For as long as Blaine could remember he’d always known he’d been different. However when he was younger he never knew why he just knew he wasn’t like everyone else. He wasn’t like his big brother Cooper, he wasn’t like his best friend Freddie, he wasn’t like his class bully Tommy. He didn’t know why he wasn’t like them but Blaine knew he was different.

He would often find himself wondering if maybe he was more compassionate, more loving, less loving, more stupid, stupidly clever, whether he had a disability he didn’t know about he really didn’t know but he was different.

Blaine and Copper had a love hate relationship, while they fought like any normal brothers if Blaine ever needed to talk to someone he always knew Copper would be there.

“Why do I think I’m different Coop?” A 10year old Blaine asked his older brother.

“What do you mean Squirt?”

“I don’t know all I know is that I know I’m different. I’m different from you, I’m different from Dad, and Tommy and Freddie, and everyone else I can think of. I don’t know what but I just know I’m different.  It’s like I’ve got something going through my body in my blood telling me I’m different.”

“I don’t know exactly what you’re talking about B, to me you don’t seem to be different at all. However if you believe you are different then I will take it from you, but no matter if you are different your perfect. There is nothing wrong with being different, it’s what will make you you Blainey.”

“Thanks Coop. Love you Bro.”

“Love you too now scram, I need to tidy this place up before Ella gets round.”

A 13 year old Blaine was having lunch with Jamie and a few other friend in his middle school “Oi Blainers look at these too pictures which one do you think is the most attractive?” With that Blaine was being thrust a magazine with a picture of Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears.

“I think Britney is the most attractive.” He said quickly. If he was being honest he didn’t find Britney attractive he found her pretty. He wasn’t quite sure what the different was but he knew he found her pretty not attractive. Again in this moment Blaine knew he was different, but again he didn’t know why. He thought that maybe his friends were all hitting puberty before him and that’s why they thought the women attractive instead of pretty.

“Coop can I ask you something?”

“You know you can talk to me about anything Blaine. I’m your brother it’s my job.”

“What’s the difference between finding someone pretty and finding them attractive?”

“Well being pretty is more about having looks that are pleasing, not looking dirty and stuff like that. Attractiveness is based on looks as well as personality, you can think anyone is pretty but you have to really know something before you can be properly attracted to them. Why do you ask?”

“Oh it’s just the boys were talking about who they found attractive, and I said Britney Spears, but in my head I thought she was more pretty that attractive.”

“Oh Blainer’s that’s perfectly normal you don’t know her how can she be attractive. Just you wait soon you’ll go through all of life’s lovely changes and you’ll be attracted to ever other girl you get to know. That when it starts to get fun. And oi after all this you best come to me about your girls issues.” So there it was again Blaine was different, but only because he wanted to properly attracted to someone because of their personality rather than just wanting to have sex with them because they looked nice.

Once he reached 14 however it slowly started to change, Blaine could feel his body changing, and he knew it was normal but he still felt different if not even more different. He was getting more and more confused. He remembered Cooper telling him once all this happened he would feel more and more attracted to girls rather than just seeing them as pretty but it wasn’t happening.

Here he was again he was different, very different but he didn’t know why he was different. Was it really good to be different like Copper had once told him?

“Cooper do you remember when I was younger and you told me that being different is what makes me me?” Well it that still true. Is it still good to be different?”

“Right Squirt you need to elaborate.”

“I don’t know. I just I know I’m different I still don’t know how, and every day it’s starting to feel more and more like a curse and not something that is making me me?. I just want to be normal Coop.”

“Oh Blaine you are perfectly normal don’t worry. Yes you have the Anderson genes but that just makes you amazing nothing else.”

Since hitting puberty Blaine had never been randomly aroused by anything. He knew from his sex ed classes that at his age it was something that could happen quite frequently but to him it never had. In a way he found it a blessing he’d never had the embarrassment to try and hide. At the same time he hated it just back up his theory that he was different. However one day all that changed.

He was at home with Cooper, his Mom and his Dad and they were all spending the usual family evening having family bonding time with the telly in the back ground.  Blaine looked up at the telly and that’s when it happened.

He felt the sparks going through his body, he’d never felt them before but he had a good idea that this was what arousal felt like. He went slightly lightheaded as all his blood rushed south.

“Oh Patricia turn this off that is not normal and I most certain do not want to see it on my television screen. It goes against nature. I do not want to see faggots on my television” Peter Anderson said sternly.

Suddenly Blaine’s brain caught up and he realised just what he was watching on the telly. Two men making out! He didn’t know what to do, he was slowly getting hard, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off the T.V screen. What was happening to him? He didn’t like whatever it was, he had been so desperate for this feeling for so long so that he felt normal, but it had just gone to make him feel even more different. He just proceeded to bolt it from the living room, to his bedroom slamming the door behind it before making sure it was clearly locked.

He didn’t know what had just happened but he knew he needed to find out. He booted up his laptop and tried to search for what it meant. One word he kept seeing scared him more than anything else. He followed the advice and thought about his close friend and whether he had become any more possessive or protective over any of his friends recently. He thought about Jamie and Max, he had become very protective over the both of them. Not wanting to mess things up with girls ect. Just the thought of Jamie and Max had blood rushing south. That’s when Blaine realised maybe he was even more different than even he could have imagined.

That night it happened, woke up cold and sweating. He had been having a dream about Jamie and very sexual dream, and he was that aroused that he’d actually managed to ejaculate. He thought about what Cooper had said to him 6months earlier, that you were attracted to someone because of both their looks and personality. That’s when Blaine realised that he was never going to be attracted to women, he would only ever find women pretty but he would be attracted to me.

That’s when Blaine realised just how different from his Dad, Cooper and Jamie he was. He wanted to cry. It didn’t feel good at all to be different. It felt like a curse. He couldn’t hold back the thoughts in his head of what everyone was going to think about him. His Father’s words from the night before ringing in his ears. ‘that is not normal and I most certain do not want to see it on my television screen. It goes against nature. I do not want to see faggots on my television’. He couldn’t hold bad the sobs, as it finally sunk in exactly what he was and why he was so different.

“Squirt what’s wrong?” Cooper’s voice came from outside his door.

“Go away.”

“No Blaine I’m not leaving you like this I’m coming in.” Blaine heard the door open but didn’t take his face out of the place it had found in the pillow.

“Blaine what’s wrong?”

“I said go away.”

“Blaine I am not going to go away when you are clearly upset.” Cooper said sitting down on Blaine’s bed.  “Come on I know we fight, but you know we tell each other everything. You’re my little brother Blainers I’m not leaving you like this.”

“No go away…I don’t want you…I just go.” Blaine kept having to pause as violent sobs wracked his body. It was now that Cooper was glad his brother was smaller than he was and it allowed him to pull him to a sitting position and into a hug, where Blaine proceeded to sob even more violently. “You *hic* won’t *hic* want *hic* you *hic* do *hic* that *hic* soon *hic* Coop.”

“Shhhh. Shhh Come on what’s wrong B. I’ll always be here for you to speak to.”

“I’m different Cooper.”

“So you’ve been telling me since you were 10 and I’m still here aren’t I. I always will be. I think I remember telling you, ‘There is nothing wrong with being different, it’s what will make you you Blainey.’

Blaine was still sobbing so was having trouble to speak. He didn’t want to get used to the feeling of his brother hugging him for much longer. He needed to get it out so he could get used to the feeling of being forever alone.

“But I’m really different Cooper. I’m not different in a good way. There is nothing I can do about how different I am but I know it’s not good.”

“Blainers as much as I love you I can understand you when your speaking in riddles. Come on I’m your brother I love you.”

“Well you shouldn’t.” Blaine said removing himself from Cooper’s hug.

“Oh come on Blaine as I said you are my brother nothing will stop me loving you.”

“I’M GAY COOPER!” Blaine slapped his hands over his mouth in shock as he let out the biggest sob yet he closed his eyes waiting for Cooper to get up and leave him. He hadn’t wanted that to come out especially not like that. All of a sudden he felt to large arms of his brother around him again.

“Cooper…I…I just…told you I was gay….I like boys….how you like women. You are still hugging me I wouldn’t say that’s wise I’m a FAGGOT!”

“DON’T YOU DARE BLAINE MICHAEL ANDERSON. DON’T YOU DARE EVER SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF!”

“BUT IT’S TRUE COOPER YOU KNOW HOW DAD TALKED ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE THAT. PEOPLE LIKE ME.”

“NO BLAINE I JUST SAID YOU NEVER SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF UNDERSTOOD?” Blaine nodded “Whether you like girls or boys doesn’t change what you are to me. And what you are is my little brother Blaine and nothing will stop me loving you nothing ever. I’m not going to sit here and lie; when you told me you were different I never thought it would be something like this. I also won’t lie and tell you it’s going to be easy as it won’t, it will be far from easy. I will also not lie to you and say our Dad is going to like it but I am here for you Blaine, I always will be. I will always love you.”

“I love you too Cooper.”

Blaine knew he was different and at that moment he embraced just how good being different could also be. He was gay and being different in that way was not good. But he also had a different relationship with Cooper to many siblings, and at that moment he thanked whoever was out there that his and Cooper’s relationship was different.