May 19, 2013, 8:37 p.m.
I Know You're Scared It's Wrong: Chapter 8
E - Words: 1,986 - Last Updated: May 19, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 8/? - Created: Oct 17, 2012 - Updated: May 19, 2013 152 0 0 0 0
Kurt was ready to talk to Blaine. Well, he had been ready since the night before, after he and Rachel had their talk. He couldn't lose Blaine. Not to this, not to any of this. Sure, he was so crazy about this man, but if he didn't have Blaine at all - because of all this, of how much he wanted Blaine - then he would be torn up inside. Blaine was great, Blaine was sweet, Blaine understood him, and Kurt couldn't lose that. No, he wouldn't lose that. So them actually just being friends, that is what he was going to do. He had to, for their friendship.
Kurt pulled out his phone, needing to text Blaine and see if he was home and ready to talk.
From Kurt: Are you home?
From Blaine: Yes of course.
From Kurt: Can I come over, so we can talk now?
From Blaine: Yes, I'll leave the door open so u can just walk in.
From Kurt: Okay, I'll be there in a few.
From Blaine: See u soon.
Kurt gathered up his courage before walking out of his room, and down the stairs, when he bumps into his dad.
"Dad, what are you doing here? I thought you went to work?" Kurt asked, wide eyed and shocked, not knowing his dad was going to be there.
Burt looked up, taking in Kurt for a few seconds before he spoke. "I had someone take my shift for the day. I've been a little tired. What's going on?" He asked, staring hard at Kurt. "Where you going?"
"Oh," Kurt turned to look at the door, then back to his dad. "I was just.. Rachel and I were going to go to the mall today, and get some clothes," Kurt lied, biting his bottom lip. He hated lying to his dad, but it was just necessary for him at the moment. He didn't want him to know what he was actually doing, or god forbid, him actually finding out where he was going.
"O-kay," Burt mumbled, still looking at Kurt.
"Okay, so I'm just.. I'm going to go now, and I'll see you later," Kurt hurried to say, walking toward the door.
"Yeah, see you later, kid."
-
Kurt shut the door behind him, taking a deep breath. His dad almost ruined everything. Luckily he didn't press Kurt on where he was going, because he knew if his dad kept at it he wouldn't have been able to lie anymore. Shaking off the fear of almost being caught, Kurt made his way over to Blaine's.
Kurt was just about to knock on the door, when he remembered what Blaine said about just letting himself in. Opening the door, Kurt walked in, shutting the door, before looking around for Blaine.
"Hello!" Kurt called out, still not seeing Blaine anywhere. He did know Kurt was coming, so where could he be?
Kurt looked around the house for a few minutes, before Blaine walked out the bathroom, and smashed right into Kurt.
"Whoa, " Blaine yelled, startled, grabbing onto Kurt's arms to keep him from falling onto the floor. "Are you okay?" Blaine asked, biting down on his lip and trying hard not to laugh.
Kurt's mouth dropped open, taking in Blaine wanting to laugh at him. "You're an asshole, Blaine. I could have been hurt, and you are laughing at me. Your fat ass eat likes a pig, so you could have severely injured me," Kurt rambled on, while Blaine still tried not to laugh.
Blaine shook his head, composing himself. "I'm sorry. Okay," Blaine took a deep breath, before he was once again calm. "I am sorry. You're okay right? My fat ass didn't hurt you?"
Kurt tried hard not to let the little smile that was threatening to form on his mouth show, but he couldn't stop it. Looking up at Blaine, a small smile on his face. "Yes, I'm fine. Your fat ass isn't all that bad." Kurt replied, waking away from Blaine and going into the living room.
"So," Kurt began, wanting to get right down to business. "We should talk now? I mean, that is why I came, and that is what we said last night," Kurt finished, watching as Blaine came to sit down next to him.
"Yeah, okay. I want to go first though, because there are some things I really want to say, and dinner last night with your dad, well that put everything into perspective for me," Blaine announced, turning his body so that it was faced toward Kurt.
"Okay, but first. Dinner, how was it?" Kurt questioned, wanting to know if anything came up, anything about them.
"It went great," Blaine answered, clearing his throat a bit. "Now I wan-"
Blaine was cut off by Kurt asking more questions about his night out with his dad. "What did you guys talk about?"
"Work and stuff. Kurt that's not important right now, okay? We're supposed to talk about everything between us, not what me and your dad talked about over dinner," Blaine retorted, sighing loudly. He didn't understand why Kurt was asking all these questions about the dinner he had with his dad. They always had dinner occasionally every few months, and Kurt never had anything to say about it then. "Now, later if you still want to know we can talk about it, okay?"
Kurt nodded, leaning back onto the couch, watching Blaine closely as he spoke.
"Okay. First off, you've been avoiding me, and I know it has to do with the kiss, but I don't -I thought we talked about it, and you weren't mad. I don't understand what happened," Blaine begged, wanting Kurt to tell him why he was so upset after they had talked about it.
Sighing, Kurt took a deep breath, before speaking. "I just," Kurt started before stopping, taking a deep breath and then continuing. "Okay, yes. I was avoiding you, because of the kiss and how it always kept happening and how it's like you keep leading me on. I just... I was mad because of how much I want, what I want, and how it can't and won't happen. It hurt okay, knowing you kissed me because you wanted to, and then have you throw it back at me. I had a lot of time to think about it that night, and I just couldn't handle it."
"I'm sorry. I'm.. Kurt I am so sorry. I never wanted to make you feel like that. I've just been so confused, and my head has been so messed up, that I didn't know what was wrong and what was right anymore. I know wanting you is wrong though, I know it, but god, Kurt. There is something in me that just makes it hard to stay away from you, and to deny you. I wanted to so much." Blaine pushed himself up straighter, looking down at his hands. ‘I didn't want to get in too deep with you, and I tried, I tried to resist you. To not want you. But it's hard and it gets harder every day I am around you, because no matter how much I thought I knew you. I didn't, not until we started hanging out did I actually get to know the real you, and what I realized in getting to know you was how perfect, and amazing you are and how much I care about you, when in reality it's too much, Kurt." Blaine stopped. He didn't know where to go from there. He knew what he wanted, but he was scared to actually try to take it. "I feel so much for you, and I don't know how to fight it anymore. I don't know if I want to." Blaine's eyes moved up, until they were boring into Kurt's own.
"Blaine?" Kurt asked, confused as to what was going on.
"Kurt, I can't. Last night your dad was hounding me about how I need to date, and he asked me if I liked someone and all I could think about was you, and how much you mean to me. All I could think was how much of an idiot I was for keeping us apart, when we should be together. Because two people that care about each other as much as we do shouldn't be apart, right?" Blaine asked, desperately, looking at Kurt like he was in pain.
Blaine moved closer to Kurt, taking Kurt's hands in his own. Before Kurt had any chance to answer Blaine was speaking again. "I think it's so wrong to want you. But then I want to kiss you, hold you and hug you, and suddenly it doesn't feel wrong. " Blaine admitted, lacing his and Kurt's fingers together.
"Blaine, when I wanted to talk to you, this was pretty much the opposite of what I was going to say. I was going to talk about how I am willing to just be friends, for real this time, and you go and ruin it all. By saying what exactly?" Kurt questioned, swallowing hard.
"Well, if that is what you came here to say, then yes I ruined it, completely. I'm glad though, because you don't want that, just as much as I didn't want that before. I know you. You are just like me, in the things that we want and what you want is what I want, and what I am finally willing to give into," Blaine confessed, moving his body much more closer to Kurt. "I want this. I want us. I don't care anymore how wrong it may seem, because I know it's right."
Kurt's eyes fluttered closed, trying to keep the tears that were threatening to spill at bay. Kurt didn't succeed, because the tears started to slowly fall from his eyes. "You think that now that you're ready I am just going to be willing to jump and be with you?"
"No, I don't, but I hope you will." Blaine suggested, his voice thick with so much emotion. "You're perfect, Kurt and I know I have been stupid, so stupid, actually. But I'm here, and my arms and my heart are open for you. Please don't push me away," Blaine plead, gripping Kurt's hand in his own.
"Goodness, Blaine. I had made up my mind about this and here you are, giving me what I want the most," Kurt swallowed hard, pushing himself closer to Blaine, before resting his forehead on Blaine's own and breathing him in. "What about everything you said? What about my dad?"
"We'll deal with it all as it comes," Blaine promised, moving his hand to touch Kurt's cheek and pull Kurt's face back so that they were eye to eye. "So what do you say? How about we take the world on, together?"
The tears on Kurt's cheeks had long dried, and now they were replaced with a bright smile. Nodding, Kurt moved his own hand to touch Blaine's cheek. "Yes, please."
Letting out a chocked sob, Blaine crashed their lips together, finally happy that he doesn't have to pull away so quickly this time.
Kurt was quick to wrap his arms around Blaine's neck, pulling him in closer, as he opened his mouth to let Blaine's tongue in.
Blaine's tongue moved around Kurt's mouth, mapping it out as he licked. He pulled away, resting their foreheads together once again. "Oh my god. This is happening," he commented, a happy feeling bubbling up in his stomach for the first time in months.
"Yeah, it's really happening. Finally." Kurt said, delightedly. He pulled away so that he could look at Blaine's beautiful face. "So what now? We're boyfriends?" He asked nervously, playing with his fingers behind Blaine's neck.
"I would really like that. If you want, of course." Blaine wanted it, more than anything. But he didn't know how Kurt would feel about jumping head first after how long Blaine had made him wait. He hoped that Kurt wanted it, just as much as he did.
"I want it." Was all Kurt said before attaching his and Blaine's mouths together once more.
Kurt was ready to talk to Blaine. Well, he had been ready since the night before, after he and Rachel had their talk. He couldn't lose Blaine. Not to this, not to any of this. Sure, he was so crazy about this man, but if he didn't have Blaine at all - because of all this, of how much he wanted Blaine - then he would be torn up inside. Blaine was great, Blaine was sweet, Blaine understood him, and Kurt couldn't lose that. No, he wouldn't lose that. So them actually just being friends, that is what he was going to do. He had to, for their friendship.
Kurt pulled out his phone, needing to text Blaine and see if he was home and ready to talk.
From Kurt: Are you home?
From Blaine: Yes of course.
From Kurt: Can I come over, so we can talk now?
From Blaine: Yes, I'll leave the door open so u can just walk in.
From Kurt: Okay, I'll be there in a few.
From Blaine: See u soon.
Kurt gathered up his courage before walking out of his room, and down the stairs, when he bumps into his dad.
"Dad, what are you doing here? I thought you went to work?" Kurt asked, wide eyed and shocked, not knowing his dad was going to be there.
Burt looked up, taking in Kurt for a few seconds before he spoke. "I had someone take my shift for the day. I've been a little tired. What's going on?" He asked, staring hard at Kurt. "Where you going?"
"Oh," Kurt turned to look at the door, then back to his dad. "I was just.. Rachel and I were going to go to the mall today, and get some clothes," Kurt lied, biting his bottom lip. He hated lying to his dad, but it was just necessary for him at the moment. He didn't want him to know what he was actually doing, or god forbid, him actually finding out where he was going.
"O-kay," Burt mumbled, still looking at Kurt.
"Okay, so I'm just.. I'm going to go now, and I'll see you later," Kurt hurried to say, walking toward the door.
"Yeah, see you later, kid."
-
Kurt shut the door behind him, taking a deep breath. His dad almost ruined everything. Luckily he didn't press Kurt on where he was going, because he knew if his dad kept at it he wouldn't have been able to lie anymore. Shaking off the fear of almost being caught, Kurt made his way over to Blaine's.
Kurt was just about to knock on the door, when he remembered what Blaine said about just letting himself in. Opening the door, Kurt walked in, shutting the door, before looking around for Blaine.
"Hello!" Kurt called out, still not seeing Blaine anywhere. He did know Kurt was coming, so where could he be?
Kurt looked around the house for a few minutes, before Blaine walked out the bathroom, and smashed right into Kurt.
"Whoa, " Blaine yelled, startled, grabbing onto Kurt's arms to keep him from falling onto the floor. "Are you okay?" Blaine asked, biting down on his lip and trying hard not to laugh.
Kurt's mouth dropped open, taking in Blaine wanting to laugh at him. "You're an asshole, Blaine. I could have been hurt, and you are laughing at me. Your fat ass eat likes a pig, so you could have severely injured me," Kurt rambled on, while Blaine still tried not to laugh.
Blaine shook his head, composing himself. "I'm sorry. Okay," Blaine took a deep breath, before he was once again calm. "I am sorry. You're okay right? My fat ass didn't hurt you?"
Kurt tried hard not to let the little smile that was threatening to form on his mouth show, but he couldn't stop it. Looking up at Blaine, a small smile on his face. "Yes, I'm fine. Your fat ass isn't all that bad." Kurt replied, waking away from Blaine and going into the living room.
"So," Kurt began, wanting to get right down to business. "We should talk now? I mean, that is why I came, and that is what we said last night," Kurt finished, watching as Blaine came to sit down next to him.
"Yeah, okay. I want to go first though, because there are some things I really want to say, and dinner last night with your dad, well that put everything into perspective for me," Blaine announced, turning his body so that it was faced toward Kurt.
"Okay, but first. Dinner, how was it?" Kurt questioned, wanting to know if anything came up, anything about them.
"It went great," Blaine answered, clearing his throat a bit. "Now I wan-"
Blaine was cut off by Kurt asking more questions about his night out with his dad. "What did you guys talk about?"
"Work and stuff. Kurt that's not important right now, okay? We're supposed to talk about everything between us, not what me and your dad talked about over dinner," Blaine retorted, sighing loudly. He didn't understand why Kurt was asking all these questions about the dinner he had with his dad. They always had dinner occasionally every few months, and Kurt never had anything to say about it then. "Now, later if you still want to know we can talk about it, okay?"
Kurt nodded, leaning back onto the couch, watching Blaine closely as he spoke.
"Okay. First off, you've been avoiding me, and I know it has to do with the kiss, but I don't -I thought we talked about it, and you weren't mad. I don't understand what happened," Blaine begged, wanting Kurt to tell him why he was so upset after they had talked about it.
Sighing, Kurt took a deep breath, before speaking. "I just," Kurt started before stopping, taking a deep breath and then continuing. "Okay, yes. I was avoiding you, because of the kiss and how it always kept happening and how it's like you keep leading me on. I just... I was mad because of how much I want, what I want, and how it can't and won't happen. It hurt okay, knowing you kissed me because you wanted to, and then have you throw it back at me. I had a lot of time to think about it that night, and I just couldn't handle it."
"I'm sorry. I'm.. Kurt I am so sorry. I never wanted to make you feel like that. I've just been so confused, and my head has been so messed up, that I didn't know what was wrong and what was right anymore. I know wanting you is wrong though, I know it, but god, Kurt. There is something in me that just makes it hard to stay away from you, and to deny you. I wanted to so much." Blaine pushed himself up straighter, looking down at his hands. ‘I didn't want to get in too deep with you, and I tried, I tried to resist you. To not want you. But it's hard and it gets harder every day I am around you, because no matter how much I thought I knew you. I didn't, not until we started hanging out did I actually get to know the real you, and what I realized in getting to know you was how perfect, and amazing you are and how much I care about you, when in reality it's too much, Kurt." Blaine stopped. He didn't know where to go from there. He knew what he wanted, but he was scared to actually try to take it. "I feel so much for you, and I don't know how to fight it anymore. I don't know if I want to." Blaine's eyes moved up, until they were boring into Kurt's own.
"Blaine?" Kurt asked, confused as to what was going on.
"Kurt, I can't. Last night your dad was hounding me about how I need to date, and he asked me if I liked someone and all I could think about was you, and how much you mean to me. All I could think was how much of an idiot I was for keeping us apart, when we should be together. Because two people that care about each other as much as we do shouldn't be apart, right?" Blaine asked, desperately, looking at Kurt like he was in pain.
Blaine moved closer to Kurt, taking Kurt's hands in his own. Before Kurt had any chance to answer Blaine was speaking again. "I think it's so wrong to want you. But then I want to kiss you, hold you and hug you, and suddenly it doesn't feel wrong. " Blaine admitted, lacing his and Kurt's fingers together.
"Blaine, when I wanted to talk to you, this was pretty much the opposite of what I was going to say. I was going to talk about how I am willing to just be friends, for real this time, and you go and ruin it all. By saying what exactly?" Kurt questioned, swallowing hard.
"Well, if that is what you came here to say, then yes I ruined it, completely. I'm glad though, because you don't want that, just as much as I didn't want that before. I know you. You are just like me, in the things that we want and what you want is what I want, and what I am finally willing to give into," Blaine confessed, moving his body much more closer to Kurt. "I want this. I want us. I don't care anymore how wrong it may seem, because I know it's right."
Kurt's eyes fluttered closed, trying to keep the tears that were threatening to spill at bay. Kurt didn't succeed, because the tears started to slowly fall from his eyes. "You think that now that you're ready I am just going to be willing to jump and be with you?"
"No, I don't, but I hope you will." Blaine suggested, his voice thick with so much emotion. "You're perfect, Kurt and I know I have been stupid, so stupid, actually. But I'm here, and my arms and my heart are open for you. Please don't push me away," Blaine plead, gripping Kurt's hand in his own.
"Goodness, Blaine. I had made up my mind about this and here you are, giving me what I want the most," Kurt swallowed hard, pushing himself closer to Blaine, before resting his forehead on Blaine's own and breathing him in. "What about everything you said? What about my dad?"
"We'll deal with it all as it comes," Blaine promised, moving his hand to touch Kurt's cheek and pull Kurt's face back so that they were eye to eye. "So what do you say? How about we take the world on, together?"
The tears on Kurt's cheeks had long dried, and now they were replaced with a bright smile. Nodding, Kurt moved his own hand to touch Blaine's cheek. "Yes, please."
Letting out a chocked sob, Blaine crashed their lips together, finally happy that he doesn't have to pull away so quickly this time.
Kurt was quick to wrap his arms around Blaine's neck, pulling him in closer, as he opened his mouth to let Blaine's tongue in.
Blaine's tongue moved around Kurt's mouth, mapping it out as he licked. He pulled away, resting their foreheads together once again. "Oh my god. This is happening," he commented, a happy feeling bubbling up in his stomach for the first time in months.
"Yeah, it's really happening. Finally." Kurt said, delightedly. He pulled away so that he could look at Blaine's beautiful face. "So what now? We're boyfriends?" He asked nervously, playing with his fingers behind Blaine's neck.
"I would really like that. If you want, of course." Blaine wanted it, more than anything. But he didn't know how Kurt would feel about jumping head first after how long Blaine had made him wait. He hoped that Kurt wanted it, just as much as he did.
"I want it." Was all Kurt said before attaching his and Blaine's mouths together once more.