Chapter 4


Kurt grimaced when he looked at the mirror. He lightly touched his black eye wincing when he felt pain. He applied makeup to it covering it up completely. It looked like it wasn't even there. His parents would have questioned him if they saw it. 

Connor punched Kurt so hard in the face. He never thought he would stop crying till eventually he fell asleep on the bathroom floor. 

And that's were he was at...

He was sitting on his bathroom floor searching for some type of sharp object. Anything! he was desperate. There had to be a razor. Ah ha! 

He choose to give in. Give in to the stupid addiction that he couldn't truly fight.

The razor gleamed in the light, sending adrenaline through his veins. He loved the sharp edge. He loved the way it felt when it broke his skin, causing blood to spill over. But at the same time, he despised it. He hated it to no end.

It was his way of forgetting about everything.

And as he roughly shoved down the sleeve of his shirt, he sucked in a preparatory breath. His skin was already lightly marred with scars. He'd been doing this a long time, after all.

He set the blade horizontally on his porcelain skin, craving the burning pain. He needed it more than anything else. He wanted it.

It was inevitable.

~o0o~

Blaine stayed awake that night. He couldn't sleep. His boyfriend I mean his EX boyfriend just cut himself. But why? He had a boyfriend. Did he not notice? Maybe he should tell him but then he would break trust with Kurt again and he couldn't do that to him. Not again. He was so stumped. He knew what he had to do but didn't want to...He needed to confront Kurt himself.

~o0o~

Blaine knocked on the Hummel/Hudson's door. He was very nervous but he needed to do this. It wasn't about him anymore it was about Kurt. If Kurt didn't want to see him again fine but, he couldn't let this pass. This was dangerous. 

Blaine's heart constricted when he heard that familiar, adorable, squeaky, high pitched, laugh threw the door. He swore his heart grew every time he heard it and to say that it wasn't his adorable, squeaky, high pitched, laugh anymore killed him. 

Kurt unlatched the door gasping when he saw Blaine standing there covered in snow. "Blaine! Wow I didn't expect you to be here...Um it's kinda cold out there how-how about you come in?" 

Blaine could feel the tension in the room. Carole and Burt were eating breakfast. He didn't see stupid Connor So it was just him and Kurt. One on one For the first time in Two months, 10 days, 12 hours, and 10 seconds. It was quite as they fell into a awkward silence.

"Are you hungry-"

"No. No I just ate actually." 

They fell into another silence. Kurt bit his nails hoping Connor was still sleeping. He really didn't feel like getting another black eye. "I'm not trying to sound rude or anything but, what are you doing here?"

Blaine let out a long sigh before answering. "Please come grab some coffee with me. It doesn't have to be a date but I really, really want to be your friend again Kurt. I-I miss you."

Kurt sighed. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to go but, he didn't want to risk Connor waking up..."Um sure." He said looking around the room.

~o0o~

"You get the table, I'll get the drinks?" Blaine asked as Kurt and he entered the Lima Bean. Kurt nodded as he headed to there old table they always sat at. They always sat here. 

Gosh he was in the Lima bean! It's been so long...Well not really. Only two months but it seemed so long when your a caffeine freak and need coffee every day.

Blaine walked back to their table with the two drinks and two paper bags. "I got you a present." He teased handing Kurt the bag. 

Kurt chuckled. He missed Blaine too. He had to admit it. He missed his childish why of life...He missed his dark curly hair. He missed those muscular hugs he use to give. He missed those dark yet soft hazel eyes that looked like green in the sun but brown in the shade. He missed snuggling Blaine. He missed those soft kisses-.....He needed to stop before he couldn't handle it. 

"So how's life been." Blaine asked taking a bit of his cookie. 

Kurt shrugged. "It's ok I guess."

Why was he lying did he not trust him? "Good. Hey how about we take this to the court yard?" He needed privacy

~o0o~

It was a Saturday so no kids were playing instruments or eating lunch. It was just them. 

"This is where you sang to me. Remember that?" Kurt pipped up as he sat on one of the stairs.

"Yeah." A soft smile spread across Blaine's lips. "Yeah I do."

"Man this feels so long ago. I know this sounds silly but, I wish I could just rewind time you know?"

"I do." Blaine said softy. Or else they would still be together. "The wedding was fun right?"

"Oh yeah. Me and Connor had so much fun!" Kurt lied. 

"Why are you lying to me?" Blaine blurted out. 

"What?"

"Kurt I know." Blaine said pulling up his sleeve. "I know."

Kurt gasped pulling down his sleeve. Tears pooled his eyes. "I h-have to." He said, unable to explain it any other way.

"No you don't." Blaine said hugging him. "Why are you doing this?"

Kurt let out a sob. He needed to tell someone. He had to. This was getting serious. He knew he had to but his mouth disobeyed him. "I can't!"

Blaine pulled him close rocking him back and forth. "Shhhhh." He cooed. "Kurt let me help you."

"How d-did you even find out?"

"I can always tell when something wrong with you. You know that."

Kurt sniffled into his shirt hugging Blaine as close as possible. He felt so protected in his arms like nothing could hurt him. Not even Connor. 

"Hey, please tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone. Blaine soothing put a hand on his back. 

"Nobody can see how miserable I am." Kurt let out a long sigh. "I'm so unhappy and yet everyone seems to go on with there life like they don't even see it."

"Well I noticed. Can you tell me what's wrong though? I want to help you Kurt."

"I-It's Connor." Kurt stuttered nervously.

"Did you guys break up?"

"I wish." Kurt said letting out a sad laugh. "I'm never going to be happy without you Blaine! God...I...I…I thought that maybe, just maybe everything would be okay. I was in New York, my dad was healthy, I had a wonderful boyfriend and you ruined it. I am so mad at you because you broke my heart. I trusted you."  Kurt let tears flow down his face. "You broke my heart Blaine, I…try to be strong and try to tell myself that everyone goes through this. But when does it stop hurting Blaine, when!?"

"Kurt. I never wanted to hurt you…"

"I slept with Connor." Kurt blurted out.

Blaine stood there, cold washing over his body. He felt numb.

"When?" Was all Blaine managed to get out.

"In the beginning, right after we broke up. I needed someone. I slept with half of New York."

"Oh Kurt-"

"I actually felt guilty." Kurt laughed. "I felt like I had cheated on you. And…and part of me wanted to hurt you. I knew it would. But In reality I hated it, it was rushed and was nothing like how we used to…And he hasn't left me alone. He just gets so angry."

"Is he hitting you?" Blaine asked.

Kurt couldn't say anything. He nodded as his face began to crumble.

"Ok Kurt you are staying with me tonight. Do you understand me?"

"Oh ok what are you my parent? Why should I stay with you? I'm furious at you!"

"God Dammit Kurt because I love you and you love me! This isn't over!" Blaine said before there lips collided. 

It'a been way to long since they kissed. Two months, ten days, 15 hours, and 20 seconds to be exact. 

The kiss felt right. Their lips were completely intertwined as Blaine began to trace Kurt's bottom lip with his tongue, asking for entry. They kissed and felt the world disappear around them, as though they were the only two people on Earth. It was perfect. 

"This is going to stop." Blaine said holding up his chin. "It will be ok I promise."