When Blaine woke up the next day he had the horrible nightmares filling him with unease but decided to act like everything was fine. He had promised Sebastian that he would be better, so that was what he intended to do - at least try.

Neither of them had anything planned for the day and it was the first Sunday in a really long time where neither of them had to work, so Blaine decided to wake up his boyfriend by kissing his fingertips and then turn around to kiss his neck lightly.

Sebastian hummed delighted in his ear and found Blaine's mouth. He started letting his hand down over Blaine's ass inside his boxers but Blaine moved his hand away. He wasn't in the mood for that, he just wanted to let Sebastian know that they were fine and that he had nothing to worry about.

Fortunately he didn't get upset but pulled Blaine in to lie on his chest instead and Blaine was relieved. He kissed his chest and locked his arms around him so he could close his eyes and enjoy the feeling of Sebastian placing kisses on his hair.

They stayed in bed for nearly the entire day. Late afternoon Sebastian suggested that they went to see a play he had tickets for through work, so they took turns on showering and dressed up.

When they were back in bed it even seemed to Blaine like Sebastian had forgotten the trouble from the previous night and neither of them mentioned it again as they ended the night with sex and falling asleep almost immediately after.

xXx

Sebastian had a company dinner at night and Blaine had canceled a long time ago because of work so they had agreed for Blaine to sleep at his own place. The decision was dearly welcomed as it would assure Blaine to not feel as guilty as usual after having met with Kurt.

I shouldn't feel guilty. We're only talking, Blaine always told himself when he was about to face Sebastian after having spent the night with Kurt and he felt like his throat should be filled with cement.

But just to make sure he had arranged for flowers to be sent to Sebastian's apartment just in time for them to arrive while he was getting ready for his dinner with his colleagues.

Sorry I couldn't be there. Yours x Blaine had written in the card and he knew that lilies were Sebastian's favorites so he felt like he was in the running to be only the second worst boyfriend of the history.

As soon as he was done playing in the restaurant he hurried home to shower and put on his own casual clothes for a change. Until now Kurt had only seen him in the clothes he wore for work at the pub and the suits he wore for playing in fancy places.

He found out a pair of navy chinos, a black shirt and a white bowtie with red and navy stripes - his favorite that Tina had given him for his graduation. After having checked his hair a million times, made sure he had a hold of his eyebrows and perfected the angle of his bowtie over and over again he left.

xXx

He was waiting for Kurt by the park as they had agreed. Kurt was late.

5 minutes late: The train is probably delayed.

10 minutes late: Okay, 10 minutes late is normal.

15 minutes later: He checked his phone, but there were no texts.

20 minutes late: He'll be here, I'm sure he will.

30 minutes late: Fuck it all.

Blaine's phone started ringing and he quickly found it out. He hoped to God that it was Kurt with an explanation, but when he looked at he phone a picture of Sebastian with morning hair was smiling back at him from the display.

He drew a heavy breath and forced himself to keep even and put on a smile as he answered the phone.

"Hey babe. I think I have a secret admirer. Someone who knows me really well, cause I just got an armful of my favorite flowers," Sebastian teased as Blaine picked up.

He smiled at how happy he sounded. He was glad that it had worked after his intention and hoped that Sebastian would know what it meant; that they were okay, that he wanted them to be okay - that this was the closest thing to love he would ever get.

"Doesn't sound good. Looks like I have some competition there," Blaine chuckled, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

However, he still couldn't stop feeling bummed out that Kurt had ditched him. He dumped down on a bench and looked around the park where people were walking hand-in-hand, dogs were running around and kids were playing while being watched by their parents.

"They're really beautiful. Thank you," Sebastian said and Blaine felt warm inside. Whenever Sebastian used that voice he turned to mush and he was happy that he was sitting down or he probably would have fallen.

"I'm glad you like them. I made sure to tell them that I would send my army of vicious munchkins after them if the flowers weren't completely perfect and fresh when you got them," Blaine laughed and felt a little lighter in his mood.

Maybe I should just go to his place and surprise him when he gets home tonight, Blaine started thinking. That way he wouldn't have to spend the night alone, and he could continue his quest on trying to avoid Sebastian leaving him all of a sudden.

"They're really gorgeous. Almost as gorgeous as you," Sebastian cooed and Blaine was sure that his face had turned so red that he could light up the entire city.

Sebastian apologized that he had to hang up to make sure he would make it for dinner in time and Blaine purposely avoided mentioning anything about his playing job for the day.

When they hung up Blaine stayed on the bench for a little while. He looked at his photo of Sebastian on his phone and it made him smile. He wondered what he would be doing now as Tina and Mike had late classes so they wouldn't be home until the middle of the night. That meant that he could just as well go home and pack a bag so he could go to Sebastian's and wait for him to be home.

A text ticked in.

Kurt: "I am the worst person in the world! I am so, so, so sorry. I understand if you have left already, we had a major crisis at the theater. I am so, so sorry."

Blaine: "Okay"

Kurt: "I am sorry"

Kurt: "Really, Blaine. Please believe me."

This was the worst. Horrible. What was he supposed to say? Or do?

Blaine: "Meet you at the station?"

Kurt: "You're the best. I'll be there in 10. I promise!"

xXx

While waiting for Kurt he had promised himself to not ease up too quickly. He wanted to let him know that he couldn't just keep doing stuff like that. That he wasn't going to keep putting up with it. If Kurt wanted them to be friends he should show it.

The second Kurt stepped out of the train he completely left that thought behind though. Kurt was wearing tight black jeans, white shirt and a black, knitted cardigan over a black tie with silver flowers twirling up the fabric. His hair looked soft and was arranged perfectly. The only thing that seemed out of place was the brown, paper bag in his hand.

Blaine didn't get to ask about the contents of the bag, because before he even got to so much as open his mouth Kurt had thrown his arms around him.

"Thank you so much for still being here. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I didn't want to miss our night for anything, but all of this crazy stuff happened with troubles with the costumes and Dana got herself a stomach flu and suddenly I was late. I am so, so sorry," Kurt blabbered out so fast that Blaine nearly couldn't make out the words from each other.

He was speechless and breathless and he felt like an idiot for just standing there gawking at him, but he had no idea what to say. Eventually he shook himself out of his haze and regained the power of words.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. I was just… it's fine really," Blaine assured him and hoped that he didn't sound too baffled, so he hurried to change the subject.

"What's with the bag? Bringing your own dinner tonight?" He asked quickly, hoping they could completely abandon the issue of Kurt's delay.

Kurt's face lit up, like he had hoped for Blaine to ask so he could deliver the perfect introduction. A triumphant smile crossed his face and he started to open the bag.

"Now that you ask, m'darling, it is for you. Because I suck at keeping my schedule, and it's not fair to you, so I wanted to let you know that I truly am sorry. So I stopped on my hasty way to the train and got you this."

He dug his hand into the bag and produced a box of strawberries and a box of cranberry-and-chocolate cookies. He was smiling shyly, waiting for a response, but Blaine was taken off guard.

"You loved them when we were kids. I don't know if you still like them, I just figured that… it was the least I could do," Kurt shrugged and held his breath while anxiously waiting for the verdict.

"Thank you. This is - amazing. I have no idea when it was the last time I had this. I can't believe you remembered," Blaine burst out.

He remembered. How can he have remembered this small, insignificant, idiotic thing about me when so much has happened since?

He suddenly felt a rush of strong affect and a need to hug Kurt and never let go. They were back to being them again.

"This is actually perfect. I have something planned, so I hope you're cool with it. If you're not up for it we can always do something else of course," Blaine hurried to say. He had to let the need of being close to Kurt go. He couldn't do that. They weren't 6 and 7 years old anymore.

Kurt asked a few times what he had planned, but Blaine refused to tell him. He wanted to keep it as a surprise. Instead he led Kurt down the street and they kept bumping their shoulders awkwardly together like when they were kids.

After ten minutes walk Blaine stopped in front of an old movie theater and Kurt looked confused.

"Remember when we were kids at Silverlake and we always talked about how it would be to watch a movie in a real theater instead of just on the screen with all the other kids around us and the grown-ups telling us how to sit? Well, this theater does runs of children's movies early in the evening and we're watching Lion King in 8 minutes. If you want," Blaine beamed at him, but he was anxious.

He didn't have their tickets yet. He was so nervous that Kurt would think it to be the stupidest idea in the world, but now he had finally said it Kurt was grinning widely. He squeezed around Blaine's wrist and Blaine wanted to let his hand up to catch Kurt's.

"This is great, Blaine. Incredible," Kurt said shyly.

Yes. Perfect!

They got their tickets and hurried inside to find their seats. As soon as the movie started Blaine felt like he was back to being 6 years old and sitting on the beanbag in the TV room in the orphanage with Kurt next to him.

They shared the cookies and strawberries, and when the scene of Mufasa getting killed Blaine had to clasp his hand over his mouth to hold in a loud sob.

Kurt let his hand up to release Blaine's from his mouth and then he locked his fingers with Blaine's on the armrest between them.

They kept their hands locked throughout the entire movie. They both got startled at the same points and laughed at all the same things. By the end of the movie they were sitting with their shoulders so close that they nearly couldn't move their arms. Just like when they were kids.

"This was - Blaine, I don't know what to say. This was so fantastic. Thank you so much," Kurt said when they left the theater.

As soon as they were back outside it was like the moment had passed and they kept their hands to themselves. Not that Blaine wanted to or anything; he wanted to keep Kurt's hand in his always.

Blaine couldn't help smiling to himself. He wasn't done yet - he had one more thing planned for them and he was sure Kurt would love it.

When Blaine stopped in front of the planetarium Kurt squealed. He clearly already knew just from Blaine's smile when he stopped and turned to face him.

"Stars. I can't believe you're giving me stars in New York," Kurt said with a voice weak from being overwhelmed.

This time Kurt's hand found Blaine's the first thing when the lights were turned off. As soon as the stars started showing over their heads Kurt gasped and locked his gaze on the ceiling while clenching Blaine's hand tightly.

"Thank you," Kurt whispered thickly through the darkness, and when Blaine turned to look at him he found his eyes wet and tears on his cheeks, but a smile was taking up his entire face.

Blaine wiped his tears lightly away with his free hand and smiled back at him from the dark. He didn't say anything back, but couldn't stop looking at Kurt - he was much more remarkable than the stars and planets above them.

Kurt moved to sit so close that their arms were entangled in each other with their fingers locked. His hand was soft and strong, and he smelled like all the good childhood memories they shared. The feeling of his skin when Blaine had wiped his tears away was still burning on his fingertips and Blaine wanted to kiss his cheek so he could feel how his skin would be against his lips.

They kept their hands together until they reached the doors, but when they stepped out into the chill New York night it was like they silently agreed to let go. They walked so close that Blaine could still smell his perfume and every now and then their hands brushed against each other between them.

They slowly reached the station and both of them knew that this was it. They were about to say goodnight and go into opposite trains. What would happen after that neither of them knew, and Blaine felt sadness take over.

"So… I guess we'll see each other around or something, maybe I can come hear you play again soon," Kurt said awkwardly as he turned to face Blaine.

No. No. No. Can't we do something else? Go to a bar and talk for the entire night? We don't even have to talk, I just don't want you to leave yet, Blaine begged in his head, but bit his lower lip to stop the words from tumbling out his mouth.

The platform was quiet. The only thing to be heard was the sound from the cars on the streets, a couple fighting on the stairs and a homeless lady talking to her dog.

…and Kurt's train slowly getting closer to the station, simultaneously with Blaine's pulse pounding in his ears in panic.

Kurt took a step closer and locked his fingers around his wrist as he had done every night since they started seeing each other regularly.

"Thank you so much. For everything. I really don't deserve this. I've put you through so much, and yet you go ahead and plan this… marvelous night. You're still the most amazing person I've ever met, Blaine," Kurt smiled softly, and Blaine wasn't sure if he was even capable of keeping himself on his feet anymore.

His brain was going crazy. He needed to do something, make up an excuse for why Kurt couldn't go yet - the problem was he had nothing.

"I guess I'll have to go. Text me, okay?" Kurt said sadly, and started to walk away.

Blaine made a snap decision. Actually, he didn't make a decision, because he didn't have time to think it over. He let his wrist free of Kurt's fingers that had nearly left his arm and closed his hand around Kurt's so he could pull him back. All of a sudden their bodies were pressed against each other and he had no idea what he was doing. Kurt wasn't objecting, but everything was going so fast that he probably wouldn't have had time to anyway.

Blaine crashed his lips against Kurt's. He put his left hand to the lower of his back to press him closer even though it was nearly impossible for them to be closer than they already were. He let his right hand drift up to cup the back of Kurt's head, and by some miracle he could feel Kurt lock his arms around his waist and part his lips to let Blaine's tongue into his mouth.

Kurt's lips were like silk, but as soft and gentle as they were just as strong and determined were they. Their kiss was needy and sloppy, and Blaine was sure that he had a mix of too much saliva and way too dry tongue, but Kurt just kept his face locked to his own with a firm hand.

Blaine was sure that his insides were boiling. His blood felt like it was running so hot that it would damp away any second, and his head was spinning. He was sure that if Kurt let go off him he would sink to the ground, unable to do anything about it, and dissolve into a melted puddle of nothing.

His brain was roaring with noise and his pulse was cramping. He couldn't have Kurt close enough and he wasn't prepared to let him go. He could feel that his face was turning wet and he was uncertain whether it was him or Kurt who was crying, or maybe it was both of them - but he couldn't breath and they had to part.

They kept their hands on each other's faces, their noses so close that if they moved too fast it would result in tragic face injuries. They were panting against one another and Blaine could taste Kurt's breath on his throbbing lips. He was already craving for them to return but he was sure that they would pass out if he tried - not that it mattered, because that would be the best way in the world to pass out.

"Don't go now. Please, you can't leave now," Blaine begged, and he didn't care that he sounded pathetic with tears streaming down his face, and tears streaming down Kurt's face, because all that was important was that he did everything he could to convince Kurt to stay.

"I literally can't leave now. That was my last train," Kurt chuckled thickly against his lips, and strengthened his grip on Blaine's face.

Blaine giggled, he chuckled, he laughed and Kurt laughed with him. It was ridiculous. Here they were standing in the dark laughing against each other as if the world was light and bright around them. It really was in that moment.

"We can always… go to my place. Tina and Mike are out and - it's not some scam to get you to go home with me, I promise. It's just… come home with me, we can have a beer or something and you can wait for a cab. My train will be here in five minutes," Blaine smiled when they finally stopped laughing.

Kurt let his hand over Blaine's to lock around it and let it leave his face. He kept them together between them while he chewed on his lower lip.

"Okay. We can do that. I'll… let's do that then," Kurt said and smiled breathlessly at him.

Blaine felt his fingertips fill with butterflies. They flew through his veins to fill his arms, chest, belly, legs and his entire body. The wind was cool against his skin but he was feeling like it was a hot summer day.

They waited for the train in silence and neither of them said anything during the ride. When they arrived at Blaine's building he unlocked the door and turned on the lights. It wasn't much, but it was good enough for him, Tina and Mike. Now he hoped that it was good enough for Kurt too.

Blaine gestured for Kurt to sit on the couch while he went to the kitchen to get two beers. When he returned to the living room he realized how nervous he was, and that he was slightly shaking.

He sat down on the couch as well, not too close but not too far away either. He had no idea what to do or what would be appropriate. What was Kurt hoping to happen? What did Kurt want to happen? Should he offer him to find a number for a cab?

They drank their beers in more silence. Kurt was shyly looking around himself and took in the surroundings that was Blaine's apartment. The walls were filled with pictures from him and Tina growing up together, and as they grew older Mike and other friends had joined the pictures. It was casual and didn't really show that neither Tina nor Blaine had a family.

Blaine kept his gaze locked on the bottle in his hand. He wanted to look at Kurt so badly, to kiss him again and hold him close, but he was afraid that it wasn't okay. That previously only had been a moment of weakness and if he did anything now it would ruin everything. What if he already had ruined everything?

Out of nowhere Kurt's hand were on his neck and pulling his face against his own. Blaine quickly let himself into the motion and got his bottle away on the table. He had no idea what happened, but suddenly he was on top of Kurt on the couch with their tongues dancing lively while their lips were massaging each other.

Kurt's chest was pounding up and down under him, just as strongly as Blaine's own. Their breathing were heavy and their hands were all over each other. Kurt's one leg were between Blaine's, and Blaine's hand was caressing up and down his free thigh. Kurt's hands had dragged Blaine's shirt out of his pants and were now sliding up and down his back.

Blaine started kissing down his neck while Kurt was moaning into his ear. Kurt's hips were bucking upwards to rub his pelvis against Blaine's thigh, while Blaine was rubbing his crotch against Kurt's, and there was no doubt that they were both equally hard.

"Bedroom… wanna…" Blaine tried asking through kissing and sucking on Kurt's Adams apple but words failed him horribly.

"Yes. Now. Please," Kurt groaned weakly back and dug his nails into Blaine's back as he rubbed his crotch hard against Blaine's leg one more time before pushing him off.

"Where?" Kurt asked when they were both back on their feet, but Blaine didn't get to respond because Kurt was back to his mouth immediately.

Blaine led them awkwardly through the living room and to his bedroom with their lips not leaving each other for a second. He turned on the light to make sure they didn't fall over a bag or a chair or something, and they quickly ended on the bed.

Kurt's cardigan fell to the floor almost instantly while his fingers were fumbling with the buttons on Blaine's shirt. Blaine had Kurt's tie off and his shirt open much quicker than he had expected, and he realized the reality of his bowtie on the bed next to them and the fact that he was nearly shirtless next to Kurt.

He squeezed his eyes shut and all his fear of closeness and nudity splashed in over him. He had never been naked with another person in his life before, and he couldn't expect Kurt to understand. If he started telling him about that now it would only kill everything about to happen and Kurt would probably leave. He couldn't do that, he wanted this too badly.

"Condoms… we need… condoms," Blaine panted and sucked Kurt's lower lip into his mouth.

"Condoms… are you planning on something that will need more than one?" Kurt smiled deviously and turned Blaine to lie on his back so he could sit on top of him.

There Kurt was; shirtless, the outline of his hard cock extremely visibly in the jeans that were so tight it should be illegal of health reasons - and he wanted him. Just him, only him, right now!

Kurt leaned down to keep on kissing Blaine while he started opening his belt. He fumbled a little around before he had both belt and pants open. He moved slowly down Blaine's body to drag his pants off while simultaneously kissing him from his collarbone, over his chest and down to his navel.

Everything was twitching on Blaine from the inside and out. It was only a matter of time before Kurt would start taking off his boxers and he would be completely naked.

Kurt returned to lie next to him while teasing his fingers back and forth at the hem of Blaine's underwear, making chills run through him from head to toe.

"If you find condoms… I'll get rid of the rest of these annoying clothes," Kurt mumbled while sucking on Blaine's earlobe.

This was now or never. He had to either do it or miss anything there ever was. He panicked - he didn't have any condoms. He had never had sex in his own bed, in his own apartment. The only place he had ever had sex was in Sebastian's bed.

Tina and Mike. They had to have some.

"Alright. Don't leave," Blaine agreed as soon as he had turned it over in his head. He forced Kurt's face to collide with his in a kiss before he awkwardly got off the bed and tiptoed out the door.

It felt wrong to run around the apartment in nothing but his underwear. He had never done that before either, and he wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible. Where Kurt was waiting for him.

He dug through Mike's nightstand and luckily he found what he was looking for. He had no idea how much he would need or what the difference of the colors were so he grabbed a small handful, did his best to cover up his trace and rushed back to the room where he closed the door behind him.

As soon as he was a few feet away from the bed Kurt grabbed the elastic of his underwear and dragged him close. It wasn't until then that Blaine realized that Kurt was completely naked, sitting on his bed, and now he was kissing lightly over his stomach. Where no one had ever been allowed to kiss him before.

Blaine let the condoms drop to the bed so he could let his fingers run through Kurt's soft hair. Kurt saw it as an invitation and let his hands onto Blaine's back where he started letting them down his underwear.

His brain was clogged, and he couldn't stop looking down on Kurt kissing and sucking on the skin right above his waist. He licked softly over his exposed hips, and Blaine had a feeling that his nipples were so hard that it would be possible to cut glass with them.

He nervously let his hands from Kurt's hair down over his shoulders to indicate for him to move so Blaine could get down on the bed too. He wanted to crawl under the covers to not feel so put on display, but he didn't want to ask.

Kurt stared at him and let his fingertips run from Blaine's collarbone down his chest, over his ribs and down to end on his hand where he folded his hand around Blaine's. He moved to the other side of the bed and started to lie down and Blaine knew that he should as well so he did without a word.

Kurt moved so close to him that Blaine could feel Kurt's nipples stiff against his chest and his cock hard against his own through his underwear. It was surreal and frightening - yet incredible.

Before he knew it Kurt had started to drag his boxers down and Blaine lifted himself to make it easier for him. Now they were both naked and Blaine was afraid that he was going to die from the pressure.

He wanted to let his hands back to touch Kurt, but he couldn't move. He was paralyzed in the moment and all he could do was lie still and hope for Kurt to take control enough for something to happen.

"Top or bottom?" Kurt asked and pulled Blaine out of his stream of thoughts. He had not thought of that and now he was even more scared that whatever he said it wouldn't fit with Kurt and everything would fall to the floor.

Kurt placed innocent kisses on his lips, staring at him and waited for a response. He had to say something; take a stand, declare his position.

"B… uhm… bottom," Blaine said weakly.

"Hmm… I had guessed you to be top," Kurt smiled without as much as a trace of judgment or disappointment in his words or face.

Blaine wanted to apologize. To say that he could top if Kurt rather wanted it that way, but he didn't get to open his mouth before Kurt had snuck his leg in between Blaine's and were suddenly lying on top of him, pressing his naked frame against Blaine's.

It was too much. Blaine feared that he would start crying. His hands were still lying on the mattress next to him, and no matter what he did they refused to move. Kurt felt strong and athletic on top of him; but in a graceful way, like a gymnast, a ballet dancer or an ice skater - light and controlled.

The room was spinning and his lungs were working overload. His heart was cramping, and his blood was pulsing ten times faster than usual. Kurt's kisses were slow, but in charge and Blaine finally made his hands move. He let his fingertips run down Kurt's arms and ribs to end on the lower of his back.

Blaine was trembling, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he always did during sex, only this time it was because he was afraid that if he met Kurt's eyes he would see that he actually didn't know what he was doing.

"Are you nervous? You're almost shaking," Kurt asked and when Blaine forced his eyes open he looked worried. He had stopped his caressing of Blaine's arms and lifted himself a little to see his face properly.

"Just… a little," Blaine whispered embarrassedly.

"Blaine are you… are you a virgin?" Kurt suddenly asked as if all of the pieces fell into place for him, and Blaine could have buried himself.

"No. I'm just… I've never been, you know - naked, with anyone before -" he said sheepishly and made ready for Kurt to back off. He understood that this would be surely be too much, and too awkward, for him - what man in his twenties had never been naked with anyone before?

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to… push you into anything." Now Kurt seemed embarrassed and sad. His face filled with guilt and worry, so Blaine hurried to drag him down in a kiss.

"You didn't. I want this. I want you. Don't stop. Please. I don't know anything because I'm so awkward, but I trust you, so please - just help me through it," Blaine assured him, and suddenly he wasn't nervous anymore. All that was left of his nerves was a bit of unease in the back of his throat, but he knew that as soon as Kurt started kissing him again it would go away.

Kurt searched his eyes as if to make sure that he was telling the truth, to be sure that he was okay. He squeezed Blaine's arm lightly before he leaned back down so their lips almost met.

"Stop me if it's too much," he begged and Blaine nodded at him before he lifted his head to crash their lips together.

From there on it was more or less a mess of lips and tongues fighting for dominance. Every movement made Blaine certain that he was on the edge of explosion, and he could feel Kurt's pre-come smeared over his waist.

They rubbed their crotches against each other, and Blaine knew that he had never been so hard in his life. Kurt's breathing was hard and the heavier it sounded the more Blaine wanted him, so when Kurt let his hand slide from Blaine's knee down his thigh he knew what was coming and relief ran through him.

"I'm guessing there's no lube?" Kurt asked, but it mostly seemed like a statement.

He grabbed one of the condoms and ripped the package open with his teeth. He smeared the lubricant around his fingers and let it drop to the nightstand before he leaned back down to kiss Blaine who was sure he was about to turn crazy from the lack of kisses and touching.

Kurt let his fingers down Blaine's crack and he was suddenly extremely aware of himself. The feeling of Kurt sliding his fingers up and down his crack before he started to slowly let a finger enter his hole made Blaine's entire body tense, and it was like his skin was buzzing.

He kept reminding himself to relax, and it was easier with Kurt kissing him slowly and softly now. In return Blaine let his own hands caress up and down Kurt's chest, over his shoulders and down his back, until Kurt let his finger carefully slide deeper into him.

Blaine burst out a gasp into Kurt's mouth and he felt embarrassed by his reaction. Kurt held still for a while so he could let Blaine get used to the feeling, but it quickly became unbearable and Blaine dug his fingers into Kurt's shoulders and did an involuntary move of his hips.

Kurt started moving slowly in and out of him, and Blaine bent his leg on the mattress to make it easier for him. He could feel that Kurt was doing his best to be careful with him and he appreciated it, but he was getting harder and more desperate and just wanted more.

He let their kiss turn stronger and sloppier. His tongue turned harder and his grip around Kurt's arms transformed to a clench. Kurt crook his finger up and down, and without warning he let a second finger in, making Blaine do another gasp, this time without any embarrassment at all, especially because it made Kurt smile through their kiss.

"Fuck… Blaine - you're so tight," Kurt moaned against his lips.

Blaine felt his face go even redder than it already was, even though he had thought such a thing to be impossible. He couldn't figure out if Kurt meant that as a good or a bad thing, but he was scissoring and moving his fingers up and down making Blaine sure his voice would be high pitched if he was to say a word, as Kurt let one more finger enter him and Blaine couldn't help but tighten around him.

He sucked on Kurt's lower lip, panted into his mouth and was desperate to let his hands feel everywhere on his body. Without knowing it Blaine had locked his hand around Kurt's erection and started swiping up and down. Kurt smiled against his lips and whimpered high pitched against Blaine's cheek before he sat up.

He let his fingers slowly exit Blaine, making him groan and twist on the bed, but Blaine didn't let go off Kurt's cock. For a moment Blaine watched his hand working around him, while Kurt smiled down at him with joy filling his face.

After a brief moment Kurt grabbed for a new condom and got it free of the foil package, this time a little more careful than the last. He locked his fingers around Blaine's on his shaft to slowly stop him after swiping a few times with him.

Blaine couldn't take his eyes off of Kurt's face while he was rolling the rubber over his hard dick, and he was craving to have Kurt's body pressed back against his own. It was torture to lie there watching while he couldn't do anything and for a moment he considered starting to hand himself but he figured it would be too weird.

As soon as Kurt had the condom in place he dried his fingers on his own thigh before he started letting his hands run gently up and down Blaine's thighs. After a few strokes he ended his hands at the tendons of his knees and let Blaine's legs bend.

He leaned down to kiss Blaine without a trace of lust or sex, but sweet, passionately and deep. He broke off and lifted his head a little so he could let his eyes pierce into Blaine's.

"Are you ready?" He asked, his voice so low it was nearly a whisper.

It wasn't because he was nervous himself, he seemed confident and as if he had a complete hold of things - it was to make sure Blaine was comfortable, to make sure he didn't do anything without Blaine wanting it as well.

Blaine drew a heavy breath and realized what was going to happen. He smiled and gave Kurt an assuring nod with an urge to brush a hand over his pale cheek that was currently flushed in a bright red color.

Kurt smiled back at him, and as he let his hand lock around the root of his dick so he could slowly start to enter Blaine he didn't let his eyes go for a second. His free hand was up to support next to Blaine's face where Kurt was caressing his cheek softly with a thumb, a promise that he would take care of him.

As Kurt went deeper into him he released his hand and let it up so he could support on both arms, but both of his now free hands running his fingers into Blaine's hair with comforting strokes. When he was full in he stopped and leaned down to kiss Blaine under him, and Blaine held his hands on Kurt's back. He welcomed the kiss hungrily, and when Kurt thrust his hips to go a little deeper he couldn't stop a groan.

"It's okay? You okay, baby?" Kurt asked sweetly and stared Blaine in the eyes. He felt like he was back to being a virgin again, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was comforting and assuring the way Kurt just wanted him to be alright. This was how he wished that his first time had been - Sebastian had been honorable and gentle, but back then Blaine had done it as something he just wanted over with and because he was scared Sebastian would leave him if he didn't; with Kurt he just wanted it, wanted to share this part of him with Kurt.

"Yes. Please don't stop. It feels so good," Blaine blabbered out, heaving for breath, and a smile spread on Kurt's lips.

Blaine let his feet up to lock on Kurt's back. Kurt understood the message and started to slowly let his hips move himself in and out of Blaine in long, slow strokes.

The faster their kiss got, the faster Kurt thrust. Both of his hands were entangling his fingers in Blaine's hair now, and as Blaine felt himself tighten more he dug his fingers into Kurt's back. He heard himself pant loudly, and the heavier Kurt was breathing into his ear the heavier he was breathing himself.

He never knew sex could feel like this. The way Kurt held his arms around him, and the way Kurt's body made his own tremble and fill with gooseflesh made him feel safe and protected. It was extraordinary and he wanted the feeling to never stop. It was like the outer layer of his skin was ice cold, but the rest of the layers and all the way in to the core of his everything was on fire.

Even though Kurt was on top of him, holding his arms around him, was inside him; he only craved for him to be closer. He wanted Kurt deeper, faster and harder. He wanted Kurt to be a permanent part of him.

"Fuck, you're so good, Kurt," he heard himself whimper as Kurt started kissing down his jaw. He kissed his neck, his ear and his temple.

"Trust me," he whispered in Blaine's ear before he started to sit up, still moving inside of Blaine, and Blaine could see his abdomens working with every thrust.

Blaine panicked. He couldn't leave him, couldn't sit up so he could see him lying there spread out with nothing to cover him up - no, he needed to come back, but all Blaine could do was moan and whimper from Kurt moving his dick in and out of him.

Kurt let a hand run gently down Blaine's torso, massaging his nipple on the way, with caressing strokes over his ribcage he sent electricity through Blaine's body.

He let his hands close around the tendons of Blaine's knees so he could lift his legs higher and lock them by his shoulder blades instead, changing the angle so when he bucked his hips forward Blaine groaned weakly and a smile covered Kurt's face.

"You're so beautiful," Kurt said through a smile with his eyes looking heavy and blurry. He held his hands flattened lightly on Blaine's thighs, and started to thrust slower, but harder and deeper.

Blaine couldn't stop looking at him. He wanted to see every inch of his amazing body, every furrow of his eyebrows, every twist at the corners of his mouth, and every flicker in his eyes. His eyes that were running down Blaine's body to take him completely in before they locked back on his face - boring themselves into Blaine's eyes, making it real that he was having sex with lights on, exposed for Kurt to see all of him, and still holding eye contact because he didn't want Kurt's eyes to leave his ever.

Kurt bit his lower lip as he couldn't hold in a hard moan and Blaine wished that he hadn't. He looked so hot doing that but he wanted to hear him, because the sound of Kurt's moans was the sexiest sound in the world.

"I can't… I -" Kurt panted and thrust harder into Blaine as he arched his back and Blaine could see his muscles flex.

He hurried down to meet Blaine's mouth in a greedy kiss. His lips felt like he was trying to let them melt together and he was whimpering into his mouth as his hips and thighs were clasping hard against Blaine's ass filling the condom with come.

"Yes. Blaine, yes, don't let go now," Kurt groaned and Blaine retreated his mouth to make space for breathing and Kurt's words and sounds run freely.

He sounded weak and confident at the same time, it was a sore and nearly musical sound and Blaine wanted it to fill his body. He clasped his forehead against Blaine's temple and his lips against his cheek, and Blaine could feel his sweat and spit smear over his skin.

He went still. He didn't move anything but his heaving chest. All that was heard was his fight for oxygen and Blaine felt him tighten his grip around his shoulders.

Between them Blaine's balls were hard as rocks, and his cock was throbbing, but the moment was too remarkable to ruin it, so instead of saying anything he turned his head to kiss Kurt's jaw and cheek, when it was like a fire was re-ignited inside of him.

Kurt turned his face to catch Blaine's mouth just as forceful as before, but his breathing more even now. He lifted himself a little without pulling himself out of Blaine, but just enough to let his hand down between them.

His hand was slippery from sweating and his touch was gentle. He let his flat palm move over Blaine's dick from his head, down the shaft and down to cup around his balls lightly before he let his hand slide back up where he could get a hold.

He started moving his hand up and down around Blaine, and Blaine knew hat it wouldn't take much to push him over the edge, so he cramped his fingers around Kurt's arms.

It felt like his skin was shrinking on his body. He couldn't stop furrowing his eyebrows and he needed to kiss Kurt's collarbones that were so clearly mocking him by being so far away from his lips.

His brain started cramping and all muscles in his body flexed in one time. He couldn't think anymore, and it felt like he couldn't breath either. All he could do was stare into Kurt's eyes and feel how he was moving his hand, sliding his thumb through pre-come on his head and differencing his speed while breathing fast and looking down on him.

"Kurt, you're… yes, you're so good," Blaine groaned and as much as he wanted to warn Kurt he couldn't, because from one second to another his crotch, balls, shaft and head was on fire. Boiling spurts of firework were pulsing out of him and even though it was covering Kurt's hand he didn't stop but helped him through it while their eyes were locked together.

Blaine didn't even feel the need to close his eyes. The contrary actually, as he wanted the feeling of Kurt's eyes intensely staring directly into his soul never stop.

Kurt softly lowered himself down to kiss Blaine gently. No tongue, no force, nothing but their lips caressing each other while they were easing each other down from their orgasms. Blaine still didn't close his eyes and he was glad that Kurt didn't either because he needed it.

"You look so gorgeous when you come. That was better than stars in New York," Kurt whispered sweetly with his lips ghosting over Blaine's.

He had nothing to say to that. This entire night had been better than seeing stars in New York, everything about Kurt was better than stars in New York and he wanted to tell him.

Kurt placed an innocent peck on his lips before he moved his hand down to save the condom as he dragged himself out of Blaine. The feeling was unbearable and Blaine wanted to ask him to stop so they could stay locked together forever, but all he did was whimper from the feeling of Kurt leaving his body.

They were both so sweaty that their skin nearly slipped off each other, but Blaine got the nightstand drawer open and found out a box of Kleenex. Kurt cleaned both of them off, and walked over to let the used condoms and tissues find their way to the wastebasket by Blaine's desk.

Kurt grabbed the folded blanket from the chair and draped it over Blaine before he fell down to snuggle into him. He rested his head on his shoulder and locked his arm around his waist while kissing his neck and pressing his naked body against Blaine's.

"That was… wow," Blaine mumbled and kissed Kurt's hair and felt dumb. He surely should have been able to say something better than that.

His brain was fogging up and words were fighting each other to come out, but all he could think was that this was the best he had ever tried.

"I know. It was… spiritual," Kurt smiled and rested his forehead against Blaine's cheek. He was still sweating, they both were, but at least now they were breathing normally even though it had seemed impossible moments ago.

"You're not leaving now, are you?" Blaine asked before he could stop himself. He turned to lie on his side so he could see Kurt's eyes. He was terrified that now they were done Kurt would stay for a quick cuddle and then call for a cab.

Kurt chuckled at him and let his fingertips run soothing up and down his arm. Blaine's skin felt like it could break at any second, and the feeling of the light touch was like it was there for him to calm down and the fire slowly started to cool off.

"Surely I can't leave now. I don't fuck and run. Besides…"

He paused and it was like he was trying to tell Blaine something with his eyes, but he couldn't decipher his code and it was frustrating.

"This was more than just a fuck… wasn't it?" He asked and Blaine knew that it should have made him relax, but instead he felt his heart speed up.

He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out so he closed again. His lips formed a thin line and chewed on the inside of his cheek in a hope for the circulation to bring his power of speech back to him.

"It was. Much more than just a silly, random, whatever fuck. This was…" Blaine blabbered desperately out, and he couldn't stop the tears forming in his eyes no matter how stupid and childish it was, but he was scared that Kurt thought he had only invited him back to his apartment to have sex with him.

"Shh, I know," Kurt cooed and let his hand rest on Blaine's cheek. His thumb stroke back and forth over his skin to wipe the tears away regardless of how many was about to come.

Blaine's first instinct told him to close his eyes and look away so Kurt couldn't see his vulnerability, but he didn't - he kept his eyes locked with Kurt's and marveled over how his eyes managed to be both blue, green and golden in one time.

"What about I turn off the lights and we sleep?" Kurt suggested with a nearly maternal voice.

He didn't push a reaction out of Blaine even though he couldn't wrap his mind around anything, so he stayed silent for a long time. He blinked and nodded, hoping that he wouldn't sob and cursed himself as far away as possible because starting to cry in this precious moment was the worst thing he had ever done.

When Kurt started to get up Blaine held him down, held him pinned to the bed with his hands, but Kurt leaned in to kiss him gently so Blaine released his grip and watched him tiptoe to the door where he could turn the lights off covering them in nearly complete darkness, only broken by the streetlamp outside his window.

As Kurt returned to the bed he laid down on his back and gestured for Blaine to lie on him. He rested his head on the hollow spot of Kurt's shoulder. He kissed his chest and lifted his hand so he could kiss his fingertips as well before holding strongly around his waist.

Fatigue started to overwhelm him and he decided to let go, because Kurt would still be there in the morning so he didn't have to worry. He closed his eyes and listened to Kurt's heartbeat and breathing, when he felt Kurt's hand lock itself with his.

He wasn't lost anymore. He didn't feel homesick anymore. It hadn't been his family and the house he was born into he had missed - he had needed the only home he could ever remember having.