“Dude, is he gone?” Puck asked cowering behind the side of the office doorframe. Blaine was peeking around the front door to make sure the coast was clear. When he was sure he locked the door and turned the sign around leaning his back against the door and letting a breath escape that he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

It had been a relatively quiet Sunday night shift, Blaine having come in after finishing a particularly tense Anderberry Sunday lunch. He’d been glad of the peace and quiet after Rachel had broken her vow of silence and launched into yet another fight with Blaine at the dinner table. Unfortunately the tranquillity had not lasted when only five minutes ago a red faced man about three times the size of him had stormed into the coffee shop.

Before the man had a chance to spot Puck he had hurriedly told Blaine: “You don’t know me, I don’t work here!” before bolting into the office and locking himself in. Before the arrival of this gentleman they’d been about ready to lock up, when he’d stormed in throwing chairs out of the way and held Blaine up by his collar and bowtie demanding him to tell him where Puck was.

As it turned out only a couple of days ago Puck had been caught in this man’s house, with his wife. This would be bad enough for anyone but coupled with the fact that the week previous he’d been caught with the mans daughter, you could understand why the guy was pissed. In fact to say that the guy was pissed would be like saying that Miss Pillsbury sort of liked things clean or that Blaine occasionally wore bowties.

Luckily Quinn had returned briefly to pick up the books she’d forgotten and having seen the man had dosed him with the foam fire extinguisher before screaming at him to leave before she called the cops. He’d left spluttering as he’d chocked on the nasty foam. Quinn hadn’t stayed long after and Puck managed to avoid her inevitable lecture, that he’d no doubt catch the next time he saw her.

Puck slunk out of the office suddenly adopting his bravado persona and saying, “Yeah I could have taken him but he’s totally got a heart condition. I like his cougar town wife too much to leave her a widow.” Blaine was still trying to collect his breath as he rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know how you keep getting yourself into these messes, it’s not like you have that much going for you,” Blaine said snidely, any sense of civility had been abandoned after being near enough assaulted by Puck’s foe.

“Ooooo someone woke up on the wrong side of the queen sized bed this morning. No wonder, it’s always empty isn’t it? I’ve never even seen you hold a guys hand before, let alone let them get close enough to breach your fortress of solitude,” he said slapping Blaine’s ass. Blaine shook lividly and stormed mutinously out of the seating area and behind the bar, reaching for the mop to start cleaning up the mess the fire extinguisher had left, wiping the floor with frenzied little circles.

“Struck a nerve did I Lame Anderberry…? Oh wait, you’re still hoping that Hummel kid’s gonna come in all ‘knight in shining armour’ and rescue you from this dungeon of coffee scented doom, so you can go ‘joust’ in some dewy meadow.” Blaine stabbed the bucket with the mop sloshing water over the side before replying in a clipped voice. “I’m not interested in Kurt Puck, not all of us are perverted sex fiends like you.”

“Why you gotta hate? Look, I don’t normally like to share my trademark secrets with just anyone but I’d be willing to impart a little of my extensive wisdom on you. A.) ‘cause I like you and B.) cause’ Plus frankly you’d be a lot easier to work with if you weren’t such a tight ass, which is kind of ironic seeing as -”

“Don’t you dare even finish that sentence Puck,” Blaine broke in slapping the mop down with renewed vigour. He’d had enough of Puck for one night and was on the brink of tipping the entire bucket over his head. “Alright but you’re gonna loose him to that private school dreamboat if you don’t take some decisive action. I’ve got like a 5th sense, I know exactly when two people are gonna do the nasty, and Cinderella Hummel’s clocks gonna run out midnight this weekend at that party he’s throwing.”

Pucks words stopped Blaine cold. It wasn’t even the implication of Kurt taking it to the next level with Sebastian, although that alone filled Blaine with a cold dread like he’d been pumped right through his veins with a large purple grape slushie. It was the word action. Just yesterday Brittany had told Blaine that actions speak louder than birds and it just felt like too much of a coincidence to hear it two days in a row.

Truth be told, since his study session with Brittany last night he’d been thinking non-stop what she could possibly mean. What kind of action could he possibly take to win Kurt’s affections? Especially when he was already so painfully smitten with Sebastian? He knew he’d end up regretting this but…“So… what are these so called trademark secrets then?”

Puck looked up from collecting mugs and gave him a shrewd look before beginning. “Well there are two tricks that have never failed me so far but the first won’t help you much,” he said with a sneer. “Why? Because I’m gay?” Blaine asked, a note of accusation in his voice.

“Hey I’m no lady boy basher, loves an all powerful force. I don’t care where anybody sticks it, as long as they stick it somewhere. The first one is letting them see you topless, I haven’t failed to bang a single housewife since I started my pool cleaning business, it’s half the reason I do it! And even if I don’t drive your side of the road, even I can tell you’ve got nothing going on chest wise. Besides if Hummel’s already seen you in the shower after gym then even you know it’s not gonna work for you,” He said this with just a little too much delight, but Blaine had to admit he had a point.

Deflated he asked him with a sense of trepidation, “Ok so what’s the second trick?”

“The stone cold serenade. You’ve seen it in action in Glee. And hell if you don’t believe me then just go ahead and ask you sister,” he finished winking.

Blaine was right, he did regret asking.

…………..

Time was ticking by in the choir room, that Tuesday afternoon. They’d come to the end of the hour and everyone was itching to go, Kurt especially who was due to attend one of his super secret classes, scheduled by coach Sue Sylvester. Blaine still declined to know what the classes were for, feigning fear that Sue would find out and have him strung up by his boxers from the flag pole. She’d done as much to Jacob Ben Israel last year when he’d let it leak on his blog that the cheerio’s would be pole dancing in their nationals performance, though he hadn’t been able to prove what she’d done despite the number of witnesses. Sue really knew how to own the power of fear.

After Blaine had finished his shift he’d tossed and turned over Puck’s idea, and he was right. He’d seen first hand how serenading a person in Glee club could take you from zero to hero; Puck had managed to woo both Mercedes and (as much as it disgusted him to remember) his own sister. Although it had backfired on Lauren; but that’s just because he’d chosen the wrong song. Blaine however had known the perfect song for a long time. But did he really have the guts to get up in front of everyone to lay his heart on the line? Blaine was about to find out…

“Right guys I want you all to work on your audition’s for this years solo and I’ll see you next-” Mr Schu was cut off by Blaine who suddenly stood, skidding his chair with an unpleasant screeching noise which drew all eyes to him. He tinged to the colour of the pink bow tie, knotted carefully at his neck.

“Uh Mr Schu – I kind of had something I wanted to share now before we all left…” he said trailing off at the end. “Wow Blaine that’s a first – uh sure, let’s all give Blaine the floor,” Mr Schu said with an inquisitive but amused expression.

Kurt broke away from the screen of his phone, his eyebrows perched higher than Brett the stoner from his Spanish class. He watched as Blaine marched uncomfortably to the front of the room, avoiding Kurt’s ardent stare. In fact everyone was staring because apart from the required audition to get into Glee Club, this was Blaine’s first solo.

Artie and Sam flanked either side of Blaine in plastic chairs holding banjos. They began plucking in time with each other to the opening chords of Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me. Blaine had his face trained to the ground, begging it silently to crack open and suck him in so he wouldn’t have to do this. It remained stoically still.

But while the earth would not comply with this simple request, his body felt on the brink of cracking open itself; shaking like he was on vibrate mode. In anticipation of his cue he looked up and through the haze of his eyelashes locking eyes with Kurt he stared at him with confusion.

Blaine opened his mouth and began to sing, “Yo-…”

Out of the blue the choir door slammed open, startling the entire class and abruptly stopping the number before Blaine could even sing one single lyric. Sue stood in the doorway as a tinny noise came through the iphone Becky Jackson was holding up behind her. Even though Blaine had almost just wet himself like a puppy during a thunderstorm, he was able to note that the music playing was from the score of Mel Brooks 1974 film ‘Young Frankenstein,’ music made famous by the youtube sensation ‘Dramatic Gopher.’

“Sue what the hell do you think you’re doing? We’re right in the middle of class,” Will shouted striding up to stand abreast her.

“Well William, while I usually advocate the liberation of endangered nuisance animals, I am not content to sit back and let you poach my prized rainbow feathered Fla-homo-mingo, so I’m here to reclaim him,” Sue replied, looking to Kurt and clicking her fingers.

“No one’s forcing him to stay Sue, he and the rest of the Cheerio’s are here by their own free will,” he spoke with emphasized hand gestures.

“Oh but William that’s where you - like you so frequently are - wrong. I own those children and any free will they hadn’t already laid down for whatever auto tuned starlet they were choosing to gyrate to that week. I have in fact, since the day they bartered their souls for the promise of immortal glory that naturally comes with being a member of my cheerleading squad... And speaking of free will,” she added.

“For the love of all that is holy in this vast and unassuming universe, Will, will you free those Goldie locks on your head from that slathering of honey you obviously stole from the three bears when you broke into their home destroyed their furniture and passed out Lindsey Lohan style in their bed.”

Will was spitting with furry, flummoxed with his inability to offer a single retort. Kurt broke the tension by standing from his chair, finally saying something. “Coach Sylvester, I was going to come straight from Glee, it just ran a little long and I wanted to see Blaine perform.”

“Porcelain have a little respect. I had to have home economics dropped from the curriculum to pay for these lessons. Bare is mind that at least 80% of the students currently at this school will either be going into the food service industry, or swim across the Pacific ocean to work in a Nike sweatshop for slightly better benefits. So you should be able to see what a sacrifice has been made to accommodate these lessons for you. Now move your proud Mary ass out of this room and into my le car before I skin you right where you stand, zip myself up in your hide and perform the number myself. Becky! Music cue #5!”

Sue stormed out the room as Becky tapped a key on the phone, which began to play the theme from Titanic, Sue turned to her puzzled and said “…That’s not right, that was reserved for my clandestine affair with Ryan Seacrest. Becky we’ve got to work on your cue’s.” And with that they both left, the door still agape.

“I’m sorry guys duty calls unfortunately,” Kurt said gathering his bag. Before he left he gave Blaine’s shoulder a squeeze before he blew a kiss like royalty to the room and left.

“Well as disrupting as that was, shall we resume? Blaine, you were auditioning for a solo at sectionals, right?” Will said looking to him, as did the rest of the class. Blaine was slowly coming to his senses and it dawned on him that he couldn’t tell the truth, that he had planned to dedicate this song to Kurt and to lay his vulnerable heart down in front of him. The truth would be humiliating and would achieve nothing without the intended recipient even being there.

“O-of course, what else would this be for?” Dejected that his plan had backfired Blaine resumed his place between Artie and Sam who began again. He sang somewhat mournfully and shakily over the opening lyrics:

“You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset.
She’s going off about something that you said,
But she doesn’t get your humour like I do.”

He felt the lyrics fall flat like lead and realised that this had been a terrible idea, thank god Kurt isn’t here to see this he thought, there’s no conceivable way this plan could have worked. I’m stupid to think a boy like him could ever fall for a guy like me.

He carried on into the second verse and as if Brittany were tapping into Blaine’s plight she sprang from her chair and went to join him. He was confused as she took his thick framed glasses off and put them on her face, he was near sighted so could still make her out but everything else in his periphery vision blurred away like so much white noise. He continued to sing as he realised what she was doing; dancing out the lyrics and adopting the persona of the nerd.

He smiled broadly laughing internally at her moves as he sang:
“But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts-”
Brittany had turned her back to everyone and bent over to flash the audience her cheerio spanx covered rear, then turned around and proceeded to grab a handful of her shirt. Everyone was laughing and then by some unspoken agreement started to lay an acapella harmony over the music of the banjos.

Blaine felt oddly loose and buoyant and the lyrics were now falling effortlessly from his mouth. He could sing well, an Anderberry upbringing would do that for anyone but Blaine had a natural talent. It was a talent he was happy to hide behind his star hungry sister, content just doing back up vocals or playing guitar, piano or violin to Rachel’s Broadway hits. But right now in this moment he was twirling, jumping, belting the lyrics and as clich�d as he knew it would sound they came from the bottom of his heart.

He flung his arms open like Jack at the prow of the Titanic then cluched at his heart knees bent and crooned:
“You belong with me-eee!
Have you ever thought just maybe-ee-ee
You belong with me-ee-ee
You belong with me…”

Brittany flung her arms around Blaine and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed furiously at the action and at the thunderous applause now echoing around the room. He thought he caught sight of a blur in the doorway, when Mr Schu cut him out of his reverie.

“That was fantastic! I had no idea you had something like that in you, WOW! I think everyone would agree we’ve found this year’s soloist for sectionals! Am I right guys -what do you guys think?” Apart from Rachel and Santana everyone cheered and stamped their feet, running to envelope Blaine in a big cluster hug.

“Hold up, as much as I’d love to tick ‘watch a hobbit crap himself in front of an audience’ off my bucket list, are we sure it’s such a good idea letting Lame Anderberry humiliate himself in front of that many people? I thought I was the cruel one but…” – “Enough Santana, Blaine is going to fierce on that stage and he’s got his Glee family to back him up, right Blaine?” Mercedes cut in over the ice diva.

As oddly jubilant as Blaine felt right now the sudden realisation of actually performing solo to a sold out crowd, suddenly came crashing down on him and he honestly felt like he was about to tick off Santana’s bucket list item of right there and then. And this was only an audience of eleven.

“Err I-I don’t…” Blaine was stammering until he caught sight of Brittany staring at him with eyes full of hope, magnified behind his glasses that she was still wearing. She’d just saved him from humiliating himself in front of his only friends in the world, how could he possibly let her down now?

“Sure, bring it on. Stick me in a diaper if you have to!” And everyone laughed in harmony.

……………….

Kurt had forgotten his coat, and while Sue had very nearly made good on her threat to pretty much turn Kurt into one himself, he ran back to the classroom regardless to grab it. At least he said to himself that was the reason. But as he stood in the doorway, unbeknownst to the kids in Glee who were transfixed on Blaine’s performance, he watched as Blaine sang, twirled by Brittany with cheeks flushed and his expression exuberant.

Santana and Rachel were both visibly seething in their chairs. Rachel was harmless enough, as long as she didn’t have Blaine’s books in her hands, but Kurt made a mental note to keep an eye on Santana. When people tried to muscle in on Brittany she could unleash a very vindictive streak indeed.

Kurt continued to watch as Brittany swung Blaine around like they were doing some kind of cross fusion between jitterbugging and ballroom dancing and he smiled inwardly. He was glad to finally see Blaine coming out of his shell, in truth just glad to finally see him happy again. There’d been a cloud hovering over him the past couple weeks and for the life of Kurt he had no idea why. He felt guilty, wrapped in his own blanket of recent happiness, while his best friend was so cold and unhappy.

The song was coming to an end and Blaine was belting out the final lyrics to the song which Kurt now recognized as You Belong With Me. He chuckled, knowing Blaine’s weak spot for country music and now apparently his weakness for cute blonde girls.

Kurt was so happy to see the friendship that had blossomed between Brittany and Blaine. He couldn’t help but notice that opposites had so perfectly attracted: girl/boy, popular/shy, bright/dim, pretty/… he couldn’t finish that thought. As nerdy as Blaine dressed and styled his hair, he wasn’t unattractive in fact…

Just then Blaine’s eyes flicked up and looked at him, curious but unrecognising. Kurt could see why, he knew just how blind Blaine could be without his glasses and he found himself hiding behind the wall. He felt oddly voyeuristic and scrambled down the corridor lest Blaine found out that he’d been spying.

Kurt ran to meet the irate Sue in her Le Car, which was idling as close to the front door as humanly possible. She ranted furiously at him in the car, noting angrily that he hadn’t even gotten his coat. How could she possibly expect him to pull off their routine for the tournament if he couldn’t focus enough to even remember his coat?

Whilst she ranted she sped down the road with reckless abandonment, flattening a squirrel and nearly a pack of children who at the last second had the sense to make a run for it. Kurt however couldn’t retain a word she was saying because Blaine’s liquid gold eyes, naked without his glasses, were imprinted on his mind.