Chapter 33

Blaine was gone.

It was the first thing Kurt registered when he opened his eyes, and the immediate panic that swamped him banished any restfulness he had gained from sleep.

He rocketed upright, fighting against the too-tight sheets binding him. He would have fallen out of bed if it hadn't been for the strong hands pressing against his chest.

"Kurt, Kurt, calm down it's okay, you're okay," his dad wrestled with his flailing arms, voice soothing.

"Where's Blaine? Where have they taken him?" Kurt cried urgently, refusing to let himself be placated.

"It's okay, Blaine's fine. The doc's just taken him for some more tests. I'm sure he'll be back soon," Burt said calmly.

"No, no I promised I wouldn't leave him!" Panic clawed cold at Kurt's rib cage, erratic adrenaline fuelling his struggles against his dad.

"Kurt!" Burt said sharply, "Look at me. Look at me. Would I lie to you? Blaine will be back soon. I promise this isn't a trick."

With his dad's soothing voice, Kurt began to feel his heart slow, and found himself nodding as he forced himself to sit back against the pillows. "I just, I thought..."

"I know what you thought," Burt sighed. "You're not the only Hummel with a problem with these places. Now, will you stay put if I sit down again? Or are you going to run away again?"

Kurt blushed, the barbs of guilt in his stomach suddenly coming back full force. He looked down at his hands, taking a breath before looking up to once again meet his father's gaze.

He might not be able to sense anyone's emotions other than Blaine's, but he didn't need any extra sense to be able to read his dad's eyes. He never had.

Sadness, pride, worry, stress... they blended into a mixture that reminded Kurt just how much he had hurt his dad over the last week.

Burt sighed, "I just wish you would have trusted me more, Kurt. Why didn't you come to me with Blaine's letters? We've had our differences in the past, but I always thought we did pretty well overall. We used to talk." Burt reached over and took Kurt's hands in his own. They were rough and warm, and Kurt felt his throat close as he tried not to cry. "I know why you did what you did. You've always been a bit look-before-you-leap. But, god, Kurt... have you any idea how terrified I was for you, and Blaine?"

"Dad..." Kurt said brokenly, anything to stop the pain in his father's voice.

Burt shook his head, "Forget the fact my son broke the law, dragging his brother and friends into it to boot. Forget the police, the Dalton teachers, the experts all saying how we shouldn't expect to find Blaine alive. Because screw that, I never believed that for a second. I was more scared of what would happen if the wrong person found you boys. There was a god damn witch hunt going on in this town, in the whole of Ohio! And all it would have taken would have been the wrong person to find you boys first, and all-" Burt broke himself off, his voice cracking as he tried to compose himself, "And all we would have gotten back would have been your bloody body, and Blaine too far gone to care."

Kurt shook, tears running freely down his face as his dad's words brought the horrible might-have-been to his mind. "I'm so sorry Dad..."

His words broke, chest constricting, and his body heaved with sobs that had been waiting to be released for so long, tangled dark emotions that he had tried to hold in for Blaine's sake flooding him. And then the bed dipped, and his dad was right there, taking Kurt in his arms and making everything okay again. Kurt clung on, willing his dad to make everything better, just like he always did.

When Kurt pulled back, he said, "I just wanted to help Blaine. I never meant to hurt you. I just... panicked. I didn't think, and I'm so sorry I scared you."

Burt smiled softly, clasping Kurt's shoulder, "I know you are, Kurt. And despite everything, I am so proud of what you've done for Blaine, of how strong you've been. But how about you let me be the parent for once, and look after you?"

Kurt nodded jerkily, "I love you, Dad."

"Love you too, buddy." Burt pulled Kurt back for another hug, and then asked, "So, do you feel up to more visitors? Carole and Finn are in the waiting room, and I know they'd both love to see you. Your whole damn glee club were out there as well, but I sent them home an hour ago. A lot of people have been worried about you boys."

Kurt blinked, overwhelmed. "What time is it?" The little double room they had been given the night before was bright with filtered sunlight.

"Nearly midday, you slept for about twelve hours."

"But what about the garage? Saturday is the busiest day," Kurt said guiltily.

"Kurt. You're my son, and in hospital. I've got better places to be than the shop. Besides, one of the perks of being the owner is I get to decide when I go in, and the guys are fine without me," Burt rolled his eyes fondly. "I'll be back in a moment."

Kurt only had a minute to gather himself before his Finn came bursting into the room, followed closely by his dad and step-mom, as well as Cooper Anderson. Carole surprised him by sweeping down and giving Kurt the tightest hug she could, and then when she pulled away, Finn scrunched his face oddly and grasped Kurt's hand warmly for a full five seconds before retreating, "It's good to see you bro."

Kurt was overwhelmed. He loved his family, but Finn was like everyone else at McKinley and usually avoided his touch like the plague. And Carole, while she'd been making a determined effort of touches since she had married his dad, was still on the higher end of average on the scale, and had never tried to hug him before. Until now, the only hugs he had ever received in his life had been from his mom, his dad, and Blaine.

Cooper grabbed a few more chairs, smiling at Kurt's unasked question, "Dad's with Blaine, and Mom's gone home to grab him some clothes. Figured I'd stick it out here if you guys didn't mind. You had me worried as much as Blaine."

"We're so glad you're okay Kurt," Carole smiled warmly, leaning into Burt where they sat.

"Yeah, dude, seriously, it has been mental." And then Kurt found himself subjected to the enthusiastic retelling of the last week as seen through his brother's eyes, from Rachel's enjoyment at the 'acting challenge' covering for them had provided her, to Tina and Sam projecting so strongly at a group of teens in the Lima Bean that the nasty gossipers had burst into floods of tears, and of how Brittany had confused everyone for a good twenty four hours with her claim that Lord Tubbington had seen both boys heading for the Mexican border.

Somewhere in the middle of Finn's account of how Santana had nearly bodily attacked one of the sense agents, Blaine was returned in a wheelchair pushed by Dr Monroe, accompanied by his dad.

Blaine smiled tiredly, but assuaged any of Kurt's immediate fears that he might have gotten worse as he levered himself out of the chair, perching on the edge of his own bed, "Your turn."

Dr Monroe nodded, smiling reassuring at Kurt, "It's nothing scary. I just need to take some scans, a few blood samples. Pretty standard stuff. Your dad can come with you if you like."

Kurt looked to his dad, who nodded without needing to be asked, turning to his wife, "Why don't you and Finn go home for a bit, grab some lunch?"

"Sure, I'll come back this afternoon with some of Kurt's stuff. God knows you wouldn't know where to start." Carole kissed Burt, smiling fondly at him before looking at Kurt, "We'll be back soon sweetheart."

"See you later Kurt," Finn grinned.

"Bye," Kurt gave them a tiny wave as they left, before swinging out of bed. He walked over to Blaine without asking permission from the doctor, and tried not to think about how both their dads and Blaine's brother were still in the room.

Blaine grinned, looping his arms around Kurt's shoulders and kissing his lips briefly, filling Kurt with calm, "It's not that bad really. The MRI machine makes a horrible noise, but it's not any worse than Rachel's complaining and you've dealt with that for long enough without going crazy."

"Come on you, back into bed," John sighed exasperatedly.

"And you, in the chair," Burt gestured at Kurt.

"I can walk!" Kurt said indignantly.

"Hospital policy, especially for wayward teenagers," Dr Monroe said sweetly, before turning to John. "Someone will be back in a moment to fit Blaine's cannula."

"Wait, what? What's wrong?" Kurt demanded.

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand comfortingly, "It's fine, it's just a little tube in the back of my hand. My blood sugar is still too low, so they want to connect me to an IV. Nothing to worry about."

Kurt took a breath, taking strength from Blaine's nonchalance. For a moment, Finn's stories had helped him forget why they were here.

"Then I'll see you when I get back," Kurt smiled, forcing himself to let go of Blaine's hand. The sooner he had these stupid tests, the sooner this might all be over.

00000

"Okay, Kurt, just hold your head still for a second for me?" The nurse smiled reassuringly as he placed a strange headset to sit over Kurt's hair, and began fixing the little metal discs at spaced intervals over Kurt's head. "There we go, all set."

"Thanks Tom," Dr Monroe said from where she was fitting a similar headset on Blaine. "Could you make sure the camera is set up okay for me please?"

"Starting to feel a little bit like a lab rat here..." Kurt quipped, trying to offset his nerves with humour.

Dr Monroe smiled, "I know it all looks very sci-fi, Kurt, but an EEG is very simple." She attached the last disc to Blaine's head, "These electrodes are going to allow us to monitor your and Blaine's brain activity in real time. Any time either of you want to take a break, or stop entirely, just say the word."

"Camera's all ready to go and recording," Tom gave the thumbs up. Burt and John had agreed for the boys to be filmed to ensure the results couldn't be challenged. For the moment, the authorities had taken a step back in deference to the hospital and ultimately Dr Monroe, but that could always change. It had been five days now since they had been admitted, and Kurt for one was sick of the tests.

"Great. For the record, I am Doctor Fiona Monroe, with Nurse Tom Winters behind the camera. The two patients are Blaine Devon Anderson, aged 16, registered with ES 4.8, and Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, aged 17, registered with ES 0.5. Kurt will be shown Visual Card Set A23 and B65, and Blaine will be shown Visual Card Set A45 and B09." She rattled off the facts so blandly that Kurt's stomach twisted even more. "Okay boys, I'm going to raise the divide curtain. Kurt, we're going to start with you."

Kurt stole one last glance at Blaine before the doctor drew a curtain divide between their two chairs. She then sat down in front of him, pulling some large cards out of an envelope, "Are you ready?"

"Sure, why not." Kurt forced himself to relax.

"Okay, starting with test A, no contact. Kurt, just let yourself react to the pictures. And Blaine, when and if you feel anything from Kurt, just say what you feel."

For the first few cards, Kurt was too tense to feel anything other claustrophobia and discomfort. But then Blaine's voice floated from the other side of the divide. "Kurt, relax. Seriously..." His voice sounded amused, and Kurt felt his tension leak a little bit.

And then Blaine started just saying random words, sometimes a little before Kurt himself even registered what he was feeling.

A piano – "Joy."

An elementary school – "Loneliness."

A roast chicken – "Happy sadness?"

A doctor – "Distrust."

A cop – "Anger."

A picture of his dad – "Safety."

After about thirty cards, Dr Monroe paused. "Okay, great, now see that slit in the curtain? Reach through it and hold hands. We're moving onto test B, contact."

The results of that one were much the same, except this time at the back of Kurt's mind there was a constant echo of Blaine's peaceful concentration, and a slight shadow of Kurt's own feelings floating back at him.

"That was the last card. Do you boys want a break, or shall we keep going?" Dr Monroe asked.

They were still holding hands, and Kurt knew it was his itching desire to get out of the stupid thing on his head that prompted Blaine to say, "Nope, we're good."

Dr Monroe threw Blaine a look, but her eyes sparkled, "We haven't started your test yet, Blaine."

"Sorry," Blaine chirped. Kurt suppressed a giggle. He knew for a fact Blaine wasn't sorry at all.

"Alright, Blaine your turn. Test A, no contact. Please let go of each other's hands. Kurt, by now you should have an idea of what we're looking for. Just remember there are no right or wrong answers." And then she disappeared to sit on Blaine's side of the curtain.

There was nothing. Kurt wasn't especially surprised. He had sensed Blaine twice now without contact, but those had been special cases. Sometimes, if he really thought about it, he was pretty sure he knew Blaine was there, but that could also be wishful thinking.

Fear-powerless-lost-selfhatred-terror- "Blaine! What the hell did you just show him?" Kurt yelped as a boiling pot of nasty emotions arrowed through his body and he instinctively reached out to the other boy.

There was a lead-weight pause. Kurt was vaguely aware of the nurse behind the camera staring at him in utter shock. And then Dr Monroe's voice came from behind the divide, too-neutral, "Kurt, if you just felt something from Blaine, please describe it."

"He's scared, of whatever you showed him, but also of himself. He feels out of control, like no one's on his side..." Kurt trailed off, voice choking. "Can we take a break? Please, I..."

"Of course, Kurt." As soon the words were out of her mouth, Kurt was up out of the chair, shoving the divide out of his way. The stupid wires attached to his head trailed after him, catching slightly. "Kurt, careful!"

Kurt ignored her, grabbing Blaine's hands, "Are you okay? What was that?"

Through the contact, Kurt felt whatever had shaken that response out of Blaine recede slightly. His boyfriend smiled comfortingly, but it was there was an edge to it. "Sorry I scared you. It was a picture of one of Dalton's sense teachers. I guess it's all still kinda fresh in my mind."

Kurt huffed, squeezing Blaine's hands, "You're not going back there, and I am always on your side."

Blaine nodded, and Kurt felt their shared love sparking between them. "I know you are. You okay to keep going? These things are getting itchy."

"Sure," Kurt laughed at Blaine's adorably scrunched nose, impulsively placed a delicate kiss there before straightening.

Dr Monroe was looking at them both with an unreadable expression. "Alright, Kurt if you sit back down, I think we'll move onto test B, contact."

Kurt nodded, taking Blaine's hand through the divide and closing his eyes, letting his attention focus entirely on his boyfriend. The warm hand in his fitted perfectly as ever, and Kurt felt the lingering tension from the last card wash away.

A tickling flicker of gold, and Kurt smiled, "Something funny."

Pinpricks of sparks running up his arm, "Excited."

Dimming stars swallowed in a blanket of dark sky, "Sorrow."

Ribbons of skittering light on still water, "Nervous."

Kurt let himself drift, floating under an ever changing sky, saying aloud the emotions he read in the stars.

And then the sky exploded in a breathtaking galaxy that was all Blaine, every hope, every dream, every wish.

Kurt smiled, and even though it wasn't part of the test, he pushed back the same to Blaine, a mirrored starscape lighting fire to deep blue waters.

"Love."

TBC