Road To Love: Chapter 19

The trip back to the house was dead silent. Blaine's father's knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly, and his mother was twisting her hands together nervously. Blaine sat in the back seat, eyes fixed on his lap, trying not to breathe too loudly.

He wasn't scared of being yelled at.

He wasn't scared of being punished.

He was scared of being told that he couldn't see Kurt again.

And, as much as he hated to admit it, he was scared about losing the last remnants of his relationship with his father.

After what seemed like an eternity, they arrived home.

"Out," his dad said, before slamming the car door and marching inside. Blaine followed reluctantly, heart pounding in his chest.

When he walked inside he saw that his dad was seated at the dining table. Blaine sat down opposite him, and his mother sat between the two. Blaine almost laughed at this gesture. He hoped that when it came down to it, she would stick up for him.

Blaine's father leaned back in his seat, regarding Blaine with narrowed eyes. "Explain."

Blaine gulped, took a deep breath, and then braced himself as he launched into the story.

He started from the beginning. He told his father that Kurt was Burt's son, and they had met at the garage. He told him how they had been together for months and were planning to move to New York together the next year. He told the whole truth, and as he spoke, he felt like he was releasing all the pent-up tension and worry from his body. He had never realised before just how much it had been bothering him, keeping Kurt from his dad. He didn't want to lie anymore.

Once Blaine finished, his parents both sat in silence for a long moment. His dad's expression was unreadable. Finally, he spoke.

"Blaine, I love you. But you need to stop this."

"Dad, I can't - "

"I can't allow you to see that boy again."

"No!"

"YES, Blaine! You're too young to know what you want for the rest of your life! I'm your father, I have to protect you from making the biggest mistake of your life -"

"- Kurt will NEVER be a mistake! He's the best thing that ever happened to me!"

"Don't say that, it's not true-"

"EDWARD CHARLES ANDERSON, STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!"

Both men turned to look at Amy Anderson at the same time, mouths open in shock. Her cheeks were pink with rage, her eyes wet with unshed tears.

"…Amy?" Edward asked, all anger temporarily forgotten.

"Edward, I love you. But I also love my son, and I can't continue to watch you do this to him."

Blaine watched in stunned silence as his father gaped at his mother, seemingly lost for words.

"Amy, we have talked about this, you know how I feel -"

"-That doesn't mean I have to agree with it!"

"I thought you understood!"

"Understanding is not the same as agreeing! Of course I know how hard this is for you, Edward, but what you're doing is wrong. Blaine is your son, he needs you to love and accept him!"

"Exactly, he is my goddamn son! And I am going to do what's best for him! I have to protect my son!"

Blaine was shocked to hear his father's voice starting to crack. He had never seen his father cry before.

Amy glared at her husband, refusing to break eye contact. "This is not the way to protect your son," she said, voice calmer but edged with steel. "I know you think that you're doing the right thing, but you're not. At the end of the day, he'll still be gay. The only thing that will change is that he'll resent you for making him think that he wasn't good enough. So I'm telling you now, Edward, you are going to support your son. You are going to give him a hug and you are going to tell him that you want to have Kurt over next weekend for dinner. And then you are going to put every effort into getting over this, because we are both tired of waiting for you to come around."

"Amy," Edward said, eyes now trained on his lap, "I'm sorry. But I just can't."

Blaine felt a painful stab in his chest just as he heard his mother inhale sharply. An array of emotions passed over her face as she looked at her husband, finally returning to a look of stubborn determination.

"Well, Edward, if this is how it's going to be, we're leaving," she snapped, turning to Blaine. Blaine's eyes widened as he took in the implications of what his mother was saying.

"Mom -"

"Sweetie, go and pack a bag. We're going to stay at my friend Patricia's for a while."

With that, she spun on her heel and marched up the stairs. Blaine followed after her hurriedly, not wanting to be alone with his father right now.

As he ascended the stairs, he heard Edward Anderson let out a broken sob.

When Kurt's phone finally rang, he leapt for it and answered without even bothering to check the caller ID.

"Blaine?" he asked, voice filled with worry.

"Hey, baby."

"Oh, thank god, I was so worried."

"It's okay. I'm okay."

"What happened?"

"My dad...he…didn't take it so well. He's…not happy. He told me I wasn't to see you again."

"NO!"

"Shhh, don't worry, there's no force on this Earth that could keep me from you. But…my mom…she got really angry at him. There was yelling…he seemed to think he was protecting me, or something, by trying to get me to completely deny my sexuality. Anyway, when he refused to change, my mom told me to grab a bag, and now we're staying at her friend's house a couple of blocks away."

"Oh my god. Blaine, I'm so sorry. I never…do you think they're going to get a divorce?"

"I hope not." Blaine's voice trembled, and Kurt could tell that he was on the verge of tears. "They've always seemed so in love, Kurt. They only ever fight about me. If they get divorced, it'll be my fault."

"No, Blaine, don't you say that. It is not your fault for being who you are. This is down to your dad."

"Look, Kurt, I gotta go. My mom, she…she's crying, she needs me."

"Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine." Kurt wasn't convinced.

"Promise me you'll call me again first thing tomorrow?"

"I promise. I love you."

"I love you too. Hey Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Your father…you love him, right?"

"Of course I do. He's my dad. We used to be so close…almost like you and Burt are now. Until I came out. I'd do anything to get that back."

Kurt nodded, then remembered that Blaine couldn't see him. "He'll come around eventually."

"I doubt that, but thank you."

"Goodnight, Blaine. Everything will be okay."

"Sweet dreams, my love."

As soon as Blaine hung up the phone, Kurt rushed down the hall to his dad's study to find the phone book. He was relieved to find that Edward and Amy Anderson were listed. He quickly scribbled down the address before grabbing his keys and running into the living room. Burt looked up from his spot in the couch.

"Where're you going, kid? Is Blaine okay?"

"No," Kurt said, grabbing his coat and pulling it on. "His dad and mom had a huge fight. His dad's not okay with us being together and his mom got mad, and then she grabbed Blaine and now they're staying at her friend's house. Blaine's really upset, I need to do something, I need to go talk to his dad."

"Kurt, wait, slow down!" Burt got up from the couch and approached his son quickly, placing his hands on his shoulders. "I don't think this is such a good idea."

"I have to -"

"If his own wife and son couldn't get through to him, what makes you think his son's boyfriend could?"

Kurt paused, eyes brimming with tears. "I have to try," he choked, face crumpling as his dad pulled him into a hug. He sobbed into his dad's chest.

"I'll come with you."

Kurt looked up into his dad's face with red-rimmed eyes, sniffing lightly.

"No, you don't have to do that -"

"Kurt," Burt responded firmly, "I'm the proud father of a gay kid. If anybody can get through to this guy it might just be me."

Kurt paused for a moment before nodding, face breaking into a watery smile. He hugged his father tighter, and was once again struck by an overwhelming wave of love and gratitude.

"Thanks, dad," he whispered.

"Don't mention it, kiddo," Burt replied gruffly. "Now let's go talk some sense into this guy."

Sitting in the car outside the Anderson's home, Burt Hummel was suddenly nervous. He knew how important this was to Kurt and Blaine, and the last thing he wanted was to make things worse.

Kurt sat in the passenger seat next to him, ringing his hands nervously as he looked out at the house.

"Kurt," Burt said, and his son jumped slightly in his seat.

"Y-yeah?" Kurt replied, voice quieter and more high-pitched than normal.

"I think you should stay in the car while I talk to him."

Kurt opened his mouth to protest, but Burt cut him off. "Look, I know you want to do what you can, but trust me on this, okay? I'll be able to get through to him more if it's just the two of us."

Kurt contemplated for a moment, before letting out an annoyed huff. "Fine," he mumbled. "You're probably right."

Burt patted his son on the shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, before clambering out of the car and making his way to the house. He rang the doorbell, and a few seconds later, Edward Anderson opened the door.

Burt was shocked to see how different the man looked from the first time they'd met, several months previously at his shop. The man who had come into Hummel Tires & Lube had resembled a stone statue in an Armani suit. The man standing before him now was a mess.

His dark, curly hair was sticking out in all directions, and his eyes were red-rimmed – he had obviously been crying. The Armani suit had been replaced with a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, and Burt was reminded of the young, scared boy, who had sat in his lounge and cried over how his father would never understand and how sorry he was for lying. Suddenly, he could really believe that the man standing before him was Blaine's dad.

"Mr Hummel," Edward said, his voice gruff, "I'm a little surprised to see you here."

Burt raised his eyebrows at the man's tone of voice. He certainly didn't sound surprised. He also didn't sound like the confident, stern man who he had been expecting to encounter. His voice was…resigned. Like he really couldn't care less about anything right now.

"Mr Anderson, I think we have a few things to discuss."

"Probably."

"Are you going to let me in?"

"I suppose so. Come in. Please leave your shoes inside the door."

Edward Anderson directed Burt towards the dining room table, but he walked into the next room instead, preferring to sit on the couch in the living room. Edward didn't protest, just left for a few minutes to make Burt a cup of tea (he had a glass of scotch instead), and when he returned, he sat on the opposite couch, as far away from Burt as possible.

There was a minute of awkward silence in which Burt expected Edward to inquire about his visit, but when he didn't, Burt decided to take the lead.

"So, your son and my son, huh?"

Edward raised an eyebrow at Burt directness, but he didn't seem too phased as he took a sip of his drink. "How long have you known?"

"Long enough."

"You should have told me."

"Blaine asked me not to."

Edward sighed, draining his glass and reaching forward to place it on the coffee table in front of him.

"Mr Hummel, what is the purpose of this visit?"

"You need to accept your son."

Edward scoffed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "My wife thinks so, too."

"You should listen to her."

There was a long pause while Edward just sat there, brow furrowed, staring out of the large living room window at the night sky. Burt thought that he was about to speak a couple of times, but each time he just shut his mouth again, continuing to look the stars.

Finally, he broke the silence, his voice barely a whisper. "Don't you love your son?"

Burt frowned in confusion, his voice hardening. "Of course I do. I love him more than anything, that's why I'm here."

"But aren't you scared?"

"Scared of what?"

"That he'll get hurt. For being…for being gay. That's what happens to gay kids, haven't you been watching the news or reading the papers? They end up dead. One way or another."

Burt's eyes widened in shock. He had not been expecting the conversation to go in this direction.

"If…if that's what you're worried about, Mr Anderson, you're focusing on a very small minority here. The papers don't tell you about all the gay kids who go on to lead long, happy lives."

"I can't risk it."

"You can't expect Blaine to be unhappy for the rest of his life just because you're scared."

Edward turned to face him then, his face contorted in grief. The expression on the man's face was so gut-wrenching that Burt felt his hands shaking slightly around his cup of tea.

"I had a brother," Edward said finally, and Burt had a feeling that this brother was the start of a very important story.

"His name was Daniel," Edward continued. "He was in his senior year of high school when I was a freshman. He was the most popular guy in school, but…he wasn't like most popular kids these days, who basically fight their way to the top of the heap. He was popular because people liked him. He was handsome, of course, and he was the captain of the Football team, and he could sing, and he would help kids who got lost on their first day of school. He was a straight-A student, and he had a beautiful girlfriend…he was pretty much perfect, and I looked up to him so much. He was the best brother I could have asked for."

"Daniel's best friend was called Jack. He was a junior, and he was nowhere near as popular as Daniel was. He was like, this really shy kid who never seemed to talk to anybody other than Daniel. If he wasn't Daniel's best friend, he definitely would have been bullied – he still was, a little bit, but his connection to the most popular guy in school saved him from the worst of it."

"One day, I came home from school and Jack's shoes were inside the door, so I figured he must be up in Daniel's room hanging out like they did most days after school. So I headed up there because I needed Daniel to help me with my math homework. The music was on really loud, and I knocked, but they obviously couldn't hear me inside, so I just opened the door."

Burt felt his stomach sinking. He knew what was coming next, and he wasn't sure he really wanted to hear what happened afterwards.

"They were kissing," Edward continued. "Properly kissing, on the bed, jackets gone and shirts half unbuttoned. It was a few seconds before they noticed I was there, and they immediately stopped and completely panicked. Daniel dragged me into the room and made me swear that I wouldn't tell anyone, and Jack was crying, and I was just…confused. I'd heard of homosexuality before, but at that time, it was such a rare and taboo thing, I'd never given it much serious thought. But later that night, once I had been sworn to secrecy and Jack was long gone, I lay in bed and thought long and hard about it. And I found that I didn't really care that my brother liked other boys. Why should it matter who he loved? He was still my amazing, wonderful older brother. So I went down the hall to his room, and I crawled into the bed next to him, and I told him that. And he hugged me so tightly I could hardly breathe. Then he just cried until we both fell asleep."

"Everything was fine for several months after that. Jack continued to come over, and I gave them their space. I never told anybody. But one day, Daniel came home from school looking terrified. He told me that some football players had cornered Jack during school to steal his lunch money, and they'd found a love note in his bag that Daniel had given him. It wasn't signed with his name, but it was clear from some of the things it said that it had been written by a boy."

"The gossip spread like wildfire. The next day at school, everyone knew about Jack. Daniel refused to stop hanging out with him in public, despite the accusations that were thrown their way. By the end of the day, he wasn't the most popular guy in school anymore, because he chose to associate with a fag. Despite Daniel's loss of status, however, Jack was the prime target of the abuse. Daniel tried his best to stop it, but it was no use. One day, he was waiting outside the school to meet Jack before class, as he always did. But Jack never showed. He didn't show the next day, either. The day after that, they found his body in the river."

Burt inhaled sharply, his heart clenching painfully out of sympathy for the two boys. The thought of something like that happening to either Kurt or Blaine made his eyes well up with tears, and he surreptitiously tried to wipe them on his sleeve as Edward continued to speak.

"Multiple broken bones, a fractured skull, and three stab wounds to the chest piercing two of his vital organs. They never found out who did it."

"Daniel spent the next week in bed, crying and refusing to eat. Our parents thought he was just sad about losing his best friend. I was the only one who knew the truth. I would sneak into his room ever night and hold him as he cried, and it would make me cry too, because I'd never seen anyone so broken before. It was as if the life had been completely sucked out of him, and in a way, I guess it had. It wasn't just losing Jack, it was the fact that it was his note that had made it happen. One night he said to me, 'I shouldn't have loved him. It was selfish of me, to have loved him'."

"A few days later, I came home from school and went up to Daniel's room to see how he was doing. I knocked, but there was no answer – just silence. I figured he must be asleep, but I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. So I opened the door to check on him, and he was hanging from the rafters."

Edward's voice broke, and he took a minute to compose himself. By this point silent tears were streaming down Burt's face. Edward wasn't crying, but Burt knew he had already shed endless tears for his brother's life. After losing Elizabeth, Burt knew what it was like to deal with pain. At first, it is so crippling that you can barely function. It feels like your heart is being torn from your chest, and all you can do is cry and scream and just try anything – anything – that might let some of the hurt out. It never works. Time does that thing it does where it just keeps passing, despite the fact that the world as you know it has come to a standstill. Eventually, the tears stop coming, and you start to numb the pain. It doesn't hurt any less, it just hurts differently. It allows you to put up a brave face and get on with your life, even though that hollow ache remains – and always will.

"He left a short note for my parents," Edward continued. "All it said was that it wasn't their fault, and he was sorry. No explanation. But I found a separate note under my pillow that night as I lay in bed, sobbing and feeling sick to my stomach."

With that, Edward got up and walked out of the room. He returned a moment later clutching a piece of paper that had been unfolded and re-folded so many times it was now held together with tape. Burt opened it and began to read.

Dear Eddy,

I am so, so sorry to leave you behind.

You truly are the best little brother I could have asked for. I wish I could have been more like you – smarter, braver. Maybe then he would still be alive.

Please don't let my actions ruin your life. You have a whole life ahead of you – a good life. You should find a girl and get married and have beautiful children. When you do, tell them I died in a car accident. I don't want people to know how much of a coward I was.

You are so lucky, that you will never have to live with the curse I was born with. Please don't forget how lucky you are. And I know I have no right to ask this of you, but please don't forget me. Remember my mistakes, and learn from them, but also remember the good things – that I was good at sports, that I was smart, that I loved strawberry ice-cream. That sort of thing. That's what I want to matter, in the end.

You have no idea how much it means to me that at least one person in this world knew everything about me – all of me, entirely – and still loved me. I want to thank you for that, Eddy.

I love you. Be good. Don't smoke, it's bad for you. And help mom do the dishes.

Your brother, Daniel

P.S. Please take care of Jack's little sister Amy when she starts high school next year. Now that Jack's gone, I just know that they'll try to take it out on her. You always had a way of making people feel better just by being there, which is yet another thing I have to thank you for.

Burt handed the letter back to Edward once he was done reading, swallowing the lump in his throat.

At that point, Edward chuckled, a sound of true happiness, and Burt looked up at him in surprise.

"And that's how I met my wife. Bet you didn't think this story would have a bittersweet ending, huh?"

Burt's jaw dropped. "Amy?"

"Yep."

"Does she know?"

"Why do you think she put up with me all this time?"

Burt sat back in his chair, and Edward let out a long sigh of relief. "So now you know. Maybe now you can understand."

Burt looked up at the man with wide eyes, and shook his head. "That was a long time ago. Times have changed."

Edward snorted. "I thought so too, until I sat by my son's bedside in the hospital a couple of years ago. He went to a school dance with a boy and they were both beaten half to death. The fuckers would have finished the job too, if they hadn't been afraid of getting caught."

Burt took a deep breath. He hadn't known about that. He was going to have to try a different approach.

"Mr Anderson, has Blaine told you about his plans to move to New York with Kurt next year?"

He nodded.

"And do you know that New York recently legalized gay marriage?"

"I do."

"This is Ohio. The world is a huge, huge place. Blaine and Kurt aren't going to stay here forever. They're going to see the world. They're going to go to New York, where they'll be able to hold hands in public and feel safe, and they'll get to meet other couples like them and maybe do some activist work to help other kids who aren't coping so good. And then eventually they'll get married, and you'll be there with your wife and your other son, and I'll be there with the rest of my family. And all their friends from school who love them and accept them will travel all that way, so that they can see their friends finally commit to spending the rest of their lives together. And they'll adopt beautiful babies, and raise them up in a world hopefully much less hateful than the one we were born into. And when that happens, don't you want to be there to see your grandchildren? Don't you want to look down at their faces and know that no matter who they turn out to be, they'll be safe and loved? Don't you think that's what Daniel would have wanted?"

By this point, Edward was openly sobbing, his head held in his hands and his shoulders shaking. Burt got to his feet and sat next to the other man, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Forget your fears, for a minute. Forget everyone else. What is it that you want the most, for Blaine?" Burt asked.

Edward sniffled and responded so quietly that Burt could barely hear him. "I want him to be happy."

Burt nodded, his lips quirking up in a tiny smile. "I think you know what you need to do."

Kurt was growing increasingly agitated as he sat in the car, messing around with his iPhone apps. It had been over half an hour and his dad still hadn't returned.

He glanced towards the Anderson's house every few seconds, and finally, his dad left the house and walked hurriedly to the car. Kurt tensed in his seat.

"Well?" He asked, as his dad opened the door and flopped into his seat with a long sigh.

He turned to Kurt and smiled. It was a strange smile – happy, but with a tinge of sadness behind it. "I think everything's going to be just fine," he said, and started the car.

Edward Anderson picked up the phone with trembling hands, and quickly dialled the number. His wife answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"I love you," he said immediately. He heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.

"I love you too," she said. "Is that all you called to say?"

"No. I talked to Burt Hummel tonight. He came over, and we just started talking, and everything just came out, all of it…and, God, you were right, Amy. You were right all this time, I'm so sorry. Daniel would have been ashamed of me."

There was a long pause before she responded, her voice trembling. "He would never have been ashamed of you."

"Will you come home, please? With Blaine? I need my family back."

"Do you mean that?"

"I really, really do."