Morning brought hangovers all around and the need to avoid all noise and brightness. Somehow Kurt had gotten up with Rachel and made pancakes while the girl made pitcher upon pitcher of coffee, and they all muttered angrily as they stuffed pancakes into their bellies in the hopes of soaking up some of the alcohol that was making them roll so uncomfortably. By the time enough coffee and water had been consumed for everyone to drive, they had all managed to pee about a dozen times and at least three people had puked.

Quinn said it was worse than morning sickness as she excused herself from the house so that she might go find her own bed and pass out for the whole day, and Blaine quickly followed after. It might have been bad practice to excuse himself before clean-up was done, but he was barely standing and he didnt really want to puke at Rachels and his house was so nice and empty and silent. It was calling to him, and it didnt have the awkward glances still-partially-kitty Kurt was shooting at him.

When Blaine got home to his blessedly empty house, he didnt do much. He dragged himself to the bathroom, took a long shower, and flopped into his bed after taking some Advil with a large glass of water. He slept most of the day away, then forced himself to work on an English essay rather than think about what exactly had happened last night and just how much his life was changing.

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The start of November was not looking good for one Blaine Anderson. He got to school on Monday only to have a slushie tossed in his face before the first warning bell even rang. At least this time he had a change of clothes and knew how to handle things without falling apart, thanks to Kurt. Kurt, who he hadnt talked to at all yet and who he felt so awkward around now…

Surely the party hadnt ruined everything, right? Right. It was just Blaine being overly dramatic as he had a tendency to do. But then… God, it had all felt so right and so good. All he wanted to do was confess the truth to Kurt. It wasnt like hed been facing all that much hell from the jocks so far, and hed been spending a lot of time with the person they so loved to hate. It wouldnt get worse just because he told one person his secret, right?

The rest of Monday was still kind of awkward, but by lunch Tuesday, Blaine felt like he and Kurt were back to normal for them. They were sitting near each other, Quinn oddly sandwiched between them for some reason, and they were laughing at something Finn had said. The quarterback had no idea why it was so funny, which only made it funnier, and Blaine felt… at home.

Glee club went well and they were ready for Sectionals, which were the next Monday over at Carmel high. Theyd be missing the day of school for the competition, which had Puck pretty pumped. Their songs were solid and their dance moves were almost perfect. By Wednesday afternoon, they were sure everything was perfect and there was no way they could fail.

Then Thursday came and everything went to hell.

Blaine got out of his car in the parking lot only to spot the herd of lettermans standing sentry by the doors. Hed been getting more and more lax with his clothing choices, and today he had his favorite red skinny jeans hugging his ass, cuffed at the bottom to show his bare ankles. His henley wasnt overly flamboyant, but it was still something that set him apart from the norm, and it suddenly seemed like a horrible idea to have slipped out of his camouflage.

"Oh, look out guys. Got another fairy coming through!" One of the jocks called as Blaine walked through them and into the school. He shook his head with a muttered curse that was just low enough that the guy wouldnt hear him, only to come face to face with… half the damn Glee club? What the hell was going on? He was just trying to get to his locker…

Blaine took a few more steps toward the locker in question, only for his breath to catch and his blood to run cold. "Dude, were trying to figure out which one of them did it. They did this to Kurts locker once and Coach Sylvester had cameras installed so they could stop it happening again. They should know who did it as soon as Kurt finishes talking to her," Finns voice was distant in the rush of blood that pulsed loud in Blaines ears.

He stared at the word that had been spray-painted in bright red on his locker. FAG. It was huge and obviously meant special for him, and it was heartbreaking. He hadnt even come out to anyone, yet there it was. The word he was mocked with so damn often. Blaine didnt know what to do.

Hed been thinking of confiding in Kurt! Considering even coming out fully! Hed thought about how he could finally find someone to love and to love him back, and now this? It wasnt fucking fair! It just wasnt fair!

The voices of the other members of New Directions faded into the distance as Blaine ran. He left his stupid locker with the stupid word behind and ran to the gym, slipping into the locker room and changing quickly into the clothes he left there, not even bothering to warm up or properly wrap his knuckles before slamming into the bag. He hit it so hard he could feel the damage he was doing to his hands, and instead of stopping he just hit harder. This was for all the people who ever called him names. Who kicked him when he was down. For all those meat-head jocks and their slushies and their hate. God, did he wish he could just let go on them instead of this bag that had no feelings. The bag that wasnt the people who hurt him. Blaine hated those jocks, and more than that, he hated himself for what he knew he would do now.

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By the time hed finished taking out his aggression on the punching bag, Blaine had missed his first class and half of his second and his fists were raw and split. He was pretty sure hed jammed one finger so far into the knuckle that it wouldnt bed right for a while, but he didnt care. The sting when he balled his fists just reminded him of the rage he was capable of, and the potential for scarred knuckles just made him feel more like a real man.

Instead of going to his second period class, Blaine sought out Mr. Schuester, finding him in the teachers lounge with a steaming mug of coffee and a distraught looking guidance counselor. "Um, Mr. Schue? Can I talk to you for a sec?" he asked, feeling small and stupid as he tried not to show the adults his bruised and bleeding knuckles.

The teacher stood and met Blaine in the hallway, concern filling his gentle gaze. Oh, how Blaine hated himself for this. "Mr. Schue, Im really sorry… but I… I have to quit Glee club. I… Quinn can get one of the Cheerios to fill in for the twelfth member for Sectionals, Im sure. My parts can go to whoever. You know there are plenty of good voices to take them. I just… Im really sorry," and before the concerned looking Mr. Schue could get a word out, Blaine was gone, turning on his heel and stalking out to his car, not ready to take on this day and so choosing to pretend it didnt happen. Hed be mad at himself tomorrow when he figured out what all hed missed and what he had to make up, but right now, all he could see was that word painted on his locker, and all he could feel was the phantom pain from his Freshman year.

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When he got to school on Friday, Blaine noticed Kurt crawling out of the dumpster and he winced. He was sure the jocks got pissed when they found out Kurt had been the one to go to Coach Sylvester and get one of their best defenders benched until further notice. Blaine was sure hed catch some flack too, but he did his best to make himself small and duck his head as he entered the school and went to his locker. Today he dressed very self-consciously. He was almost exactly like hed been on his first day at the new school. Today found him in normal jeans, no cuff at the ankle or anything like that, a loose long-sleeve tee in a dull shade of blue, and his Chuck Taylors that hed worn at Halloween. His hair had barely any product, curls hanging in his face as he found most guys didnt bother with copious amounts of gel. He had his camouflage back in full force.

His locker had been freshly painted overnight and was still a little sticky though no color came off on his fingers, and he sighed as he gathered his things for the morning and shuffled to class. Kurt spared him a small glance at the start of class, but that was it. He didnt push and Blaine didnt give him any sign of life in return. He was cutting ties with everyone and everything. It was the only way.

Class was boring without notes or smiles or anything fun and distracting. Blaine found himself absently doodling a bow tie in his margin, biting his lip and wishing he didnt feel like such a worthless ass. Hed let himself get beaten down again, and it had happened so easily this time. He was weak. He felt like utter scum.

When he walked down the halls and happened past a meat-head in a letterman jacket, there was always some muttered insult. Some cough of faggot or gay, some mention of his girly curls or comments as vulgar as to ask about how he liked to suck cock. He figured it would end once word got out that hed left the Glee club. It had to end then, right? Plus he wasnt spending time with Kurt anymore. It had to stop, didnt it?

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It didnt stop.

The New Directions did indeed take a random Cheerio to Sectionals, who Quinn and Santana had to threaten to go to the competition and thus left the group as soon as the competition was over. Now they were one person short and had to prepare for Regionals. They were looking for new members while shooting Blaine glances that broke his heart. He wanted to go back to them so badly, but he just… couldnt. He was too weak.

It was clear that he wasnt in the Glee club anymore when he was still in classes the Monday of Sectionals, but nothing really changed. That Tuesday he was greeted with his first trip to the dumpster, and he almost cried with embarrassment and frustration. He didnt even have Kurt to talk him down from his panic this time, and that hurt more than anything else. Blaine wanted to talk to the boy about all of this more than anything, but he felt like hed forced Kurt out of his life- how could he ask him to let him back in now?

Thursday found three slushies simultaneously tossed in his face, which had Blaine shivering so badly he could barely wipe the melting ice off of his body before pulling on his fresh clothes. That day, Quinn had actually found him in the girls bathroom and helped him get cleaned up, not saying anything about him leaving Glee. She seemed to understand personal battles- whether from the baby shed had last year or some other issue from her past, Blaine didnt know and didnt ask. He was simply grateful to feel like he wasnt completely alone.

Friday held digs at his sexuality every time he happened to be in earshot of any of the jocks, and he was flinching so bad by chem that Kurt silently slid up into the desk behind him and rubbed his tense shoulders. They didnt even exchange words, but the taller boy was experienced with all of this. He knew what Blaine was feeling. And he was helping, even if Blaine had pushed him aside as if he didnt matter.

That broke his heart more than any of the slurs or slushies ever could. He owed this boy so much, but here he was, denying they were even friends. And for what? It seemed obvious he wasnt going to get the jocks off his back even if he did give up everything here that made him happy.

By the next week he was close to breaking. It was nearing on Thanksgiving, which would mean a week off and a week spent completely alone based on the incredible opportunity his dad had mentioned opening up somewhere in Canada. Quebec or Toronto or something. He didnt know and he didnt care. It was just another holiday by himself, and he wouldnt even have the Glee club to potentially hang out with since hed written them all off.

He was slumping his way to his locker before lunch on Wednesday, a week and a half after the Sectionals win, when it happened. Out of nowhere about four or five meat-heads approached him and pushed him. Hard.

He heard the crash before he felt the pain of being shoved forcefully into the lockers. His back screamed at the sharp jab of combination locks, and the side of his face caught a vent in such a way that his cheek was bleeding slightly. His hip slammed into his satchel, which was tucked between his body and the lockers, and pain shot up through his side and down his leg. He crumpled to the floor and yelped as one of the guys, he was pretty sure it was the Karofsky one that always seemed to have it out for Kurt, spat at him. Literally spat at him, a wad of drool landing in his curly hair.

"What the fuck do you think youre doing, Karofsky? Whats wrong with you people? God! Leave him alone! He didnt even fucking do anything to you. At least I give you a fucking reason," Kurts voice was dark and so full of hate and disrespect that Blaine shivered from his useless slumped state on the floor. He heard something, looked up and saw Kurt struggling against the hoard of guys- it looked like hed hauled back for a punch before hed been grabbed, and now they were holding his arms, dodging his flailing legs as Karofsky got ready to punch him in the gut.

And then Puck and Finn showed up and about killed the douchebag jock before the others dropped Kurt and started toward the wonder duo. By that point, teachers had come out and were breaking things up, Finn explaining what happened while Puck made sure Kurt was okay. Blaine silently thought it was pretty cool that Kurt had gotten two brothers when hed gotten Finn in his life, then he tried to move and felt the jolt of pain spasm up his back and he just slumped back down with an obvious wince.

"Hey," the sound was small and sweet, like what youd use when dealing with a spooked animal, and Blaine couldnt help but think thats exactly what he was right now. He was a spooked deer or something, beaten and scared and so weak. Always weak. "Lean forward. Let me see how bad it is. You hit at a weird angle. Werent prepared, huh? You… um… your cheek is kinda bloody, but well clean that up in a minute."

Gentle fingers pushed Blaine forward despite the way it stung to move, and he found himself leaning over his knees, gritting his teeth as those same fingers probed at his back where his shirt had been pulled up and away from the flesh. He was aware of the fact that he was in the hallway, sitting on the floor, being examined by the guy who hed considered his best friend at this school until hed completely cut him off for his own selfish reasons. At the same time, he didnt feel the need to move at all. He could let Kurt care for him like this, with those gentle fingers, all he wanted.

"Its just bad bruising. Nothing major. Think you can get up now? We really need to clean your cheek and make sure that damage isnt too bad. Wouldnt want you scarring your pretty face." The boy smiled softly, kindly, and Blaine had to smile back. He knew he was blushing at being called pretty, but he didnt care. Nothing mattered when Kurt was there.

It seemed like there was no point in fighting it anymore anyway. Hiding away wasnt doing him any good after all. The jocks were still attacking him and calling him gay even if they didnt know it was true. He might as well be honest with himself at least, and with the one person who never judged him from his first day at this school.

They shuffled into the girls bathroom (its much cleaner for an open wound) and Blaine let out a heavy sigh, letting Kurt run a warm paper towel, dampened just enough to clean away the drying blood, over his face. "Kurt, I…" he broke off, feeling tears welling in his eyes and knowing some had managed to slip when hed crumpled to the floor out in the hallway. He didnt know how long he could hold them all in. "I have to tell you something."

The gulp he took when he tried to swallow practically echoed in the small bathroom. This was it. This was everything. Why wouldnt his stupid mouth open? Why wouldnt the words come out? Dammit, he wanted, no needed to say this! He took another deep gulp of air and steeled himself for the words that were about to fall from his lips.

"Im gay."