Nov. 18, 2012, 7:47 a.m.
What-Ifs of Klaine: Christmas: Tears
K - Words: 1,342 - Last Updated: Nov 18, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 5/? - Created: Oct 26, 2012 - Updated: Nov 18, 2012 347 0 0 0 0
"I think you're ready," Kurt said honestly.
"Well, for the record," Blaine answered, "you're much better than that girl's gonna be." Smiling, he got up to leave. As he walked through the door, a brown-haired man walked in. They exchanged "hey"s even though Blaine had no idea who it was.
As he started walking out, he caught tidbits of their conversation. “Mr. Schue! . . . doing here? . . .” Oh, that made sense. Mr. Schue was Kurt’s old glee club teacher. Maybe he’s here to get the Warblers’ set list from Kurt, Blaine thought jokingly. He knew Kurt would never cheat; from the way Kurt talks about him, neither would Mr. Schuester.
"Someone special?"
What he heard next, however, Blaine was not prepared for. “. . . love with him and he’s actually gay . . .”
The boy stopped dead in his tracks. Wait, what? Blaine heard that last part loud and clear—he just couldn’t believe it. Pacing, Blaine wondered what to do. Should I tell Kurt I heard him?…Or maybe I should keep it to myself...? I’d be embarrassed about eavesdropping, but, then again, I just overheard. Telling Kurt would probably make him—both of us—feel awkward. I don’t want to lead Kurt on, though...
“Excusé moi,” an irritated and slightly amused voice said behind Blaine. Pausing in his pacing, he turned around. With a raised eyebrow, Kurt asked, “Just what are you doing?”
“Um, Kurt...I wasn’t eavesdropping, I promise, but I heard something I wasn’t supposed to hear...” Blaine said, panicking.
Sounding annoyed, Kurt started, “What are you going on abou—” The older boy suddenly broke off; a look of understanding crossed his face, and he blushed a bit as he realized what Blaine had heard.
“Kurt, I . . .” Blaine struggled, “I . . . uh, I’m sorry, but I have to tell you . . . I love you as a friend, and only a friend.” It was true; he loved Kurt, but in a best friend kind of way. But he never asked you! Blaine thought to himself harshly.
After a few moments, Kurt responded, “I never expected you to feel any different, Blaine.” However, Kurt’s hurt facial expression betrayed his words. The way Kurt looked like he was about to cry forced Blaine to have to look away, knowing he caused that.
“I’m so very sorry, Kurt,” Blaine said again. For what? he wondered. It was true—he was sorry, but he didn’t know what for.
Kurt seemed to have similar thoughts, for, upon hearing that sentence, confusion showed on his face. The brunette, however, kept silent; he knew Blaine was an over-apologizer. The two boys stood for a while, wondering what else to say, when suddenly a voice was heard behind them. “What’s up, guys? Wanna hang out?” It was David; it was so very typical of him to show up at a moment like this.
Kurt didn’t acknowledge the new arrival, while Blaine barely registered the footsteps making their way toward the couple. “Why, Blaine?! I just don’t understand!” Kurt suddenly shouted, causing the other two to jump slightly and Blaine to finally meet Kurt’s eyes again.
“I’m not quite sure what you mean…” Blaine calmly said, confused. What does he mean “why?”? “Why don’t you love me?” doesn’t seem like a very...Kurt thing to say and just doesn’t make sense to ask in the first place. It would be the same if I were to ask Kurt why he felt that way about me.
“Um, guys?” David questioned, but neither boy heard.
“Why do you do this to me? Why do you insist on confusing me? You’re sending me mixed messages all the time!” the boy answered, getting louder and more upset with each sentence. David looked around, wondering what to do, nervous that Kurt would get so loud people would hear and come out to see what was happening.
Frightened, Blaine almost covered his ears. Kurt was upset and angry; he didn’t want anyone to be angry, especially with him. He especially didn’t want Kurt to be angry with him. Blaine answered in a significantly quieter voice. Trying to calm his racing heart, he replied, “What do you mean? I never meant to confuse you, I promise. That’s why when I heard what you said, I immediately told you; I didn’t want to lead you on.” Blaine hoped he sounded calm.
“Guys,” David said again, louder, getting impatient.
“What?!” Kurt and Blaine both asked, exasperated.
“You’re getting kinda loud…you should probably continue your conversation in one of the rooms before people start trying to figure out what’s going on...”
Blaine blinked. Oh, yeah, we’re still in the hall… “Uh, oh, right. That’s a good idea…Thanks…” he said awkwardly.
“No problem…” Once they were in the room they’d just come from, Blaine started again. “So, as I was saying, what mixed messages?” Kurt looked at him disbelievingly.
“Did you or did you not just flirt with me for the entirety of ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’?”
“What? I—oh…” Blaine realized how that may have come across; he had just invited Kurt, out of the blue, to sing a duet with him—a flirty duet, and told Kurt he was better at singing it than the girl would ever be…
“Yeah, oh,” the taller boy mocked. “And you just…you hold my hand all the time, and…”
At that point Blaine stopped listening, even though he knew he should be. Yeah, I guess I do, don’t I?...
“And I don’t know if you realize this, Blaine, but—” Kurt stopped. “Blaine? Blaine, are you even listening to me?”
“Um, I-I’m so, so SORRY, Kurt!” Blaine said, starting to cry. Kurt’s eyes widened; why was Blaine crying? Sure, this wasn’t the happiest situation to be in, but it wasn’t that bad…just awkward.
Blaine tried to speak again, saying, “I can’t believe I really . . . I . . . I just . . .” but he couldn’t continue, his only thought being Stupid, stupid, stupid!
How could you do that to him, for all this time? How could you be so oblivious? You idiot! You stupid—
“BLAINE!” he heard. Kurt was holding onto his shoulders, shaking him. Concern was showing plainly on his face, as well as bewilderment. “Blaine, honey,” he paused, realizing his slip-up, but quickly decided now wasn’t the time. “What’s wrong?” Kurt led the other boy to the couch, sitting next to him. “You shouldn’t be this upset…” he said, partly thinking out loud, “You’re more upset than I am about all this…”
“How could I be so stupid?” Blaine asked, not realizing he said it out loud.
Kurt, unsure if he should be serious or try to make Blaine laugh, carefully said, “As stupid as you may have been, Blaine,” glancing at the boy sitting next to him, “I don’t understand why you’re crying…” he finished, hoping that last part came across confused and worried as opposed to rude and demanding; Kurt didn’t want to upset Blaine more.
Blaine, not picking up on his joke (or anything for that matter), continued to sob. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated, over and over, hugging his knees, gaze unfocused.
Kurt wondered what Blaine was crying about, but managed to say, “It’s okay, Blaine.” When Blaine showed no sign of believing him, Kurt tried, “I forgive you,” hoping it would elicit a different response. As much as he felt Blaine really didn't need to apologize, it was probably the only way to get through to him; Blaine always blamed himself. Kurt wanted to say more, to ask Blaine if he thought he might feel the same way, but the situation had just changed dramatically and…well, the original cause and source of the argument weren’t important anymore.
“Really?” Blaine asked, looking vulnerable. He wondered why on Earth Kurt would forgive him. It was just so…unlikely to find someone who would still talk to him after this…wait.
“Really,” Kurt answered solemnly.
Nervous, Blaine asked, “Are we still friends?”
Confused, Kurt answered, “Of course.” He opened his arms, hoping Blaine would accept his hug. When Blaine did, they both felt relieved. Everything was okay. Everything’s okay… Blaine thought ...For now...