A week after the sing-off,  the glee club piles into a bus and they're off.

Not two minutes after they're out of the McKinley parking lot, the bus erupts with noise. People shouting across aisles, paper balls tossed at each other, and of course the usual pre-competition bickering. 

"Is it always this loud?" Blaine nearly shouts to Kurt, who merely chuckles.

"Always. Here," Kurt pulls out one of his earbuds and offers it to Blaine. 

"It helps drown out the noi-" before Kurt can even finish, Mercedes shouts "I think we should tell Blaine more about Kurt." Almost everyone quiets down. She winks at Kurt, who glares at her down the aisle of the bus. 

"So, Blaine... Did Kurt ever tell you about April Rhodes?"

"No...?"

"Oh God, guys, this story isn't even that funny." 

"Basically, she gave Kurt a bunch of booze and he comes to school a couple days later drunk off his ass and then he puked all over Mrs. Pillsbury's Obsessive Compulsive shoes." Blaine chuckles at this and eyes Kurt questioningly.

"Oh! And then there was the time he kind of went crazy and acted straight." Finn adds.

"No! No no, really, he doesn't wanna hear about that." Kurt interrupts desperately. 

"Actually, I think I do." Smirking, Blaine waits for someone to start the story.

"It was to impress my dad. He was kind of hanging out with Finn more than me and I got really jealous so I sang a mellencamp song in glee. No big deal."

"Whatever dude, you wore flannel for like, a week." 

"Oh shut up, Finn, it was two days." 

"And you went around those two days holding Brittany's hand." Tina interrupts. 

"Okay, guys, really. That's enough story time. Go back to your paper-wad-throwing." 

*****

"Okay, Ready guys?" Mr Schue asks as the light goes off, indicating that it's McKinley's turn to get onstage. 

"LET'S DO IT!" Puck shouts, and they all crowd out of the small room and prepare for the first number.

The curtains open and the 'trouble tones' are on stage in the silence for a brief moment, allowing the tension to build. Then the music starts and the girls take control of the stage.

She, she ain't real She ain't gonna be able to love like I will Sure, she's got it all But, baby, is that really what you want?
(Silence)
Bless your soul You've got your head in the clouds You made a fool out of you And, boy, she's bringing you down She made your heart melt But you're cold to the core Now rumor has it she ain't got your love anymore
Rumor has it (Rumor) Rumor has it (Rumor) Rumor has it (Rumor) Rumor has it (Rumor) "Don't forget me, I beg" I remember you said, I've heard that you settled down That you found a girl And you're married now I heard that your dreams came true Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you
(Woah)
Rumor has it (Rumor) Rumor has it (Rumor) Rumor has it (Rumor) Rumor has it (Rumor) "Don't forget me, I beg" I remember you said
Rumor has it (Rumor) Rumor has it (Rumor) Rumor has it (Rumor) Rumor has it (Rumor) "Don't forget me, I beg" I remember you said Never mind i'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you two, Don't forget me i beg I remember you said Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead

The applause is almost defeaning until the girls are offstage and suddenly it's just Rachel, belting out her go-to 'don't rain on my parade' with her usual gusto. 

Don't tell me not to live, Just sit and putter, Life's candy and the sun's A ball of butter. Don't bring around a cloud To rain on my parade!
Don't tell me not to fly I've simply got to. If someone takes a spill, It's me and not you. Who told you you're allowed To rain on my parade!
I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum, And if I'm fanned out, Your turn at bat, sir. At least I didn't fake it. Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it!
But whether I'm the rose Of sheer perfection, A freckle on the nose Of life's complexion, The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye,
I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, Juicy, and you see I gotta have my bite, sir!
Get ready for me, love, cause I'm a comer, I simply gotta march, My heart's a drummer. Don't bring around a cloud To rain on my parade! 
I'm gonna live and live now, Get what I want--I know how, One roll for the whole shebang, One throw, that bell will go clang, Eye on the target and wham  One shot, one gun shot, and BAM Hey, Mister Arnstein, Here I am!
I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum, And if I'm fanned out, Your turn at bat, sir, At least I didn't fake it. Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it.
Get ready for me, love, 'cause I'm a comer, I simply gotta march, My heart's a drummer. Nobody, no, nobody Is gonna rain on my parade!

There is a commendable amount more cheering and clapping before they are rushed out onstage and the curtains open one more time for the final song.

Roof off We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker Tear the roof off the sucker Tear the roof off We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker Tear the roof off the sucker Tear the roof off We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker Tear the roof off the sucker Tear the roof off We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker Tear the roof off the sucker
You've got a real type of thing going down, getting down There's a whole lot of rhythm going round
You've got a real type of thing going down, getting down There's a whole lot of rhythm going round
We want the funk, give up the funk we need the funk, we gotta have that funk We want the funk, give up the funk We need the funk, we gotta have that funk
Na-na-na-na-na Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow
We're gonna turn this mother out  We're gonna turn this mother out 
You've got a real type of thing going down getting down There's a whole lot of rhythm going round
You've got a real type of thing going down getting down There's a whole lot of rhythm going round
We want the funk give up the funk We need the funk we gotta have that funk We need the funk gotta have that funk
We want the funk give up the funk We need the funk we gotta have that funk We need the funk gotta have that funk
We're gonna turn this mother out  We're gonna turn this mother out 
We're gonna turn this mother out 
We're gonna turn this mother out 
Ow, we want the funk give up the funk Ow, we need the funk we gotta have that funk
Ow, we want the funk give up the funk Ow, we need the funk we gotta have that funk
La la la la la Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, owww! La la la la la Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, owww!
You've got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down There's a whole lot of rhythm going down You've got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down There's a whole lot of rhythm going round
Ow, we want the funk give up the funk Ow, we need the funk we gotta have that funk

*****

After what seems like hours of waiting, the groups are called back up onto the stage. The judge takes far too much time leading up to opening the envelopes and her voice is almost as painfully annoying as Rachel's. Finally though, she breaks the seal of the first place envelope and announces: "McKinley High's 'New Directions'!" 

Victory squeals go up around them and Kurt pulls Blaine into a kiss. 

"We won!" Blaine exclaims after pulling away a few seconds later.

"Yes, we did!" Kurt chuckles into his ear.