Blaine looked down at the shiny object on the table, not even attempting to stop or wipe away the heavy flow of tears pouring down his face.

Everything was falling apart. No one had even noticed that he had been absent for the past three days, because he didnt see a reason to get out of bed. His grades were already going to shit, anyway.

Ever since he and Kurt had broken up, he had been spiraling. He rarely ate, and slept only when he dropped from exhaustion. It obviously wasnt healthy at all, but Blaine could care less what happens to him, at this point. He didnt belong at Mckinley, he didnt belong at Dalton. He belonged with Kurt, but that was all gone.

Home is where the heart is, they say.

"This isnt home anymore."

Kurt hated him, (which he deserves) his friends were tired of him moping around and not pulling his weight in the group, not even bothering to ask if he was ever okay or anything. His parents didnt care about him either- didnt even bother to call or check up on him while they were away, and forget coming home to spend his Christmas break with him.

His brother was spending time with his friends in LA, Blaines so called "friends" seemed to be having fun, if their jubilant Facebook Statuses was enough of a clue. Rachel was having fun apparently, and so was Kurt. Having lots of fun going on dates with this "Paul" guy. (Yes, he still snooped around Kurts Facebook) The status that said he was single got him every time.

Even though seeing Kurt happy with someone else made his heart ache and his stomach churn unhappily, he knew he deserved it. He deserved to be happy with someone who would treat him right, and wouldnt cheat on him.

What did Blaine deserve? Nothing. Nothing except all the pain and loneliness he was feeling. He looked around the dull empty living room, not feeling a shred of "Christmas spirit" even despite the bright Christmas lights from the neighbors house. He didnt feel anything, really.

He looked back down, to his fathers old gun that he never used, but kept loaded in a display case, to the small slip of paper beside it that contained an apology in his fancy scrawl.

"I dont feel like living anymore. Im so sorry."

He had thought of different methods before this; taking a full bottle of pills. But swallowing all of them down sounded really hard, and there as always the chance where he would just throw them back up and end up really ill. Jumping wouldnt work either, because he could just break a leg or something, and his fear of heights didnt help.

And then there was hanging himself. But it only reminded him of Daves attempt and Kurt a-

Kurt.

Suddenly he was sobbing even harder, his throat screaming in protest from being so sore from crying and throwing up. Blaine was so, so very tired. Instinctively he reached for his phone, staring at the picture he set for Kurts number as it rang, and rang, and rang. He got the answering machine, no surprise there. He didnt even speak, just continued to sob as Kurts bubbly recorded message played. He threw the phone down back onto the sofa, standing up and grabbing the gun as he did.

He had been scared at first, no, he was still scared; terrified, even. But it was for the best. Kurt would move on, be it with Paul or whoever, his parents would rejoice in having a single, very talented child, like it had been before he came along. The glee club could handle things without him- they didnt need his stupid drama, anyway. It all made sense. To him, at least.

He began pacing, trying to calm himself. His hands were trembling so hard; hed never held a gun before. His sobbing was hysteric now, and he could barely breathe.

He just wanted the pain to go away.

He wanted everything to go away.

Slowly, he brought the gun up to his temple, squeezing his eyes shut.

He must have been crying so hard he hadnt heard the front door open, and suddenly he was hearing Andreas panicked voice.

"Blaine, what the Hell are you doing?" Blaine eyes snapped open. Andrea was frozen by the door, staring at Blaine with wide eyes.

"A-Andy…what are you doing here?" Blaine asked in between his sniffs and sobs.

"I came to spend Christmas with you…Youre my family."Andreas breathing became slightly erratic, and he ran a hand through his hair, not sure what to do.

"B, you gotta put the gun down, okay?" Andrea said, trying to seem calm, yet that was impossible, as his baby brother was standing in their childhood homes living room with a gun to his head. She put down the festive looking present she was carrying in her hand and stepped forward slightly.

"Dont. Please." Truth be told Blaine didnt know what the hell he was doing, either.

Andrea nodded and he stilled his movements, his piercing gaze never leaving her brothers.

"Why, Blaine? Do you want to talk about it? Its about Kurt, isnt it?" Maybe talking about it wasnt the greatest idea, but Andrea hadnt read a handbook titled "What to do when youre only family is about to kill themselves." She just wanted to keep Blaine talking, keep him from thinking and maybe- no, she definitely could save his life.

Blaine looked down at his shoes.

"Im so tired of living, Andy. Without Kurt, I-Im nothing I feel nothing anymore." Andreas face crumpled with agony upon hearing this, and she resisted the urge to step forward again.

"I hate hearing you say stuff like that, Blainey." Andrea said.

"I dont see the reasons keep going, seeing as I ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me." Andrea sighed, whole body shaking. She felt hot tears beginning to prickle, but she bit her lip, determined to keep it together.

"Cmon Blaine, you have to think this through. What will dying accomplish? Nothing. It will only make things worse, Kurt would hate for you to do something like this. And so do I." Blaine shook his head stubbornly, running his other hand through his curls.

"Kurt already hates me, and the only thing Im good at is screwing things up."

"Thats not true. Youre an amazing and talented and nice kid. And your school friends, they wouldnt want you to do this-"

"They dont give a shit about me! They never have! They act like they do, when I say Im transferring, but thats only because they want me to stay for my voice." Blaine shot out, gritting his teeth and glaring at nothing.

"I can think of someone who does." Andrea said, and he reached for his phone and Blaine panicked.

"Please, dont tell Kurt!"

"Im not. Im telling my manager Im going to be staying here a bit longer than your Christmas break." That was the truth, but unbeknownst to Blaine she quickly typed out another message, to Sam Evans, Blaines closest friend and the only New Directions members phone number he knew.

"You dont have to do that, miss auditions just for me." Blaine said quietly. He was still holding the gun, but Andrea could tell he was successfully distracted from it still in his hand.

"Of course I do. I care about you more than some stupid minor commercial part." She shoved her phone back into her pocket, and prayed that Sam would be quick about things.

"Im so sorry, Blaine, I should have been here. Im your sister, Im supposed to take care of you, and be here when you need me."

"But you have a job, and friends, and I hate to be a burden and whine to you every time I have a small problem."

"Yes, you are! Youre supposed to be able to tell me everything, and Im supposed to comfort you. And this, this is not a small problem!"

Blaine let out another helpless sob.

"Everything would just be better if I were dead." Blaine mumbled, voice suddenly resigned, like he had come to the conclusion a long time ago. He probably had, Andrea realized, when he lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. He couldnt help it, then. Hot tears started to slide down his face.

"No it wouldnt, Blaine!" She yelled fiercely. "What about Kurt, huh? You think hes going to be happy to know the love of his life killed himself?!"

"He doesnt love me anymore!" Blaine yelled back, voice cracking harshly.

"You dont know that!" It was silent for a few minutes, the gun still in his right hand but forgotten.

"And what about me?" Blaine looked up, finally taking in that Andrea was sobbing herself now.

"Youre my baby brother. And even though until recently, we havent had the best relationship, but I still love you Its my duty to protect you, and I would just die knowing I couldnt do anything to keep you alive."

Blaine was silently stunned.

"Y-you cant just do that, Blaine. Take such a big action without thinking about the consequences, or the people around you." Blaine opened his mouth, about to say something when the door was unceremoniously thrown open and suddenly Sam and Kurt were rushing in, panting, their cheeks flushed from the cold weather.

"Thank God." Andrea muttered, heaving a sigh of relief.

They both froze, taking in Blaines hysteric figure and Kurts breath hitched when he saw the revolver in Blaines shaky hand.

"Kurt…Sam. What are you doing here?" Blaine asked, voice croaky and barely above a whisper. Kurt wrung his hands together, debating whether to step forward or not, eyes still trained on the object in Blaines hand.

"I was already home for Christmas, Blaine. A-and to see you." He said, trying to appear as calm as possible.

Blaines eyes suddenly shifted from his boyfriend (ex-boyfriend)to his sister, who was still frozen in the corner of the room and Blaine sniffed, looking at him with a slightly betrayed look.

"I told you not to tell Kurt."

"I didnt. I texted Sam and he told Kurt." Kurt nodded from his spot, swallowing thickly and wetting his drying lips.

Sam was still as silent as when he got there, flabbergasted and in shock at the same time. He didnt want to believe it, when Andrea had texted him urgently, saying Blaine need him and Kurt a.s.a.p. As he was about to kill himself.

As soon as he had gotten the text he showed it to Kurt, and not a few minutes later they were speeding down the road, breaking about one thousand laws without a thought other than they needed to be there yesterday.

"B-Blaine-" Kurt started, and Blaines puffy red blood-shot eyes looked to him again, filled with so much guilt and agony that Kurt broke off, feeling tears starting to run down his flushed cheeks.

"Blaine, please. Put the gun down." He finally said, putting a foot forward.

Blaines hand trembled, his grip on the handle weakening, the barrel still pointed firmly against his own temple. He let out a pained sob.

"B-but…"

Kurt took another step forward.

"There are still people who love you, Blaine! Cooper does, Andrea does, Sam does. And I do!" Blaine whimpered a bit, shaking his head.

"I dont deserve it, though! You should hate me!"

"But I dont. Maybe I should and I did try to hate you, but I just cant. I love you too much."

"I dont deserve you." Blaine repeated quietly.

"Blaine you need to stop hating yourself, look where its gotten you!" Sam said, speaking for the first time.

"Please, Blaine. Dont do it. I cant imagine living without you in my life." Kurt pleaded.

Blaine stood completely still for a few minutes, looking so lost and confused. He looked to his friend, to his sister, to his boyfriend(?) They all wore concerned and scared faces. He was still crying, but by now he couldnt pin down why. He shuddered, and with a sigh hesitantly said "Im sorry. But i cant do this anymore!" and with that he shot himself with a loud bang heard after.

"BLAINE! NOOOOOO!" Andrea screamed and ran over to Blaines dead body laying in a pool of blood. "Call an ambulance!" she said with tears down her face. "Please..."