Possibilities.

The world is full of them. Defining the future, carving out your path. And Kurt's head can't stop thinking of them.

What if New York wasn't full of traffic.

What if his cab driver didn't take a wrong turn.

What if his hands weren't shaking so bad and he could tell Blaine that it would all be okay.

What if he had still hidden the knives.

What if Blaine didn't hide his feeling so much.

What if Kurt hadn't gone for coffee that day.

What if the world wasn't so cruel.

What if.

Unfortunately, these were just possibilities. And in the way the world so often works, they weren't coming true.

Kurt hadn't texted Blaine. So Blaine had sat in that bathroom, slumped against the wall, with nothing to stay awake for. His eyes were seeing more red than anything else, and the smell was making him feel nauseous. So he closed his eyes, not really thinking of anything because his head hurt too much. And the trouble is, once you close your eyes it can be awfully hard to reopen them.

So Blaine stayed like that, his heart thumping loudly in his head. And soon enough, those thumps slowed down.

But this story must follow an active character to carry on the story. So here, we leave Blaine as he is, slowly finding his peace somewhere we will never know until it is too late. And we join Kurt.

Kurt has sort of…blanked. We could describe his feelings, use a thousand metaphors, but the truth is, Kurt isn't feeling right now. Panic has numbed his every sense and right now, he's just a body.

And that body will get out of the cab, thrusting a 20 dollar note into the driver's hand. And that body will run, without stopping, into his apartment and up six flights of stairs. And his hands, almost useless from their shaking, will open his bag, find his keys, drop his keys, pick them up and finally, force them in the lock. And that lock will turn, and that door will open.

There's a saying that goes, ‘When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.'

Kurt has never believed in god and now he never will. Because this door hasn't closed, it's opened. Which means a window has shut, a window in the form of the dark, curly haired boy in his bathroom.

This is what happened, and this is what will haunt Kurt for the rest of his life. This is what will make him cry out in the night, sweat sticking his clothes to his skin. This is why Kurt will no longer have to take Blaine to counselling sessions, but instead himself. This is the story of how two boys died in one night.

Kurt runs through their apartment, blinded by his thoughts of Blaine. He runs into their bedroom, thinking Blaine might be in there, but the sweet smell of blood draws him into their bathroom. The door slams open, pushing Blaine, who was sat against it, over, face down on the floor. And all Kurt can see is red.

Red floor, red cloth, red clothes, red boy. Red blood.

And underneath all that red, is the colour of pearly white. Blain is no longer tan but deathly, skin scarily pale and lips a frostbitten blue. And Kurt holds that body (because it must be said that Blaine is no longer Blaine, but a body) and cries into it, shaking, doing anything to wake Blaine up. And his fingers search for a pulse, but inevitably, none can be found. And his chest no longer carries the familiar beat of life, but is cold, silent.

When Kurt rings for an ambulance, it comes in 15 minutes.

And they're all very nice people. They take Kurt out of the bathroom and make him sit on the couch. They give him a hot drink and a pat on the shoulder. They clean him up when he vomits down his shirt.

And then they take Blaine away.

Kurt doesn't know what's happening. The nice lady in the green uniform tries to explain something to him but he can't really hear her. And he never stops crying. Not once.

And then Kurt finds himself in a car, not one with sirens on but it's still driven by the ambulance people. And Kurt doesn't remember how he got there but soon they stop and he's taken into the hospital.

And he's told something again.

He has to give them Blaine's parent's numbers, his address and all that stuff. But the words he hears echo inside his head forever.

They're still their when Mr and Mrs Anderson come to confirm the body. They're there when Burt and Carole come to pick him up, for a two months stay at their house. They're there when Kurt goes back to work. When he starts feeling happy again. When he's at the altar, holding the hand of a man he's learnt to love also. When Kurt holds his first child. When Kurt lies on his bed, family gathered around him to say goodbye.

Because on that day, Kurt died also. A little piece of him went with Blaine to take him up to heaven. And now, at age 87, Kurt's leaving. He's leaving to be with his Blaine once more.