15th of March, 2016.

Kurt had found it hard to sleep the previous night; he had laid in his bed and wished that that stupid letter pinned to his notice board would just STOP LOOKING AT IT!

He tossed and turned in his bed, just wishing that his eyes would close and send him to sleep. He even decided to play the 'Wicked' soundtrack through his headphones in an attempt to lull himself to sleep.

Once that had eventually worked, he had an awful sleep; he had dreams of what the letter might say. He had pictured so many different outcomes, from 'I'm so sorry' to 'I can't do this' to 'I wish I never met you'. The last one hurt Kurt the most; he most certainly did not want that, he would never want Blaine to hate him. He woke up several times during the night just wanting to open that letter, but he knew he had to wait, Blaine had said that date for a reason, so Kurt would wait. It made him so mad, but tomorrow, he would finally open it.

On the 15th, Kurt Hummel woke up, stretched himself and got out of bed. He grabbed his red blanket that matched the interior of his room perfectly, and wrapped it around him; then he walked over to the letter's location and stared at it. After a few minutes of looking at it, he un-pinned it and took it through to the living room with him, then placed it on their kitchenette table.

He went to go and make his daily morning coffee. Rachel had made her way from her bedroom, so Kurt had also made her a coffee, deciding that he wasn't sure on whether he wanted to eat or not (as he wasn't sure if he was going to puke or not); he hadn't started breakfast.

He sat down at the table as Rachel did the same. Kurt picked up the letter and started playing with it, really unsure of how he felt about it.

'It's today… isn't it?' Rachel said. She surely had noticed that he was on edge about it, because she placed her hand on top of his as she saw him shaking a little.

Kurt just nodded in response.

'Are you going to open it?' she asked hesitantly.

Kurt took a few moments to think about it. Did he really want to know the content of the letter? Blaine had written it years ago, how was Kurt supposed to know that whatever it said still stood? What if Blaine had no intentions of Kurt reading it anymore and that it was just a way to make him feel better, what if Blaine had forgotten he had written it?

'No', he breathed out, his voice scratchy and horse.

'WHAT ?' Rachel snapped, 'You mean you're not going to find out what it says, after all this time?

'I said no Rachel, I can't.' Kurt shoved the letter away and got up before walking to the couch and flopping himself down.

'Wow, I really didn't think 'Can't' was in Kurt Hummel's vocabulary.'

Kurt narrowed his eyes at the petit girl sitting across from him. He really didn't need this.

'He deserves it' she said in a small voice, that Kurt was unsure if he had heard her right.

'HE does not deserve it,' Kurt choked out. 'He left me…remember?'

'Yes Kurt, I do, but are you really just going to throw it away? You have been hanging onto this since the day he gave it to you and you know it !'

'What if it never meant anything to him… What he wrote… It was years ago… He probably just felt sorry for me, you know how he always tried to make people feel like they are worth something, even if truly, he didn't mean a word of it.' Kurt knew this was a lie, Blaine would never do that.

'Yeah, but you have to remember that he TRIED Kurt, he would do anything for anyone, and the only thing he asked of you, was to open this. Blaine has never done anything he wasn't truly set on and you know that Kurt,' she said handing Kurt back the letter. 'Open it,' she pretty much ordered.

He had it in his hands again, debating on whether or not he should. He eventually decided Rachel was right; he at least owed that to Blaine.

He nodded at her. 'Okay.'

'It will be okay y'know, whatever happens, I'm here,' she said, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Kurt began to lift up the sealed part of the envelope, and carefully pulled the letter out. Before he could even unfold it, he could see Blaine's scroll through the paper, and Kurt smiled, remembering how much he loved how neat of a writer Blaine had always been.

He began to read…

Dearest Kurt,

Happy five years. I don't know what that means to you, but I can tell you now that it still means as much to me now, as it did that first day we kissed. I still love you Kurt, I'm pretty sure I always will.

I don't know where you are in the world right now, but Kurt, I hope to god that you're happy, as I'm sure you are. I hope all of your dreams came true and that by now, you're some big star on Broadway, just like we used to talk about all the time. Because you deserve it, so much, and if nobody has noticed your talents yet, then they are oblivious and blind, you are AMAZING, don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

I want to first say, that I'm sorry.

You don't know how much I miss you, I'm pretty sure that even now to this exact day, I still miss you, even after all of those years. You are my best friend Kurt, you make me smile, laugh and even cry. But I know that that is because I love you, I love you so much.

I know you, and I know that you'll be wanting more of an explanation of what happened. Let me tell you, what I'm about to write, you are not going to like it, Kurt. But please, read it.

It started about two months ago. I was in school at my locker and Sebastian came up to me. What he was doing at McKinley, I have no idea, but he once again tried to tell me that you weren't right for me, to which of course I shot him down, because you are. He then took me to an empty class room and beat me up, and this has been going on ever since. He told me that if I didn't break up with you, he would kill you Kurt, and I couldn't ever risk your life like that, that's why I did it. I did it to keep you safe, I promise this has nothing to do with you because I know that that's what you've been thinking.

I want you to trust my instinct on this, and please realise that there was nothing I could do. I'm not asking for your forgiveness, but I hope you can see that.

You deserve the world, Kurt, you deserve all of the happiness it brings to you. I hope you've moved on, that you're with some nice guy, living in a great apartment, maybe with a little cat, and that you get everything you ask for. You have been through so much crap over the years that now it's finally time to look back on your old life and laugh at it in the face.

Just always remember that I love you, you are the only one I have ever loved and always will.

Yours always,

Blaine.

Kurt was now crying, and shaking violently. He had no idea how to process all of this, he started to order it all.

Blaine loved him, still did.

He wanted Kurt to be happy, which to a certain extent, Kurt was, but he was lonely.

Sebastian was an utter dick. Kurt decided that he was absolutely furious, he was sure if he ever saw that bastard again he would rip his head off. How dare he try and come between him and Blaine? How dare he succeed in that? Because he had, he had successfully broken them up. Kurt just wanted the horse toothed piece of shit out of his life, he was so sick of him. He was still furious about all the times Sebastian had attempted this in high school, but even more so now that he knew he had managed it.

Kurt still loved Blaine. He was sure of that now, his previous doubts had now been affirmed and Kurt was still in love with him. The fact he had actually listened to Sebastian made him want to shake Blaine to see sense, but apart from that…

Kurt felt Rachel pull him into a hug, and he realised that he had been standing there staring at the letter for the past 20 minutes or so.

Wordlessly, Kurt handed Rachel the letter and watched how her facial expression changed from 'Aw he's the cutest !' to 'I'm going to rip that asshole's head off !' in a matter of seconds. Once she had finished reading it, she handed it back to Kurt, who was still staring off, to nowhere in particular.

'Well… I was not expecting that,' she said finally finding something to say.

'Tell me about it.'

'Do you think he still does... love you I mean?'

'Rachel, how can I answer that? I don't know, he wrote that years ago. He could have changed his mind. For all I know, he could be a serial killer now.'

'I doubt Blaine Anderson is a serial killer, Kurt.'

'Yeah well, life is just full of surprises, isn't it?' he said almost bitterly, he was still raging at Sebastian. How dare he.

'Why so snappy?'

Kurt just looked at Rachel. His look told her exactly what he felt currently, that he wanted to kill Sebastian, he hated him.

'You still love him, don't you?' she said looking at the pale boy, who had turned even paler, because of the context of conversationin. He looked at her, thinking for a while.

'I do,' he replied.

'So what are you going to do?'

'I don't know, I have no idea. He could be anywhere, for all I know he could be dead.'

'Don't say that,' she said, seeing that Kurt had now started crying.

'What, he could be ! But I can't do anything even if he is alive.'

Rachel thought for a second, clocks slowing turning in her head.

'Kurt, what if he's in trouble ?'

'What do you mean?'

'Like what if he's in real trouble, with Sebastian ?'

'Wait, you don't think that he's with him, do you?'

'I don't know, I mean he did say Sebastian made him do this, and you know how Sebastian wanted Blaine years ago !'

'Well, yeah, but, surely he would never start dating him?'

'What if Sebastian is… hurting him, Kurt?' Rachel didn't want to frighten Kurt, but she wanted to put possible scenarios into his head so he was able to think straight. Only that would make sense to Kurt and Rachel, he knew what she was doing and was thankful for this, even if she was a little crazy.

They stood in silence for a few minutes.

'I need him back Rachel, I can't sit here and pretend that I don't need him because I do. I love him. I couldn't live with myself knowing that if Sebastian is hurting him, I could do something to stop it, and I didn't.'

'So what are you going to do?' she asked again, only this time, she knew he had an answer.

'I have to find out where he is,' Kurt said as he walked to his laptop and booted it up, intending on trying to find some sort of contact with Blaine. But to Kurt's dismay, his laptop had decided today of all days to break.

Kurt broke down crying, he didn't need technology breaking on him now !

'Kurt, c'mon, you can go to the library, I'm sure their computers are not against you.'

'Rachel, you are a genius! Thank you!' he said kissing her on the cheek.

He headed to the door and pulled on his navy blue pea coat and scarf, and headed down to the library.

On his travels, Kurt had ended up in his mad world again, the world that was Sebastian-less and boy was that a happier place.

The streets of New York were exceptionally busy today, there were people everywhere.

It took a bump from one of the passers by to pull Kurt out of his bubble.

'I'm so sorr-' Kurt said, turning around to apologize to whoever it was he bumped into.

Kurt's eyes went wide.

'B-Blaine?'

'Kurt,' the curly haired boy answered.

Don't hate me! I will update as soon as possible! :)

I may have cried writing that letter, don't judge!

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