They hold each other, filling the morning with gentle touches and a profound and sheltering silence. It isn’t waiting, there’s nothing missing. They fill the spaces between them and around them with hope, with faith in a future together, in the idea of rebuilding what’s been damaged.  As light floods the room, they slip into sleep, fingers and legs tangled. For the first time in months, Blaine finally feels really and truly at rest; the nagging worry that’s been hanging over him is gone, leaving behind only exhaustion and relief.

Blaine wakes to the sound of Kurt singing in the shower. Kurt sounds happy and there is something very familiar and comforting about the whole scene. His phone signals an alert on the table next to his head- a text from Jan asking if everything is alright. Rolling over, Blaine finds himself surrounded by Kurt’s smell, smiling a little. There is a part of him that is still reeling, still wondering if they’ve made a mistake, taking off their rings. A part of him that feels tender and bruised, realizing how deeply Kurt’s actions had damaged their relationship, how horribly he’s managed to mangle what was left.

His thumb hovers over the screen, intending to text back. He’s thinking about Kurt and the promises he’s made all along, to try harder, to move on. The way he’s been waiting for some magical…thing…to happen, some moment when he’ll just feel better and everything between them will be ok. That’s not happening, he knows this now.  He opens the pictures stored on his phone, smiling ruefully. He’d said he’d delete them when this was over, as if over was this place, a line in the sand that he could cross over definitively and forever. Blaine doesn’t know when this will really be over, when they’ll well and truly be past this. For now though, he feels like they’ve taken their first real steps, and that’s enough.

It’s enough, enough to have him steeling himself, breathless and tense, as he deletes the pictures. They are nothing more than moments in a past he doesn’t want to relive any more than he wants to recall the moments after the Sadie Hawkin’s dance or the day in the movie theater when some homophobe had dumped a soda all over him and Kurt. Right now, all that matters is their future, and these pictures don’t have any place there.

Kurt comes in, still humming a little, then smiling a bit more when he sees Blaine is awake.  Blaine motions him over to the bed with a hand, and curious, Kurt comes to sit next to him, still wrapped in a damp towel. For a moment, Blaine lets himself be distracted by the droplets of water chasing his skin in the early afternoon sunshine, wanting to trace the rivulets left behind with his fingers, then his tongue.

“Hey.” Kurt nudges him with a shoulder, wondering what Blaine is staring at him so hard for, what he is thinking.

“Hey,” Blaine tugs on Kurt’s arm, laying back, pulling Kurt with him to that they lie face to face on their bed.

“Blaine, I’m all wet and this towel is too.” Kurt protests weakly, already settling in next to Blaine, hands folded under his face on the pillow. Blaine just looks at him, taking in Kurt’s shower fresh face, so young with his hair plastered all over the place. He runs his fingers through the clumps, wanting to feel the heat of Kurt’s skin, the vibrations of his pulse underneath, alive and present and his.

“When’s your audition?” He asks quietly. His eyes are on Kurt’s, seeing them widen and then blink slowly.

“I- I’m not” Kurt stammers.

“No.” Blaine speaks emphatically, looking deep into Kurt’s eyes, hand gentle against the side of his face.  “We’re not doing that. When is your audition?”

“Tuesday…but Blaine, really, maybe its better if-“

“If what?” Blaine interrupts,, “If you just give up the things you love for me? If you just stop doing what makes you, you, just because I’m a neurotic mess?” Kurt is shaking his head, taking Blaine’s hand off the side of his face.

“No. You aren’t a neurotic mess, at all. I made a mistake, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to fix it.” Blaine’s lips part a little and he sighs, leaning in to press them to Kurt’s cheeck.

“It shouldn’t take this. Kurt, I want us to find a way to be ok, and if you start changing for me, keep changing for me..it’s just…it won’t work.”  Blaine’s hands are cupping Kurt’s face, fingers almost bruising along Kurt’s jaw as he wiggles closer, “I don’t want anyone but you. You the way you are, or were. I might get mad. Or jealous, or irrational. But I know better now, enough to say what’s going on when I’m feeling it. Enough to know that we’ll never get that trust back if we both don’t meet halfway. You can’t keep doing all of it, chasing me and changing and turning yourself inside out. I don’t want you to, I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like that was what I wanted.”

Kurt’s tears spill over Blaine’s fingers, and for a moment he just breathes, eyes closed, leaning into the head of Blaine’s body.

“I want you to go out with your friends again, and to try out for that musical, and to do all the things and say all the things Kurt Hummel would any day, any time, without worrying that you’ll make me mad.”  Kurt’s forehead against his lips is moving slightly as he nods.

“I might get mad, or upset, but it’s ok. I’m not going to leave you, and we’ll work through it. I’m not leaving Kurt.” He shakes Kurt’s head a little, and Kurt looks into his eyes, “I’m not leaving.” His words are sure and emphatic.

When they kiss, it is everything this moment means- soft and tender, an exchange of self and trust. Everything they do, every movement and breath is careful and measured. They don’t hurry, taking time to watch each other, to listen carefully to exclamations and pleas. When Blaine pulls Kurt toward him and over him, eyes wide and fingers trembling, he doesn’t need to ask for anything.

And then Kurt is inside him, finally inside him, for the first time in months. Blaine’s body shakes, tremors of pleasure and fear and tremendous love firing through him. He’s gasping into Kurt’s open mouth, feeling Kurt’s tears falling onto his face, fingers in his hair, gasping and breathing him in and breathing them in and thinking, finally. Finally, as if some invisible tether that’s been keeping them separate is coming lose, Kurt losing himself inside Blaine, each feeling the pulse of life and blood where they are most connected.

It isn’t the end, he thinks later, staring at his phone from the safe circle of Kurt’s arms, wrapped around him where Kurt was is nestled up against his back. It’s a beginning.