Chapter Five

Thursday was bad. Really bad.

Kurt didn't see Blaine until lunch, and when he did, he immediately found himself second guessing his belief that Blaine being sick had been some sort of lie.

Blaine's face was drawn, his skin sallow and pale, eyes dull and marred by dark shadows underneath. Every action seemed to take a momentous effort, exhaustion seeping from every pore. He really didn't look well. A fact that each and every member of glee club kept pointing out. Repeatedly. All day.

It really didn't add to Blaine's mood, which was a direct contrast from the relatively upbeat texts Kurt had been receiving.

And so, by the time Kurt did manage to corner Blaine, he just didn't have the heart to properly confront him. Especially because when Blaine wasn't preoccupied with staying awake, he was actually acting quite hostile towards anyone who displayed even the smallest hint of concern for him. Kurt didn't want to give Blaine an excuse to push him away, when he was pretty sure the only reason Blaine was still upright by the end of school was because he was using Kurt as a prop.

Kurt remembered scanning the parking lot for Cooper. He remembered turning to Blaine in confusion, trying to work out how to ask a question without getting his head bitten off, when Blaine had mumbled something quietly, in the same, horrible, listless voice he had used all day.

And the first piece slotted into place.

Cooper was gone. Cooper was back in New York, had been since last Monday night, although why Kurt still didn't know. The person who had been waiting for Blaine was his mother.

Kurt didn't meet her that day. Blaine was too quick to avoid talking, too quick to run away.

But if Thursday had been bad, Friday was infinitely worse. Blaine was worse.

At first, Kurt was hopeful. Blaine had smiled softly when they met at their lockers, and he seemed slightly more alert. Things seemed better, as if Blaine was getting over what virus he'd had.

But now, Kurt knew, it wasn't a virus. There was no getting over it. The day Blaine got over it would be the day Kurt could sense emotions.

"Hey, Blaine, you in here?" Kurt called, poking his head into the empty choir room. Blaine had been absent at the lockers when the bell for lunch had rung, and Kurt knew better than to look for him in the cafeteria. "Blaine? Blaine, what's wrong?"

Blaine was sitting curled up on a pair of the hard plastics chairs, legs folded into his body, phone held loosely in his fingers. He stared at it, looking completely lost and alone. The only indication that he had heard Kurt's question was a tiny shake of his head.

Tentatively, Kurt, perched on the edge of the chair Blaine was using for his feet, and rested a gentle hand on Blaine's knee. "Blaine, please. I'm worried about you."

Blaine bit his lip, swallowing thickly, eyes shining a little too brightly. "It's so stupid." He choked, "I'm being stupid."

Kurt shook his head. "Will you talk to me about it? I might be able to help?"

Blaine offered a half shrug, turning his phone over and over in twitchy hands. "My mom's got to work late. She can't get out of it. I have to..." His voice cracked, and there was a definite hysterical edge to it. "I have to get the bus home I guess. Or... I don't know... walking might be better. I just, I miss Cooper, so much. And it's not her fault, I know she has to work, and I made Cooper promise not to tell her about last week at your competition, but I just, I just can't..."

Kurt's stomach twisted, "Hey. Hey, it's okay, I'll give you a ride home, you don't have to get the bus."

Blaine looked up wildly, his eyes shimmering with a kaleidoscope of emotions. "You don't... I mean you don't need..."

"Don't be silly, Blaine. I do. And when you're feeling better – when you're not having a bad day and a crappier week, maybe you'll think about letting me in, and we can talk about what's been going on with you?" Kurt didn't know where his words were coming from. He didn't want to give Blaine time; he didn't want to take a step back, to be the mature one.

But he had to.

Blaine let out a shuddering breath, as if an iron band had snapped from around his chest, and a weight was lifted. "Thank you."

00000

Okay, so Kurt was starting to seriously think that Cooper had a point about that cat. She was creepy.

The drive to Blaine's house had been relatively quiet, free from their usual easy chatter. Blaine's head had kept drooping, falling to rest against the window, eyes lidded with sleep. Kurt had let him be; anything to help remove those horrible dark shadows from under his eyes.

When he had pulled up, Blaine had sat there simply staring up at the lifeless house and empty drive. He had looked... he had actually looked scared. There had been something deep in that look, something that spoke of more than simply going back to a parentless house when he wasn't feeling very well.

So when Blaine had tentatively invited him in, Kurt had said yes immediately, even though he knew he had to be back home at a decent time for Friday Night Dinner.

And that was when Kurt had become reacquainted with Molly.

She had just been sitting. Waiting on the third step of the hall staircase, tail twitching, staring at the door as they entered.

Still, what Kurt found creepy, Blaine clearly found comforting, because the other boy immediately went over to her, scooping her up and holding her close. To the creepy cat's credit, she was completely pliable in his arms, just letting Blaine take comfort from her. Already, Kurt could see a little of the tension drain away from Blaine.

"I want to tell you the truth."

Blaine's voice made Kurt jump. He couldn't keep the surprise from his face, but he smiled warmly in a way he hoped was reassuring. "Okay. Did you want to go up to your room?"

Blaine nodded, leading the way. His feet seemed to drag, as if he was dreading the coming conversation. It gave Kurt a little time to dwell over Blaine's choice of words, and in doing so he found that he really didn't like to dwell. It gave his imagination way too much scope.

Kurt waited for Blaine to settle on the bed, Molly still held close to his chest like some kind of furry shield. Deciding to give Blaine some space, Kurt made himself comfortable on the desk chair.

Silence swallowed them whole. Even Molly didn't make a noise. But Kurt was determined to let Blaine be the one to speak first.

The waiting paid off, but as soon as Blaine spoke Kurt found himself immediately wishing for the ignorant silence.

"I have an ES level of 4.8." The other boy's voice was flat, void of emotion, and wasn't that ironic.

Blaine might as well have punched Kurt, he doubted it would have felt much different.

Kurt's jaw worked, mouth moving without sound as his brain desperately tried to process what it was Blaine was trying to tell him. "H-how...?" Kurt wasn't even sure he knew what question he had tried to ask. There were too many, all of them sticking in his throat, dying on his leaden tongue.

"What?" Blaine voice was suddenly bitter, angry, his mouth twisted. But there was fear there too, Kurt could tell. A fear bred from an inability to guess what Kurt was thinking, a need to be defensive. "What were you going to ask? Go, on, you know you want to. Which one was it? How long until I'm dead, or just how long until I go crazy?"

Kurt flinched, throat burning and eyes stinging with tears he desperately willed not to fall. "N-no... I just... Blaine..." Blaine didn't look at him, his entire body curled defensively against Kurt's reaction, clinging to Molly as if she was the only thing keeping him together. "Can... can I sit on the bed?"

Blaine shrugged, wiping his sleeve viciously against his cheek. Molly's eyes followed Kurt intently as he rose and slowly moved to sit down next to Blaine.

The silence finally overcame the other boy. "You're... you're the first person outside my family to know since... a long time. Please... please don't freak out. I need you to not freak out. I need you to still be you. I need you to still see me... not some charity case with broken genetics and an expiry date..."

"Don't talk about yourself like that Blaine, it's not funny." Kurt rebuked him quietly, slowly wrapping his arms around Blaine, giving him every chance to pull away if he wanted to. "You're not broken. And... I think I'm freaking out slightly, but more in a shocked kind of way. I thought you were like me, but just not as extreme..."

Blaine blinked, twisting in Kurt's arms, "What do you mean?"

"Well, seeing as we're sharing digits here..." Kurt smiled softly as his words managed to pull a slight blush to Blaine's cheeks. It was a very personal thing, to know someone's exact level of Sensitivity. "My ES level is 0.5. I figured, you know, seeing as you can touch me without freaking out over my black hole of emotionless doom... God, Blaine, I never guessed you... Brittany's up there on the scale, probably the highest at McKinley and even she must only be 3.5 or something. The one time she touched my skin... I think my eardrums nearly burst she screamed so loudly."

Blaine stared at Kurt incredulously, a myriad of conflicting emotions passing across his face, until he stuttered, "I didn't... I thought..." He bit his lip, cutting off his words, ducking his head. "You don't make me want to scream."

Kurt couldn't stop the laugh the bubbled in his chest. "I'm glad." He squeezed Blaine's arm, and the smaller boy finally relaxed into Kurt's hug.

"I'm not normally this crazy, you know. This week's just been... really bad... Coop wasn't meant to go back to New York till next week." Blaine murmured.

"I don't think you're crazy Blaine. And I'm glad you told me. I... I'm not gonna lie, I don't know much about this stuff, but I'm here, I'm not going to run away. And I won't tell anyone at school, I promise, not if you don't want me to." Kurt's forced his voice to be calm, forced his voice not to shake. He might not know much about this, true, but he did know the weight of what Blaine was telling him. Of what it meant. And he was terrified for his friend, and for himself, because what if he screwed up? What if he did something wrong?

They sat together, for how long, Kurt wasn't entirely sure. It was clear that Blaine had used up whatever energy he had been running on to get home from school, as his body leant further into Kurt's. "You've got dinner with your dad..." Blaine mumbled tiredly, jerking his head up slightly as the thought came to him.

"I said I'd stay with you until your parents get home. I don't want to leave you alone right now."

Blaine bristled, "I'm fine-"

"Blaine." Kurt cut him off smartly. "When you're feeling better, we can talk about what this all means, but be honest with me right now; do you actually want me to leave or are you just trying to be polite?"

Blaine pulled back enough to look Kurt in the eyes. The look he gave Kurt made the other boy's chest hurt. Why should Blaine be so surprised at his reaction? Why should he look so thankful? Kurt was his friend, of course he was worried. Kurt wasn't sure he wanted to know what the root of Blaine's look was...

And then a pair of arms was flung tightly around his neck, Molly making a disgruntled noise as she was dislodged. A great shudder ran through Blaine's body, as if his words were raw and new in his throat. "Stay? Please?"

And that was that. Kurt wasn't turning away now. Not that he would have even considered it anyway. Still, as he lay on Blaine's bed, staring up at the ceiling with his best friend napping against his side, he couldn't help but let his thoughts drown him. Too many thoughts.

Blaine's ES level... it was unthinkable. Kurt knew what it meant. Not in the sense of what Blaine went through every day, but he knew what it meant. Kurt's Sensitivity was rare, and horrible...

But it wasn't a sentence of torture and death.

Unbidden, a high profile news story from the previous year crept into his head. A baby girl, born in Australia with an ES level of 5.7, the highest level ever recorded. Unlike when he and Blaine were younger, there were actual tests for a baby's levels to properly prepare parents. Kurt had been diagnosed pretty early on because his was so low, but he knew the higher ranges were harder to recognise.

The baby had died before she was even a week old. The stress of such a high level of Sensitivity had been more than her system could handle.

The same was true for anyone born with a level of over 5, although life expectancy varied; the Australian case had been unprecedented. Blaine's level... it was horrible to think it, but Kurt couldn't understand how the boy was still sane. How could he live, every day, drowning in everyone's emotions? It must have gotten worse when Blaine grew to a teenager, and he was sixteen now...

Kurt's arms unconsciously tightened around Blaine's sleeping form.

He couldn't lose him. He wouldn't. He was Kurt's best friend... he was... he was more than that. At least, Kurt wanted him to be.

But there was still that creeping voice, words of ice that crawled over his skin.

Blaine would be lucky to live past twenty-five. And he knew it.

TBC