Dec. 29, 2011, 2:45 a.m.
Across The Universe: Chapter 5
E - Words: 4,660 - Last Updated: Dec 29, 2011 Story: Complete - Chapters: 16/16 - Created: Sep 23, 2011 - Updated: Dec 29, 2011 647 0 0 0 0
At first Kurt didn’t want Blaine to go with him to the hospital, but after his dad talked to him abort why it would be good for Blaine if to go; if he fully wanted to comprehend Kurt’s illness, then he needed to go, he eventually gave in seeing his dad‘s point.
Blaine sat in a chair next to him in the hospital squeezing his hand as the doctor took all of his tests, and Blaine covered Kurt’s eyes when the needles came out, even handing him a juice box when his tests were done.
As soon as they got home from the hospital Blaine called Puck.
The second Blaine told him that he wanted him to come to Kurt’s house Puck blew up at the other end of the phone. Blaine could almost hear Puck doing a victory dance wherever he was, and Blaine decided that he’d better just wait until Puck was done singing.
“Relax. Just come over, would you? It’s pretty serious. Don’t crack open the champagne yet. You might regret it when you know what this is about,” chuckled Blaine hollowly, instantly feeling bad that he had laughed when he was actually calling to give him this horrible message.
Puck got over there half an hour later, where he practically danced through the door throwing high fives to everyone he met. A broad grin was covering his face which made the contrast even more spoken when he stepped into the living room where Kurt was on the couch wrapped in blankets leaning against Blaine.
“Guys! Why the sad faces? You’re back together, right? I think it calls for a celebration.” Puck started swaying his hips as he crossed the floor to fall down in the armchair at the end of the table where he swung one leg over the armrest.
“Noah, there’s something really serious we need to tell you,” began Kurt.
As Blaine heard how his voice was threatening to crack he decided to let a hand down and let his fingers lock in Kurt’s to show his support. Kurt immediately squeezed back and took a mouthful of air before exhaling heavily.
“Noah. I’m sick. Really sick,” said Kurt, his voice weak and trembling. Blaine was staring into the floor. He was trying his best to tune out the words - he couldn’t stand the thought of hearing it again.
Puck was gazing confused at Kurt, his mouth hanging open and his eyes were blank.
“What? Like a cold or something?” he asked, clearly already knowing that it was a ridiculous question. His eyes flickered between Blaine and Kurt as if he was about to blow up from anticipation.
“Puck. I have cancer. But - please don’t freak out. Could we just agree that it’s nothing to act ridiculous over?” Kurt was starting to sound angry. Blaine knew that he just wanted it over with so they could proceed to hanging out and not talking about him.
“What?! Are you shitting with me, Hummel?” Puck blinked a few times before he shook his head in disbelief.
“Are you serious, dude?” He abruptly changed to sound very innocent. He got to his feet and ran over to kneel on the floor next to Kurt.
“I am so sorry, man. How long have you known? Why didn’t you say anything?” He trailed off in his chain of questions when he saw the look on Kurt’s face.
“I don’t wanna talk about it, okay? I just want to pretend that it’s not there,” Kurt snapped at him, but hurried to run his fingers through his Mohawk with a smile.
“I’m sorry. I know you’re just worried, and I understand that you’re shocked, but I just really don’t feel like talking about it, it’s so depressing,” Kurt apologized to him making the corners of Puck’s mouth go a little up again.
“But - does that mean that it’s the reason you’ve been acting like that lately? Like being bitchy without reason and doing all kinds of crazy stuff that you usually wouldn’t do? I mean - it’s been really cool and all, but it’s been pretty confusing to deal with you, man,” proclaimed Puck not really looking at Kurt as he said it.
A smirk spread across Kurt’s face and Blaine wasn’t sure if it was the good or the bad kind.
“Yes, Puckerman. That is the reason I have been a bitch.” Kurt stuck his tongue out at Puck who exhaled in a way that made Blaine think he had been holding his breath until he got a reaction.
“All things aside; I am so happy that you’re back together. It just wasn’t right for you to not be together, you know what I mean? I can just feel in my body that you are meant to be.” He made a grimace to illustrate exactly what he was talking about, but all it did was make Blaine and Kurt giggle at him.
“Now can we please talk about something else?” Kurt started waving his hands desperately around his head as if to make the problem disappear in a cloud of smoke.
Puck laughed a bit awkwardly at him clearly not really knowing how to handle it; instead of reacting he got up to sit on the couch next to Kurt so they could all spend the rest of the day together.
*
Puck kept on coming over every day after work. He was just as worried about Kurt as everyone else was, but he was the only one Kurt didn’t snap at whenever he started getting overly concerned.
After he and Blaine got back together Kurt started getting better. He wasn’t as pale as before and the dark rings under his eyes disappeared. His hair got back to it’s usual shiny self and his energy level got progressively better day by day.
Blaine made sure that he followed all the rules the doctors made for him on what to eat and what not to. He also saw to Kurt getting fresh air and the right amount of sleep.
Kurt rolled his eyes at him, but Blaine didn’t doubt for a second that he enjoyed Blaine taking care of him.
After a week in bed the doctors thought it okay for him to go back to school which put Blaine at the edge of his seat, while Kurt waved him off telling him to chill out.
Once Kurt was back in school they threw away every precaution they had ever had about being seen together publicly. They would spend every break together with their fingers intertwined, embracing each other or taking turns sitting on each other’s lap while hanging out with their friends.
When Kurt was having a bad day they would usually keep to themselves, but when he was having a good day Kurt would be all over the place. He would tell high school stories, or do an impromptu performance of any Broadway number that he would be in the mood for. People would gather around him to cheer and clap while Blaine would stand in a corner smiling proudly at him.
One day Blaine was walking down the hall during social studies on his way from class to the library when Kurt suddenly dragged him into the men’s room where he pushed him into a stall.
“Let’s fuck!” Kurt whispered with big excited eyes before he started kissing up and down Blaine’s neck.
“We can’t do that here. It’s school,” objected Blaine, but it didn’t stop Kurt. He pushed him up against the wall and started unzipping Blaine’s pants.
Before Blaine knew it Kurt had put his hand down his boxers and started rubbing up and down while he pressed his torso up against Blaine’s.
Blaine felt every hair on his body stand up as he listened to Kurt’s heavy breathing in his ear while feeling the movement of his hand send electric waves through his nervous system.
Then he gave in and let his lips attack Kurt’s violently putting his hands to Kurt’s face while sliding his tongue in his mouth to let it play with Kurt’s while their lips were heavily massaging each other.
He felt himself getting harder the more Kurt let his hand move up and down inside his pants. Blaine thanked god that Kurt was wearing baggy pants with elastic waistband today.
He let his own hand down Kurt’s underwear feeling him sigh against his neck as Blaine’s hand closed. He started working his hand around Kurt while kissing him on the neck.
“Kurt. We can’t - do this. Ugh - what if someone comes in?” Blaine had to fight to get his words out without moaning and groaning too loudly. He was desperately trying to let his brain stay clear but he couldn’t even keep his eyes open anymore.
“Well then you just - shit - have to be quiet, won’t you?” teased Kurt in a high pitched voice. They both smiled against each other’s skin as Blaine almost had to tip toe to make it easier for Kurt to get it right.
In a second Blaine felt a rush go through him. He got out his hand to take a few steps forward forcing Kurt to slam his back against the wall. He reached down and grabbed around both of Kurt’s wrist and slammed both of his hand against the wall too. As he held back Kurt’s arms he pressed his body against Kurt’s feeling their hard dicks against each other.
Blaine leaned in as if to kiss him, but stopped right before their lips met and chuckled at the way Kurt desperately stretched out his neck to reach for Blaine without any luck.
“Fuck you, Blaine. Don’t leave me hanging like this -” gasped Kurt trying to rub his waist against Blaine’s.
“Well fuck you then,” replied Blaine and got back at him by biting hard down in Kurt’s lower lip before he let their hands slide down the wall so Blaine could kneel down in front of him.
He started letting the tip of his tongue carefully slide up and down making Kurt sigh and gasp which only led Blaine to feel like teasing him even more, when he remembered that they actually were in school and could risk someone walking in on them any second.
“Do it, Blaine - take it in, please,” begged Kurt through gasps when Blaine let his entire tongue work it’s way around the shaft of his dick.
It didn’t take long until Blaine had let his lips take in Kurt’s cock, feeling the veins almost pounding against his lips and tongue.
He raised his chin to make Kurt’s head rub against the roof of his mouth causing Kurt to desperately try and get his hands free - but Blaine just tightened his grip around his wrists so he couldn’t move. Instead he started grinding his hips back and forth feeling himself hit against the back of Blaine’s mouth both of them having trouble to stay calm.
A slam sounded and they both knew what had happened. Blaine hurried to stand up and started closing his jeans while Kurt let the back of his head fall back in the corner of the stall.
Blaine walked close to Kurt keeping his hands on Kurt’s hips as he started kissing him lightly both of them struggling to avoid bursting out in a giggle while they listened to a couple of guys mumbling together in the bathroom behind the door.
As soon as the guys had left the bathroom they couldn’t keep it in anymore and cracked up. They laughed so hard that their stomachs started hurting and Kurt had trouble standing up.
When they both got back to their senses they kissed each other deeply and left the stall hand in hand, both extremely red in the face but couldn’t stop themselves grinning widely as walking down the halls of the school to get back to their classes.
The rest of the day they kept to themselves in a corner of the library under the excuse that they had to study when in reality they were busy making out behind the bookcases.
Blaine knew that he had to go home to his parents once they left school so he did what he could to drag out their time in the library. He couldn’t stop a thought in the back of his head that if he left Kurt to go home by himself he might get sick again and he couldn’t have that happening.
He still hadn’t told his parents about Kurt being sick. He couldn’t predict their reaction and he was afraid that it was going to cause an uproar in the Anderson house. And he had to admit to himself that he had the feeling that if he didn’t say it out loud, then maybe it wouldn’t be necessary and Kurt would get better soon, and then it would disappear and it would all have been as if he had never been sick.
“I have to go home for a bit. I haven’t been home in days,” said Blaine apologetic when they started to pack up their notes and books that had been spread out across the table.
Kurt’s mouth dropped from a smile to a frown. Blaine could see it in his eyes; that he didn’t like the idea.
“Can’t you wait until tomorrow? Then I can go with you,” he asked avoiding Blaine’s look. They knew each other so well. Well enough to be able to see through the other’s act when there was something they were trying to hide.
“I’m sorry. I can’t. I promised my mom to come home. She - she doesn’t know about you, and she’ll start to worry if I spend every night at your place. I’m sorry, we’ll see each other at school and then we can hang with Puck and Finn over the weekend, alright?” Blaine truly was sorry. There was nothing more he wished for than to be with Kurt all the time. He was afraid to miss just a few seconds of time with him, but he also knew that he owed it to his mom to be home.
They drove to Kurt’s house together after school so Blaine could pick up his stuff and take his own car to his parents’ house.
Kurt had let himself drop to the bed curling up around a pillow not even looking at Blaine.
“I’ll have to go now. But I’ll see you tomorrow, right? Please be safe,” said Blaine softly and bend down to kiss Kurt on the hair before he picked up his bag and started going towards the door. Only the second his hand closed around the door handle he was stopped.
“You promised you wouldn’t leave me. You promised,” cried Kurt. It was hard for Blaine to determine if he was sad or angry. Very possibly a mix. Maybe Kurt didn’t even know himself. Nonetheless Blaine took a deep breath and turned on his heel to face him. He was still lying on the bed clutching Blaine’s pillow with his nose dug into it.
“Kurt, that’s not fair. You know that I have to do this. I can’t just stay away from home all the time.” Blaine didn’t know what to say. It really wasn’t fair. Kurt knew that he would make Blaine feel guilty by playing the promise-card. Didn’t Kurt understand that Blaine was already feeling guilty that he had to leave? Even if it was something he had to do.
“But you promised. And now you’re just leaving me!” screamed Kurt. He had sat up in the bed his face wet with tears dripping down on the pillowcase. His eyes were red and he was back to being unnaturally pale. Blaine felt a knot in his throat by the sight of him looking like that.
“You’re being unreasonable now. You know that I’m coming back. Or maybe I could stay with you until tonight and just go home to sleep,” proposed Blaine, taking a few small steps closer to the bed where Kurt was starting to shiver.
Blaine wished so desperately that he could just cross the floor and put his arms around his boyfriend to calm him down, but he knew that if he tried he would get even more hysterical.
“No. Screw you, Blaine. Just get the fuck out,” whined Kurt and threw the pillow in his face before he turned his back on Blaine and laid back down sobbing into the bedspread.
“Fine. If you wanna be a drama queen that’s your choice. I’m going now. See you later,” said Blaine exhausted and left the room, painfully knowing that Kurt would spend the rest of the day crying until he had cried himself to sleep that night.
Blaine stood in the hall outside Kurt’s room for a few minutes listening to him cry on the other side of the door. He was fighting himself to not go back in there and cry with him. But if he did that he would never get back to his parents and he wouldn’t be able to spend the weekend with Kurt, which he knew would hurt both of them even more.
Blaine walked down the stairs to the living room where he found Burt and Carol on the couch watching TV so he went over to say goodbye, letting them know that he had to leave for a few days.
“Hey honey. Are you going home?” asked Carol when they noticed him. Blaine wanted to answer, but instead he just settled for nodding at her. He wasn’t sure if his voice would betray him if he opened his mouth.
“Sweety, come over and sit down for a minute,” said Carol and beckoned for him to sit in the chair next to her. Blaine didn’t know what else to do, so he left his bag on the floor next to the stairs and walked over to sit down as he was told.
“Listen, it’s not Kurt talking when he acts like this. It’s the disease taking over his body. All of the chemicals the doctors are filling him with are making him unstable, and whenever he gets a fit like this it’s mostly just because he’s scared. I know that it’s very often you that has the bulls eye on your back and have to take all of his hits; but it’s because he’s afraid that you’re gonna give up. He loves you so much and he’s so afraid that one day you’ll get out of that door and not come back. Because you won’t be able to take it anymore.”
Carol let up a hand to cup Blaine’s cheek. He smiled gratefully at her and nodded. He knew that she was right, and he kept telling himself the same thing.
“Sometimes it’s just so exhausting to stay strong. I wanna be there for him; and support him and show him that no matter how much he breaks down he can count on me - but in reality I just wanna break down too. I just cant’ do it in front of him.”
He couldn’t look at them. He had never been able to talk to his own parents like this, and he was still trying to get used to how openly Burt and Carol were treating him. They had more than several times made it clear that he could come to them with anything he needed to get off his chest - even before Kurt got sick.
“I know, honey. But you are doing such a good job. You’ve been standing so strong and I’m sure he understands even if he’s not showing it. Just go home and get your head cleared for a few days and we’ll keep him occupied. You need some space.”
*
“Hey baby. You’re home. It’s been a while since we’ve seen you.” Blaine’s mom was in the kitchen when he got home. He felt a bit awkward and dumped down in a kitchen chair without saying anything, just smiling at her in hello.
She came over and put a cup of coffee in front of him and sat down in the other chair. She just sat there staring at him for a few minutes.
“Your dad’s not home. He’s gonna be out of town for some work the next few days so I was hoping you’d come home.” She took a sip of her own mug before she started looking concerned.
“Blaine. Are you okay? We never see you anymore, and when you’re home you keep to your room and never talk to us. We don’t even see you hang with Noah and Finn anymore and you look so tired and troubled all the time. What’s going on? Is it something with that boy - Kurt?”
And that was it. That was enough. Blaine broke down and hid his face in his hands hearing his mom gasp in surprise. He heard her chair scratch over the kitchen floor and felt her fingers run through his hair.
“My god, Blaine. What’s happening? Talk to me, baby,” implored his mom in desperation.
He took a deep breath before he looked up. He didn’t even bother to wipe the tears of his cheeks because he knew that they weren’t going to stop anytime soon. His lower lip was shivering and his eyes were stinging from the salt water.
“It’s Kurt, mom. He’s sick. Really sick. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but he just keeps getting worse all the time. Sometimes I think he’s getting better and everyone is optimistic, but then he changes all around and gets worse.” He felt pathetic sitting whining to his mommy like this, but he felt so relieved to be able to say it out loud to someone outside.
“But, Blaine - why haven’t you told me? What’s wrong with him? How long has this been going on? It‘s not AIDS is it?” She took his hand and squeezed it hard before getting up to find a box of Kleenex to put on the table between them. He looked at the cardboard box, but didn’t take any of the paper towels. It felt pointless to do so.
“No, mom, it’s not AIDS. Jesus. Neither of us have had any boyfriends before we met each other. He’s got -” He had to pause to gather up the courage to let the word over his lips. He hadn’t said it out loud since Burt had been in the kitchen and told him about Kurt’s condition.
“He’s got cancer. He’s known for some good few months now. His dad told me around a month ago. It’s just so freaking hard. Sometimes he looks so amazing and jumps around and seems even better than I feel, and other days I’ve got to stop myself before thinking that it’s over.” He threw his hands in the air as if he hoped for something magical to happen by it.
But nothing did happen. His mom just sat staring at her devastated son, not knowing what to do or say. The entire atmosphere in the kitchen had changed abruptly.
Blaine was sure that all of the oxygen had been sucked out the room and there had been created a vacuum separating them from the real world.
Then his mom did something she hadn’t done since he was a little boy; she got up from her chair and forced him to get up too so she could fold her arms around him.
She let her hands caress up and down his back, stroking his hair making consoling sounds just letting him dry out without pressuring him to talk or stop crying.
It had been a very long time since Blaine had been so happy about opening up to his mom.
After they had been standing in the kitchen for a bit of time Blaine felt his eyes itching. He was certain that he had cried out every drop of water in his body and he suddenly felt drained of all energy.
His mom cupped his face in her hands and put on a brave smile for him when she felt that he had stopped sobbing into her sweater.
“Listen, what do you think about asking Kurt over tomorrow? If he’s feeling well enough? Your dad won’t be home until Friday night, so you don’t have to hide in your room all day. I promise I’ll be nice.” She sounded a bit reluctant in her suggestion, as if she wasn’t sure if she was entitled to make such a proposition.
Kurt had only met Blaine’s parents once.
Kurt had been nicely dressed, not too extreme, and he had acted politely addressing them as Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, but Blaine’s dad had still refused to shake his hand. His mom had kept in the background smiling at Kurt, but not reaching out her hand either. Blaine had been convinced that she wanted to say hi to Kurt but didn’t have the guts to do it in front of his father - and here was the proof.
“That sounds great, mom. Thank you.” Blaine smiled at his mom through the dried tears and nodded at her in gratitude.
She leaned in to kiss him on the forehead before giving him one more hug and then tried to distance the news by asking about laundry and school - anything that didn‘t relate to Kurt being sick.
Blaine appreciated that she kept off the subject for the rest of the night. He almost forgot about it as they played piano and sang together, or when they watched TV.
They talked about how Finn was doing away at college and she asked if Puck still maintained his work, he told her about some designs Kurt had been working on and was considering sending to some big clothing brands. He was surprised how much interest she seemed to genuinely hold in his life. They never got to talk this freely when his dad was around.
By the end of the night Blaine had fallen asleep on the couch and his mom had to wake him up to get him to bed as if he had been 8 years old again. It was nice to get back to being a child for a bit - even if it was only for a few hours.
*
The next day in school Kurt acted as if nothing had happened the day before, and Blaine decided that it was probably for the best for him to act that way too. He didn’t want to mess anything up as Kurt seemed to be in a really good mood.
“Can I talk to you for second?” asked Blaine as they met in front of the biology room during fourth period. Kurt seemed confused by Blaine’s expression and looked around as if to see if someone was overhearing them.
“What’s going on, Blaine?” said Kurt. His eyes flickered from Blaine’s eyes to his mouth like he expected his lips to open and reveal some horrible monster. His blue eyes shifted and started looking more gray with a tint of green.
“Yesterday when I got home I - I told my mom, okay. I broke down and told her everything. I am so sorry, I know I promised that it was only gonna be Puck, but I just had to get it out.” He stopped himself to wait for Kurt to explode and make a scene in the middle of the hall. He almost squinted to avoid any flames hitting him in the eye when it happened.
But it never did. Kurt just stood there looking at him as if he hadn’t heard what he had said at all.
“Well, then - then my mom suggested that you could come home with me after school today. My dad’s out of town so she said that we don’t have to hide away in my room. I think she really wants to get to know you, we talked about you all day yesterday,” continued Blaine choosing his words carefully.
“That sounds lovely. I just need to get home first,” answered Kurt, his eyes switching back to blue, sending Blaine a teasing smile.
Then he walked past Blaine and proceeded his way down the hall to the other end of the school. Blaine turned to watch him slowly disappearing, grinning to himself about how much he enjoyed watching his hips sway as he walked, and the way his ass looked in those jeans. In any jeans. Or without anything at all.