March 31, 2013, 9:24 p.m.
Capital Pride: Chapter 4
M - Words: 4,093 - Last Updated: Mar 31, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 5/5 - Created: Aug 08, 2012 - Updated: Mar 31, 2013 438 0 0 0 0
Blaine’s hands fluttered nervously as he held the typed copy of his speech. He didn’t even need it, as he had the whole thing memorized and the teleprompters were going to be aiding him, but it was an added security, and gave him something to do with his hands. If he weren’t holding the stack of paper, he would probably be fiddling with the buttons on his jacket or loosening his solid red tie. Despite the fact that he wore a blazer and tie everyday at school, the ensemble now felt tight and constricting.
Penny strode over to where Blaine hovered by the side of the stage. “You’re on in five,” she informed him, barely sparing him a glance before her eyes returned to her Blackberry. Blaine nodded, even though she was no longer looking at him, and listened distantly to the town mayor jabber on about how excited she was to introduce him. Blaine’s thoughts wandered to Kurt. He must be in the crowd already, sitting next to Burt and Carole, and probably Finn. Would they be seated near his father? Oh, God, his father. What was going through his mind right now? Would be pleased that Blaine was finally stepping into his shoes and actively supporting his cause? Or was he just waiting there, hoping he didn’t screw up?
“Time to go!” Penny suddenly hissed in his ear, and Blaine jumped, glancing onstage. He caught the tail end of the mayor saying, “…the son of Vice Presidential Candidate and Senator from our beautiful state, Blaine Anderson!” before stepping back from the podium and looking off the stage in his direction. Waiting for him. Blaine took a deep breath, and tucked the copy of his speech into his jacket pocket. With one last straightening of his tie, he strode forward from behind the curtain and onto the stage.
As soon as he was visible, he was greeted with a loud chorus of cheers and whistling. Blaine gave a short wave and pasted on that old familiar smile as he concentrated on not tripping over his feet. While he had always been composed in the past, today he felt jittery and uncertain. It was like all his old implacable confidence had vanished.
At the podium, Blaine gave himself a chance to survey the crowd and take in the expectant faces. The usual new crews’ cameras flashed in front of him. They looked so strange now that they were directly in his line of vision instead of observed from an angle. Blaine took a moment to note the teleprompters, one angled him on either side of the podium. In the front row, his father and mother sat to the right, close enough so that his father would have easy access to the stairs on the side to take over when Blaine finished. His mother was clapping and smiling up at him encouragingly, and his father was sitting with his characteristic straight back and squared shoulders. He was gazing up at Blaine, a small smile on his face that reached his eyes. Blaine was suddenly developed a lump in his throat. There was a look in his eyes that Blaine could not even remember the last time he had seen. It was some form of pride.
Blaine cleared his throat and stared back at his father. The crowd had quieted down. His father gave him a small nod. Blaine’s eyes lingered on his father’s a moment more, before he returned the nod and faced straight ahead into the crowd.
“Good afternoon, everyone, and a thank you to Mayor Reynolds,” Blaine began. This part he knew well, but his eyes still flickered to the teleprompters, appreciating their reassuring presence. “I am honored to be speaking here in Columbus in front of our beautiful city hall. I remember taking a field trip here in elementary school, and being awed at the size and the stately architecture. It all seemed so big and important.” This little anecdote was the idea of the speech writers. They wanted something to connect and endear Blaine to the people, so he told them about the trip, which they had woven into the speech. It seemed to work; Blaine could see a mother near the front nudging her son, who looked about ten, and squeezing his shoulder. He had probably just gone on a similar field trip.
Blaine took the instructed pause here, and resumed his story. “Over the years, at school and first-hand with my father in his turns in office, I learned exactly how big and important our government really is, here in Ohio and out in Washington, D.C. How we run our country represents how we intrinsically believe the world should work. �When we elect people to office, we entrust them with the faith that they will work for us, and share in our same fundamental values.” Blaine’s eyes flickered over again to his father briefly, and continued, looking out into the sea of people.
“We all have already heard the values my father has professed. If you believe in America, in the freedom to take charge of your own life, and basic family values-“
Suddenly, in the crowd, Blaine’s eyes found Kurt. He was gazing unwaveringly at him, face open and understanding. Blaine looked into those blue, blue eyes, and was abruptly struck with the realization of the extent of Kurt’s acceptance. Kurt was here, sitting in the crowd and listening to him support a man whose views he did not believe in, all because he loved Blaine. He was supporting him even when he did not agree, because he loved Blaine unconditionally and understood his struggles and fears and flaws and loved him despite them. Blaine swallowed roughly and returned his gaze back to the crowd.
“If- if you believe in those values… then you cannot vote for my father and Governor Sanders.”
A gasp and uncertain muttering spread swiftly through the crowd, but Blaine ignored it, picking up his speech with a renewed urgency. He did not know how much time he had left before he would be cut off. Penny and the rest of the staff would not let him refute all they were working for.
“If you believe in family values, you have to know that their current stance would deny many families the right to exist. It would deny me that right in the future. Because the truth is, I’m gay.”
Blaine had to take a breath here, despite his need to hurry, and let his chest heave as he let out the long-awaited words. He felt light-headed and fought the urge to laugh with the release. He hadn’t realized the weight the secret had manifested in him physically until it was lifted. Blaine ignored the louder outbursts of shock at the words and pushed forward, eyes locking this time on the ten year-old boy with his mother’s arm still wrapped around his shoulders.
“I’m gay, and I have a boyfriend who loves me, and we would not be able to live our lives to the fullest and celebrate the same civil rights everyone else can exercise. And if you think that we are making a choice in the way we live, that we choose to live in inequality, then I suggest you take a moment to think it over, because it could be that your son is gay as we-“ Suddenly Blaine was speaking into the microphone, but his words were strangely muted, and he realized that the microphone had been disconnected. Blaine stepped back from the podium and registered absently to the side that Penny was rushing forward from the wings of the stage. His gaze wandered to the right, resting on his father, who was looking up at him with a tense jaw and unreadable expression.
Sorry, Dad, Blaine mouthed, and then turned to the right to walk offstage before Penny could forcibly drag him.
~~~
Blaine slumped backwards on the Hummel-Hudson couch, ass slid forward onto the lip of the cushion and legs spread wide. Kurt was curled next to him, holding Blaine’s limp arm in his lap and gripping his hand with both of his own. He snuck another anxious glance at Blaine’s expressionless face.
“We can turn it off, if you want,” Kurt offered again, nodding toward the television, but Blaine shook his head.
“No, I want to see it,” he said, and disregarded the helpless glance Kurt shot his father, who was sitting adjacently in the armchair. On the screen, Blaine watched as the program returned from commercial and the news announcer greeted the viewers.
“For those of you just tuning in, we are now covering the latest news in this presidential race, which has hit its latest complication as William Anderson’s son made a surprising confession today at a speech in Columbus, Ohio. Let’s take a look.”
With a cheesy transition, the screen changed to the now familiar clip of Blaine at the podium in front of city hall, nodding pleasantly at the crowd while the announcer narrated.
“Blaine Anderson, high school senior and youngest son of vice presidential nominee William Anderson, was scheduled to speak today to a crowd of 5,000 people and introduce his father, who would follow with a campaign speech at the capital of his home state. This was the first time Blaine had been assigned any campaigning on behalf of his father, which was presumably planned in light of the president’s daughters’ recent speeches in support of their own father. Blaine took the stage, and began in what seemed to be a typical campaign rally, discussing the importance of electing officials who believe in the same values as you, when his speech took a surprising turn.”
The Blaine on the screen appraised the audience, and spoke in a confident manner which, in hindsight, was in frank opposition to how he was really feeling at the time. “If you believe in America,” he said, “in the freedom to take charge of your own life, and basic family values… If- if you believe in those values… then you cannot vote for my father and Governor Sanders. If you believe in family values, you have to know that their current stance would deny many families the right to exist. It would deny me that right in the future. Because the truth is, I’m gay.”
Blaine registered again for the countless time the responding outburst of shock from the crowd and disbelieving murmurings. He wondered, as he looked at his diminutive self, how he managed to maintain the fa�ade of calm and speak entreatingly to the crowd after the confession. His passion only seemed build afterwards as he addressed the crowd earnestly. Now all he felt was a lowly nestled sense of dread in the pit of his stomach.
“After declaring his homosexuality and advising the crowd not to vote for his father’s ticket, his microphone was cut off, and a campaign staffer is visible off to the side walking forward to approach the candidate’s son.” The announcer continued, and a red circle appeared on screen where Penny had just started rushing forward to usher Blaine offstage.
It all seemed a blur after that to Blaine. He remembered brushing past Penny until he was behind the curtain where a dozen staffers were buzzing about in a frenzy.
“What were you thinking?!”Penny had hissed in his ear, and roughly dragged him by the arm far away from the stage, barking rapidly into her headset phrases like, “under my possession” and “damage control.” He was quickly shepherded to the back where the staffers were centralized, and was pushed roughly into a chair. Penny fixed him with a sharp glare that clearly expressed that he better not even think about moving, but Blaine hadn’t been planning to anyways. He sat there quietly while people rushed around him and conversed furiously, not even sparing him a glance. He could distantly hear the mayor take the stage again, claiming technical difficulties with the microphone, and introducing his dad. He did not register everything his dad said, but he gathered that it was short and that he mentioned something about how he supported people of all kinds, but wanted to stick with what the majority of Americans believed in.
Eventually, after his father had left the stage, Penny and a group of other important staffers came over to where he was sitting and spoke to him placatingly, even though he was not worked up in the slightest.
“I don’t know if you had some argument with your dad,” one woman tried soothingly, kneeling down beside him, “and I can understand you may be mad, but we are going to need you to put that aside for a moment and just tell everyone that you were just upset and that you support your father wholeheartedly. You don’t even have to deny that you’re gay.” She looked up at him, patting his knee, and Blaine wondered how they went so quickly from believing he was old enough to campaign for his father to now being treated like a misbehaving child. At his refusal the rescind his statement, Penny finally broke and heaved out a beleaguered sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Look, I get that you’re just a kid, but this is bigger than you! More people than just you are going to be affected by this!” she huffed out in exasperation.
Blaine simply looked up at her, deciding not to point out that she was less than ten years older than him. “That’s exactly why I did it,” he replied quietly, and she stared at him for a moment, mouth comically gaping, before turning away and announcing, “Okay, new plan,” to the small group around her.
It was at that moment that William Anderson swept into the area, face looking worn and tired. Blaine looked up at his entrance, and watched as he approached Penny and began conversing with her in low tones. He didn’t look up once.
Blaine sat still in his chair, waiting as the minutes ticked by and he father did not extract himself from among his personnel. When he couldn’t stand it anymore, Blaine announced to the room at large, “I’m going to see Kurt.”
There was a pause as quiet settled momentarily on the crowded area, and William finally looked up at him, settling his steady gaze upon Blaine.
“Fine,” was the brusque response. “I need to… settle this here.” He gestured vaguely to the space at large, and turned back to Penny.
Blaine sat in chair dumbly for a moment longer, and then slowly brought himself to his feet. No one stopped him as he walked away from the makeshift headquarters and towards the exit by the side street.
Kurt and his family were already waiting on the other side of the metal barriers, next to where a policeman was guarding the area. Kurt let out a small yelp when he caught sight of Blaine, and wrapped him in a crushing hug as soon as he’d cleared the barricade. Blaine let himself be enveloped, closing his eyes and inhaling Kurt’s scent, and gradually returned the embrace. It felt good to have the solid pressure around him.
“I’m so proud of you,” Kurt whispered fiercely in his ear, and that’s when Blaine allowed himself to let out just one choked sob.
Now, though, he was silent as he listened to the news anchor discuss his outburst with a hired expert on “reading people,” who interpreted facial expressions and body language. When they introduced her, they explained how she was most often called on during criminal trials.
“Now, what I’m wondering, Susan, is whether he planned this. Do you think he went into that speech knowing he was going to tell everyone not to vote for his father?”
There was a lag as the feed traveled to wherever Susan was being videoed in via satellite.
“You know, I really don’t think so. This boy has been a politician’s son all his life, and must be used to these public arenas and putting on a show face, as you can see from the beginning of the clip. But just before he tells the audience not to vote for his father, he stutters and bit and repeats himself. His expression changes when he looks out somewhere in the audience, and that’s when he changes his train of thought. I think it was a split second decision.”
Blaine finally turned his head from where it rested against the back of the couch to look at Kurt.
“That’s when I saw you,” he said to him softly.
Kurt’s mouth opened the slightest bit, and his eyes were tender. He rested one hand to the side of Blaine’s face, heedless of the fact that his father, stepmom and stepbrother were all in the same room.
“Oh, Blaine,” was all he said, stroking his thumb across his cheekbone.
Blaine’s attention was brought back to the screen as Susan the People Reader continued.
“I think what is really the clincher for me,” she said, “is right after backs away from the podium and is about to leave, he turns to where we know Senator Anderson was sitting and you can just see him mouth an apology to his father. And from the momentary downturn of the corners of his lips and eyebrows, you can tell he is genuinely sad.”
“Thank you, Susan,” the host said soberly, and Susan’s satellite disappeared as his face took over the screen again.
“Now, what does this mean for Governor Sanders and Senator Anderson’s campaign? Well, it’s certainly not good publicity for the vice presidential candidate to have an openly gay son who outright opposed his ideals in an embarrassing event for the campaign, especially when same-sex marriage is such a hot button issue in this election. We will discuss his chances in more detail in a moment, but first we have a statement from the Executive Director of PFLAG, who specifically contacted us in order to give a special message. We have Roberta Fleming here with us.” The TV split-screened once more to make room for Roberta, a kindly but fierce-looking woman who looked to be in her late-sixties.
“Hi, thank you, Tom. We at PFLAG just wanted to send a message to Blaine, if he’s out there listening, to commend his bravery in coming out, and especially in such a high-pressure setting. It can be so hard for youth to be out and proud when their parents don’t approve of who they are. But he and everyone else should know that there are people out there, maybe not in his direct circle, but there are people who will accept him and love him just by being himself.” Roberta with spoke a firm conviction.
Blaine bit his lip and blinked a few times, finally leaning his head onto Kurt’s shoulder and squeezed his hand back.
“And I’d like to extend an open invitation to Blaine to come attend Capital Pride in Washington, D.C., which is being held in two days, on Sunday. There he can meet some of the people out there who will accept him with open arms.”
Blaine’s throat was suddenly thick, and he struggled to swallow, feeling heat building in the corner of his eyes. Kurt grinned at him, grasping his arm in excitement. Kurt was so happy for him; this unconditional acceptance from a stranger supported everything he had said could be waiting for Blaine when he was able to come out of the closet. It was so overwhelming that someone he didn’t even know praised him for his bravery, amidst all of his dread about the fallout. His decision still wouldn’t be pretty for his father and the campaign, and his classmates or perfect strangers could still harass him, but here was someone in the world who thought he was courageous and was on his side even though she had never met him.
Blaine’s phone vibrated once again from where it was sitting on the armrest of the worn couch. It had been sounding off every so often since he left Columbus with the Hummel-Hudsons, and he had ignored it every time. He gave it a cursory glance to turn off the notification and felt a jolt as he recognized the name on the screen.
“Cooper?” Blaine answered in surprise, getting up from the couch. He could feel the eyes of the four Hummel-Hudsons on his back as he walked to the corner of the room to avoid disturbing them.
“Blaine! Shit, Blainey, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for a half hour! It’s all over the news, how you came out at dad’s event. I can’t believe… I mean, you just said it, in front of everyone!” Cooper’s voice was incredulous, as if he still couldn’t trust what he had seen.
Blaine studied the wood panels of the Hummel-Hudson’s floor, tracing the patterns with his foot. “Yeah,” he said roughly. He cleared his throat. “I just… I couldn’t do it anymore.”
Cooper let out a disbelieving chuckle. “Fuck, I’ve never stood up to Dad like that. My baby brother has more guts than me.”
Blaine frowned. “What do you mean? You quit college. You went to L.A. You disobeyed Dad’s entire life plan he for you,” he said, confused.
There was a rumble of static as Cooper sighed into the phone. “Yeah, but those were all done behind his back. I was halfway to L.A. before he even found out I had withdrawn from OSU. �It took months before I began speaking to them again. But you… you said that right to him. Maybe not in his face, but he was in the audience. And there is no way he can make you take back what you said after you did it like that.” Cooper’s voice changed, soft and earnest. “I know you’ve always done what he’s said, and you had to be the model son after I left, but you’ve just proven to the whole country that you’re your own person now. And I’m so proud of you.”
Blaine struggled against the surge of emotion that threatened to rise up, and compromised by snuffling. “Thanks Coop,” he said sincerely.
Cooper chuckled. “Hey, before you know it, you’ll be hitting up gay bars in the big city.” At the answering silence, he exclaimed, “Blainey, you didn’t!”
Blaine let out a genuine laugh at this, and noticed Kurt looking over the top of the couch at him fondly.
“I did,” he responded, smiling. “I actually met my boyfriend there.”
“Right!” Cooper said suddenly. “I forgot you mentioned you had a boyfriend. Tell me about him. Not some creepy old man perving on barely legal teenagers, is he?”
Maintaining eye contact with Kurt, he shook his head, forgetting that Cooper couldn’t see him. His smile was evident in his voice as he replied, “Not quite. He’s my age. His name is Kurt, and I love him.”
Kurt rested his chin on his arm draped over the back of the couch. He gestured for him to go on. Blaine let out another burst of laughter, feeling lighter now, and freer. He strode over to the couch and cupped his jaw, pressing a kiss to his lips and for once not minding Kurt’s family in the room.
“You two would get along perfectly,” he told Cooper, still stroking Kurt’s jaw with his thumb, and continued to tell his brother about the boy who had turned his life upside down.