth hard onto Kurt's, harder than any of them had expected and Kurt growled into the kiss.

Without warning Blaine's hand shot up to lock around Kurt's length. He didn't move, he simply held it there. He was in panic. He was afraid to do it wrong, or to hurt him, or simply do it bad so Kurt would rather finish the job himself.

"No. No - this is about you right now. We'll get to me later," Kurt said into his mouth and released his grip around Blaine to remove his hand from his own dick. Blaine was baffled, but it wasn't like he was in a position to understand anything at all at the moment, so he released and let Kurt return to fisting around him.

"Is it good?" Kurt asked.

He nodded frantically. Desperate to let Kurt know how soft and good his touch was. How amazing his hand was, and how much he wanted the feeling to never stop.

"Good. I'm gonna try something else now," he said in response before he released his grasp and Blaine whined in return of the loss.

Kurt leaned down his head to kiss Blaine a little deeper than he had before, and then he sat up between Blaine's legs - full view to the entire image of Blaine's splayed out, naked body.

He grabbed around the tendons of Blaine's knees to bent his legs before he made his palms travel down his thighs, fingers lightly caressing the dark hairs. When he reached his hips he let his hands run down the V of the insides of Blaine's thighs to make him spread his legs a little wider, bending down between his legs.

Oh god, is this really happening? Oh my god.

"Oh my god!" Blaine nearly screamed when he felt Kurt's wet lips around his head. He could feel Kurt grinning around him, but the sensation was way too much for him to even consider being embarrassed about his outburst.

Kurt let his lips and tongue slide around his head for a moment before he slowly let them pop off so he could look up at Blaine.

"Now I'm gonna need you to be a good boy and try really hard to stop me before you come. I know it's gonna be hard, but I want you to come with my cock filling your ass. Do you want that?" Kurt asked, his voice steady and encouraging.

"God. Yes, just… don't stop, please" Blaine heard himself beg and had no idea where it came from, he just needed Kurt back.

"Good. I know you're a good boy, I'm sure you can do that for me, baby," Kurt concluded and let his tongue travel from the base of Blaine's cock and up his length before he let his mouth slide down around him, this time taking as much in as he could.

Blaine was moaning and groaning on the bed. Nothing he had ever experienced was like this. All of the highs he had gotten from standing on stage and winning competitions and standing ovations, all of the adrenaline rushing through him when he was beating up the punching back at the gym - nothing could ever beat the feeling of being in Kurt's mouth.

His hands rushed into Kurt's hair as he bobbed his head up and down. His hips were fighting to buck upwards to meet Kurt's mouth, but he forced them to lie down to not push down Kurt's throat.

Kurt held his hands lightly on Blaine's inner thighs to make sure he didn't close them around his head in a natural reaction. He made his mouth down to the root and let his tongue lick flat and rough up the vein on the backside of his cock. He let his lips hold in only his head as he swirled his tongue around his erection.

Out of nowhere Kurt had let his one hand up to push his fingers into Blaine's mouth. He let his tongue travel around them, between them, wetting them up as good as he possibly could, imagining that he was finally allowed to taste Kurt on his tongue.

With a trail of spit following them Kurt withdrew his fingers and put his hand back to Blaine's legs. He started to tease around Blaine's hole with the tip of his index finger and Blaine could feel all muscles inside of him tighten.

"Do you want it?" Kurt asked, his tongue licking up Blaine's shaft, down his balls and back up to his head.

"Yes. Please, just - something," Blaine whined.

Kurt took him in again and at the same time made his finger slowly press in through the first ring of muscle. Blaine's ass was gripping around him, needing more, needing him to move, but Kurt held still to let Blaine get used to the feeling.

With his finger still immobile Kurt let his lips slowly up around Blaine's cock and sucked lightly on his head, the whirlpool feeling starting to go out of hand in his stomach.

"Close - fuck, so - fucking - close," Blaine burst out, causing Kurt's mouth to leave his cock before placing a light kiss on his head, so he could sit up and start moving his finger in and out of Blaine.

"That was good, baby. Real good," Kurt cooed and let his free hand caress up and down Blaine's thigh.

His finger was pumping in and out of Blaine's hole while the feeling of spit drying coldly on his aching member was freezing and painful. He missed Kurt's mouth back but he knew he wouldn't get it, so he didn't even bother to ask for it.

"Do you think you can take one more?" Kurt asked and flicked the tip of his finger upwards, his eyes locked on Blaine's face.

"You… I just - I just want you," Blaine panted needy. He couldn't wait to have Kurt inside of him. Not just his fingers, really have him in.

"Shhh, it's okay. You'll get my cock - as soon as you're stretched enough. I don't wanna burst your tight, little hole. I'm gonna need that later," Kurt assured him with a soft voice and pressed one more finger in, making Blaine's hips push upwards.

Kurt made his speed rise. He was driving his hand in circles, fucking his fingers in and out and scissoring inside of him. Blaine was sure that he could feel every curve and bent of Kurt's fingers, and when he way-too-fast added a third finger he let out a breathy cry he didn't know he had in him.

It was painful. But in the good way. He pushed his ass down against Kurt's hand, desperate to feel more - to let Kurt know that he didn't care about stretching, all he wanted was him, and it needed to be now, or it wouldn't happen at all.

"More. Kurt - more," he begged one last time, his fingernails digging into the back of Kurt's hand on his thigh and Kurt let out a sound that was a mix of a chuckle and a groan.

He grabbed around Blaine's hand and led it down his thigh, through the slick of spit and pre-come Kurt had managed to spread there, before Kurt stopped moving his hand inside him.

"Did you ever finger yourself?" He asked and Blaine's eyes flew open. That he could honestly say no to, he had never even considered the possibility.

He opened his mouth to reply, feeling his muscles still stretching and working themselves around Kurt's fingers without the slightest resistance. No sound but panting came out, so he closed and shook his head.

Slowly Kurt let his fingers exit Blaine's hole and he immediately felt empty, whining and heaving for breath from the loss, but a pounding in the back of his head promised that what was to come would be so much better.

He was surprised, to say the least, when Kurt started moving his hand further down his thigh where he started pressing Blaine's fingers into his own hole.

At first he stiffened. Scared shitless about what was happening, but when he saw the excited expression on Kurt's face he followed his lead and continued. He tried plugging his brain back in to remember what Kurt had just done to him, how he had moved his wrist and his fingers - where he had touched and pressed.

"You're really sexy. So not the good boy I thought you were," Kurt breathed and kissed his knee before he started crawling over the bed, his head leaking on he sheets.

"What -" Blaine started to ask, but Kurt looked back to hush him, his eyes darting to his hand between his legs to keep him going, so Blaine did.

He felt strange to lie there with his own fingers stuffed into his ass, but the thought that Kurt had told him to do it definitely made up for it. So he continued to pant and writhe, fucking his fingers in and out, doing his best to angle his wrist without his muscles complaining too much.

When Kurt returned he crawled back between Blaine's legs. He took a moment to look down on his hand working around himself before Blaine saw his arms move and he heard a breaking of foil.

Before he knew it Kurt's hand was on his wrist to stop him. He led his hand up to his face where he sucked both of Blaine's slick fingers into his mouth. Sucking, feeding on them, his eyes rolling back in his head with a moan and for a second Blaine thought he had already come from the feeling.

Kurt released Blaine's fingers and his wrist before he moved closer to his ass. Blaine could feel his insides throb, desperate and frantic to be filled again, when he suddenly felt something hard against his entrance.

"Are you ready?" Kurt asked and Blaine looked up at him.

Lust was wiped from his face, replaced by waiting and concern, sparks twinkling around his blue orbs as Blaine nodded with a breathy, inaudible "yes".

Kurt licked his lips and fell to rest his body weight on one arm next to Blaine's head, his other locked around his shaft, before he took a deep breath and pushed into Blaine.

Blaine expected him to stop at the head. He didn't know why, but he expected that, so when he kept pushing, further and deeper in, his body shocked and tensed all muscles.

When he was as deep in as he could Kurt moved his head around to kiss him. For some stupid reason all Blaine could think was "Oh god, he hasn't said my name once, never. What if he doesn't even know my name? Fuck. No. Please no."

Neither of them moved. Both let themselves melt into the kiss, and as Kurt's other hand appeared on the other side of his head, Blaine's hands rushed to run up his arms before down his ribs and back to end at the top of his ass. Pressing.

"Move. Please, move. I wanna feel you," he begged needy into Kurt's mouth, their tongues moving spit sloppy around their lips, cheeks and chins.

Kurt obliged. Slowly dragged out before pushing back in, and Blaine groaned. It wasn't enough he needed more, so he kneaded his fingers into Kurt's ass, hoping he would understand the indication.

He did. He slowly worked up a pace, his thrusts starting out slow and dragging, gradually turning into faster, tryingly harder. Blaine pushed his tongue into Kurt's mouth and Kurt eagerly sucked on it, before willing into a dance of spit and lips and tongues.

"Fuck. Kurt - god you're so -" Blaine thrust out, nearly biting down on Kurt's shoulder.

"Big?" He asked, a smirk crossing his face as he jerked in one particular hard time and grabbed Blaine's thigh to lift his leg up.

"Yes. Shit you're so big," Blaine agreed and dug his head deeper into the pillow under him, feeling Kurt working inside of him, and a need to fold his hand around his own cock building up, but he couldn't move his hands from their place, glued to Kurt's slippery skin.

Kurt hit right. Just right. Blaine felt a cascade of stars shoot through his veins and moaned long and hard into Kurt's shoulder. He continued thrusting at that spot, hard and fast until Blaine felt the whirlpool in his stomach flood and the boiling lava was headed for his crotch.

"Soon. Oh god now," he only just heaved out before he felt it coil in his balls to be pushed through his shaft and explode from his head over his stomach.

"Yes. Come for me, Blaine -" Kurt panted as his hand hurried to lock around Blaine's cock so he could fist him through his orgasm.

Blaine wanted to keep looking at Kurt, but it was impossible to keep his eyes open. He let them roll back into his skull, cross-eyed and heavy, as the stars from his veins danced in front of his closed eyes.

"Kurt, oh god Kurt, don't stop," Blaine kept crying out, only just louding out the sound of Kurt's thighs slapping against his ass.

He was drained he didn't have anymore in him, but Kurt didn't stop. He hadn't come yet, so Blaine forced himself to catch Kurt's mouth as he felt his ass oversensitive and clenching around Kurt as good as he could in his current state.

"Holy fuck! Blaine!" Kurt growled and his hips started jerking unsteady into his ass, Blaine's hole squeezing and tightening more than he ever though he had before.

He kept going, fucking Blaine, working himself through his own orgasm until his arms gave in and he clasped flat down onto Blaine's chest.

It was like their chests were fighting for dominance to be the one to grasp for air. They were both panting and needing, as Blaine let his hand up to run through his fingers through Kurt's hair, only now feeling how soft it was - even softer than he had imagined countless times.

Kurt's hair was just as damp as Blaine's own felt. He didn't dare think about how he looked at the moment, but he didn't care - because no matter how messy he looked it was all because he had just had sex. Not only had he just had sex, he had just had sex with Kurt; the only guy he had ever wanted to have sex with.

Awkwardly, with tired movements, Kurt pulled himself out before he moved over Blaine's body so he could dump to the bed next to him. He dragged off the condom and tied it up before letting it dump to the floor.

Blaine wanted to look at him, not to stare, but to make sure it really was Kurt and not just someone else he had imagined to be him instead. He wanted to reach out to feel and touch and have Kurt's skin back against his own, but he didn't dare to. He didn't know where the boundaries were now so instead he stayed still, letting his breathing return to normal.

Without warning Kurt stumbled to his feet. He disappeared out the door and Blaine could hear him down the dark hall. He wanted to call for him, beg him to come back and hold him. He was holding his breath, scared that he was just going to leave him there, even though he knew that Kurt's clothes were spread around his floor.

It felt like an eternity, but Blaine knew that in reality it was probably only a few moments before Kurt returned to the bedroom. He threw a box of Kleenex at Blaine that he had stolen from the bathroom before he bent down to fumble around the floor. When he stood up a cigarette was in his mouth and he lit a lighter to fire it up.

"You can't smoke in here. Asthma, remember!" Blaine said shocked, sad that Kurt hadn't even remembered that.

"Oh… yeah. That's what got us into this mess in the first place," Kurt snorted with raised eyebrows and pursed lips as he pulled the cigarette from his lips.

"The… just go to the window," Blaine sighed defeated and threw the soiled tissues in a pile on the floor as he was finished cleaning himself off. He put the box of Kleenex on his nightstand and curled up under the sheets, determined not to look at Kurt.

He didn't know what he had expected, or hoped for. Maybe just a little more… tenderness. Kurt had said that he liked him. He had been so convincing. His hands had been so gentle and his voice had been so - assuring and soft.

Apparently it was just a scam to get in my pants. I knew it. There was no chance he would ever want me, Blaine thought angry at himself.

He felt stupid, used - heartbroken. Tina had been right all along; Kurt would do nothing but chew him up and spit him out when he was finished with him.

For a moment he considered taking his clothes back on, but he didn't want Kurt to have the satisfaction of knowing that he had hurt him. If he wanted to play that game he could be a cold bitch as well.

Kurt closed the window and threw the cigarette butt in the trashcan before he disappeared out the door again. Blaine could hear his footsteps and the door closing after him down the hall. For a second he had to stop himself from boring his nose into his pillow that naturally smelled like Kurt now, he could feel tears forming in his eyes and he was fighting hard to not let them get free run. There was no way that he was going to cry in front of Kurt.

He heard the light switch getting shut off and Kurt's footsteps were back down the hall until Blaine heard him close the door behind him. Now he was glad that he had chosen to lie with his back on Kurt, he didn't want to face him, because he was afraid that he was either going to be angry or start crying.

The mattress worked itself a little as Kurt sat down and climbed back under the covers. Blaine could feel him lie on his back next to him, and for a second he imagined himself turn around to force himself into his arms.

Stupid schoolboy fantasy.

The sound of Kurt's breathing was filling up the room. The tension was thick between them, and Blaine wished that he hadn't closed the window.

"I uhm… I sort of borrowed your toothbrush," Kurt suddenly said, and a spark of pain shot into Blaine's temple.

So fucking me, to humiliate me by pretending it never happened wasn't enough? He absolutely had to use my toothbrush as well. Great!

"You what? What the hell is wrong with you?" Blaine snapped and turned around to stare at Kurt in horror.

Kurt stared back with wide eyes, shocked at the sudden outburst, apparently not expecting good-boy-Blaine to be capable of standing up for himself.

"I'm sorry. I'll buy you a new one. I just didn't want to kiss you with nicotine breath. Relax," Kurt bit back, his eyes lightning.

What? He what?

Blaine felt like he had been slapped in the face. He wasn't sure he had heard correctly so he turned it over in his head a few times but still couldn't make sense of anything.

"You… you what?" He asked, awkward and insecure, his voice suddenly weak compared to the roughness only a moment earlier.

"I just figured you didn't want me to taste of nicotine when I kissed you, and since I don't have a toothbrush here, I figured it would be cool - apparently not. I'm just gonna buy you a new one tomorrow. Chill," Kurt said, his voice trembling between angry and hurt.

"You wanted to kiss me?" Blaine muttered weakly, ashamed of his reaction, ashamed of his thoughts.

"Yeah. I mean - if you want to. I just… I just guessed that -" Kurt started but was cut off by Blaine's lips to his.

At first he was stiff and still, probably startled by the unwarned action from Blaine's side, but he slowly let himself melt into Blaine's motions and let his hand over Blaine's waist to pull him closer.

Blaine could feel Kurt's naked body against his, and he couldn't stop the rerun of images and video sequences of what had happened between them from running wild in his brain. He let his hand run up Kurt's back to pull him closer, press their chests together.

"Wow, slow down there, tiger - I can't really go for another round already. And I'm out of condoms," Kurt panted and retreated, gasping for breath, as he let a hand softly up Blaine's back.

Blaine blushed and chuckled under his breath. It wasn't exactly like he was ready for a round two himself. He was exhausted, drained, completely empty. He just needed Kurt closer.

"I'm sorry. I'll… I'm just gonna go to sleep," Blaine apologized and bit his lower lip. He laid down on his back, ready to turn around when Kurt dragged him back to make their chests collide.

Kurt cupped his cheek with his one hand and placed a soft, deep kiss on his lips before he smiled at him.

"Where do you think you're going? Lie here with me instead," he smiled, and Blaine felt all the wings of a thousand butterflies dancing around his insides.

"Okay," he stammered quietly, and followed as Kurt guided him to lie down in his arms, his head resting on Kurt's shoulder. He folded his arm around his waist and dared himself to squeeze a little tighter, Kurt squeezing around his shoulders in return.

"I thought you didn't know my name," Blaine mumbled embarrassed as Kurt started running his fingertips up and down his back.

"Seriously? We need to do something your confidence - how could I forget your name? You were the reason I had to ditch my night out," Kurt said dryly and Blaine's insides knotted.

"I'm sorry," Blaine apologized, and for some reason the tears started pringling in his eyes again.

"I'm kidding. You gotta stop all that self-doubt crap, alright? I like you because you're cute and good, but you can be that without constantly thinking you're doing everything wrong." Kurt clenched his arms around Blaine a little tighter and kissed his hair.

They silenced. Letting the sound of the branches scurry against the window fill the room, mixed with their combined breathing. Blaine tried to suppress a yawn, but when he failed he ended it by placing a kiss on Kurt's chest under him.

He was sure that Kurt had fallen back asleep when he suddenly startled him.

"I should probably stop smoking then… can't have you dying around me," Kurt whispered as his thumb brushed up Blaine's naked shoulder.

"I… there's no reason for that -" Blaine objected, confused as to why Kurt would even say that. It shouldn't matter at all.

"Of course there is. It's expensive as hell, it stinks, it killed my mom - and I can't go around nearly killing my boyfriend all the time. That would be stupid," Kurt said as if it was the most logical thing in the world, and Blaine should clearly have known that.

"Boyf… you mean?" He asked, afraid that he was going to make a wrong assumption even though it seemed pretty obvious what it was Kurt was saying.

"Do you seriously want me to write you fucking letter with boxes asking you to be my boyfriend? Because I can do that, maybe even make you a drawing or something," Kurt groaned into Blaine's hair, a chuckling hiding under the surface.

"No. I mean… if you want to do it, I wouldn't be opposed to the idea. I never got a letter from anyone asking me to be their boyfriend," Blaine teased, gradually trying to ease himself into the thought of what it was they were discussing, but somehow he couldn't make his brain believe it.

"Fine. Tomorrow I'll write you a letter. But you better tick the right box, or I'll flip you over. For someone who runs a fight club you're pretty fucking tiny," Kurt laughed and grinned at him when Blaine looked up in a hope of seeing his eyes.

It hit him that he had never seen Kurt happy before. He had always looked bored or angry, usually both at the same time. He had seemed restless, as if he couldn't really figure out what to do about himself - until now, where he was grinning broadly down on Blaine.

"Then you better write me a damn nice letter. And make that drawing a piece of art," Blaine laughed back, and let the sparks in Kurt's eyes fill him.

"Would you just go to sleep now? I might need to fuck you when I wake up, so you're gonna need your energy," Kurt groaned and kissed him with his arms squeezing tightly around Blaine's shoulders and his fingers mushing themselves into his revolted curls