So I've made up my mind
I will pretend
To leave this world behind
And in the end
You'll know I've lied
To get your attention
I'm faking my own suicide

     I sigh as I look at the boy across the room from me. Blaine's such an idiot--it just makes me so mad, sometimes! What do I have to do for him to realize he likes me, too? I'm still surprised that he doesn't know how I feel; I've been told I'm pretty obvious. Stupid Blaine. He just makes me want to hit something...

     The bell rings to signal that class is over. I go to my dorm and sit on my bed, just thinking. I pick up the phone and call Mercy. "Hey, girl...I have a problem..."

     "What's up, white boy?"

     "I need to get Blaine to notice me."

     "Notice you? You guys hang out all the time; I think he knows you exist."

     I roll my eyes. "You know that's not what I mean."

     "Have you ever considered just telling him you like him? You could just ask him out."

     Shocked, I reply, "You of all people should know it's not that easy! You never tell someone that you like them--it makes you look like an idiot!"(A/N: lol Does that ring a bell? Who got that?)

     I can practically hear Mercedes rolling her eyes on the other end. "Okay, smart one. Blaine's so oblivious, though...The only way I think you'd get his attention otherwise would be if you died. Then you'd never get to be together. Oh! I've got it! Maybe you could just scream 'I love Blaine!' at the top of your lungs. While standing on a rooftop. Think he'd get the hint?"

     "Mercy, you're a genius!" He'd realize he loved me if I died. If I came back to life after that, he'd already know...I may not be able to come back to life, but I know what I can do.

     "What did I say? I was kidding about the roof thing, you know--"

     "No, not that. I gotta go."

     She quickly says, "Don't do anything stupid!"

     I answer, "I make no promises," before hanging up. This just might work.

     How do I go about this? How do I do this without actually dying? I bite my lip. I just want Blaine to feel as bad as I do every day; he's so stupid for putting me through this. When I "die", he'll feel so horrible and understand that he really loves me. I realize this plan isn't near perfect, but...I'm desperate, alright? Yes. I'm that desperate.

I'm faking my own suicide
Because I know you love me
You just haven't realized
I'm faking my own suicide
They'll hold a double funeral
Because a part of you will die
Along with me

     I take some sleeping pills from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. I set the pill bottle next to my water bottle on my nightstand. I take a deep breath. I really hope this will work... I write a letter to Blaine:

Dear Blaine,

     I know you love me; you just haven't realized. So I'm going to leave this world behind...Just...Blaine, I can't take it anymore. You're right there but you're not mine. I just love you, Blaine, and I can't stand to live another day. I'd rather die than not have you. I can't live without you. Goodbye, Blaine.

Love,

Kurt

     I write one for Blaine to give to Mercedes, too. I know he won't read it because he's too much of a gentleman to read a letter addressed to someone else. I shake my head. That moron...

Wish you thought that I was dead
So rather than me
You'd be depressed instead
And before arriving at my grave
You'd come to the conclusion
You've loved me all your days
But it's too late
Too late for you to say

Dear Mercy,

     I'm faking my own suicide. I know you'll be so mad, but I'm doing it so Blaine finally notices me. He'll realize he loves me when I "die". Do you see why I didn't promise not to do anything stupid? Because I imagine you'll be calling me stupid after this.

Love always,

Kurt

     I run over to Blaine's dorm and slip the notes under his door. I knock on the door, run to my room, and take six sleeping pills. When my vision starts to get blurry, I dizzily make my way to my bed. I take three more pills for good measure. I have a moment of fear where I wonder what if I accidentally do die...Then...nothing.

***

     I open my eyes to some doctors talking all around me. I'm in the hospital. "He's awake," one of the doctors says. Thank goodness I'm alive... This was stupid of me to even try. I could have died. For real.

     "Hey," I say, "Um...can you not tell Blaine that I'm...awake?"

     A male doctor says, "Blaine...Oh, that kid..."

     "Are you sure?" a female doctor asks, "he's been so worried; he's been checking on you every five minutes..."

     "I..." I gesture for her to come closer, "Do me a favor and look up 'Faking My Own Suicide' lyrics by Relient K..." I whisper, "Then you'll get it." She nods, looking a bit puzzled, and runs off. I look at the other three doctors and say, "Please don't tell him..."

      A male doctor hesitates, before saying, "Alright, kid. Pretend to sleep, 'cause he should be coming soon."

      "Thank you," I say before closing my eyes. I still feel really tired.

      Moments later, I hear footsteps coming into the room. "How is he?!" Blaine asks, sounding scared. I do feel a little bad about all this...Maybe I should abort the mission and just "wake up" now?

     "He's not awake, yet," the doctor from before answers.

     "Sorry, kid," another voice says.

     "I...I just can't believe he did this...and he did it because of me..." Yeah, that's right. I did it because of you. I wanted him to feel bad, but now...I just feel guilty.

     There are a few moments of silence, and the sound of Blaine walking away. "He's gone..." someone says. I open my eyes.

     "Thank you so much...I know you're not really supposed to do this, so thanks."

     "Don't mention it," one doctor says, still looking guilty.

     The lady comes back and asks, "I looked up the song...but are you sure you want to put him through all this?"

     I think for a moment. Do I want to put him through this? I don't really know... "Yes," I say. "Can you, like, fake my death or something? Um...but who's here for me other than Blaine?"

     "Just him and a girl..."

     "Mercedes?"

     "I think so. He said something about not wanting to worry anyone."

Because I'm faking my own suicide
Because I know you love me
You just haven't realized
I'm faking my own suicide
They'll hold a double funeral
Because a part of you will die
Along with me

      I think back to the letters I wrote. I admitted my love for Blaine in the letter...I wonder if I should be embarrassed...

I'll write you a letter that
You'll keep
Reminding you your love for me
Is more than six feet deep

     The loud "beep" of the machine sounds through the room. I close my eyes, keeping my breathing still as I can while my heart beats fast.

      I hear someone run in. "He...he's gone?! No..." Blaine sounds like he's been crying.

      "I'm sorry," someone says.

      "But...why???"

      I hear Mercedes say, "Blaine...there's something I should tell you..."

      "No! Kurt...I loved him! I just...I...He apparently loved me too and now he's gone! Now we'll never get together, never get married or move to New York together..."

You say aloud that you
Would've been my wife (A/N: lol pretend it said "husband"...)
Right about that time
Is when I come back to life

     I can't take this anymore. Eyes still closed, I say, "Blaine..."

And let you know
I'd let you know (whooaa)

I was faking my own suicide
Because I know you loved me
You just never realized
I was faking my own suicide

     "Did you just hear that?" Blaine asks, "Or am I hearing things now?"

     "I heard it..." Mercy answers. "Here...This is the letter Kurt gave me..." After a pause, she says, "Just read it."

     I hear the ruffle of paper and I open my eyes. I watch Blaine read my letter to Mercedes. Immediately, his eyes widen in disbelief. I sit up and start to walk over to Blaine.

I'll walk in that room and
See your eyes open so wide

  When he's done reading, he hands the paper to Mercedes and looks up at me. Tears stain his face. He smacks me across the face. "You idiot!" Then he grabs me and kisses me forcefully. I kiss back, shocked.

I've been so lost
Because you know
Because you know
You will never leave my sight (you will never leave my sight)
Until the day that I die for the first time (until I die for the first time)
And we'll laugh, yeah we'll laugh
And we will cry
So overjoyed with the love
That saved my life
Our love is so alive

     "How could you do that to me?! Those were the worst 30 minutes of my life! You're so lucky I didn't call your parents or Finn! You could've actually died!"

     "I know! I'm sorry!"

     "Never. Again. That was pure torture. Never do that to me again."

     "Don't worry. I'm never ever doing that again..." I've learned my lesson.