The alarm clock went off at 8.15 and Blaine groaned into the pillow before killing the noise. Kurt twisted his leg between Blaine's and fumbled his hand around the mattress to find Blaine's.

"Kurt. You should wake up, darling -" Blaine yawned before placing a kiss on his hair.

Kurt hummed and looked up at him from under long eyelashes. He kissed Blaine's chin and smiled at him while rubbing his naked thigh over Blaine's, sending electric waves through his body.

"I am awake. I am just lying here enjoying you," Kurt mumbled dozy, his eyes looking like they were still struggling to see. Blaine grinned and slid a little further down in the bed. He sure was enjoying Kurt himself.

They stayed close - kissing and caressing each other lightly under the covers. It was steaming hot and Blaine couldn't help feeling that he was smelling really bad from working the night before, but the feeling of hiding from the world with Kurt made everything else seem unimportant.

Around 9 they forced themselves out of bed. They put on their t-shirts to go have breakfast in the kitchen where Tina came from her and Mike's bedroom. She was a little late for dance rehearsal with some friends from school so she was slightly stressed out, but clearly surprised finding Kurt in her kitchen so she had to take a moment to get over it.

She sat down and had a cup of coffee with them. She was nice and polite to Kurt, yet Blaine could feel that she was still a little withdrawn about him. After she had gulped down her coffee she excused herself and left in a hurry.

Blaine got up and started to clean off the table. Kurt stayed to finish his coffee and when Blaine was done cleaning after them they went to his room together. Blaine opened the window and didn't really know what their next move was so he fell to the bed where Kurt fell down next to him.

"I think I should shower before leaving. Or my sweet lady at the theater will probably get sad when I come in smelling like a locker room," Kurt grinned and watched Blaine.

Something struck Blaine. He was nervous and not at all sure that this was the right thing to do, but somehow he didn't want to stop himself, so he turned to lie on his side to have a better look at Kurt.

"Can I come with you?" He asked, uncertain that this was the right time for him to be doing this.

"Baby, people at the theater know Sam. They would think it weird and a bit suspicious if I dragged another guy to rehearsal with me. Besides, it would be…" Kurt started explaining apologetically, sadness oozing through his voice.

Blaine chuckled and folded his hand around Kurt's that was resting on his stomach, and Blaine cut him off mid-explanation.

"I didn't mean to the theater. I meant… in the shower? I - never showered with anyone before. Sebastian kept trying to get me to do it, but it didn't feel right, but…"

He didn't get to finish. Kurt had rolled over to lie on top of him with a devious smile over his face and Blaine let his hands down to the lower of his back, but didn't get to say or do anything, because Kurt kissed him and quickly jumped to his feet so he could drag him to the bathroom.

In the bathroom Kurt turned on the water before he rushed his clothes off and then started to pull Blaine's shirt over his head. Blaine got his own underwear off with clumsy movements before Kurt led him under the water stream where he put his arms around him.

The feeling of Kurt's naked, wet body pressed against Blaine's was incredible. Even though the water was soothing and cooling, his skin and blood felt like it was boiling. His head started spinning and he was afraid that if he let go of his arms around Kurt he would be dizzy and possibly fall down.

"You really need to tell me what other things you never tried. Showering with someone is so cozy and lovely. Now I'm scared of what other things you have missed out on," Kurt said with lips ghosting down Blaine's neck and over his shoulder.

Blaine hadn't known that it was such a big deal so he felt a little awkward that he apparently had missed out on something this important. He couldn't avoid admitting that this was amazing - but to him it was the intense feeling of Kurt that made the experience great for him.

The way Kurt was caressing his fingertips lightly up and down his back, and the feeling of his lips pressing against his naked skin made shivers run down his spine. When Kurt's arms moved slippery over Blaine's, or their nipples brushed together he felt unsure that it was a good idea of them to be doing this because electricity and water shouldn't be mixed, and when he felt an erection creeping up on him he wished that he could stop it because he didn't want to ruin the moment, but it didn't matter because Kurt was turning hard against his pelvis as well.

"I've never been sucked off," Blaine abruptly burst out and was ready to bang his head against the tiles on the wall.

Kurt stopped placing trails of gentle kisses over Blaine's shoulder and stood straight to look at him with shock painting his face.

"You… what? You - are you serious?" He stammered and Blaine wished that he could dissolve into nothing and wash down the drain with the water.

"Not really. No… I just - no," he said and felt stupid. How could he be teenage-awkward again in a matter of seconds?

"Did you ever blow anyone?" Kurt asked and raised an eyebrow, his eyes big in wonder.

Blaine opened his mouth to answer, but no sounds would come out, so when the water started filling he closed again and shook his head ashamedly.

"Wow… but the way you move your tongue, you… Gosh, Blaine," Kurt exclaimed. He was smiling and Blaine couldn't decipher the meaning of his smile.

It was hard for Blaine to figure out what to focus on. The way the water made Kurt's hair turn darker and clasp against his forehead, the way his eyes were filled with stars, the way the pattern of the shower curtain made colors dance around his milky skin was all hypnotizing and breathtaking. He was beautiful and his smile only made Blaine's heart throb stronger.

"Why? Don't you… did you never… why?" Kurt asked completely confounded by the revelation.

"I guess I just… didn't feel comfortable about Sebastian like… down there or… in my mouth or - but," Blaine tried explaining but felt like he was stumbling over the words when he surprised himself by strengthening his clasp on the lower of Kurt's back to pull him closer so their lips were nearly touching and there was no other place for their eyes to look than meet one another.

"But I like the idea when it's you -" he whispered and clearly caught Kurt just as much off guard as himself, because Kurt smiled breathlessly at him with eyes searching between Blaine's.

"All of this being-new-to-it is really, really sexy," he said under his breath and bit his lower lip while letting his eyes rush to Blaine's lips before back to his eyes and let his hands down so his hands rested lightly on Blaine's ass.

He could feel that Kurt was fully hard against him and for a second he considered to reach his hand down to grab around him, but he was afraid to move. Instead he swallowed hard and waited for Kurt to move.

Kurt stretched his neck and let his lips meet Blaine's. He had expected a heated and hungry kiss, but on the contrary it was soft and deep without Kurt even presenting his tongue so Blaine let himself into the feeling and enjoyed the silk of Kurt's lips massaging against his.

When they parted Kurt let his hand up to brush a wet curl away from Blaine's temple with his thumb, and let his hand stroke gently over his cheekbone with a caring smile.

"Tonight I will take you out to dinner, and we will have a lovely night together, and you will tell me everything you wanna try that you haven't tried - and we will do it. I'm not going to the theater tomorrow because they will be doing all the last checks on the props and stuff. So we have the night and all of tomorrow together - you can do whatever you want with me, and you can make me do whatever you want with you. But most of all I just wanna spend a normal night with you without us having to think about anything," Kurt exclaimed and Blaine's mouth turned to a grin.

"I don't think we should go all crazy, I just wanna take things your way, do it all your speed. I'm up for it all for you whenever you want. But for now let's just…" he pecked Blaine's lips innocently and let his fingers run through Blaine's hair.

Kurt started washing Blaine's hair slowly before he let his soaped up hands run down his back and chest, and Blaine mirrored his actions. Showering together was much more relaxing and intimate than he had feared - he knew that to Sebastian it had been all about sex, and he was willing to swear that Kurt had guessed that and that was why he hadn't tried anything and wanted to wait, and Blaine was grateful. Right now he would much rather be close with Kurt and feel him. Get to know Kurt's body, and his own, so he could be confident about the new feeling of honesty and openness - physically and verbally.

They finished and dried up together. Kurt spent some time in the bathroom to get ready to leave, and around 9.45 he had to go.

Blaine was leaning against the wall in the hall while Kurt put on his jacket. It sucked, and he wasn't ready to let him go yet. He had saved himself a playing job in a restaurant at noon, but that could easily be canceled if only Kurt had been able to cancel going to the theater.

Reality was that they were adults who had jobs to go to and responsibilities to take care of. Not only had Blaine missed out on being a part of all the things that had happened in Kurt's life, good and bad, but he had also missed out on being with him when they were kids and teenagers, and didn't have to worry about jobs or being adults. He wanted that.

"I think I'm done around 7 - then we have the whole night to be together. I just have to go home to get some things first and ask Rachel to take care of Simba. I'll just tell Sam that I'm tired and wanna have a night off to myself without worrying about anything, okay?" Kurt crooned as he pressed his body against Blaine's.

He let his hands up and down Blaine's arms and his eyes kept running to Blaine's lips only to rush back to his eyes.

"Sounds good. I'll look forward to that," Blaine agreed and hurried to kiss Kurt before he rushed him out of the door so he was sure to catch the train in time.

xXx

At the restaurant Blaine played a nice mix of pop love songs fitted for the acquired mood setting. He was smiling broadly all day and chatting lively with both customers and staff who all quickly noticed his good mood.

He was dying to tell his friends among the staff about Kurt but he wasn't too sure it would be a wise move. He ended up deciding that as long as he was still officially with Sebastian he shouldn't tell anyone. No one in the restaurant knew Sebastian, but he was afraid that if he started telling some people he would be so excited that he couldn't stop himself and it would escalate into telling one too many.

So he stayed shut and had to wait until he came home. He had decided to tell Mike before Kurt was coming over to avoid any complications. He was actually surprised that he hadn't noticed anything yet after Kurt having spent three nights in his room already.

Blaine was home around 7. Good enough to leave him time to talk to Mike before Kurt would come over. Unfortunately it didn't seem like Mike was home so he cursed himself away and neither was Tina; so he cursed Mike away, cursed Tina away, cursed Sebastian away - and then he cursed himself away some more.

He took a shower to pass the time. He needed to calm down after the frustration of Mike not being home when it had been so damn important that he was, and he might shower to make sure he looked decent for his dinner with Kurt.

When he was done the clock only showed 7.23 so he pulled on a pair of black chinos, white shirt with a white sweater and a red bowtie with green stripes - now he only hoped that was good enough for wherever Kurt was planning on taking him.

When he entered the living room Mike was on the couch absorbed in a crazy videogame. He couldn't have been home for long, but Blaine knew Mike well enough to know that it only took him five minutes to be so invested in a game that most people would think he was paid to do it.

Blaine closed his eyes and drew a heavy breath. This was it. He had to tell him. He was going to explain how he had completely screwed over his friend - more or less for the entirety of their two years long relationship.

He cleared his throat without Mike looking at him, but Blaine knew that he was aware of his presence because he did the nod with his head that he did when it was "impossible" for his eyes to leave the screen.

"Mike, can we like… talk?" Blaine asked and took a trying step into the living room with his heart pumping like crazy in his chest.

"Sure. But can we do it later? I'm home all night, and I'm in the middle of this sick level I've been struggling with - but I should be there in an hour or something. Then I'm all yours, man." Mike nodded again and did a move as if he thought he could show the man on the screen how to act.

"I uhm - I sort of hoped it could be now. I'm going out soon, and it's pretty… important," Blaine tried again, determined to not give up before curtain call. He walked over to sit in the chair by the coffee table and observed Mike's face turn white and his fingers fumble to find the pause button.

"Are you okay? You're not sick or something?" He asked with panic starting to flow over his face, and the suggestion seemed comical compared to what Blaine was there to tell him. Mike knew that Blaine never took up any important, life changing subjects with anyone but Tina, so now that he was there and tried to open up to Mike it had to be serious.

"No. I'm not sick," Blaine mumbled and remembered his allergy-joke with Kurt the previous day and nearly chuckled, so he shook his head to brush it off. He started thinking over what he had planned to tell Mike. He let the words linger on his tongue, letting him taste the seriousness of the situation.

"It's about Sebastian. Sort of…" He started out and Mike looked like he didn't know whether to cheer or cry, so he fell back on a pokerface and waited without a word.

"I… I have to break up with him," Blaine rushed out. He didn't like the feeling of the sentence in his mouth. It felt like acid - toxic and painful. Until now he had avoided saying it so directly, and now that he had he wanted to cry from how brutal it sounded.

"What… wait, why? What happened? Did he do something? Why?" Mike panicked and actually let the controller fall to the table in front of him. This was exactly the reaction Blaine had foreseen would come.

"No, he didn't. Sebastian is amazing. The best, actually - which is why I have to stop it. He deserves someo -"

"No, man. No. You guys are so great together. He loves you and he wants to stay with you - I think he's even planning on proposing to you! No, dude, you are so good for him," Mike blabbered out and Blaine was prepared to punch him if he didn't shut up. He could see on Mike's face that he wasn't supposed to tell him that; it had been a secret, which meant that it had to be true.

What if Sebastian really have been planning on proposing to me? Jesus, I'm gonna crush him so bad, Blaine thought and had to dig his nails into the palms of his hands to make sure he didn't break down in sobs.

"But I don't love him!" Blaine shouted frustrated.

He had said it. It was out to someone that wasn't Tina or Kurt. It felt like the weight of a house had been removed from his chest, but the sight of Mike's confused and shocked expression killed him.

"I have tried. So hard. I want to, but I just couldn't…" He said apologetically, his voice back to soft and trying.

If this is how it feels like to tell Mike then I can't even imagine how it's gonna be to tell Sebastian. Oh no. Oh God. I am headed directly for the inner VIP zone of Hell where only Hitler and Attila The Hun has access.

"I don't really know what to say here, dude. This is really a shock for me. You guys seemed so happy, like everything was perfect for you," Mike murmured as if he was in a haze.

"We were. I mean… I don't know if we were. I don't know anything. I was -"

Then he realized that he hadn't been happy with Sebastian, but happy to be with someone who cared for him. That someone even wanted him. He had been comfortable with Sebastian - as long as it was platonic, everything else had been emotional torture. It had felt good to know that no matter how much he didn't like himself and never thought he could be with anyone and thought he was incapable of loving someone there would still be someone who loved him.

"I think Sebastian has been happy with me but… I don't know how to explain it. He has made me happy and he had made me feel loved but I was never… happy-happy," Blaine mumbled and wanted to kick himself or throw himself off a building for the completely watery explanation.

"The thing is… you heard about Kurt. My friend in Silverlake when I was little. He abandoned me because he got a family, my family abandoned me because they died - these are things I haven't even told Sebastian about because I haven't felt comfortable about talking to him about it. And… a couple of weeks ago, more like two months or something, Kurt was back - he came into the pub one night. He saw me and… we hit it of right away. It was like we only had been separated for a few hours rather than over ten years. And we have been talking regularly since."

Blaine sighed and could feel his lower lip trembling. He remembered Kurt's thing in a stressful situation with twisting his fingers around and Blaine had to suppress a smile from the image in his head.

"So what you're saying here is…"

"I couldn't love Sebastian because I have been in love with Kurt all along. Even though I had no idea where in the world he was. I'm so sorry," Blaine concluded and wasn't sure why he was apologizing to Mike but it felt like the most right thing to do at the moment.

Mike didn't say anything. He stayed shut and Blaine observed the shock fasten itself in his mind. He could see how the information was running around hid head and making him look like he was about to get sick.

"So Kurt… this guy - does he like… love you too? Are you going to be like - a thing? An item?" Mike asked without even looking at Blaine, so he had no chance of guessing what he was thinking or feeling about it all.

"Well, Kurt's sort of… engaged, so -"

"But if he's taken don't you think you can just -" Mike started to interrupt but he seemed like he didn't even know what he was going to suggest.

"Kurt is engaged to this super awesome, badass football player guy - he's going to break up with him as well, but he wants to wait until after this huge game he has at the end of the month. So he doesn't get distracted, you know. But he loves me. He's felt the same way about me since forever," Blaine hoped that the fact that Kurt loved him too at least would be a softening from the punch though he doubted it.

Mike got to his feet and looked frantically around the room. Like he had just woken from a long coma and had no idea where he was.

"I think I need some time to take this in," he muttered slowly.

"I am so sorry, man. It's just - I'm gonna talk to Sebastian as soon as he comes home and I just wanted to give you sort of a heads up before I do it," Blaine tried rationalizing but he already knew that it wouldn't do any good.

"Alright. I uhm - I think I need some fresh air," Mike said and headed for the door.

The door slammed and Blaine sunk back in the chair with his face hidden in his hands. He could definitely need some counseling. This couldn't be normal behavior - he had to suffer from some sort of psychological disorder that made him impulsively deeply hurt people he cared about.

His phone rang in his room so he rushed to answer, nearly afraid to do so because he couldn't know who it was and who he would have to talk right when he was so torn. It was Kurt, though. He told him that he was on his way so he should get ready.

Kurt was at the apartment within ten minutes where he dropped his bag off in Blaine's room. When Kurt pulled him into a welcoming embrace and kissed him with warm lips it was like his worries magically got pushed in the background. They didn't disappear, but they seemed small and without importance, and Blaine had a hard time figuring out why they had weighed so heavily only minutes before.