I get home and immediately lie on my bed. I stare at the wall in front of me. I remember I still didn't eat today, but I'm just not hungry. Honestly, I feel like I'm going to throw up. But I never do throw up. I just feel that way.

     It's 10:34PM, my alarm clock tells me. I sigh, thinking about everything. Here are the facts: I was lonely this whole week--my parents are never home, Kurt's in New York, and no one in glee club ever really talks to me, anyway. I was trying to keep up on our calls, but Kurt kept getting busier and busier. He hung up on me on our last phone call before we said "I love you"...Maybe he didn't say it back because he doesn't love me anymore...It doesn't matter now, though. I was feeling, quite honestly, depressed without Kurt here; I texted Eli because I was bored. He texted back some things that I would've been upset if those things were texted from Chandler to Kurt...I thought he was sorta joking, okay? I mean, who says, "Hey, sexy, wanna come over? ;)" and actually means it? I thought, well mostly thought it was innocent. I went to Eli's house immediately after school because I needed to get out more. When I was there, I decided I didn't want to be there anymore. I should've left--rude or not. Eli certainly wasn't a proper gentleman. Eli kissed me. I didn't fight him off until a second later. But I did fight him off. I cried. I went to New York to tell Kurt right away. Kurt...wait...are we broken up?... I'm assuming...

     Now: I'm still lonely; I'm still depressed. I regret everything that happened yesterday. I no longer have a boyfriend (again, still confused on that part). I miss him so much. I hate myself for what I did. I hate myself. I love Kurt. Kurt doesn't trust me. I'm not sure I trust myself. And school's going to be hard on Monday...

     This is going to bother me--not knowing where we stand. I take my phone out of my pocket (I'm still wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday). I dial Kurt's number. I get to the third ring when I realize why would he pick up?

      "This is Kurt Hummel. I'm busy right now; leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible." No, you won't.

      Sighing, I hang up and put my phone on my nightstand. I'm too lazy to change into pajamas.

***

      I walk into school on Monday. I did finally change clothes...yesterday...but I didn't even bother to do my hair. I don't even put on a fake smile; I just go to my locker and take out my books for my first and second classes.

     "Blaine?" Tina asks.

     "Did you find out?"

     "What--oh. Rachel called me."

     I nod. Figures. Ever since Tina helped Rachel re-audition for NYADA, the two have been pretty close.

     "Anyway, what's up with your hair?"

     "I didn't do my hair today...I really don't care..."

     Tina looks confused. "Since when do you not care about your hair? And your clothes look like they've been slept in!"

     I shrug. "It's pointless. Nothing has a point anymore."

     "Blaine..." she tries, but I just walk up the stairs. I know she won't follow because there's only ten minutes left before school starts and her first class is downstairs.

***

      I walk into the cafeteria for lunch. I look at the food and turn away. I can't eat. I can't.

      I walk to the table where the glee club is sitting and sit on the end next to Sam, across from Marley. No one says anything, and I sigh in relief.

      "Dude, seriously, what's up with you today?" Sam asks me. I guess I spoke too soon... So much for that.

      "My hair, you mean?"

      Marley, looking thoughtful, says, "You know...you've been seeming really down lately..."

      "Yeah, and your hair," Sam answers.

      "There's no point in anything anymore." Everyone stares at me. "What? There's no point without Kurt..." I look down. Stop thinking about him.

      "What do you mean?" Artie asks.

      "He's just in New York; you'll see him soon," Marley says. I wonder how she figured out he's in New York...gossip, no doubt.

      Tina looks at me, asking, "Should I tell them or do you want to?"

      I nod slightly in response.

      "Okay...Kurt broke up with him on Friday, guys."

      "What?" Wade asks.

      Artie asks, "Why?"

      I bite my lip and look down. I close my eyes, knowing what's coming next.

      Tina tells them, "Because Blaine cheated on him."

      There's a collective gasp of shock and it's almost laughable. Then the insults and questions blur into a jumbled cacophony of sounds.

      "BE QUIET!" I yell, unable to take it. I open my eyes and look up at everyone. "I went to my friend's house because I needed to get out more, and he invited me over. So I went inside and he kissed me. He kissed me. And then I pushed him away and drove 10 hours to New York to tell Kurt."

      I can tell some of them don't believe me. Marley asks, "Why did he break up with you, then?" No scrutiny, only curiosity.

      "I didn't get a chance to explain...I said 'I was with someone', and Kurt ran away in tears. I didn't know what to do...I keep calling him and he won't answer so I don't even know if we're officially broken up or not..."

       I look at everyone and see stares of disbelief. I sigh and walk to an empty table. I can still feel everyone's eyes on me, so I know I can't cry now. I can't cry every time something bad happens to me. I just sit here and stare at the table, studying the dots that make up the tabletop, and, worst of all, thinking about everything.

       I keep alternating between being mad at Eli, being mad at Kurt, and being mad at myself. I just want Kurt to listen to me explain...I love him and I need to know if he still loves me. Then again, he probably doesn't. I've failed him. I'm a disappointment.

     Marley comes to sit next to me, but I don't look at her. "Blaine...I believe you."

     "You do?" I ask incredulously.

     "I'm so sorry this happened, but, Blaine...saying 'I was with someone' is really misleading."

     It takes me a moment to realize what she's saying. "Oh. Kurt thinks I...did that with Eli." I make a disgusted face. "Never. But now what?"

     "Talk to him about it, and tell him the truth. Not what you think about yourself, not how you think you should be treated. Tell him the truth. You were kissed against your will, Blaine."

      "I kissed back for a second, though," I admit.

      The girl doesn't even bat an eyelash. "Why?"

      "...because it reminded me of Kurt..."

      "See? You didn't know that was going to happen. Now, Blaine, you have to talk to Kurt."

      "He won't answer my calls or texts."

      "Then text him the whole story, or leave a message on his phone."

      I just sit here, wondering if he'll believe me. He won't, I decide.

      "Okay, Marley," I lie. I look at her, and she smiles at me softly. "And thank you."

      She shrugs. "Even if you had cheated on him, everyone else was against you, so I decided to be with you. You looked like you needed a friend. I wanted to be that person who at least tries to understand you. No one deserves to be alone. I just want you to be happy, Blaine."

      We hug, and after we pull away, my stomach growls, and Marley looks at the table, where my tray would be. "Blaine," she says carefully, "When was the last time you ate?"

      "Friday..." I say reluctantly.

      Her eyes grow wide. "No. No no no! You will not do this to yourself over Kurt. You will not."

      "What are you talking about?"

      Marley doesn't answer, and she obviously has her own problems to deal with. "Just, eat something, Blaine. Please." Before I can protest, she gets an apple and half a thermos of soup out of her lunch bag. "Here. Eat." Marley shoves the apple into my hand and puts the soup on the table.

      I look at her warily before taking a tiny bite of apple, and I feel like I'm going to be sick...but she's watching my every move. I take a bigger bite, and another, until nothing's left but the core. Marley nods toward the thermos and I sigh, turning toward the table and eating the chicken noodle soup under her watchful gaze.

      "Thank you," she says, looking relieved and wary at the same time. Marley's watching me, as if she's worried I'll run off.

      I smile weakly at her before giving her the thermos. "Don't want to steal this."

      Marley takes it from my grasp before giving me another hug.

      "Uh, Marley...a little huggy today, are we?" I say, laughing a little.

      "Sorry," she says, but she doesn't let go for another few seconds.

      The brown-haired girl holds onto my arms, swinging them a little before leaning forward and giving me a kiss on the forehead. "You'll be okay, Blaine."

      I smile back, on the brink of tears, looking into her eyes--for what, I'm not sure. Just something. Something that my messed-up mind must have found. "Thank you, Marley."

      "You're welcome," she says. The bell rings and we stand up. "Remember to call Kurt!" Marley shouts.

      "I will!" I lie, knowing it would be a waste of time.

      "I think I'm gonna be sick..." I mumble under my breath, running to the nearest bathroom.