Road To Love: Chapter 3

Kurt was surprised to find that, once he had fully explained his situation, Santana was actually very willing to help him. Perhaps a little too willing, he thought for a moment, but he quickly pushed that thought aside. Santana was his friend (most of the time), and she was the best person to help him execute his plan.

At 1pm on Saturday afternoon, Kurt pulled on his pair of blue coveralls and headed out to the garage where his father and Blaine were working. It had been a week since he had last seen Blaine and it had felt like torture, even though both of their previous encounters had been brief and quite embarrassing.

When he reached the garage, he took a deep, calming breath before opening the door and entering. When Blaine looked up at him, he swore he felt his heart skip a beat, and it took all the inner strength he could muster to shoot Blaine a confident and seemingly unfazed smile. Blaine just stared. Kurt quickly turned to his dad as his stomach somersaulted. Burt was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You know today's Saturday, right Kurt? Blaine's here, we're well staffed."

Kurt smiled and skipped over to his father happily. "Dad, you have worked here 6 days a week, 8 hours a day for as long as I can remember. Now that you have 2 extra staff members, you can enjoy the wonderful freedom of what is called a well-earned break. Let Blaine and I watch the shop for the rest of the day. We'll be fine, it's a quiet day, and you know that I'm much better with the cars than I like to admit."

Before Burt could argue, Kurt grabbed him by the arm and dragged him towards the door. "Go inside, dad. Watch some football, have a beer, do gross kissy things with Carole or something. Have a great day, ok? Bye!" And with that, he pushed his dad out the door and shut it behind him.

Kurt leaned against the closed door and heard Burt's footsteps receding as he muttered fondly - "bloody kid…just like his mother, can't make up his damn mind…last week he was beggin' me to let him get out of helping…"

Well, Kurt thought. That was before Blaine showed up.

Surprised at how easy it had been to get rid of his dad, he immediately pulled his phone out of the pocket of his coveralls and texted Santana that the plan was a-go. Once he sent the message, he looked up to find Blaine still staring at him with wide eyes. Beautiful wide eyes, with a little curl of hair hanging down in front of them and his mouth slightly open…Kurt gulped, and Blaine suddenly jumped and turned away, shuffling awkwardly.

"Guess we ahh…better get back to work then," Kurt said, grateful that Blaine's back was turned as he examined the car in front of him, because he was sure that his face was bright red.

An hour later, Santana still hadn't showed. Kurt was a bit worried, but he was sure she'd pull through eventually – she wasn't really one to break promises, although she was certainly the kind of person who would do things in her own way and on her own time. He should just be grateful that she had agreed to this in the first place.

In the meantime, he and Blaine had been hard at work in a very tense and awkward silence. Kurt knew why it was awkward for him – he couldn't so much as look at Blaine without forgetting how to breathe, but he had no idea why Blaine seemed so jumpy around him. He was beginning to get really worried that Blaine had noticed how Kurt had been acting, and it had made him feel awkward and uncomfortable. The thought made Kurt extremely nervous, and he knew that he needed to ease the tension somehow. The silence felt unnatural and heavy. The problem was that he wasn't sure whether he would actually be able to form a coherent sentence in Blaine's presence.

Just as he was about to suck it up and attempt to start a conversation, he heard the sound of a car with loud music approaching. He breathed out a small sigh of relief, glad to have an excuse to put off the inevitable. This must be Santana and Brittany, he thought. But what rounded the corner was most certainly not what he had ordered. His jaw dropped in shock.

A huge red and white van pulled up outside the garage, with the letters "WMHS" (standing for "William McKinley High School") painted on the side. Blaine looked up curiously, but Kurt's mouth was dry as he dreaded what was going to come out of that van.

His worst fears confirmed, the door of the van opened, and out hopped the entire Cheerios team. And, what's worse, they were clad only in red bikini tops and their extremely short Cheerios skirts. Spotting Santana, he shot her the fiercest "don't you DARE" glare he could muster, but she only winked at him before scanning the garage and fixing her eyes on Blaine, who was standing a few feet away from Kurt, his mouth open in surprise. At least, Kurt hoped it was surprise, and not lust. Santana smirked, and made her way over to him, the Cheerios following her lead.

"Hey there, sexy," she remarked as she approached Blaine, who seemed unable to close his mouth or speak. She put one hand around the back of his neck to play with his curls, and the other hand on his chest.

"You're cute, like a puppy," Brittany piped up next to her. "I would pet your fur too, but I don't want Lord Tubbington to smell it on me and think I was cheating."

"I tell you what, gorgeous," Santana said in a sultry tone, "you give us a free tyre change, and you can make out with as many of us as you like. Or even better, you could not give us a free tyre change, and we could just make out with you anyway." The rest of the Cheerios giggled and stepped closer to Blaine. He looked absolutely mortified.

Kurt was reminded of a pack of wild animals closing in on their innocent prey. And Kurt was the heartless wildlife photographer. If he wanted to, he could intervene, but he had a job to do, and that job was to observe. To intervene would be counter-productive. He was furious with Santana, however. When he had called her, he had asked her to show up at the garage with Brittany and for both of them to flirt shamelessly with Blaine, and ask him out on a date with the both of them, at the same time. This was a technique that they had used on Finn, and possibly many other clueless guys, in the past. Santana and Brittany were two of the hottest girls in the school – and Santana's confident sex appeal coupled with Brittany's seemingly innocent charm made them almost impossible for any unattached straight guy to resist. Kurt had thought that it was a flawless plan. But the whole Cheerio's team? He was sure that Santana was just doing this for her own sick amusement. He was sure that even a straight guy would be freaked out by it. And Kurt really didn't need the whole team knowing about his crush on Blaine. Most of them couldn't keep their mouths shut to save their lives, and pretty soon the whole school would know, and then Kurt would get hell for it, and it might even get back to Blaine…

I am going to kill Santana, he thought.

The Cheerios were advancing on Blaine, caressing his chest and biceps, whispering into his ear and giggling, and rubbing their bodies all over him. Kurt swore he even saw Quinn (Quinn, of all people!) grab his ass.

Suddenly, Blaine seemed to regain the ability the move his limbs, and he scrambled frantically around to the other side of the car, trying to put as much distance between him and the girls as possible. When he spoke, his voice came out squeaky and it sounded like he was completely terrified. "Umm, ladies, this is all very flattering, but… umm, I'm not really…I can't…I'm working, I have to get back to work, I really…"

"What's the matter, babe? I'm sure Kurt will be willing to cover for you if you want to join us in the van for a few minutes. Won't you, Kurt?" Santana crooned, turning to him expectantly. He looked back at Blaine, who had turned to Kurt with horrified, pleading eyes, and he shook his head very slightly. He clearly did NOT want to get into that van.

"Actually Santana, I think it's time you left. Blaine is here to work."

Santana looked slightly miffed at Kurt's unwillingness to go along with her, but upon seeing the death glare Kurt was giving her, she seemed to decide that it would be best to wrap things up. "Come on, girls," she called, and they whined in protest as they followed her back to the van, smiling and waving at Blaine as they got in.

As the van drove away, Kurt heard Blaine breathe a loud sigh of relief. He looked over at Blaine, who was leaning against the car, hair dishevelled. At some point during that attack, the girls had unbuttoned the front his coveralls, and Kurt could see his collarbone and a few inches of his muscled chest beneath his white t-shirt. He swallowed.

After taking a few deep breaths, Blaine looked up at him. "Thanks for saving me," he said with sincerity. Kurt smiled.

"Anytime."

When Blaine pulled up to his house in the evening, he was relieved to see that his father's car was not there. He felt a twinge of guilt for being glad that he wasn't home, but the truth was, his father's presence just made everything feel tense. Blaine felt like he was constantly walking on eggshells around him.

He parked his car and headed inside. Upon entering the house he was hit by the delicious smell of his mom's cooking. He smiled, and headed to the kitchen. His mom's back was to the door, and she was in the process of preparing dessert while a roast cooked in the oven. She had the radio on and was singing along to Madonna loudly as she poured chocolate batter into a baking tray. She sounded amazing – Blaine knew that he had gotten his singing voice from his mother.

Blaine snuck up behind her, and joined in at the chorus. She jumped in surprise, but smiled when she saw him, and pulled him into a hug. They finished singing the song together, and a soft warmth spread throughout his body.

Blaine got along with his mother amazingly well. He found it hard to believe that she and his father could ever have fallen in love, as they were pretty much polar opposites. Unlike his father, his mom was gentle, sweet, and had always been nothing but loving and accepting towards Blaine. In fact, Blaine being gay was probably the one issue that caused tension between his parents, which made him feel guilty. When he had first come out, his dad had yelled at him so loudly that Blaine had been genuinely scared of him, and he had threatened to kick Blaine out of the house. But then Blaine's mom had taken his dad by the hand and led him into the lounge to talk. Blaine still didn't know what she had said to him, but half an hour later they had emerged. While his father's face had been solemn, he had apologised for his outburst, and assured Blaine that he would always love him, even though he wished he was straight. He had then left to go for a drive while Blaine's mom hugged Blaine for hours and let him cry into her shoulder until her blouse was soaked.

Because of his parents, Blaine had always believed in the saying "opposites attract". They balanced each other out. As much as Blaine believed that his mother was actually too good of a person for his father, she had assured Blaine multiple times that he was a good man, and Blaine knew that she would be miserable without him. Even though he didn't really understand the dynamics of their relationship, their love gave him a certain sense of hope. It made him believe in soulmates.

After they had finished singing, Blaine's mom gave him the bowl that had contained the cake batter to lick clean, like when he was a kid. They sat at the dining table together and she asked him how his day had been.

"Ugh, awful," he responded. "I was sexually harassed."

"WHAT?" His mother screeched, her jaw dropping.

Blaine jumped in shock at her outburst. "No, mom, relax, I'm kidding," he said, and relief washed over her face. "Well, I'm sort of kidding…a group of half-naked cheerleaders came by the garage today and started molesting me. They kept…touching my hair…and arms…and then they propositioned me to make out with them in their van. And the leader, she was scary, mom, seriously, she looked like she was going to eat me…why are you laughing?"

His mom was doubled over the table in silent laughter. She looked up at Blaine and he could see tears building in the corner of her eyes. He scowled at her. "It's not funny! I am traumatised! I might need therapy! Will you stop laughing?"

It took her a good five minutes to stop, gasping for breath as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Blaine continued to glare at her for finding his misfortune amusing.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, "It's just that…you were propositioned by a team of cheerleaders…that's every man's dream, my darling. That's something that just doesn't happen outside of porno movies. But it happened to you, and…you're gay!" She broke into laughter once again, even harder this time. Blaine tried to continue glaring at her, but he began to feel the corners of his mouth curl up in spite of himself. Come to think of it, it was kind of funny…Wes and David would be so jealous when he told them. He chuckled. Pretty soon, he and his mom were both a giggling mess.

A few hours after Blaine had left the garage, once Kurt had had some time to calm down, he sat on his bed and called Santana.

"Hummel," she answered, and Kurt felt frustration bubble inside him once again, as he could practically hear her smirking at him.

"You bitch, what did you do that for?" He growled, trying to keep his voice down so his dad wouldn't hear.

"Calm down, princess, I did you a favour," she sighed, sounding bored. "I just had a little fun with it, that's all. And don't worry, I didn't tell any of the girls why we were doing it, except Brittany and Quinn. They were totally willing to go and hit on a random hot guy without any explanation."

Kurt felt a little relief at this, but he was still angry. "Well, you should have let me know what you were going to do. Blaine looked terrified!"

"Isn't that a good thing? If he's traumatised by boobs, you get what you want."

"ANY guy would be freaked out by that oestrogen attack that you set up, Santana! He probably thought you were all insane!"

"No, you're wrong. He's either totally gay, or he's a blushing virgin. He wasn't even slightly tempted to take us up on our offer. Guys think with their dicks, Kurt. Always. "

Kurt frowned slightly at this. She seemed pretty sure. "Well, which is it?" He asked. "Gay, or blushing virgin? I'm a virgin too, you know."

"Yeah, and we all know you're a prude," she said. "Look, I've done my part; you'll have to tackle the final hurdle yourself. Use your secret weapon."

"Oh yeah, and what would that be?"

"Your ass."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Jesus, Hummel, you're such a girl! You're actually pretty hot, you know. You're not really my type, but Brittany thinks so. Mercedes used to have a crush on you. We all know Rachel wishes she had a dick so you two could get it on. If there were actually some out gay guys in Lima, you'd probably get more play than Puckerman."

Kurt gaped, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, embarrassed and completely at a loss for words. He had never really thought of himself as attractive before. He was sort of pretty, sure, but since when is pretty an attractive quality in a guy? Was Santana actually serious, or was she just mocking him?"

"W-what are you saying?" He stammered.

"I'm saying, you should put on one of your many pairs of tight jeans and bend over in front of him, and see if he gets a hard-on. Or, you know, something along those lines."

"SANTANA!"

"I rest my case about you being a prude."

"I-you-I can't believe you just-"

"Gotta go, Hummel. For your sake, I sincerely hope you get laid."

She hung up.

Kurt's face felt like it was on fire. She can't be serious, he thought to himself. Kurt didn't do seductive, or sexy. He didn't know how to do seductive or sexy.

He got up to stand in front of the full-length mirror in the corner of his room. He looked himself up and down carefully. He frowned, still not seeing the "hot" that Santana was talking about. He turned around slowly and looked down at his ass, which was currently clad in a pair of silk pyjama pants. He immediately felt stupid and ran back to his bed, collapsing onto it face-first and burying his face into the pillow, letting out a cry of frustration.

Blaine is coming back tomorrow, he thought to himself. Sexy, sexy….I can do sexy. Come on Kurt, think sexy. He got up off the bed with a determined look on his face. He could pull this off.

No, he couldn't.

Yes, he could.

He hurried to his wardrobe and shimmied into his tightest pair of black skinny jeans, before returning to the mirror.

He needed to practice.