When all is said and done
Chapter 29
5 days until New York…
Marco was dreading this. He hadn’t slept at all last night. When Kurt had gone he knew he’d have to talk to Mercedes and sooner was probably best. He really couldn’t face dragging it out. He knew if he called her he’d have to explain over the phone and that wasn’t fair on anyone so he sent her a quick text.
To: Mercedes
Listen I need to talk to you about something. It’s important. Meet me tomorrow, 10 am at the usual spot. Malcolm.
Mercedes jumped at the sound of her text tone. She had stopped hoping for each message to be from Malcolm so she was definitely surprised to say the least at the ID on display. Of course her immediate reaction was to call back Malcolm but it seemed his phone had already been switched off. Of course she considered not going the next day but she couldn’t fight the hope that maybe this was all an honest mistake and Malcolm would have a good explanation as to why. Anyway Mercedes knew she couldn’t ignore the text or the meeting. She was in way too deep with Malcolm. It needed sorting.
Mercedes barely slept the night before. She was excited to be seeing Malcolm again yet nervous too. She didn’t know whether to be overjoyed at his return or upset at his disappearance. She reconsidered going so many times she lost count but never really got to the point where she made up her mind not to go. She arrived slightly early. She’d wanted to get there quickly so she couldn’t spend another hour agonising over whether to go. So she ordered herself a coffee and sat at her and Malcolm’s usual table.
Malcolm himself, Mercedes noted, arrived exactly on time; not a minute early, not a minute late. He glanced her way before hurriedly turning back and going to order himself some coffee. Mercedes momentarily thought about about going to join him but she didn’t want to look desperate so she left it.
Malcolm ordered his usual coffee, this time without ordering a muffin that he normally would have done for Mercedes. Mercedes tried to not let that get to her; after all it was just a stupid muffin. Malcolm came over to join her, he didn’t meet her gaze; he looked sheepish and almost guilty. Mercedes was hardly surprised I mean who leaves their girlfriend without contact for a week!
“I guess I have a lot of explaining to do,” Malcolm said slowly.
“You can bet your ass you do, white boy. Spill,” Mercedes said firmly.
“This is quite a long story and I guess a bit shocking but before I begin I know I will lose my nerve if I get interruptions, so can you promise not to no matter. You can say whatever you want to me once I’m done but if you want to hear it all you have to let me talk, agreed?” Malcolm asked her, looking into her eyes for what felt like the first time in their relationship.
“Agreed,” Mercedes kept her voice level despite the tense knots in her stomach.
“Ok, well firstly; my name isn’t Malcolm. I’m actually called Marco,” Mercedes omitted a small gasp but still kept her promise by not interrupting,” I play Fiyero in Wicked alongside your friend Kurt. I’m gay and I guess I sort of fell for him. He rejected me and it made me feel like crap, I know it wasn’t right, I see it now and I pretty much hate myself for it but I wanted to hurt him the way he had hurt me by rejecting me. I turned a lot of the cast against him. I dating Trixie then dumped her, blaming Kurt to use her influence against him too. I don’t know when it happened but at some point it wasn’t about revenge and hurt anymore. I figured, in some twisted corner of my mind, that if I hurt him enough he’d have no other choice but to go with me. If I made him so sad but offered him a way out, I thought he’d take it. I was an idiot, a fool in love I guess you could call it. Upon reflection I guess it wasn’t really love but infatuation. I soon go so far in I just couldn’t stop. When Kurt got together with Blaine I guess it hit me hard; before he was always at least available. Blaine took my role, he was there to comfort Kurt and protect him, I had planned on doing that. I wasn’t the only one who wanted to split them Trixie and Jayden also, but for different reasons. Together we formed an unholy alliance I guess you could call it, we decided to find out what happened in the past and make something similar re-occur causing them to split. We pretended to be their friends to get the information. Trixie sucked up to Kurt and Jayden sucked up to Blaine. I, and I’m so sorry for this Mercedes, went after you. You need to understand I was a desperate man; I would never do any of these things with a clear head. So I pretended to like you to get closer to you, I took you put and did my very best to be the perfect boyfriend. I must have played my part well because you told me everything I wanted to know about Blaine and Kurt in high school. So our little group pulled a stunt, it’s probably the thing I regret most in my whole life, please understand that. I… kissed him. Trixie and Jayden took a few pictures and… Jayden took them to Blaine. Pretty much straight after I apologised to Kurt, so did Jayden. Blaine and Kurt are stronger than ever, just to let you know. It was all a stupid stupid mistake. I knew I needed to tell you because I can’t just leave no explanation to a sudden disappearance. So that’s all I have to say, I guess. I don’t expect any forgiveness this is really just for your own sake, so you can move on from me,” Marco finished quietly, bowing his head in an attempt to avoid Mercedes’ piercing gaze.
Marco felt a soft hand lift his chin up and he was soon facing Mercedes, looking her in the eyes. For a second he wondered if she still loved him… then he felt it. The slap was being hit by a train (not that Marco had ever been hit by a train). Mercedes’ expression was murderous; if looks could kill he would definitely be a smouldering pile of ash by now. “That was for Kurt,” she whispered fiercely at him, practically hissing the words.
Mercedes dashed out of the coffee shop at top speed, she couldn’t get away from that place fast enough. She couldn’t believe she had been so stupid. God! What kind of a friend was she!? She couldn’t help the overriding feeling of guilt that she had caused Kurt’s pain. It was almost suffocating. She had to go and see her friend. She knew she needed to apologise. But through it all she could still feel the sense of regret at turning Sam down.
Kurt was free until the evening so he and Blaine decided to spend the morning out together. They went out to the park and Kurt laughed as Blaine dashed off to the kitchen to get some bread for the ducks, “you are such a dork!” he teased.
“Hey! I hardly think care of the environment is cause to tease someone! Anyway the ducks and I are friends! I haven’t visited them in ages!” Blaine defended himself.
“What is this a date or a social gathering?!” Kurt laughed.
“I guess I’d have to say a mixture of the two,” Blaine said placing his head in his forehead in mock concentration. Kurt tripped over to place a kiss on his nose.
They walked to the park with their arms linked, refusing to relinquish grip of the other’s arm despite adversity from passers-by and the thin walkways that lead up to the park. Upon arrival Blaine spotted a bench for them to sit at. Blaine put his arm around Kurt and Kurt leaned his head into his boyfriend’s chest. Kurt tried desperately not to get used to the feel of Blaine’s body against his own. He knew he was already going to have problems going back to New York as it was. Kurt found it difficult, however, when Blaine’s body heat was so damn inviting.
Blaine reached into the bag and started throwing bread out to the ducks. It was such a cosy setting that Kurt didn’t ever want the morning to end.
Marco felt like he’d been on an emotional rollercoaster. Telling everything to Mercedes made it all sound so much worse to his own ears. It had never seemed like that at the time. He felt so bad for Mercedes too. He walked down the street fighting back tears; tears of regret and tears of loss. Suddenly he felt a pair of arms snake themselves around his waist. Just before he wheeled round and punched whoever it was a familiar voice whispered in his ear, “it’s me.”
Jayden
Marco loved spending time with Jayden. Jayden seemed to understand so much better than anyone else. Marco leaned over to kiss the man behind him on the lips. Their relationship was pretty fast paced. After fawning over someone for so long they were both ready to get into a serious relationship with someone. Jayden had spent the night at Marco’s house and it had been agreed that he would again that night.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Jayden asked softly as he removed his arms and linked one around one of Marco’s own arms.
“I think I’d like that,” Marco gave Jayden a small smile, maybe things would be ok after all.