Blaine is quiet.

The next day Kurt wakes up with Blaine wrapped far to tightly around him, as of he's afraid he'll wake and Kurt will be gone, but more than that, like he never would have existed at all.

Kurt twisted around to turn off his alarm and Blaine tightened his grip in his sleep, Kurt tried to pull out of his grasp but it was no use, "Blaine... Honey I have to go to work" the term of endearment just slipped out, like when your comforting a sick child, you just can't help it "I know" came Blaine's sleepy mumble, but his arms didn't loosen up "You have to let me go," Kurt said sadly, stroking his fingers through the other mans hair "I know" it came as a whimper and then Blaine was asleep again, with Kurt still locked in his steel grasp.

Kurt had never called in to work, in four years he had never once called in, he'd gone in impeccably dressed and looking like death and been sent home, but never called in. And now here he was with his phone to his ear waiting for Rose to pick up, his other arm tightly around a sleeping Blaine. "Hello?" Rose's voice was light and chipper when she picked up "Hey Rose, it's Kurt" it helped that his voice was naturally deep and gravely with what little sleep he had gotten in the night.

"Oh honey! You sound awful! Did you get that bug that's been going around?" Kurt thanked the stars for his good luck, and Rose's ever present tendency to jump to conclusions, "Afraid so" he lied "Oh, well you just stay home today and rest up, and we'll see you tomorrow!" Rose was a mom of two, so her concern and comfort came through even on the phoneand it made Kurt smile "Thanks, see you tomorrow" and he hung up.

He dropped his phone back onto the night stand and settled back against the pillows and into Blaine's tight embrace, all the movement jostled Blaine and he groaned disapprovingly, burrowing his head into Kurt's chest "Ssshhh, I'm not going anywhere" Kurt shushed him quietly, and let his own eyes slip closed.

~//~

Blaine spent the entire day stuck to Kurt, never getting more than two feet away from him and never saying more than three or four words at a time, even when he's cooking lunch Blaine is right there at his side, not even wanting to go sit at the table. Honestly Kurt doesn't mind the clingyness, he understands and so he reciprocates, hugging Blaine to him often and gracing him with far more random touches then he usually would. Blaine's always at arms length and Kurt is thankful, because he's not sure he wants to leave him alone right now.

Blaine is quiet.

Even through lunch, as they kept their legs pressed together under the table, there's no usual conversation, no light hearted jokes or recounts of days events, just silence. Kurt wants so bad for Blaine to just open up to him, and let it all out, but it's not his place to push it, so he doesn't.

After lunch they wound up on the couch and Blaine fell asleep in Kurt's arms. So Kurt took the time to quietly call his dad and explain his odd melt down the night before, no specifics, just that it had been an emotionally trying day, and to apologize profusely for waking him up. Burt assured him that it was fine, and to always feel like he could call him at anytime, for any reason.

They reconnected for a while and finally ended the call when Burt had to get back to work, and Blaine was still sleeping soundly, so Kurt rested his head against the top of Blaine's and let him sleep.

Kurt never did fall asleep, but he didn't want to wake Blaine, so he stayed, lost in his own thoughts until Blaine started to move in his arms.

"Sorry I made you miss work.. You didn't have to" Blaine apologized sleepily "I know, I wanted too" Kurt assured him "Besides it's not like they can fire me" Kurt joked and managed to get a tiny smile out of Blaine.

"Cooper found me" Blaine stated unnecessarily "I know, how are you feeling about that today?" Kurt asked softly, glad Blaine finally brought it up "Good." Blaine said quietly "It's good he found me, I don't want to cause him any pain, I didn't know I would"

Kurt wrinkled his eyebrows as his fingers slid through Blaine's hair "Blaine he's your brother, why wouldn't you think he would worry about you?" he asked and Blaine sighed "I don't really know him" he answered honestly "When we we're kids he never wanted anything to do with me, and then when we grew up he left and I hardly ever saw him, how was I supposed to know he'd miss me when I was gone?"

"Well... It seems like he really loves you" Kurt supplied his opinion and Blaine smiled a little "Ya. I guess he does" he said and fell silent again. After a few more minutes Kurt couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry, but I really need to use the bathroom" Kurt squirmed beneath him a bit and Blaine sat up, "Thanks" Kurt pecked him on the lips before getting up and Blaine yawned as he watched him walk out of the room, how could he be so tired when he'd slept all day? Blaine made his way over to the fire to add more logs and found there was only one left. He tossed it in and opted to go get more from the back yard.

Before he turned from the fire he watched it engulf the one small log, his thoughts roaming over Cooper and the events of the day before, and a sudden realization hit him. He had basically hated Cooper his whole life, hated him for judging him as a child, hated him for abandoning him, but most of all he hated him for something that wasn't even his fault. He hated him because he knew his father loved him, and that wasn't fair.

Blaine knew in his heart he loved Cooper, and Cooper loved him, and he didn't have to feel this anger toward him anymore, because he could careless that his father would never love him. At least that's what he told himself.

For what ever reason in his emotionally drained state, his mind made the decision to walk outside in nothing but his socks, sweat pants, and a tank top. He trudged into the snow, the cold instantly seeping in, half way through the yard to the pile of wood Blaine saw the remnants of their snowman, covered over by the fresh snow that had fallen, and he snapped.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG ME!" Blaine screamed at the top of his lungs looking up at the fading sun in the sky "NO! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" he started to grab handfuls of snow, chunking them at the nearest tree as he shouted, all the pain and betrayal from his father's resentment leaking in and taking over his body, and blocking out everything else but how much it hurt. Kurt came barreling outside, and the sight of Blaine half naked in the snow nearly knocked the wind out of him.

"Blaine!" Kurt shouted from the porch and he could see that Blaine had tears pouring down his face "I'M THROUGH!" he shouted, continuing his assault on the tree "I'M THROUGH! I'M THROUGH WITH YOU! I'M NOT-" in his stooping to get more snow he tripped and landed on his hands and knees, and Kurt came flying off the porch as he started to punch the snow ferociously all the way down to the ground.

"I ONLY EVER DID EVERYTHING YOU EVER FUCKING WANTED! I GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME? MY SOUL!" Blaine continued to scream and curse and punch the ground and when Kurt reached his side he fell to the ground without a second thought and warped an arm over him, "WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME!" Blaine screamed so loud the veins in his neck bulged as he punch the ground with all his might, and even when his knuckle nicked against a rock and the red blood stood in stark contrast to the white snow, he didn't stop.

"blaine, please stop" Kurt's desperate whisper cut through the white light in his head when the heat of Kurt's tear made contact his frozen skin, and Blaine realized for the first time Kurt was draped across him, while one hand griped his arm tightly trying to make him stop. Blaine turned and fell into Kurt's arms, his tears coming hot and thick as the snow melted through their clothes, soaking them to the bone "why doesn't he want me?" Blaine asked quietly as rough sobs wrecked his body, and of course it was a question Kurt couldn't answer.

Kurt stood up and pulled Blaine to his feet, and they hobbled inside as their bodies began to shake uncontrollably. Kurt got to work removing their wet clothes once they were inside, and Blaine just stood quietly letting Kurt strip him down. The only thing that was still dry were their boxer briefs, so Kurt stopped there.

He silently lead them to the living room and pulled Blaine down to get warm in front of the fire and tucked the old quilt around them. Blaine settled deep into Kurt's arms and tears still streamed silently down his cheeks "Tell me about your father" Kurt asked quietly into his hair "You know about him" Blaine said shortly, and Kurt didn't let it get to him "No, tell me everything, start from the beginning, and tell me everything" Kurt knew how important it was to just get it out sometimes, and he really wanted to know.

"Why?" Blaine's tone was cold and hard, and Kurt knew it was from years of discrimination and hatred in his own home "Does it even matter? Soon you're gonna be gone, and you'll never see me again... We don't even have that much time left, we never had that much from the beginning" Blaine spoke even and quiet and if he wasn't already crying he may have started then "That's true," Kurt nodded slightly "but right now, it's just you and me, and we have all the time in the world, and I wanna know" Kurt pressed his lips near Blaine's ear as he whispered his clearly sincere words, and worked hard to hold back his own tears "Let me help you Blaine."

Blaine let out a deep sigh and tangled his fingers tightly together with Kurt's, and started to talk, "My dad, only ever wanted one child, a boy, to grow up and take over his company and be the amazing upstanding son he always wanted, and Cooper was born and everything was perfect... He was smart, even as a baby he was attractive, he learned fast, and was ahead of the curve at every turn. My dad couldn't have been more pleased"

"Then, well, contraceptives don't always work, and ten years later, surprise! My dad wanted mom to have an abortion, and she almost did, but as she sat in the waiting room and thought about it and watched the other women go in and come out, she just couldn't do it. It was the first and last time she ever stood up to my dad, and, for all intensive purposes, it ended their marriage. Of course a devorice never looks good on anyone, so it was out of the question, and the day I was born, is the day my mother started drinking."

"I was a colicky baby, and according to Cooper, my nursery was the room furthest from my parents, so I could cry myself to sleep at night and not bother them. It didn't take me long to figure out Cooper was the favorite, so I just stayed out of his way"

"My dad and I always just kind of coexisted, we never had a great relationship but we could at least be in the same room together, and as soon as I was old enough it was off to boarding school, Dalton, in Westerville, two hours away from home. I was one of the very few kids who stayed in the dorms over the weekends, and apart of the even fewer who stayed every weekend, I think there were three of us. So anyway I saw my family very little, holidays and the short summer breaks that Dalton gave us, not that I minded, and it didn't take long for Dalton to become my real home."

"So really when I did see my dad, it was like seeing an estranged uncle, since most of the time I was home he was at the office or locked up in his study. But still, I wanted to make him proud, I wanted to make him love me. So I worked so hard at everything thing I did, and excelled in areas probably nine out of ten times, of course the only one I wasn't optimal in, is the only one he ever brought up."

"I remember when I was nine and got my first B, in 'Exploration of Thermodynamics', Dalton always had weird classes, and it was an elective I took, to uh, make myself look good I guess-"

* * *

Blaine walked into the house with a bright smile on his face, nine year old legs carrying him quickly from room to room, the first person he found was his mother refilling her wine glass in the kitchen. "I'm home mommy!" he exclaimed as he latched onto her legs "That's nice dear" she said as she distantly patted his head, her disconnect was something he was all to used to, and it didn't faze him.

"When's daddy getting home?" he asked with bright shinning eyes, he was excited to share his final report card, all As and one B, "When he gets home" was his moms noncommittal answer before she took her wine and walked out of the room.

Blaine made himself busy in his bedroom, not playing or building things like any other child, but reading books that were far to advanced for him, in effort to be at the top of his class when the new semester started.

It was well after nine when he heard the front door close heavily followed by his father's voice booming out his name, Blaine raced down the stairs, report card in hand. He went to hug his father but his crossed arms and surprisingly angry sounding voice stopped him "Is that your report card?" he asked gruffly of the paper in Blaine's hand.

"Yes" Blaine looked up at his dad who towered over him, suddenly feeling not so proud "I've already seen it" he said with a sneer and ripped it out of Blaine's hand anyway "What do you see here Blaine?" he asked with cold hard eyes and a tone to match "Seven As and a B" Blaine answered quietly shrinking in on himself.

"Oh? Because all I see is failure" he sneered and balled the paper up in his hand, and tears brimmed in Blaine's eyes "I'm sorry, it was an elective class, it was two grades above my own!" Blaine tried to defend himself his eyes focusing on the toe of his fathers overly polished shoe, "You never make excuses for your short comings Blaine, to which there are far many" his father took a step closer to him and Blaine shuddered "And you certainly don't cry over them."

"You will not let this happen again" Mr. Anderson said in a deep overbearing voice "Up to your room. No dinner tonight" he finished and Blaine turned immediately bolting up the stairs, partly to hide the tears streaming down his cheeks, and partly to get as far away from his father as quickly as possible.

* * *

"I cried more than I ever had that night, I think it was when I really started to realized I was never going to be good enough for him, not that I excepted it. No not at all." Kurt tightened his arms around Blaine but didn't say a word, even as his heart broke for him.

"Then I turned ten, and one day I was listening to my best friend talk about a girl he had a crush on, and I realized I felt the same way about him, that he felt about her, oh I never told him, and eventually one day he moved away. But it made me start to see that maybe I was gay, and then by the time I was fourteen I knew for sure, and I knew all hope of my father ever excepting or loving me was gone. But I also knew he was stuck with me"

"See Cooper was supposed to take over the company, but then he went off to college and decided he wanted to be an actor, so the duty fell to me and my dad said I would finally be useful for something. It didn't matter what I wanted, I didn't have a choice"

"So when I came out it only made it worse, it was like I was doing it just to spite him. That two weeks he didn't talk to me after was both a blessing and pure torture, I just wanted him to say something, anything! When finally did talk to me it was because I'd used the wrong fork at a dinner when some uptight business men were over, in hindsight I probably did it on purpose, just to make him talk. He yelled at me for a good ten minutes about it and sent me to my room, he still didn't mention my sexuality. Not that night anyway."

* * *

It had been three full months since Blaine had come out, and you could count on one hand the number of conversations he and his father had had since, and none of them addressing the issue itself.

Blaine was sitting cross-legged on his bed typing up a short story when he heard a knock at his door, "Enter" he answered simply, not that the person had waited for one, his father was already opening the door and stepping inside, "What can I do for you dad?" he asked without looking up "Blaine." his dad said his name and waited but nothing changed "Blaine!" he barked and Blaine finally looked up at him sliding his computer forward off his lap.

"Now that I have your full attention" he crossed his arms "I have a client coming over on Thursday, he's bringing his daughter, I thought you would like to, entertain, her." his dad explained and Blaine's mouth hung open slightly, of all the reactions he expected out of his dad, this was not one of them. To just pretend it never happened?

"Dad. No I don't want to 'entertain' her. I'm gay, remember me mentioning that a few months ago?" Blaine's tone was condescending and his facial expression was board, he knew it was a dangerous move but really, he just didn't have the energy to care anymore.

"This is unacceptable behavior Blaine and I will not have it!" he father stated and he huffed "My sexuality is not a behavior dad, it's a fact! And there's nothing you or me or anyone else can do about it" he said testily and his father stared him down "You will meet this girl, you will be polite to her. Do you understand?" his dad was not looking to be pushed around, so Blaine sighed as he pulled his computer back into his lap "Fine, what ever" he said dismissively giving into his father.

"I suggest you watch your tone boy, you don't want to regret it later" his father's hard voice sent a shiver up his spine, if he was being honest he was more than a little afraid of him, most of the time. And with that his father turned and walked from the room.

* * *

"Oh I met the girl and she was nice enough, turned out she had a secret boyfriend anyway so we spent the whole time discussing fall fashion and the severe lack of decent clothing stores in Lima."

"But that was just the start, my father just pushed more and more girls on me until finally one day I put my foot down and refused to see anymore. That was a big fight let me tell you."

"But somehow through it all, I still just wanted to make him proud, even though I knew I never could, but that didn't stop me from trying. The B I got when I was nine was the first and last, I only ever got straight As after that, and I worked my ass off for each one, I was always doing something else at which I could excel in. Polo, lacrosse, tennis, debate team, boxing, and the list goes on"

"I never told him I joined the Warblers though, that was kind of like my safe zone, where I never had to worry about being judged." Blaine paused his story and was quiet for a long time, tears continuing to flow down and soak in Kurt's shirt where it met his cheek, and Kurt's thumb ran comfortingly over his fingers where they were wrapped together.

"He never loved me" his voice was so quiet it was nearly a whisper "He never will" Blaine's eyes drifted downward "I don't know why I care" Blaine confessed, and Kurt could hear what he wasn't saying "You deserve to be loved Blaine" he stated holding him just a little bit tighter still.

"How could you possibly know that?" Blaine's broken voice exposed his soul and revealed all his secrets, he was afraid he would never be loved, "Because I love you" Kurt breathed into Blaine's hair "I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm in love with you like some cheesy romcom, because let's be honest we've only known each other for two weeks, but I will say I love you as a person, I love everything about you Blaine, I think you are dapper beyond all compare, your talent is breathtaking, you are possibly the sweetest, most caring person I haveever met, I love the person you are" Kurt spoke with words as earnest and passionate as his feelings.

"There is a lot in you to love, and even the parts you don't think are, are still lovable, you. are. worth. loving." Kurt enunciated every word with purpose "Every part of you Blaine" he breathed and Blaine clung to him for dear life, and he held him back just as tightly. "I don't need him... Or his approval..." Blaine said quietly, for the first time sounding as though he actually believed his own words.

"I'm never seeing him again Kurt... Never.." Blaine let out a sigh of relief "And some day Cooper's gonna call me and tell me he's dead... And I'm not even going to his funeral..." Blaine said with quiet absolution "You don't want to go and say goodbye?" Kurt asked realizing they were speaking only in whispers "I don't think it makes much sense to say goodbye, when you've never said hello." Blaine answered and Kurt nodded in understanding.

Silence fell over them and Blaine sank deeper into Kurt's embrace, who wrapped himself tightly around him, and listened to Blaine's heart slow and breath even out as he fell asleep. And for once Kurt finally felt like he helped, he hadn't fixed him, but he helped and that, was good enough for now.