He tried to enjoy the kiss.  It was a nice kiss.  Nice.  But it didn't curl his toes, didn't send a thousand butterflies flying in his stomach, didn't launch fireworks.  And, if he was honest, their kisses never had.  Placing a hand in the center of his chest, Kurt gently pushed Adam away – his gut tightening when he realized Adam was chasing after his lips. 

“Adam?” his voice was tight.  “I…I can't.”  He fumbled to find the words.

He didn't really need to.  Adam was perceptive.  “Fantasy man?” he confirmed.

“I'm sorry, Adam.  I really am.  I don't want to lead you on,” Kurt breathed out, running his fingers through his hair.  It was already messed from their make out session.

Shifting, Adam reached out to brush a stray lock of Kurt's hair back into place.  “I…appreciate your honesty.  I hope you find…what you're looking for.  Happiness.”  Standing, he pulled his coat off the back of a chair.

“Adam?” Kurt's voice was still tiny.  “I really have enjoyed our friendship…I know it's the ultimate cliché…but I really wouldn't mind being friends.”

Walking around the couch, Adam sat on the back and cupped Kurt's face, lifting it up to meet his gaze.  “I'm going to need some time, Kurt.  I…” he hesitated, swallowing perceptively, “I really like you.  I'm going to need time to…move past that.  But…I will call you when I do.  Because I really have enjoyed spending time with you.”  Leaning down, he brushed a kiss across Kurt's forehead.

When he reached the door, he looked back one last time at Kurt.  “Thank you…for being honest with me.  I'll see you at school, Kurt Hummel.”

When the door slid back in to place, Kurt picked up his cell and dialed.

To: Frodo

When u coming to NY to audition? –Satan

To: Santana

Promise me u won't say anything –Blaine

To: Frodo

Fuck. Whadya do? Or who? –Satan

To: Santana

It's not like that – Blaine

To: Santana

I withdrew my app to NYADA

To: Frodo

WTF??? U in class?

To: Santana

English.

To: Frodo

U gots 2 mins to get ur ass to a bathrm. We nd 2 tlk

True to her word, two minutes later his phone was ringing.  Blaine had gone out to cement steps where he'd performed “It's Not Unusual” to talk.  There were three other students who were probably cutting class, scattered around the area.  No one was going to care.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

“The fuck, Hobbit?” Santana started as if they were in mid-conversation.

Blaine swiped at the tears that came to his eyes.  “I can't,” he whispered knowing Santana would know what he was saying.

“Bullshit.  Your Hobbit ass belongs up here in New York.  Period.  Who the hell am I supposed to call for bail monies when I finally throttle Little Berry Sunshine?  I needs you.  And even though he's too much of a coward right now to admit it, Porcelain needs you too,” she was the perfect combination of good cop/ bad cop all mixed into one feisty Latina.

Sniffling, Blaine pulled out a tissue and blew his nose as quietly as he could.  “I've been seeing someone.”

“Okay, I'm on the next flight to Lima so I can kick your ass, Anderson,” she snapped angrily.

“NO! No! No.  Santana, not like that.” When she finally stopped yelling at him in Spanish, Blaine attempted to explain himself.  “I'm not dating.  I'm seeing someone…a counselor…therapist.  For depression and anxiety,” he admitted quietly.

“Oh.”

“Please don't judge me,” he pleaded.

“Never, Frodo.  I…I think it's really…brave of you, to ask for help.  Really.  So, can you tell me what that has to do with New York?”  Hardly anyone but Brittany ever saw this side of Santana.

Blaine stared at nothing, considering his words.  He hadn't talked to anyone but his counselor about this.  Not Sam.  Not his parents.  “I asked him…well, I tried to.  I had a ring and everything.  And he laughed at me.”  Blaine had to stop because he knew if he continued at that moment, he'd start sobbing, and that was the last thing he needed to do at school.

“It's okay, Blaine.  Take your time.  Or tell me to piss off.  I'm here for you either way.”

When he had himself under control, he started again.  “Part of me…died that day, Santana.  He laughed.  And it was stupid of me…I recognize that now.  I talked to Burt about it, and he told me to wait – that we were meant to be and I shouldn't rush things.  But I was just kidding myself.  He kept telling me we were ‘just friends'.

“I didn't want to live anymore.  I mean, I didn't want to hurt myself or anything…I just didn't…care.  I was just…going through the motions.  Coach Sylvester called my mom when I couldn't wear my Cheerios uniform because I'd lost so much weight.  Mom made me go to the counselor.

Blaine switched the phone to his other ear, feeling a bit guilty that he still had the bathroom pass.  “Going to New York…going to NYADA…would just be rubbing salt constantly into this gaping wound in my heart.  To be that close to him…I can't, Santana.  I can't just be friends with him.  It hurts too fucking much,” his voice broke as the tears overtook him.  He dropped his head on his knees, listening as Santana murmured soothing things over the crackling phone line.

“Listen to Auntie Tana, Frodo.  You're going to get through this.  I'm not there to sing some embarrassing song in Glee club, but I could arrange that if you think it would help.”  She smiled when Blaine giggled through his tears.  “Blaine, I'm sorry I can't be there for you right now, like you were there for me…even though I was a complete bitch to my Pretty Ponies.”

“Yeah, you kinda were,” he agreed with a smile.

“But I'm gonna leave you with a few things to think about – along with the instruction that any time you need to talk, you call me.  First, if New York is the best place for you to get the education you want and need to end up doing whatever the hell you want to do as a career – you owe it to yourself to make that choice.  It will be painful – but so will looking back on your life ten or twenty years from now and regretting that you didn't put yourself first,” she advised sagely.

“Second…Kurt broke things off with Adam.”  She paused when she heard Blaine gasp.  “And while I'm sure Doctor Who was a nice enough guy, he didn't stand a chance.  He isn't you.  And you and Hummel are soul mates.  Don't give up on him just yet.  By all means, heal yourself.  But don't give up on love just yet.”

Swallowing hard, Blaine took a deep breath as he considered everything she had said.  “Thanks, Santana.”

“Yeah, whatever.  So, when and where are we getting those matching dolphin tattoos?”

“Left shoulder. And the day after never,” he answered his laughter echoing off the cement.

Hearing a key in the lock, Santana knew it was Kurt coming home from classes.  “Look, Hobbit, you probably need to get back to class.  ‘Cause you care about school and shit.  Remember, call me.  Anytime.  Love you.”

“Love you more, Lopez.”

“Of course you do,” she replied right before hanging up.  Standing up, she put her hands on her hips and waited for Hummel to walk through the door.  They were going to have a talk.