Kurt

“Are you ready for this?”

“Blaine, I wouldn’t have said yes if I knew I couldn’t handle it,” said Kurt.

Blaine had been pacing the length of Kurt’s bedroom nervously since the time he had arrived at Kurt’s house. Today was the day that Karfosky would be coming over to Kurt’s house to apologize to him and while Kurt had somewhat managed to keep calm, he couldn’t help but run various scenarios through his head all night and now he was slightly shaky with the combination of caffeine and lack of sleep.

Kurt knew there couldn’t be possibly anything that would go wrong. Karofsky wanted to apologize, to make things right and he still had 15 minutes to primp and preen and make himself look and feel flawless until Karofsky was expected to arrive. The least he could do was look absolutely fabulous while his stomach rolled with nerves in expectation of the meeting.

“I know you can handle it Kurt…I just keep thinking back to that day when you called me, sobbing and terrified, after what he did to you. I don’t think I’d ever be able to forgive him, Kurt. I don’t know how you’ll be able to do it.”

“I read in Cosmo that it’s unhealthy to hold grudges. All the stress is bad for your heart, and you know I can’t risk anything because of our family history,” said Kurt, uncapping the bottle of cologne in front of him and spritzing a couple of times into the air and walking back in forth through it.

“Since when do you read Cosmo?” Blaine asks, stopping in the middle of the room and looking at Kurt incredulously.

“I-I….might have picked it up while I was waiting to get my hair cut at the salon,” Kurt stammered, cheeks pinking in embarrassment. “Please don’t judge me.”

Blaine laughed loudly and pulled Kurt into a kiss. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck and deepened the kiss. Blaine pulled away after a few seconds and said, “I promise I won’t judge you. I may have paged through a few issues with Sierra a couple of times.”

“Oh, really? Now…what kind of article is Blaine Anderson interested in reading in an issue of Cosmo? 101 ways to please your man?” asked Kurt playfully.

Blaine leaned in and brushed his lips against Kurt’s ear.  “Do you really think I need a magazine to tell me how to please my man?”

                “Absolutely not,” Kurt murmured. “You’ve been doing fine on your own.”

                “As have you,” Blaine replied.

                Before they could lean back in to kiss, the doorbell rang down below and Kurt sprang away from Blaine, heart hammering.

                “He’s early,” he said, voice shaking. Kurt looked into the full length mirror that stood in the corner of his bedroom, assessing his appearance.

                Blaine appeared behind him, hooking his chin onto Kurt’s shoulder.

                “You look amazing,” Blaine said quietly.

                “Thanks. I didn’t doubt it for a second, though,” Kurt said confidently. Blaine laughed and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards the door.

                “Come on, let’s go answer the door before your Dad beats us to it and scares him off.”

David

                David had been sitting in the Hummels’ driveway for ten minutes before he convinced himself to get out of the truck, walk to the front door and ring the doorbell.  He didn’t understand why he was so nervous. He hadn’t slept well all week; his dreams filled with ugly confrontations and stress. While managing to convince Hudson had been a feat in itself, apologizing to Kurt was going to be the toughest thing he’ll ever have to do.

                Months of weekly appointments with his therapist had lead him to this point. Learning to open up and actually talk about his feelings took at least a month in itself. Not to mention the two months it took to start writing in the journal that his therapist gave him during their first appointment. He was brave enough to come out to his parents and to talk to a stranger about why he felt the way he did and why he acted so harshly to someone who was completely innocent. Surely he could battle this obstacle, right?

                He stood at the door for a good 45 seconds until he heard the sound of pounding footsteps behind it. The door swung open to reveal Burt Hummel, wearing an old flannel shirt and a ball cap on his head. His face was void of expression yet David felt like he was going to throw up. Burt stood silent, waiting for David to say something. He swallowed the words of apology running rapidly through his mind, (I’m so sorry for hurting your son. He never deserved it. I’m sorry for putting you through this), and settled on introducing himself.

                “Mr. Hummel, I’m David Karofsky. I’m here to see Kurt.” He held out his hand as an act of politeness. Burt grasped it with his own oil stained hand, and shook it roughly.

                “Come in. Kurt should be down any second now,” said Burt, eyeing David carefully. “But before he comes down, I just want to say that I think you’re doing a great thing today, kid. It’s never too late to try and mend your mistakes.”

                “What’s great is that Kurt is actually allowing me to do this,” he replied, wringing his hands.

                “Despite everything he’s been through,” Burt gave David a pointed look, “he’s genuine and kind and gives everyone a chance. You’re lucky, or I’m sure you’d have your ass beat down from here to next Sunday.”

                David just smiled warily and nodded.

                “WE’VE GOT THE DOOR!” a voice called out from where David assumed was the second level of the house.

                Kurt appeared suddenly at the top of this stairs, his boots stomping loudly on the steps.  A boy with curly brown hair followed him.

                That must be Kurt’s boyfriend, he thought and his heart panged with jealousy. No matter how hard he tried to work through it, knowing Kurt had someone who loved and cared for him as much as this boy did was something he could only wish for.

                “Hello, Kurt,” he greeted nervously.

                Kurt looked shocked as the use of his first name.

Well, I don’t blame him. I haven’t called him anything but Hummel or something else since I’ve known him…he thought.

                “Hello David, I see you’ve met my father who was just leaving.” Kurt shot an annoyed look at his father, who nodded slightly.

                “I’ll be at the Garage until dinnertime. Finn’s upstairs playing X-box and Carole’s working late. I left money on the table if you want to order something for dinner,” said Burt, grabbing his keys and heading towards the door. “Call me if you need anything.”

                “We will Dad, thank you.”

                The three boys stood awkwardly in the foyer as they waited for Burt to leave.

                “I’m sorry about that,” said Kurt. “I wasn’t intending to let him answer the door, in case he scared you off or something. “

                David smiled slightly and shook his head. “I don’t think he tried to scare me off, well, not too much.”

                Kurt scoffed and shook his head. “I would have been down faster but we got a little caught up. Plus you’re a little early. Anyways, shall we sit?”

                David nodded.

                “This is my boyfriend, Blaine, by the way,” said Kurt, snaking an arm around Blaine’s waist. Blaine just nodded curtly and David did the same.

                I definitely do not ever want to cross him, thought David. The look in Blaine’s eyes was enough to kill.

                He followed Kurt and Blaine into the living room and sat down on one of the couches. Kurt and Blaine sat across from him, Kurt subtly reaching for his boyfriend’s hand and settling back into the cushions.

                There were a few moments of silence before David decided to finally just open his mouth and start saying the things he’s been running through his mind ever since he started therapy all those months ago.

                “Kurt I…I just. God, I don’t even know where to start,” he said honestly.

                Kurt sat patiently across from him and was that…a look of encouragement on his face?

                He took a deep breath and started again. “That day in the locker room was the lowest point in my life and I’ve done some pretty bad things. I don’t know what happened. My whole life I’ve just followed what my friends did. I picked on kids because they picked on kids. It came to a point where I knew I’d have to be the same as them, or I’d be an outcast. I thought that if I didn’t have my friends anymore, I’d have nowhere to go.  I didn’t want to be left behind. In the back of my mind I knew it was wrong, but it was like I was blinded. I stopped thinking about other people’s feelings and I started to focus on how good it made me feel when I put others down.  I also felt like nothing could touch me when I was being a bully. If I was the one who was doing the bullying, it meant that no one could bully me. “

                “When we got older, words like gay or fag suddenly had actual meaning and the power to hurt. When word got around that you were gay, it was like a switched flipped. Everything we did to you was about being gay and I never realized how much it could hurt. I still don’t realize it. I admitted to myself that I was gay when I was 14 and I was changing in the locker room after the first football practice I had ever been to and…”

                He trailed off and looked up at Kurt and Blaine, who were both smiling a little. David realized that was the first time he ever alluded to himself being gay to someone other than his parents or his therapist.

                “Um, yeah so...after you came out I knew I’d never have a chance in hell of coming out and being accepted. So, I protected myself. I knew that if I went along with my friends and kept quiet, no one would ever know that I was gay. I even kissed a few girls, which was really not fun at all.”

                Kurt and Blaine both burst out laughing across from him. He must have looked shocked because Kurt immediately started to explain.

                “I’m sorry! We’re not laughing at you, I swear. Both Blaine and I have kissed girls and we know exactly what you’re talking about.”

                “At least their lipgloss tastes kind of nice,” Blaine mumbled quietly.

Kurt smiled at his boyfriend and nodded. “Brittany’s tasted like root beer,” he said.

                “Wait!” said David, “You kissed Brittany?”

                “I did. I was trying to convince my dad I was straight so I could fit in with him and Finn, but it didn’t quite work out,” he replied.

                “Oh. Right…well. Anyways, as we continued through high school I noticed that you were getting more and more confident. You fought back, joined Glee. Your comebacks were flawless. You did not give a fuck about what people thought about you, no matter how many times we slushied you, or threw you into dumpsters and called you names. You seemed so comfortable with yourself and I was just so jealous of that. I really was. I wanted to be out and proud, just like you. But I knew I’d never have a chance here in high school and I was so scared. Plus, when I overheard Finn talking about your new boyfriend, I was just so angry. I just wanted to be like you and it seemed so unfair that you had a chance to be happy, while I had to stay completely miserable.”

                Kurt and Blaine sat silently across from him, looking thoughtful.

                “So I just really wanted to say that I’m sorry for everything and I honestly wish I could take it all back. Ever since the incident in the locker room, I’ve been beating myself up and feeling so guilty about it. I’m sorry, Kurt. I really am.”

Kurt

                “I accept your apology, David. And I forgive you,” said Kurt.

                “Wait, what?!” David exclaimed. “You…you actually forgive me? For everything I did to you.”

                “David, while it may take me a long time to forget everything that’s happened in the last couple of years, I don’t exactly hold a grudge against you anymore. Obviously you have to guts to come to my house and apologize to me personally. That’s huge. I would have never in a million years expected this from you, and I frankly I think it’s outstanding. I know how hard and terrifying it is to realize that you’re different from everyone else because of who you are attracted to. Until I met Blaine, I didn’t know what it was like to be truly happy. I didn’t know what it was like to be able to have someone in my life, who knew exactly what I was feeling, someone I could relate to. I know that it’s kind of clichéd, but it truly does get better. It does. You’ve been through just as much crap as I have, but in a different kind of way. If anything, you had it worse, because you were fighting with yourself this whole time. I knew I couldn’t be anyone but myself, but you…you were hiding who you really were and I can’t hold that against you. It’s honestly such a waste of energy to focus on the bad things in life. And yes, while I was upset and shaken for a while after you kissed me, I got over it. I focused on the people who I love and who love me back, my hobbies and my schoolwork. I realized that there was no use focussing on the bad, when I have so many good things surrounding me and I really think you need to start realizing that as well.”

                “I think I’ll get there eventually, you know? But it might take a while,” said David, looking down at his shoes.

                “And that’s okay. You don’t have to rush anything. Take time to figure out who you really are. You’ve already taken one big step towards getting better, right? You’ll be fine.”

                “Thanks, Kurt,” said David, sheepishly. “It means a lot.”

                “Same goes for your apology. I really appreciate that you did this, David.”

                They smiled at each other across the room for a moment, before Kurt realized Blaine was squeezing his hand. Blaine leaned over and whispered, “You’re amazing”, in his ear before David started to speak again.

                “I guess that’s all I really wanted to say.  So I guess I’ll get going,” said David. He stood up and started to walk towards the door.

                “David! Wait!” David stopped in the middle of the room and turned towards Kurt.

                “Dalton has a PFLAG group that meets with the groups in Lima and in Westerville once a month to do something fun. We’re doing lazer tag and going out for pizza this month. You should come. You could bring your parents, if you want. Blaine and I are going with our parents and some of our friends. It should be a good time. I think you’ll have fun.”

                “I-I’ll think about it,” David stammered, seemingly shocked. “Thanks.” 

                “I’ll get your number from Finn and text you the details closer to the date, if that’s okay?” asked Kurt.

                “Sure,” he nodded. “I’ll see you guys later,” he said before he walked out the door.

“Did that actually just happen, Blaine?” Kurt asked breathlessly.

“It did, babe.”

“Holy. Shit.”

“I know.”

“He actually apologized.”

“Yes.”

“And it was sincere.”

“It was.”

“Wow…I can’t believe this. We should celebrate!” Kurt exclaimed, jumping up and down a little.

“Yes! Definitely! We should definitely celebrate!”

“We should make cupcakes, Blaine! Maybe we can even stick a candle in one of them and make a wish!”

Kurt laughed when he noticed Blaine trying to cover up his disappointment.

“Blaine, Finn is home. We can’t celebrate that way.”

“I know,” Blaine pouted.

Kurt kissed his cheek. “Maybe later,” he whispered into his ear.

“I’m holding you to that, Mr. Hummel.”

“Blaine, don’t I always keep my promises?” he called out, skipping into the kitchen.

Blaine shook his head. “Kurt Hummel, I swear you are the most interesting kid in all of Ohio,” he mumbled under his breath before he followed Kurt into the kitchen.