Okay, mainly because I was hoping to bump into Kurt.

Even though it was ludicrous to think that he would ever think of me as anything more than that one friend who was much younger than him, I was forgetting more and more that there was a ten year gap, that we had only really known each other for a month and that he was a Broadway actor. I mean, the odds were very firmly stacked against me. Still, he was dreamy. And fundamentally (though ten years had passed since the last evidence for this was penned) we were alike. Different lives, different scenarios, but for the most part we were kindred spirits.

So yes, even as I handed the small, beautifully wrapped package to Jo over the counter and she practically strangled me in one of her famous bear hugs, I was scanning the small coffee shop for signs of Kurt. Unfortunately, my search turned up no results.

Well, I did manage to find Sebastian.

We still hadn’t properly talked since our last fight (almost a month ago now) and the air was thick between us. But as far as I knew we were still together and I needed to sort things out. I really did love him, even though meeting Kurt had complicated things a little.

He looked up and I didn’t have a hope of escape. He was looking directly at me as if calling me over and I couldn’t pretend that I hadn’t seen. Instead, I nodded seriously and turned to Jo.

“I’ll be back in a bit,” I said.

“Totally understandable,” she said softly, before handing me a massive cup of coffee. “Here, take this. It’s a tall on me. You’re going to need it.”

Thank god for Jo.

I mouthed her my thanks as I made my way over to where Sebastian was sitting and I had never been more aware of how tall he was. He didn’t say anything as I sat down and for the longest time we just sipped our coffees in complete silence. After what seemed like forever, the quietest, most inconceivable words were tumbling from his mouth.

“You were right.”

“Excuse me?” I replied, not quite sure what was going on. If he meant what I thought he meant, then I was probably witnessing a sincere apology - something that was very new to Sebastian Smythe.

“I said you were right. I was an ass. I shouldn’t be pushing you for anything you’re not ready for yet. And I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to apologize, but I didn’t want to do it over the phone and school is the epicenter of all awkward.”

He stretched his arm over the table to take my hand and I wrapped my fingers lightly around his without a word. It was a lot to take in. I couldn’t remember what I had resolved to tell him before I walked over, but I knew that it wasn’t anything involving forgiveness. And yet, I couldn’t not forgive him after that.. This was my boyfriend - the guy I had given almost a year of my life to. I suddenly realised that before I truly explored what my feelings for Kurt were, I had to at least give Sebastian another chance. He deserved that. For the most part, he had been an amazing boyfriend.

“Blaine, can we just be us again? That’s all I want,” he asked, almost pathetically when I still hadn’t replied. I smiled softly and tightened my grip around his hand.

“Yes, we definitely can.”

“Without the weirdness?” he said, raising an eyebrow. I bit my lip in hesitation for a split second before nodding. Sebastian grinned.

“Have I told you lately that I don’t actually deserve you?” he said, bringing my hand up to his lips to brush a soft kiss over my knuckles.

“I was thinking the same thing,” I said, knowing that there was a blush creeping into my cheeks.

Almost as soon as we seemed to get comfortable with each other, however, Sebastian glanced at his watch and jumped up.

“Sorry, babe, I have to go. My mom’s organised a huge family get-together and you know how she gets with these things.”

I did. It wasn’t pretty.

“Okay. I’ll call you,” I said as I got up off my seat to stand in front of him. “We definitely need to go out sometime.”

“I’m taking you to Columbus on Saturday night. It’ll be perfect. Away from home for a while, just the two of us, hot chocolate, Christmas lights. I’m going to romance the shit out of you this weekend.”

“Well when you put it that charmingly…” I said sarcastically, standing up on my toes to press a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. He seemed to protest as I pulled away, but I placed a hand on his shoulder to silence him. “There’ll be plenty of that on Saturday, provided you play your cards right.”

“I plan to,” he said with a final wink and made his way past the crowd that seemed to have appeared in the shop while we were talking. Among them was Kurt. My stomach did an involuntary backflip and I suddenly realised just how much of an asshole I was. I had just organised a date with my boyfriend and here I was pining after some guy in his late twenties. How sick was I?

The thought didn’t stop the hammering of my heart as I walked over to where he was standing in the queue, waiting to be served.

“Blaine!” he said, his face lighting up in the most inconveniently amazing way. “I thought it was you, but I wasn’t sure.”

“How are you, Kurt?” I asked politely, not quite knowing how to reply to Kurt’s greeting. He’s just glad to see his friend, Blaine. That’s all.

“I’m great thanks. Just finished my Christmas shopping and thought I’d step into the Bean for a quick mocha. I’m pretty sure I’m taking my order to go though. This crowd is crazy. Are you on your way out?”

“Uh, no, not really,” I said, hating the butterflies that seemed to have taken up residence in my stomach. “I think I’m going to grab another cup before I go home. Can never have too much coffee in this weather, right?”

I was talking about the weather. I was in desperate need of rescue.

Luckily we weren’t that far from the front of the line, so I was spared further humiliation.. Jo, for some reason, was glaring at me before pasting her professional smile to serve us our drinks. On mine she had scribbled “we’re so talking about this later, mister”, to which I gave her an apologetic grimace as I followed Kurt out of the shop.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t watching where I was going and before I really knew what was happening the ground was approaching me rapidly and my coffee was flying completely out of my hands. And to my horror, instead of landing innocently on the snow, it hit the small of Kurt’s back.

“Oh god! I’m so so so sorry, Kurt! Are you okay?” I said, knowing from his diaries that his clothes were really important to him, and also concerned that the hot coffee might have burned him. I didn’t need to worry, however, because when he turned around I saw that he was practically gasping for air he was laughing so hard.

“I’m fine,” he said, when he had regained his composure somewhat. “You seem fine too. Did you slip on some ice or something?”

“I think so,” I said, still feeling horrible about it. “Your coat though. It’s probably ruined.”

“Oh, don’t worry, it wasn’t mine. It was Austen- never mind.”

Austen? As in Austen Taylor? He was the one that Kurt was so upset about? I suddenly felt murderous, despite having never met the guy before. I just knew anyone crazy enough to break Kurt’s heart was an asshole.

I pushed it to the back of my mind and decided to use my clumsiness to my advantage.

“Well, I still feel bad about it. Do you want to stop by my place to clean it? We have a washer and dryer. And I may or may not have baked cookies this morning.”

Kurt grinned.

“How can I argue with that logic? I’ll meet you there in a bit. I just need to quickly take care of something inside. Text me the address.”

“I will,” I smiled, hardly believing my luck. I climbed into the Chevy and sent the address before speeding off home to make sure everything was ready. When I walked through the door, I noticed that the house seemed too quiet.

“Dad?” I said loudly. “Dad, a friend of mine is coming over for a while. I spilled coffee on his coat so he wants to clean it here.” There was no reply. Not even a grunt. It was very unusual.

“Dad?” I said, suddenly feeling worried. He wouldn’t just ignore me like that. He was busy a lot of the time and things had been difficult between us, but he wouldn’t just flat-out pretend he hadn’t heard me.

I checked the study, his room, the kitchen, both bathrooms, the attic, my room and the living room before realising that he clearly wasn’t home. Which was strange because he usually told me when he went somewhere.

I decided to return to the kitchen to check if he he had left a note. I scanned the refrigerator door for any new scrap of paper and before long I found it.

I wished I hadn’t.

“Blaine?” came Kurt’s voice in between knocks on the front door. “Blaine? I’m here. You won’t believe it but this was my old place. How crazy is that?”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I was terrified he’d come in and see me in the state I was - crying like a baby because my father had said he’d be on a business trip over Christmas. It was pathetic.

“Blaine, are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you? I see your car’s here and oh god please don’t be hurt.”

There was a note of panic to his voice now and I debated whether or not to at least send him a text to let him know that I was okay and that some personal stuff had come up.

However, I realised a beat later that I had left the door unlocked and that Kurt was coming in. I looked up at him from where I sat further down the hall, clutching my dad’s note in a scrunched-up ball, tears still slipping down my cheeks.

“Blaine!” said Kurt, looking at me concerned. He set down what looked like a fresh cup of coffee with “M. Drip” scrawled across it before kneeling down next to me. “What happened? Are you okay?”

I shook my head truthfully. There was no sense in trying to hide the truth - not when I was blubbering like an idiot. Next thing I knew, Kurt was sitting next to me and pulling me into his arms. I started crying harder, though nothing had ever felt as comforting. He stroked my shoulder gently and kept muttering “it’s okay - just let it out”. My tears soon subsided.

“You’re going to think I’m so pathetic,” I said dully as I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater. Kurt frowned at the gesture,pulled back and handed me a handkerchief from his pocket.

“Anything that makes you cry like this is not pathetic. It’s important. And I can’t promise to give you any advice for it, good or otherwise, but I can promise to listen and be a friend? Isn’t that what we agreed to a few weeks back?”

I nodded and took a deep breath.

“I first have to give you some context. I tried to come out to my parents midway through my freshman year and it caused so much drama that for a large part of my high school career I ignored the idea of being in a relationship. My mother grew up in a strict catholic home and even though she’s not particularly religious, some things seemed to stick. So while I wanted to be in a relationship more than anything, the idea of messing up my family was so terrifying that I couldn’t bring myself to act on it. Then Sebastian and I happened and my mom walked out without a word to me. Just packed her stuff, left and never came back.”

Kurt took my hand tightly and I realised just how badly I actually needed to get all this out. I hadn’t even told Sebastian the full story.

“My dad still won’t tell me why, but I know it’s because I’m gay. Deep down I know my dad is concerned for me and he’d probably be supportive too if it wasn’t for what it did to their relationship. But he just can’t be. And it looked like things were starting to get better between us, but he’s been called away on another business trip over Christmas and New Years and I’m stuck here alone. He never used to let business get in the way of family stuff and it seems like it’s just because he can’t handle being around me after what happened between mom and him.”

I was crying again and Kurt’s thumb traced comforting patterns across the back of my hand. I dared to look up at him and his face was so full of concern that I found myself swelling inside. Things were bad, but finally someone was there to listen to me. It was, despite all things, one of the best feelings in the world.

“I don’t even know what to say right now, Blaine,” he said softly. “I’m not going to insult you by pretending I do. But I know that you’re not stupid or pathetic or weak for feeling upset about this.”

I wiped my eyes with his handkerchief again and nodded, not entirely sure I fully believed him yet.

“And you should definitely think about packing a bag,” said Kurt, standing up and pulling me up as well.

“Uh… why?” I asked, not really sure where Kurt was going with this.

“You’re obviously not staying here alone over Christmas, Dummy,” Kurt said with a smile. “You’re going to be staying with Finn and I. And my parents are coming back from DC so it’s going to be really awesome and everyone’s going to be together. I mean, if that’s okay with you. It’s totally cool if that’s weird for you, I just thought…”

I threw my arms around him, unable to express my gratitude. I really couldn’t believe that he would do that for me. I tried to form the words necessary to thank him, but all that came out was a weird mutter that made me sound like my mouth had stopped working. Kurt seemed to understand it because he whispered “you’re welcome” into my ear before we broke apart so that I could pack and he could get his coat into the wash.

I couldn’t stop grinning as I piled clothes into my suitcase and listened to Kurt singing on the top of his lungs in the laundry room. I really couldn’t believe it. I was going to be spending Christmas with the family I had read about so much. The family I had dreamed about being a part of.

Suddenly, I couldn’t be too mad at my father.