Aug. 20, 2013, 9:46 p.m.
Burning Bridges: Chapter 3
T - Words: 2,378 - Last Updated: Aug 20, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 16/? - Created: May 06, 2013 - Updated: Aug 20, 2013 89 0 0 0 0
The room surprised me with how nice it was set up. There were pictures hung up everywhere of what seemed to be friends and family. I thought going into her room would give me some insight to if she was even in contact with her father, but it didn't. Then again, most eighteen year old girls don't have pictures of their fathers hung up in their rooms anyways.
I really don't know what my logic was behind this, but, in retrospect, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I sighed and looked onto the bed; thanks to everything good in the world, the two girls were asleep. Just because they couldn't see me didn't mean I couldn't see them, and Ireallydidn't want to walk into two girls having sex... Again.
Long story.
I decided that while I was there I could look around to see what I could learn about Blaine. I asked him the day before what his story was, but he didn't really answer. He seemed intimidated by me. I can't really blame him, though. I'm not really a people person... er, demon. I should probably dial down the whole badass-skanky slut routine, but after being on this earth for so long, you learn a few things. The thing is, if you act like a slut, people will either hate you or love you. If you act like a badass, people will either hate you or love you. If you act like a slutty-badass, people willdefinitelyhate you. At least, that was my case. But I wasn't complaining. It kept my secret... well, a secret.
I looked up at the little bulletin board above her desk. The whole thing was covered with pictures of her and Brittany, her and Blaine, her, Brittany and Blaine, the glee club, cheerios... you know, normal teenage stuff. I never really experienced that kind of stuff. See, a long time ago, back—Fuck, I don't even remember what year it was... is that bad?—when I "died" being gay wasn't exactly accepted. If they found out you were gay literally everyone hated you, stayed away from you, harassed you or basically shunned you from society. I wasn't exactly the most in the closet person either, so that didn't help. Other than one friend, my parents were the only people that I know would have accepted me if they didn't die when I was so young...
No. Shit, stop it.I told myself. I wasn't going to get upset over something that happened god knows how long ago.I'm fine. I'm okay. I just... I just need to breathe.
I closed my eyes tightly for a moment and rubbed, hard,at them before opening again. I looked back up to the pictures on her bulletin board. Were all teenagers like that? So close and warm with their friends? A few of the pictures had Blaine giving Santana or Brittany a piggy back ride; one picture had the three of them laughing and smiling at what seemed to be someone's birthday party; but most of the pictures were of Santana and Brittany. They looked so happy and in love.
One of the pictures stood out in particular. Santana was smiling the widest smile I'd ever seen; her hair was in a ponytail, but not her normal cheerio pony tail. It was a loose one that lay on her left shoulder. Brittany's hair was set in two loose braids, laying on her shoulders gently. They were outside at what seemed to be some kind of festival or something. Neither were wearing make-up, their cheerio outfits, or any sort of fancy outfit. They were sitting on a blanket on the grass, their foreheads touching, their noses gently brushing against each other and their fingers laced together. It was so casual; you could practically feel the love radiating off of the picture.
I turned around and saw them laying together in bed. Brittany had her head resting on Santana's shoulder as she slept, her girlfriend's arms securely wrapped around her. Something inside of me—my heart?—lurched.
I'd done a million deals with mortals before, and not once had I felt guilty knowing that in ten years they'dliterallybe going to hell, which was a place I knew very well. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but yet I make deals with people all the time, giving them whatever they want and knowing that in ten years everything they hold dear to them will be taken away from them.
Maybe that's why they tell us never to get personal with the people we make deals with; because we won't want them to be subjected to the life we live every day.
-0-
I hated McKinley. I'd been tomanyhigh schools and it was absolutely the worst I'd ever been to. The cheerleaders seemed to be in some sort of cult led by an insane cheerleading coach and a bunch of preppy bitches in extremely high ponytails. They had this little group of cheerleaders that seemed to run the school, including Santana and Brittany. They didn't seem to want to be there with there, though. I guess one thing is the same no matter what school you're going to, or even what year you're going to school in: It's about the friends you have, not the quality of the friends you have.
I leaned against my—other than a pack of cigarettes—empty locker. The halls were empty, except for me of course. I was skipping math. Honestly,come on,someone can only stand so much polynomial factoring in one life time. I wouldn't bother to come if it weren't for Blaine, but considering he's here...
I heard a door open up to the side of me. I wasn't really paying attention to whoever it was. It was probably just someone going to take a piss or something, anyways. I didn't realize who it was until he walked right in front of me.
Blaine.
I smiled and took a silent, but very deep, breath. "Hey, Babe," I said as he walked by. I probably should drop the name, but it was a force of habit. He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me.Fuck,he was so adorable; he looked so innocent and cute. I wanted to just hug him for forever. That's a really unusual feeling for me, too. I never really had feelings like that before... Physical feelings, yeah, of course. I guess the downside of being seventeen for fifty some years is that I've had seventeen year old boy hormones for what feels like forever.
"Hi, Kurt," he said quietly with the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. The way he said my name was beautiful too. He looked nervous thought...Shit,that was my fault. I knew I was a little—well, a lot—off coming when it came to being friendly.
"Where 'ya going?" I asked, motioning to the red and white passbook in his hand.
"Uh, the nurse."
Jesus, he's so fucking uneasy around me... Fuck me.
"You okay?" I asked. Even if I do really, really,reallylike him... If he's about to puke I don't really want to be in the same general vicinity of him.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He smiled; like, hereallysmiled, which lit up the entire school. God... he was sofuckinggorgeous. I'd seen him smile before, like I had in all those pictures hanging up in Santana's bedroom, but he was never smiling atme.Come to think of it, no one—other than Azazel at least, who only smiled to be a douche; it always reminded me of how a predator looks at his prey—had ever smiled at me before. Not since my parents died at least...
"Then why are you going to the nurse?" I asked him, trying my best to dial down the harsh tone I knew was in my voice. It was always in my voice... I couldn't help it. It was a defense mechanism of sorts, I guess.
He blushed the most adorable, sweet, blush in the world. I couldn't help but to smile myself at the sight. "I'm skipping my business class," he said through a chuckle. "I hate that class, it's fucking hell."
OH, SWEETIE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA..."Yeah, you're right. It is pretty shitty," I agreed with my smile still intact. "You know, instead of going to the nurse, you could just hang out here with me."
Blaine looked to the side where his class was. He hit his lip a little and blushed even brighter. I don't think he's ever actuallyskippedbefore. "Um... I-I'd like to..."
"But...?"
"But... What if we get caught?"
I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "Well, in my case, I don't give a shit if I'm caught, but, if you'd like we can go out to the bleachers. The teachersneverlook for skippers out there."
"Come on," I said, rolling my eyes again and taking hold of his hand.Fuck,his hand was so freaking soft.... "You're coming with me to the bleachers. I'll make sure we come back inside by the time history starts." I expected him to pull away and tell me to fuck off, but he didn't.
He laced his fingers with mine and followed me outside.
-0-
I could tell my smoking had made him sort of uncomfortable before, so I refrained from smoking now. Maybe I'd quit altogether; I only started because a lot of people tend to stay away from those who smoke. I don't want Blaine to stay away from me though, which is another weird feeling. I'd ever wanted someone to stay around as much as I wanted Blaine to stay around.
We sat at the bleachers, knowing that knowing would bother coming out to try and find us. We were both quiet, though. For once in my life I didn't know what to say.
"So," Blaine said slowly, moving back so he was leaning against the bleachers like I was. "Do you like it here?"
I chucked humorlessly. "What do you mean?Here, the bleachers? Here, McKinley? Here, Lima? Here, Ohio? Here, America—?"
Blaine nudged me in the side and laughed the most beautiful laugh I'd ever head in my life. "I don't know, you decide what you want to answer."
I laughed; for real this time. I actually laughed for real for the first time in, well... a long time. "Okay... America? I guess I like it I general. Ohio? It fucking sucks, but it's not like I can up and move," that was a lie, but he didn't have to know that, "so I'm pretty fucking screwed in that department. McKinley sucks ass, but it's not like I can just drop out." It was yet another lie; I was starting to get tired of telling them.
"And the bleachers?"
I smiled,actually smiled, and closed my eyes.Let's see, I'm here with the most gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, gorgeous—wait, I said that already, didn't I?—boy in the world, so yeah, these bleachers are pretty fucking awesome right now."These bleachers are pretty great."
"Why?" he asked with a sweet innocence that I just couldn't get enough of.
"Because..." I blushed;shit,he should be allowed to make me feel like this. "Because, you're here."
Blaine blushed that same, perfect, blush he had one before. I wanted to lean over to him and kiss him. I can't even put in to words how much I wanted my lips on his... The weird thing was, it wasn't entirely sexual. I mean, of course it was sexual to an extent. The tight pants heconstantlywears, the shirts that cling desperately to his chest and...fuck,everything about him. It was more than that though; it was a weird, feeling. It was like this butterflies flying around in my stomach, creepy crawly, always thinking about him, feeling.
"You're really sweet," Blaine said gently. He scooted a tiny bit closer to me and smiled again. I'd never get tired of seeing his smile; it could light up a whole entire room.
I laughed and shook my head. I looked down at his hand... the hand I'd been holding a few minutes ago. It was only for a few seconds but it was so, so,soperfect. He seemed to think the same thing, but that was probably just my mind playing games on me. It just seemed as he didn't want to let go of my hand as much as I didn't. His fingers sort of lingered against my own for a few moments before our fingers were no longer touching.
"What's so funny about that?" he asked obliviously. His innocence was really quite adorable; except for the fact that it's going to get him hurt one day.
I'll be damned if I let that happen.
"Have you looked at me lately, Babe?" I asked him with my brow raised. "I'm not sweet. I'm an asshole with a bad tempter."
"Why?"
Fuck.I always knew that the whole temperamental asshole routine would keep people away from me, but I never thought anyone would ask me why. How would I even answer something like that?
I'm a asshole because I'm—in reality—a demon who's currently here to make sure your best friend is brought to hell. But don't worry, I'm not really that big of a jerk, I just do this to keep people away.
Yeah, I'd like to see his reaction to that.
"I-I..." I never stutter.Fucking goddammit."I guess I'm like this because it's easier to keep people away than to lose them in the long run."
Blaine blinked a few times in thought before putting his hand on my knee gently.Shit,something so simple should feel so heavenly.
And trust me, heavenly isn't a thing I'm accustom to.
Like, at all.
"You don't have to push me away, Kurt." He smiled sweetly and... almostlovinglyas his grip on my knee tightened a bit. "You aren't going to lose me. I promise."
My heart lurched up into my throat. I honestly couldn't breathe for a few moments, but eventually I let out a breath and started toactuallybreathe. I smiled over at him and gently put my hand on top of his. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so I just kept smiling at him.
He had no idea that no matter what happened, he'd lose me. I'd lose him.
Just like I lost everyone else I loved.