Blaine was in an almost dreamy state as he returned to his dorm room. His thoughts were all up in the air, unable to concentrate on anything but baby.  Then, as he arrived and finally took of his blazer and looked again at the file Doctor Fraser had given him the reality began to sink in.

What if Kurt didn’t want the baby?

What if Kurt thought he was a freak for being able to get pregnant?

What if Kurt left him?

These thoughts wouldn’t stop spinning around Blaine’s head as he sank down to the bed. The only thing he knew for sure was that he wouldn’t be able to face this on his own. Blaine could barely get his head around it now. The next seven months alone would kill him, walking around every day with the knowledge Kurt didn’t want him or the life they created together would be there to remind him every time he looked down to his tummy.

Then raising the baby, the child, a whole new person depending on him completely for its entire lifetime, the little life not even creating a visible protrusion in his stomach right now would soon be a person as big as him. That thought alone was terrifying. He was only just turned seventeen, only a junior, sometime in May he would have a baby.

Blaine curled up into a ball in the centre of his bed and promptly fell asleep. His nausea exhausted his body so much that even with his mind racing he quickly fell asleep.

The baby boy in his arms was the picture of Kurt, tiny and porcelain, almost to be mistaken for a doll were it not for the warmth Blaine could feel radiating from his tiny body as he wriggled gently, blue eyes as round as sources. Blaine’s heart grew as he watched the little baby, filled with love for the child. But soon the spell was broken as it began to cry and scream and writhe and Blaine could feel the tears welling in his own eyes as he tried to calm the crying baby but nothing could stop it as his head began to ache and there was a ringing in his ears…

Blaine blinked rapidly, wiping away the tears but the ringing didn’t stop as he looked around, finding himself back in his dorm room at Dalton. Eventually his brain caught up and reached for his ringing phone that had awoken him. “Hello?” Blaine mumbled tiredly. “Blaine, are you okay, you still sound terrible, not that I mean it in a bad way, you know, you just sound ill, anyway, yeah, I was just wondering if the Nurse rang you back with your blood test results, I’ve been worrying all day!” Kurt rambled out after giving Blaine barely enough time for his quick “hello”. But Blaine’s brain went straight into overdrive, all the worries of the minutes before he fell asleep returned in full force instantly …what if Kurt left him?

“Sorry Kurt, can’t talk right now, Wes scheduled an emergency Warbler practice, I’ll call you back later, love you, bye.” With that Blaine ended the call and flopped back onto the bed, hands covering his face as tears silently began to streak down his pale cheeks.

Blaine wasn’t sure why he had so quickly lied and hung up. Actually, that was a lie; he knew exactly why he did it. Blaine was so wholly terrified of what Kurt would say that he didn’t even want to talk about it. Blaine had never doubted his boyfriend before so he just couldn’t get his head around why he was starting to now. Some sane corner of his mind was shouting and screaming at him to trust Kurt because Kurt had never given Blaine reason not to at any point but that sanity couldn’t break through the intense fear that was overtaking his mind. Worry was clouding any judgment Blaine held and all he wanted to do was to sleep forever as his body trembled uncontrollably, falling back into an uneasy sleep.

This time when Blaine awoke it wasn’t by the shrill tone of his ringing phone but rather to find his room in darkness and the gentle hum of students roaming the corridor, heading to the canteen for dinner. Blaine certainly didn’t feel like eating nor could he get back to sleep even after changing into sleep pants and shirt out of his school uniform. Blaine sighed heavily, remembering he needed to contact Kurt after hanging up so suddenly, but he couldn’t deal with it yet so he simply sent a text saying he was exhausted after Warbler practice so was getting an early night and that his blood test had been clear.

Lying to Kurt hurt more than Blaine could ever have imagined, but what else was he to do? Blaine wanted to hold onto his boyfriend for as long as he could, knowing the end would come as soon as Blaine told him the news, knowing he couldn’t keep it a secret forever as he would soon start to show.

A text message filled with relief and understanding (and maybe a hint of disbelief, though any traces of that were pushed quickly to the back of Blaine’s mind) came moments later and Blaine gave up trying to get his head to slow down and think rationally, instead he lay wide awake for most of the night in fear.

For the next week Blaine barely managed to avoid Kurt; afraid of being around him because he couldn’t lie to his boyfriends face, nor could he stand telling him the truth. So it was easier this way, but in the end it felt like Blaine had already lost his Kurt as he feared would happen if he told the news. Having spent the week telling Kurt he was trying to relax and sleep as much as possible as advised by Nurse Keller to relieve his stress, by the end of the week Blaine knew he couldn’t hide any longer. He may have tried to sleep as much as possible that wasn’t a lie, but in reality Blaine had gained little sleep and the nausea certainly didn’t seem to be letting up any time soon so on Friday he knew this was it. A week of pretending was enough for Blaine. He couldn’t keep this to himself, he felt as though he were to explode were he to keep such a massive thing to himself any longer, it was driving him mad. Blaine needed to tell Kurt, he deserved to know, and no matter the situation Kurt had always been his rock, his shoulder to cry on, and even if he took it badly just as Blaine feared he would then at least it was a weight of his shoulders and then it would be up to Kurt if he wanted anything to do with his child’s life.

With shaking hands Blaine dialled the first number on his speed dial, he had never been so nervous to make a phone call to Kurt in his life. “H-H-Hey Kurt.”

“Oh Blaine, it’s so great to hear your voice! I’ve missed you so much this week, and I’ve been so worried! I know you said your bloods came back clear but you know me I still worry and needed to know you were getting over it-“

Blaine let out a huff of a laugh and couldn’t help the warmth that spread through him at the sound of Kurt’s voice. No matter the fact Blaine knew this would be the end he still basked in Kurt’s voice that would put a smile on his face no matter what. It was Kurt’s little quirks that Blaine loved the most, for instance right now he was babbling away since they hadn’t seen each other all week. It was those little things that made Blaine feel loved, and it was those things he would always remember when Kurt left him, and would tell their child of as they grew up; Blaine would always tell him/her how amazing their Daddy Kurt was.

“Shall we meet at the Lima Bean tomorrow?” Blaine asked timidly as Kurt finished his spiel.

“Of course Blaine, you know how much I’ve missed you and my Dad always lets me off helping him in the garage because he knows we don’t get much time together, in fact, by Saturday Finn is usually happy to cover for me since he’s had enough of Rachel...” Kurt laughed, clearly relived that Blaine was feeling up to their coffee date.

Blaine was happy to just listen to Kurt, not having to add much to the conversation yet still feel present. His mind wandered, allowing himself in a day dream to imagine Kurt being a Father. He would worry over their child just as he had been doing Blaine recently, he would always make sure they were the best dressed, and would make them feel just as loved as he had done Blaine in the almost year they had been together.

But none of that was going to happen, not with Blaine anyway. Kurt would leave Blaine to raise their child on his own, and so he should. With a child Kurt would never be able to live out his New York dreams; whether it be in fashion or on stage, as Kurt had expressed a deep love for both career paths. Blaine never wanted to be the one holding Kurt back from the amazing things he was sure to accomplish in the future. Plus Blaine was some freaky mutant and Kurt deserved someone as perfect as himself. One day Kurt would meet someone just as perfect and talented as he was and they would be happy together and maybe one day adopt or even use a surrogate and Blaine’s son or daughter would have a half-brother or half-sister and Blaine would wonder if he or she shared any traits with his own child who would be in grade school by then but would never know that their Daddy Kurt was the famous Kurt Hummel.