Blaine walked through the dark streets alone, the hanger with his suit resting on his shoulder. He didn't know where to go. His mom was still at Burt and Carole's and he really didn't want to be around that many people who would just question him. He was certain Burt would know what had happened if he appeared in his doorstep that late. Going with his father was out of the question too. There was still some awkwardness in the air, especially when Kurt was around or there was an issue involving him. He knew his dad was trying and he really appreciated it but still…

There was only one option left. The one person he could go to when he had nowhere else to go.

When he arrived, he knocked gently, but firmly and took a few steps back while he waited for the door to open. Finally, it did and Quinn's mom stepped outside.

"Blaine? What's going on, sweetie? Did you forget something?"

As she was talking, she noticed the hanger folded neatly in Blaine's arms and understood.

"Oh, you're staying over! Come on in, then. Quinn is in her room, she's still awake." She said smiling at him.

She had never stopped him from staying over, even before he came out to her daughter. Blaine had the small suspicion that she knew, even before he did, that he was gay and therefore was not a threat to her daughter's innocence. That was something he really liked about her. This, and the fact that she didn't ask questions whenever he was in situations like this. It was as if she could sense his distress every time and just let him in without forcing an explanation out of him.

That was exactly what he needed right now.

"Thank you, Mrs. Fabray." He mumbled and gave her a small smile as he entered the house and went straight upstairs, reaching the door he'd been so familiar with for the past four years. He knocked softly before opening and peeking in. Quinn was lying down in her bed, staring at the ceiling with her iPod playing softly on the speakers in the night-stand. Her eyes were closed as she spoke.

"Mom, I told you already, I'm not hungry. I ate way too much junk food today."

"Aww, and I was just thinking about ordering some pizza," he said casually, making her bolt from her lying position and fall to the floor.

"Ow!"

Blaine threw his suit to the bed and rushed to her side, trying to hold back his laughter as he extended a helping hand to her.

"You asshole! You scared me to death! What the hell are you doing here?" she said taking his hand and rubbing her butt, wincing and glaring at him.

"You know, I think Puck's exquisite selection of words is rubbing on you." he retorted with a small smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Oh, drop it. Now, wanna tell me what's going on and why you're here?"

"Not really but I guess I need to."

Quinn frowned and as she was about to sit down on the bed, she noticed Blaine's wedding outfit and quickly turned to face her friend.

"What did he do?"

Blaine sighed. He hated that so much, people immediately assuming Kurt would do something to fuck everything up. He hated even more that he actually did. Or not. He wasn't sure. He hadn't even had time to process what had happened. He just needed to get out of there.

"I-I… He – fuck! I don't know… Maybe I overreacted," he stuttered as he took his clothes and placed them on Quinn's chair, letting them finally sit down on the bed.

Blaine knew for a fact that he had come home to find Kurt and some random guy making out in the couch, their chests bare and the pieces of clothing in the floor. He was certain, though that the pants were still on. He told Quinn what he remembered seeing.

"I'm going to kill him," she said matter-of-factly. "Yeah, that's what I'll do; I'm going to kill him. Don't worry, I'll be less malicious than Santana but I will make him suffer just a bit."

"No, you're not."

She gaped at him.

"But aren't – aren't you angry? Aren't you hurt?"

"I'm both, I think. I still haven't processed it yet. I do know that I'm happy I didn't find them fucking."

"Blaine, are you even listening to yourself right now? You find your boyfriend making out with some guy and you're worried you overreacted?And you're supposed to feel lucky he wasn't already fuck – um – f-fucking him when you got home?"

"He's not my boyfriend," he mumbled pathetically. "I don't even know if he's anything I can call mine."

Quinn's eyes softened as she took in the devastated expression on Blaine's face. She grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers, rubbing her thumb against his hand in a sign of comfort.

"Blaine, you are really – you are so amazing. You are so, so caring and sweet. You love everyone around you and you never let them down. You always try to help people and you're there for them. You're the most incredible person I've ever met. And – look at me," she grabbed his chin with her free hand, making him look straight into her eyes. "You deserve better than this."

Blaine could feel the pressure behind his eyes building as he stared into his best friend's eyes. He closed his own and sighed shakily. He really didn't want to do this. He knew that immersing in those thoughts would leave him even more heartbroken than he already was.

"But I love him," he complained, feeling like a small child who's just been told he can't keep his favorite thing.

"Sometimes we love things that aren't good for us," Quinn replied gently.

Blaine sighed and this time, he let the tears stream down his face. Quinn wiped them away delicately with her hand and placed it on his cheek. She tried to smile at him but he could tell she was also sad.

"Look, I'm just saying what I think. I love you so much, Blainey. You're more than my best friend, you're like a brother to me and all I want is to see you happy. But whatever you decide, if it's what you truly want, then I'm going to stand there with you and support you all the way."

He gave her a watery smile and pulled her into a hug. Yes, this was always the place to come whenever he felt lost. He still didn't know what he would do, but the weight on his heart lightened, ever so slightly.

They stayed like that for a while and when they pulled apart, Blaine asked her not to mention anything about what had happened between him and Kurt. He didn't want anyone to interfere or shove their opinions in his head while he figured out what he wanted to do, so they quickly thought of an excuse for his crashing at Quinn's and then went to sleep.

They had a wedding to go to.

Kurt couldn't sleep that night. He hated to admit it but sleeping on an empty bed after months of having the same warm body lying next to him was horrible. He had been shifting and rolling around for a couple of hours now, trying to find a position he was comfortable enough to sleep but he couldn't. He needed the soft set of curls lying on his chest, the smaller body pressed against his, the smell of his hair.

"Fuck this!" He groaned, lifting himself up and throwing the pillow to the wall nearest to him.

He ran a hand through his face and sighed. This was stupid, he needed to rest. Even if he wasn't really into going to a wedding, it was his brother getting married and he would not allow himself to show up with bags under his eyes from staying up regretting his actions and worry inked in his features because he didn't feel any of those things.

Or so he liked to believe.

Next morning, Kurt woke up, took a shower, picked up his things and drove to the small chapel where the wedding would take place. He was dreading it already. He knew that by the time he got there, everyone would know what he'd done and would scowl at him and annoy him endlessly with scolding for hurting Blaine and being the jerk he was.

He sighed and got out of the car, walking painfully slowly to the small door that led to the groom room, where he was certain Finn and Puck already were. Maybe even Blaine was there. Kurt was at a loss of what to do when he saw the younger boy. He really hated that feeling he had of coming clean and explaining what he'd done to Blaine but he hated even more the nagging feeling in his chest and the memory of Blaine backing away from him when he had tried to reach out to him.

He stood still for a few seconds with his hand on the knob, preparing himself for the predictable scenario he was about to face. He turned it and pushed the door open, taking a few hesitant steps inside. Puck was sitting on a chair with the first buttons of his shirt opened and the bowtie undone and lying around his neck. Blaine was standing in between Finn and the body-sized mirror, adjusting the groom's golden tie. Kurt's eyes immediately settled on Blaine, admiring how incredibly handsome he looked. His hair was slicked back like it usually was but the amount of hair used seemed to be less than on other occasions, making his hair seemed fluffier… in a way. His suit fitted him perfectly, making him look like a model and the black bowtie gave him the perfect dapper touch.

"Kurt! Fashionably late, as always," Puck said as he stood up and went to greet him.

'Okay, so Puck doesn't know what happened yet' He thought as he hugged his friend.

Finn and Blaine turned to see him and he suddenly felt nervous. He hated all of this, having this rollercoaster of emotions going through him all because of the one boy standing behind his brother. It was exhausting. He took a deep breath, bracing himself for the scene he was sure Finn would cause because he was also sure his brother was already aware of what went on the night before.

"Kurt! I was starting to freak out! It sucks you had to work late yesterday, dude, that's not fair. Blaine told me, that sucks! Poor guy, he had to stay at Quinn's."

Oh.

Okay.

So he didn't know.

Kurt's eyes darted quickly to Blaine who wasn't looking at him. He was certain Blaine would tell them what happened. People love to be the center of attention whenever something bad happened to them and they loved it even more when they had someone to blame for it. Kurt had grown used to ignoring the disapproving looks his father would throw at him. He was used to Finn's exasperated sighs when he went with him to the gay bars. He was used to it all, to everyone thinking of him as an asshole. He thought Blaine would probably do the same and have them all attack him when he arrived. He was angry after all and people could get vicious when they were hurt. Instead, he had gone and covered for him.

Blaine Anderson never ceased to amaze him.

Finn was still looking at him and he knew he had to say something so he faked a smile.

"Yeah, it sucks."

Finn patted him on the shoulder and turned to find the sheet where he had written his vows. Kurt stood there, unsure of what to do, before walking towards Blaine who had turned his back on him and was fixing his own bowtie on the mirror.

"Hey," Kurt said quietly.

"Hey," Blaine responded without looking at him.

"Can we talk?"

"Not right now," Blaine whispered. "Today is Finn's day and I'm not ruining it with – Just… not now, okay?"

"Okay."

Blaine turned to see him for the first time since he had walked in and gave him a small, forced smile before going where Finn was mumbling to himself.

"Ready, big guy?"

Puck walked towards them with his hands on his pockets and smiling at the groom. Kurt stood a couple of steps away. Finn took a deep breath and nodded. Blaine smiled.

"Then let's get you married."

The ceremony was beautiful. Everything was beautiful, actually. Blaine was truly impressed at Kurt's wedding planner skills. The church was filled with gold and white garments, in honor of Rachel's metaphor of being a star. The aisle was filled with small arrangements of peonies and viburnum with two large stone urns with similar flower arrangements flanking the beginning of the aisle.

The music began playing softly and the congregation turned around to see Finn walk to the altar, his head raised and his eyes gleaming with joy. Then, Tina and Kurt walked down as the maid of honor and the best man. Following them were Blaine and Santana and lastly, Puck and Quinn.

Blaine was surprised to find he even liked the bridesmaids' dresses, since it was usually what he hated out of the weddings. Some brides were really into being the star and Blaine was certain Rachel would be one of those and would choose horrible dresses for them. But they weren't that bad at all.

But then he saw Rachel. And well, no dress or bridesmaid in the world could have outshone her right then. She looked beautiful, her hair pulled into a bun that had some gentle curls and her bangs framing her glowing face. Her white dress fitted her perfectly, accentuating her curves and flowing beautifully. There was a gold sash at her waist, matching Finn's tie and her bouquet. Her eyes were glued to Finn as she and both of her dads walked slowly down the aisle. Since both wanted to be the one that walked her down the aisle, she had decided both should do it.

Blaine turned to see Finn who had such an awed expression and his eyes were so full of love and happiness that he had to look away. They had never looked more in love than they did then. When she reached Finn, he took her hand and nodded at her dads, who had teary eyes.

The congregation sat and the ceremony officially began. Nothing went wrong, of course. It was perfect. Blaine smiled through the entire thing, his eyes never leaving the couple in front of him. Then it was time for the vows and Finn started talking.

"Rachel, you blinded me with your light from the very first day. You are so incredible and beautiful and I wonder every day how it is that I got so lucky to have you love me. You're my rock, my lighthouse, the most special thing in my life. I can't picture my life without you in it and I will make it my mission to prove that to you every single day of my life. You really are my star, the light that guides me through the darkness and I will always, always love you."

He reached up and wiped a single tear that had fallen from her eyes, smiling at her while his own eyes filled with tears.

She gave him a watery smile and took a breath before saying her own vows.

"Finn Hudson, I never thought I'd find someone that could be as wonderful as me," she started playfully and everyone laughed. "I never thought I'd find someone who understood me entirely and would not only put up with my stubbornness and ambition, but also admire it, like it… love it. But I did. I found you and I'm so happy I did. You let me go and chase my dreams, you don't stop me, and you encourage me. You love me even when I don't really like myself very much. You are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and I'm so proud of you. I'm so glad I get to call you mine and that I'll be able to do that for the rest of my life. I love you so much and I know I'll never, ever stop. Nothing will ever have the same effect on me than being able to call you my husband. Not even a Tony."

They all laughed again and Blaine felt a lump on his throat. For the first time since the ceremony had started, he turned to look at Kurt. His eyes were also fixed on the marrying couple. His eyes weren't so distant or cold as they had been whenever they discussed this day. There was something different but Blaine couldn't name it. But Blaine's heart still ached because, even if he was young and there was still so much left for him to live and experience, he wanted that. That scene unfolding in front of him, that's what he wanted to have one day and the person he wanted to be standing in front of in a room full of people he loved, was Kurt, looking at him with the same intense, loving look Finn was giving Rachel.

But he knew he'd never have that. Not with Kurt, at least.

And yet, he didn't want to leave Kurt. He had made up his mind shortly before Kurt had gotten to the church. He knew it wasn't the best choice, but he wanted to be with him just a little bit longer. If this was the way, if he had to put up with some things he didn't like just to be with him, he would. Just a little bit longer, just until he was forced to move on and let Kurt go. Just until it was time to leave for New York.

He was so enwrapped in his thoughts, he didn't hear the rest of the speech but when he snapped out of it, Finn and Rachel were kissing and everyone else was clapping and cheering. He joined in and watched them walk to the exit and soon followed them with Santana on his arm.

At the reception, the newlyweds sat on a large table with their groomsmen and bridesmaids by their side. The sound of laughter and chattering filled the room until the classic sound of cutlery against a glass of wine made everyone quiet down.

"It's time I get this over and done with," said Kurt standing up, smiling. "Hello, I'm Kurt Hummel and I am the best man. This giant over here who just got married is my brother."

Finn laughed as he placed his arm around Rachel and shifted a little in his seat to face Kurt.

"I'm not as good with these things as I used to be but I just want to say that I'm happy for you. I'm glad you found each other and I hope neither screws up because a wedding I planned ending in divorce doesn't look good on my résumé. So here's to my brother and my best friend. May your life be filled with happiness, um, love, and lots and lots of sex."

Everyone laughed and raised their glass as Finn shook his head smiling and Rachel reached to give Kurt a light punch. He sat down and Blaine looked at him, smiling.

"Interesting speech," he commented lightly, but the tension was still there.

Kurt grabbed his hand.

"Blaine, about last night, I –"

Blaine stiffened.

"I know," he whispered.

"No, you don't. I was just – "

"You were just being you."

"Well yes, but – "

"It's okay," Blaine interrupted him. "You warned me, you never promised anything. I knew what I was getting myself into from the very beginning. So, it's okay," he said shrugging.

Kurt still felt like he had to explain Blaine why he cheated. Well, almost cheated. Blaine got there before he had a chance to truly go all the way with the guy. Fuck, he didn't even remember his name.

Blaine wasn't looking at him and Kurt couldn't find the courage to let Blaine know. He didn't want to remember the rush of cold that went through his body when he heard Karofsky's name on the news. The fear that set in and the way he had felt so tiny, so… hopeless. So he didn't tell him. Instead, he went back to the façade of the asshole he knew he wasn't anymore.

"So we're cool?" Kurt said, not even trying to apologize anymore. He was trying to get Blaine to look at him but the boy wouldn't bulge.

Blaine was quiet for a few minutes, his face resting on his hand and his stare fixed on the decorations on the table. Kurt had almost sounded sorry for a second but he knew he wasn't, not really. He really hadn't expected Kurt to come crawling back, begin for forgiveness but a little regret wasn't a lot to ask, was it? He sighed. That was the price for holding on to Kurt a little bit longer. He stretched his other hand and grabbed his glass.

"We're cool," he agreed, not looking at Kurt.

The band had finished setting everything up and one of the members took the mic to let everyone know that the newlyweds were going to dance their first dance as a married couple.

A small, blond woman stepped into the stage and took the microphone as Finn and Rachel made their way to the dance floor. She began singing. The song was "Have you ever been in love" by Celine Dion.

They began swaying slowly. They both had smiles on their faces as their eyes were glued to each other. At that dancing pace, Finn didn't look like the awkward dancer he was. He spun her around one or two times, making her laugh before pulling her back. Slowly, other couples made their way to the dance floor. Carole and Burt, Quinn's parents, even Blaine's parents stood up to dance. Puck whispered in Quinn's ear and they stood up too. Blaine watched the couples dance and smiled. Everyone looked so happy. Kurt got up and he turned to see one of his hands extended to him.

"Wanna dance?"

Blaine smiled. He knew Kurt was trying, in a way, but he really wasn't in the mood for dancing.

"Why don't you invite Tina? You said her boyfriend had to work and couldn't make it, right?"

Kurt was a bit hurt by the rejection, but didn't let it show. He nodded, without saying a word and went over to ask Tina to dance.

The rest of the evening went by smoothly. At some point, Blaine did stand up and danced but never when the music was for the couples. He had talked to his mom about her new apartment and with his dad about New York. He danced and goofed around with Quinn and Santana and had 'boy talk' with Finn and Puck. He was with Kurt for a while at the table talking or dancing in large, group numbers.

Finn and Rachel didn't leave for their honeymoon in the middle of the celebration, like everyone had expected. Rachel still loved the spotlight, after all and had decided they would stay until everyone left, because she didn't want to miss anything about her big night. The moment the party was over they would go home, grab their suitcases and hop on their plane to Hawaii.

Everyone started to leave. His mother went with Carole and Burt who would drop her at her new place. His father had been one of the first to leave, since he had some things he needed to get done from work. Quinn's parents had also left after Puck had promised to take her home himself. The only ones that remained were Kurt and Blaine, Puck and Quinn, some of Finn and Rachel's high school friends and of course, the newlyweds.

Blaine was sitting alone at one of the tables. Kurt had been talking to some guys he didn't know, probably friends from high school, and Quinn was slow dancing with Puck right next to Finn and Rachel. The band had already gone too and someone had put on an iPod that was currently playing a really corny song Blaine didn't recognize.

Suddenly, cheering came from the speakers and a soft piano tune began. He frowned trying to figure out what song it was and then Adele's voice filled the room.

Turn down the lights; turn down the bed.
Turn down these voices inside my head.

Lay down with me; tell me no lies.
Just hold me closely,
Don't patronize…

Don't patronize me.

'Oh, it's Quinn's iPod, then,' he thought, looking over at his friend. She was quite the fan of the English singer. He didn't remember hearing this song before but he was sure it was from a Live CD because of the cheering at the beginning. He smiled as the beautiful voice sang but as he made out the words of the chorus, his smile faded and turned into a frown.

Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't.
You can't make your heart feel
Something that it won't.

Here in the dark
In these final hours,
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power;
But you won't.
No, you won't.

Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't.

Blaine swallowed hard. He turned to look at Kurt who was still talking to his friends. He saw the way his eyelashes fluttered, how he threw his head backwards laughing, the way he talked with his hands. Blaine loved him, there was no denying that. He was completely in love with that man standing so far away, both literally and figuratively. He felt so much love for him that it made his heart ache.

And it ached because now he knew Kurt could never truly love him back.

I'll close my eyes cause then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me.

Morning will come,
And I'll do what's right;
Just give me till then
To give up this fight.

And I will give up this fight.

That song was telling him what his mind had wanted to say for such a long time. He had silenced it because it hurt too much to think about it but now he couldn't escape. He sat there as the voice and the words stabbed him over and over again.

Give up this fight… He needed to do that, didn't he? It was a lost battle. He couldn't make Kurt feel what he felt for him. No one could make him. He had to feel that on his own and Blaine knew he didn't. He wasn't in love with him. He liked him of course, but that was it.

I can't make you love me when you don't.

When you don't.

Blaine turned to look at Kurt one more time. He was laughing again. Blaine closed his eyes as the painful realization hit him. He had decided to hold on to Kurt just until he had to leave but now he knew he couldn't.

He couldn't do this anymore.

They left a few minutes after that damned song had ended. They said goodbye to Finn and Rachel, who stayed a bit longer since they still had time before going home to get ready for their honeymoon. Both knew they weren't getting any sleep that night but they had promised to stay there until the last second and if that meant not sleeping at all before leaving for Hawaii, then they wouldn't. They wanted to take it all in, until the cleaning team ushered them out.

The ride home was silent. Blaine didn't know how to do this. He knew he should have told Kurt everything back at the party but he couldn't do it. They got to the apartment and it suddenly didn't feel like home. Not anymore.

Kurt loosened his tie and went to get a bottle of water out of the fridge. He turned around to see Blaine still standing by the door.

"Aren't you coming in?" Kurt smiled and Blaine turned to look at him.

"I can't do this," he blurted out.

"Sure you can, you just put one foot in front of the other and – "

"No, Kurt. I can't do this."

Kurt's eyebrows shot upward. He didn't know what to say. Blaine had caught him completely off guard.

"But you said we were cool –"

"I-I know… But I-I c-can't I – I love you too much and I – "

Tears started streaming down his face and Kurt wanted nothing more than wiped them away but he didn't. He pretended he wasn't affected by them.

"And you what?"

Blaine's teary eyes found his and he struggled to stop his body from shivering.

"And I know you don't."

Kurt froze.

"I know you can't a-and I was w-willing t-to, um, be with you anyway because I figured if this – this was the only way I c-could have y-you then I-I'd take it. But I can't. I c-can't… I-It hurts too much to be the only one doing the loving here. I want it all. I want t-the wedding and the h-house a-and the kids. I want it all and I know you c-can't g-give me that and I just – I can't…" his voice broke and he sobbed, covering his face with his hands.

"And you just realized that today?"

Blaine sniffed and tried to calm himself before looking up.

"Seeing Finn and Rachel there, the love they felt, made me remember that I've always wanted that," he said, his voice was calmer now but it still cracked at some words. "And y-you don't. We want different things, Kurt. I-I want you and you want freedom. So here I am, giving it back to you."

Kurt just stood there, speechless.

"To be a couple, we both should want the same things. But we don't so there's really nowhere else we can go."

"Probably not," Kurt said emotionlessly.

A pang went through Blaine's chest at Kurt's response. He didn't do anything or said anything to contradict him.

"Then, what are we doing here?" he whispered, losing what little hope he had left.

"Damned if I know."

Both stood there, looking at each other for who knows how long. Blaine couldn't take the intense look on Kurt's eyes and the silence that filled the room so he lowered his head and turned to the door.

"Goodbye, Kurt."

Finn and Rachel were getting their things ready. They had to leave for the airport in about twenty minutes so they could get there with enough time to do the checking in. Rachel was still in their bedroom and Finn was coming down the stairs, carrying their suitcases when there was a loud knock on the door. He frowned, wondering who it could be knocking on his door in the middle of the night.

He set the bags down and looked through the peephole. He opened the door and stared at his brother in confusion.

"Kurt, what –"

"This is all your fault."

"What? What is?"

"You infected him."

Oh. He was talking about Blaine. He still didn't get it, though, but Kurt was furious.

"What did you do?"

Kurt scoffed. "Right, it's obvious whatever happened between us is my fault, right?"

"Well, I can't see Blaine being the one that fucks up."

"Oh, no, this is all because of you and Rachel and your little American dream. You've infected him and now he's gone."

Finn gaped at him. Blaine had left Kurt. He had finally had enough. Finn had always been scared Blaine would reach his limit but seeing Kurt these last few weeks he really hoped it would all turn out okay. He has truly believed Kurt wouldn't screw up but Blaine wouldn't leave his brother unless he had truly done something to hurt him.

Or Kurt had given him reasons to believe that staying with him and expecting him to change was hopeless. Yes, as painful as it was, Finn knew that was probably it.

"Thanks to you, he wants weddings and houses and a perfect little family. This is all your fault!" Kurt continued to yell at him.

Now Finn was getting angry.

"What the hell is your problem? You think he started wanting this things because of me, because of us? He's always wanted those things, Kurt and you damn well know it!"

"Before you went and asked him for help with your stupid little ring quest, he was perfectly happy!"

"Maybe he was okay with it but he wasn't perfectly happy. All he wanted was for you to say you love him, that's all and he was willing to put up with you just to be able to hear you say that someday!"

"That's not who I am, not anymore!"

"Don't we all know!"

Rachel had gone down the stairs when the yelling had started and watched the brothers argue before stepping in.

"What's going on here?"

"Stay the fuck out of this, Rachel," Kurt spat.

"Okay, this is it. Get the hell out of my house, Kurt." Finn demanded. "How dare you come into my house and insult me, insult my wife, insult my marriage? How dare you ruin this night for us? I may love you, you may be my brother but you are an asshole. You lost the one good thing in your life and it was all your doing. So don't come blaming it all on me, man up and see that you brought this on yourself! Accept that you. fucked. up."

He walked to the door and yanked it open.

"Now get the hell out."

Kurt stood there fuming but Finn didn't even flinch. Rachel had tears in her eyes and didn't know what to do.

Kurt stomped out of the house and Finn slammed the door shut.