A thumb brushed lightly across his closed eyelid, a fingertip traced reverently along his jaw. Kurt surfaced from sleep slowly, awareness creeping over him as his senses awoke. The tiny touches continued, tracing the contours of his face, absorbing, recording every detail. For a moment, Kurt was content to lie there. He didn't want to make any sudden move and break the precious spell.

Unconsciously, he sighed, the hypnotic fingertips creating a sense of contentment that had been sorely missing from his life of late. The touches paused immediately, but did not retract, and Kurt knew that he had to open his eyes.

Blaine was lying opposite him, eyes fixed wide on Kurt's face, biting his lip in a horrible picture of guilt and nerves. The only comfort Kurt could take was that Blaine seemed slightly less tired, his face starkly lit in the yellow light of the flashlight Kurt must have left on by accident. Carefully, too terrified he might spook the other boy, Kurt smiled against Blaine's fingertips, "Good morning."

Blaine blinked, once, twice, and Kurt desperately wished that he knew what Blaine was thinking. "Hi," Blaine mumbled, his voice a shadow of what it normally was. He retracted his hands, curling them tightly inwards under his chin, knuckles pressed securely into his collar bone. Kurt immediately missed their warmth. "Sorry."

Kurt frowned, dropping his voice to match Blaine's whisper, "For what?" Blaine shrugged awkwardly, averting his eyes. For a moment, Kurt was torn, feeling entirely out of his depth. No. This is Blaine. Following a split second's deliberation, Kurt slowly reached forward to gently cup his chin, forcing Blaine to look at him again. "Hey. For what?"

"Everything." The word was so lost and empty as it fell from Blaine's lips, and it made Kurt's heart shatter all over again.

"None of this is your fault, Blaine," Kurt said firmly, swallowing harshly as he forced himself to deal with the touch issue now. The sooner they did, the sooner they could work on getting Blaine better. "I should never have abandoned you. I love you Blaine, I always have. I should have said it right from the start; I should never have lied to you. I thought I was protecting you, but really I was protecting myself. I've never felt like this before, and after I left... it was like I never would again. You're my world, Blaine, and I hope that one day you'll forgive me for letting my doubts get the better of me."

A tiny frown had grown on Blaine's brow has Kurt continued to speak, his curled hands flexing where he kept them tight to his body. Carefully, he pulled back out of Kurt's reach, legs drawing up to his body as his eyes broke contact. He didn't say anything, instead staring absently at fixed point on Kurt's chest.

Kurt wanted to cry. "Blaine? Blaine, baby, please look at me..."

Blaine didn't move, all clarity gone from his gaze as he withdrew further into himself, away from Kurt's words and cracked confession of love. Kurt couldn't bear the overwhelming pressure in his chest any more. He had to get up, he had to do something. He sat up, swallowing the burning tears that swelled in his throat. Carefully and methodically, he began to sort through the duffel bag Puck had prepared, setting out the candles on some candlesticks he found in a prop bin. He made sure to place them far out of the way, and dragged one of the school's fire extinguishers to an easy to reach place. He wasn't going to risk something happening, and with Blaine in the state he was... well, it was better to be safe.

Kurt was just figuring out which flavour of energy bar looked less disgusting and a likely breakfast option for them both when a sudden presence at his shoulder made him jump. Kurt knew he should turn, but didn't want to look. He didn't want to look into those gorgeous amber eyes only to get lost in the empty nothingness.

But then he saw a hand creep into his peripheral vision, carefully, oh so carefully reaching across until their fingers brushed. Kurt watched, spellbound, as those fingers he knew so well traced over his knuckles, caressing the back of his hand as each finger drew a precise path before moving around to his palm, shadowing an action from so, so long ago, before either of them knew who they had found.

A thumb brush against Kurt's cheek, catching a tear he hadn't even realised was there.

"I can't feel you." Blaine's voice was soft, almost broken, but it was also tinged with something else... a spark of miserable life that had been until now lost in a chasm of drugs and loneliness. "I want to know that you're real, but I can't... I don't... my head is so muddled..."

Kurt sniffed, his breath catching in a half-formed sob, "I'm real, Blaine."

"And you l-lo..." Blaine's fingers twitched, muscles spasming as suddenly Kurt's hand was caught in a desperate, iron-tight grip. He forced himself not to wince, instead turning his head to look at Blaine. That same, confused frown was creasing his features, his jaw tense as he tried to work his way free of the fog that was clouding his senses. "You love m-me?"

It was a question, so desolate and shattered, but equally riddled with a desperate, clawing hope. Kurt swallowed, forcing his voice to be steady and sure. "I love you."

Blaine nodded repeatedly, eyes skittering down to rest on their clasped hands as he worried his lip between his teeth, "I love you too." There was no stutter in Blaine's own admission, just a quiet certainty floating as an island in the mire of confusion clouding his head, "But none of this seems real... I don't seem real..."

Kurt reached his free hand up to tentatively cup Blaine's cheek, and this time amber eyes flicked up to meet his own. The other boy didn't pull away, he only stared at Kurt, eyes willing him to make everything better, make everything how it was before Dalton.

Desperate instinct clawed at Kurt, and perhaps if he had been thinking straight, he would have second guessed himself but he was just so exhausted, worn to a thread, body and soul stretched to the point of breaking, and before he could really register what his body was doing, he was closing the gap between them as he pressed his lips to Blaine's.

Blaine made a muffled noise of surprise, and a small part of Kurt wanted to leap back and stutter apologies. But as he started to pull back, Blaine followed, his hand moving from its grip on Kurt's to ghost up his arm. In the end, they only broke contact by an inch, noses still touching as their eyes fell into one another's depths. It seemed as if every time Kurt's eyes connected with Blaine's, there was a little more of his boyfriend looking back, still desperate and terrified, but also here. Blaine leant forward, bumping his forehead into Kurt's, eyes squeezing shut for a beat before opening again to shine with honest trust, "Make me real."

Kurt's heart jerked painfully in his chest, pounding erratically in a rush of blood that flooded his senses. He tenderly reached up, brushing the pad of his thumb against Blaine's temple before following a path to tuck a stray curl behind his ear, "Okay." Kurt pressed a lingering kiss to Blaine's lips, trying not to think about the lack of colour and stars that would normally be so alive when they kissed. He knew what Blaine was asking, but he wouldn't do that. It wouldn't be fair to either of them, not with the state of mind Blaine was in. But he did have another idea. "Let's get you back to bed. I want to get some food into you before anything else, preferably high in sugar."

For a moment he expected Blaine to protest moving, but there was a certain dazed quality returning to his eyes, and Kurt knew that he was starting to lose him again to the remnants of sense suppressants that still lingered in his blood, like poison.

After a surprisingly satisfying breakfast of energy bars and a couple of bananas – Kurt had been as shocked as anyone that Puck's idea of provisions had included fruit – and a heart-pounding trip to the nearest boys' bathroom that had Kurt's paranoia on high alert, Blaine curled up in Kurt's arms for a nap. Kurt was happy to let him. In his later letters, Blaine had mentioned insomnia keeping him up at night. It was one of the symptoms of extreme sense upheaval, as an overwhelming level of emotions begins to severely damage a person's everyday ability to function. It wasn't long after that the letters had mentioned the school nurse prescribing a light sedative. Now that he had seen Blaine, Kurt was of no doubt that the sedative was just the beginning of an ever growing cocktail of drugs Blaine had been given as the doctors tried to keep up with his deterioration. Even if the stronger sense suppressants were still lingering in Blaine's system, Kurt was pretty sure the sedatives would have worn off by now, so he was definitely happy to let Blaine sleep as much as his body naturally wanted to.

Time passed at a strange pace, measured first only by the daylight visible on their bathroom trip, and then by the steady rhythm of Blaine's breathing as he slept. Kurt was itching to look at his phone, but he had switched it off for a reason. An irrational part of his brain whispered that it could be used to trace them, but the more realistic, honest part of him knew it was because he was dreading reading the swathes of texts his dad had no doubt left by now. He hoped Finn was able to put his dad's mind at ease, at least a little bit. He knew Burt would understand why Kurt had acted like he had... but that didn't mean he'd like it.

Blaine rocketed awake in his arms, jolting Kurt out of his reverie and honestly scaring the life out of him. Blaine struggled in Kurt's arms, suddenly kicking and screaming when only a moment ago he had been so peaceful, "Hey, hey Blaine it's okay, sshhh, it's okay, I'm here..."

Words ran like water from Kurt's lips, little thought going behind the placations other than trying to reach Blaine, because the screaming was honestly terrifying him. The other boy twisted in his arms, his eyes seeming to finally focus on his surroundings, "Kurt?" Arms flung around Kurt's neck as Blaine latched onto him, breathing hard. Kurt could feel his heart pounding where their chests pressed together.

His fingers found their way into Blaine's hair, and he stroked the back of his head in what he hoped was a soothing manner, "Yes Blaine, it's me, you're okay Blaine, I'm right here..."

It took a while, but finally Blaine's breathing seemed to calm down, and he settled into a more relaxed hug as Kurt's arms remained solid around him. "You were gone..."

Kurt pushed Blaine back slightly so they could look at each other, "I'm right here, honey. I didn't go anywhere; you just had a nightmare."

Blaine shook his head. "It wasn't a nightmare. I was waking up, but you were gone." He swallowed harshly, blinking rapidly. "You're still gone, except, now I can see that you're here as well."

"I'm right here Blaine, I promise. It's just the suppressants, but they'll wear off. I guess it's just taking a little longer, you know, with me being so low down the scale. I bet if my dad walked in right now you'd sense him straight away." Kurt smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way, even though inside he was privately terrified that this might be permanent. The fact that they had been able to sense each other... it had been an anomaly. What if Blaine was never able to feel him again? What if the drugs had damaged something long term? For a fleeting moment Kurt was glad that Blaine couldn't sense his internal fear in that moment, and then he just felt infinitely worse.

Blaine somehow pulled a weak smile onto his face, "If your dad walked in right now, me being able to sense him would be the least off our concerns. He'd probably murder the pair of us."

The humour was poor at best, but there was the tiniest of sparks that came with it, the smallest piece of the old Blaine. Kurt couldn't help but laugh, drawing Blaine into a kiss as he enjoyed his boyfriend's increasingly lucid periods.

Maybe... just maybe they would be able to do this...

Kurt pulled back, his idea from earlier solidifying in his mind. Blaine frowned, his eyes tracking the delicate movements of Kurt's nimble fingers as he began to unbutton his shirt. "What are you doing?"

Kurt smiled warmly, lovingly, letting his eyes settle confidently on Blaine as he threw his shirt to one side, the cool air of the auditorium prickling over his bare chest. Gently, he reached over to tug at Blaine's t-shirt, giving the other boy plenty of time to stop him if he wished, but he didn't. Kurt's heart tugged at the slight shadow of Blaine's ribs, stretched over by golden skin. While he wasn't yet dangerously underweight, he had definitely lost too much in his short time at Dalton. No wonder they had been talking about moving Blaine to an intensive care facility; they had been running out of options.

Well, they didn't have Kurt. If anything, the sheer trust that shone from Blaine's eyes had been enough to solidify Kurt's belief that he had done the right thing.

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice was hushed, his hand reaching out to take Kurt's.

Kurt pulled his boyfriend forward and into his lap, Blaine's legs settling either side of him. There was a thrill of electricity running underneath his skin, but it was tempered by a calm purpose. He took Blaine's head in his hands, "I'm going to prove that you're real."

Blaine frowned in confusion, but Kurt kissed it away. He began to mirror Blaine's actions from earlier, tracing his fingers in patterns that would map the entirety of Blaine's torso, alternating gentle touches with the light brush of his lips. Blaine's body became pliant in his hands, and time began to bleed into itself. Kurt didn't even notice at first when Blaine began to trace intricate pathways across his own pale skin in return. Kurt kissed a line down Blaine's neck, his nails creating feather light spirals over Blaine's shoulder blade, before he settled to kiss the base of his throat with an open mouth, letting himself swim in the languid passion that crested over every nerve-ending.

Blaine gasped softly, his head thrown back for a moment before he pressed forward, bringing their chests skin-to-skin as Blaine's finger ran down the length of Kurt's spine in a line of stars. Kurt arched, his hands dropping to Blaine's waist, thumbs running down the edges of his hips until they stopped at the band of his pants, before he allowed them to resume their path upwards again.

Gently, Kurt twisted them, rolling their bodies sideways until Blaine was laid out beneath him. Blaine's hands came up to caress Kurt's chest, their skin dappled by pinpricks of candlelight as they became lost in the dark blanket of a false night sky. Kurt dropped his lips to follow the contours of Blaine's closed lids, the creases of his forehead, the bridge of his nose. His own eyes fell shut as he set himself adrift in moment, the scattering of candlelight as a spray of golden stars, awash with familiar, swelling waves of midnight blue.

Blaine's hands came up to caress Kurt's face, and even when he pulled back slightly to open his eyes, Kurt could still feel the waves lapping at his senses as his chest pressed close to Blaine's own beating heart. Blaine was smiling softly, his eyes a bright amber, glittering with overwhelming love. Kurt watched as his throat bobbed as he swallowed, his voice still cracking as he murmured, "There you are..."

Kurt's face broke into a half-sobbing laugh, the waves and stars flooding his senses to the point of too-much. He surged forward to capture Blaine's lips, open-mouthed and desperate. He broke contact only a fraction, just to breathe a whispered reply, an echo of Blaine's words to him, all that time ago. "I've been looking for you forever."

TBC