The next day held mixed emotions: Blaine felt relieved, because he saw a little glimpse of Kurt’s part; on the other hand he felt scared and sad, because really, it wasn’t a nice past Kurt had. He didn’t know how to approach the subject in front of the others, as he didn’t know if anybody, besides him, knew about it at all.
He was sitting at the cafeteria during the lunch break, staring blankly at the dish he chose. He wasn’t hungry, but he didn’t want anyone suspect anything.
“So you know it,” a high pitched voice said, and Blaine jumped a little on his seat. He looked up, and faced a woman about his height, with beautiful black hair and brown eyes. She smiled at him and sat down.
“Don’t worry, it’s okay,” she said, and grabbed Blaine’s hand. “How much do you know?”
“Excuse me?” Blaine asked, looking confused.
“About Kurt,” she answered, he voice sounding a little annoyed. “People usually don’t want to attract attention when they find things out, but they end up attracting as much attention as possible. So spit it out, before I make you.” She seemed to be more and more annoyed.
“Er… He was probably raped?” Blaine said, but it sounded more like a question. The woman sighed, annoyance clear in her movements.
“What a genius you are,” she said, reaching under Blaine’s arm, pulling him up and guiding him outside. There, they walked to an empty part of the little park surrounding the building, and sat down somewhere, far away from the watching eyes and listening ears.
“So. Kurt serenaded you. What a cute little boy, hm?” She took out a nail file, and started filing her nails. “Bet you wanna know his past.”
“Well, first of all, I’d appreciate if you could cut out this language,” Blaine said, now feeling annoyed. “Second of all, yes, I do want to know, but I want to know the truth, not some stupid gossip.”
“Back off, hobbit,” she snapped back, looking up. “By the way, my name is Santana. And I have real facts here.”
“Don’t call me hobbit.”
“So! Yes, he got raped, on numerous occasions, but that’s not the biggest thing that happened to him. Sadly I don’t know why he was hospitalized, but I’m working on it. The fact I know is that he was supposed to be lobotomized, two months after he got in.”
Time stopped for Blaine. He looked up, right into Santana’s eyes, disbelief shining in his.
“You’re joking,” he mumbled. “You must be. Right?”
“Nope, hobbit, no joke here. Two months after he became a patient here – I was here so I know exactly -, a juridical warrant arrived, saying that Kurt Hummel needs to undergo a lobotomy. Nobody knew the judge who wrote that warrant; nobody knew why, to be honest. Ms. Churchwille was at a rage, and she did not let them do it, although one time, they were really close, nearly pushing that damn piece of iron through his eye. After two months of fighting over it, they dropped the case. Nobody knew how much it affected Kurt, because really, he doesn’t say a damn word to anyone.”
“He is…. Supposed to be a lobotomized vegetable right now?” Blaine asked. “He’s supposed to be a doll? Without any memories, and-“
“Yep, but he’s not,” Santana cut in. “Honestly, I don’t know what’s in his head, but it must be something really important that they wanted to erase completely. Not that anybody would find out about it, because that boy keeps his mouth shut. Bet because he’s scared to talk.”
A bit more of Kurt’s past was revealed, and suddenly, Blaine felt terrified of what he’d find if he really sank into the deepness of it. He felt slightly sick, so he excused himself and nearly ran off. Santana shot a questioning look after him, but didn’t really care about where he was going.
Blaine stormed into a toilet, and after he threw his lunch up, he wiped his mouth and looked up, into the mirror. The sight of his face scared him a little: huge, black bags were bulging under his eyes, which looked deadened out. His face was really pale, almost sickeningly pale. Blaine cleaned his mouth out, and decided to take a walk.
He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if all the fighting for finding out more was worth it. He didn’t know Kurt at all, just that he was gorgeous, he had a killing singing voice and that he was hospitalized permanently, as it seemed. Blaine felt a certain attraction, but he didn’t know what exactly attracted him. He was just so young, and he knew that he wouldn’t want to end up somebody so sick, if he didn’t have a bloody good reason for it.
Blaine wandered around the grounds, aimlessly walking around the bushes and trees, and not paying attention to his surroundings at all. Until he heard a soft giggle: he then looked up, and stopped, mesmerised by the scenery.
Kurt was sitting in the middle of the field, surrounded by vivid-coloured flowers and emerald-green grass. He fiddled with a little bouquet of flowers, giggling occasionally, when he lifted another flower to his nose and sniffed on it. His hair was practically shining, and it had such an unusual colour of brown that Blaine’d never seen before. And his face… It was so heavenly with that little smile on his lips; he looked almost like an angel.
Blaine needed to look away, so that he could gain his breathing back.
Kurt then opened his lips, and started singing.

Lights go out and I can’t be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
You’ve put me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead (singing)
Come out of things unsaid, shoot and apple of my head (and a)
Trouble that can’t be named, tigers waiting to be tamed (singing)
You are, you are

Shivers ran up and down Blaine’s spine, but it wasn’t anything like yesterday. The words caressed his ears, or at least that’s what he felt, listening to Kurt’s amazing voice. The song wasn’t connected to any kind of material, as Blaine wanted to believe, because really, all he could focus on was the godlike sound, and everything else didn’t matter. He didn’t want to understand the meaning of the words, he just wanted to enjoy hearing them.
Kurt didn’t stop singing during Blaine’s thinking:

Confusion never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks (gonna)
Come back and take you home, I could not stop, that you now know (singing)
Come out upon my seas, curse missed opportunities (am I)
A part of the cure, or am I part of the disease (singing)

Blaine looked up, straight into Kurt’s eyes. That last line… Was it about him? He didn’t really know, and he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to know or not, but… A sudden urge to ask Kurt about it rose inside of him, and apparently, it wasn’t going away.

You are (x6)
And nothing else compares
Oh no nothing else compares
And nothing else compares

You are
Home, home, where I wanted to go (x4)

When Kurt stopped singing, Blaine felt like he was punched on his chest. He stumbled over to Kurt, and let himself fall to the grass. He breathed in and out for minutes, before he could start speaking.
“I don’t know what to say,” he mumbled, feeling a bit ashamed for not being able to voice his thoughts clearly, even though his thoughts were as clear as never. It was all worth it. He wouldn’t choose any other way. He would fight for this, for everything that he could be and he could give.
“It’s okay,” Kurt replied. “It’s not like you could ever understand this whole hell that’s called my life. But you need to know that your presence… At the library… Also the way that you try to reach out, it means a lot to me. … You kind of want to understand me… Am I right? Nobody’d ever tried to do that for me. So, thank you for that. But here, you can stop.”
It was the longest speech Blaine’s ever heard from Kurt. He was focusing on Kurt’s voice so much that he didn’t understand the meaning of it at first.
“W-what?” he asked back, stuttering a little. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean,” Kurt replied, “that you should stop caring about me. I’m not worth the… Effort. I’m nothing more than a regular patient, and whatever attraction you might have towards me should stop right here, right now. Not only because we’ll both get damaged, but it’s prohibited for an employee to have a relationship with a patient.”
“I-I know that!” Blaine snapped back. “But, Kurt… You do worth the effort. Because you matter. To me, at least. I-I don’t… Care about stupid rules. And I certainly won’t care about what you’re saying. Look, Kurt… What I’ve seen… Is really not good, I admit that.” Blaine stopped for a minute, thinking his words again, before he looked up from fiddling with his fingers, into Kurt’s surprised eyes. “But I saw something… Incredible under the surface. Something that’s worth fighting for.”
“B-but I’m not… worth it,” Kurt mumbled, looking nearly shocked.
“Yes, you are. And you won’t change my mind about this. Eventually… I’m going to break all of your walls down, and when I did that… I’m going to be there for you, and support you.”
Kurt couldn’t seem to handle all of this trust and help handed to him. He stared into nothingness for minutes, while Blaine stared at his face, analyzing every single movement on his amazing features. After a while, Kurt opened his lips, and 30 second later he started to speak.
“Okay… Well… Let me tell you a little story then. I don’t know how nice or, not nice it’ll be… But I can assure you, it’s one of the easier stories. There are many which are much darker and more saddening than this one.”
“Okay, bring it on, I’m ready,” Blaine replied, reaching out for Kurt’s hand and squeezing it a little. Kurt looked down to their hands, and squeezed back, if only just a little. Blaine smiled.
“So… The story starts on a sunny day, fourteen years ago, October 27th. That day, I found my mother lying in a huge puddle of blood, brutally murdered in our kitchen.”
Blaine swallowed hard. He just realized what he’s gotten himself into, but it was too late to turn back now.
He squeezed Kurt’s hand again, encouraging him to talk. And he truly hoped he won’t throw up during that.