Chapter Sixteen

Kurt lay against the pillows, fingers absently carding through soft grey fur while his other arm wrapped around his boyfriend's body. His eyes skimmed the length of Blaine's sleeping form, seeing, but not really registering, just comforting himself with the knowledge that Blaine was okay. On their travels, his eyes connected with bright feline irises. Molly was curled up stoically on Blaine's chest, where she had been since they had lain Blaine down.

And how long ago had that been? It was all a blur to Kurt. He remembered Blaine's dad arriving, he remembered refusing to let go of Blaine, just as Blaine refused to let go of him.

Don't you understand we can't, we can't. If we let go, we're lost...

So instead, sitting on the floor of the choir room, John Anderson had taken Blaine through a series of questions, too practiced in their rhythmic recitation. At first, Blaine had just curled into Kurt further, eyes squeezed tight shut, but slowly, ever so slowly, he had begun to unfurl, and answer.

Where are you?

How do you feel?

No, how do you feel, Blaine?

Tell me how you know what you feel.

Where are you?

Who is in this room with you?

Give me a number between one and ten, and tell me the truth, Blaine.

Where are you?

Finally, John had decided that dragging his son to Lima General would do more harm than good, and he didn't feel at that moment that it was warranted the drive to Columbus, although he did plan on calling Blaine's sense doctor just to confirm.

What Blaine needed was sleep, isolation, quiet...

And considering neither teen was planning on letting go of the other any time soon... Kurt came as part of that prescription.

"What do you mean Kurt's with him? As in he's with him now?" Hushed voices floated dimly through the wood of Blaine's bedroom door.

Molly's head turned towards the sound, her tail flicking in agitation. Blaine's brow creased in sleep, and he shifted in Kurt's arms. Immediately, Kurt leaned down, pressing a kiss to smooth over Blaine's forehead. Absently, he started humming a random tune, soft and lulling.

"You mean aside from the fact that kid is probably the only reason our son isn't back in a hospital bed? Because he's Blaine's boyfriend, and Blaine wanted him to stay."

"Blaine doesn't know what he wants! God, John, when are you going to accept that Blaine is getting worse?"

"And when are you going to accept that Blaine needs to be able to live his own life? He was trying to help a friend, despite what he knew it would make him feel, and yes, that probably wasn't the wisest idea, but dammit Emily can't you be proud of Blaine for trying?"

"Not when it ends like today, no!"

Molly meowed plaintively, and Kurt's attention was pulled from the door to Blaine. His boyfriend was awake, dull amber eyes trained listlessly in the direction of the voices as they faded away further into the house. Kurt wasn't sure what to say, the sick feeling in his stomach unquenchable.

"They do that a lot," Blaine murmured, his voice blank of emotion, a yawning void that was so unlike Blaine's normal expressive tone that it physically hurt.

"They love you," Kurt said, "They're scared."

Blaine's eyes flicked to his, stunning in their clarity, "You're scared."

"Yes. Yes, of course I'm scared." Time seemed to have frozen, enveloping them in a tight bubble where everything else seemed to have fallen away, until all that was left was them, and a chance to be truly honest.

"I don't think I can be," Blaine croaked, his voice lost.

"What do you mean?" Kurt couldn't imagine how Blaine had lived with this his entire life, how he could go through ever day, and still be as bright and wonderful as he was.

"I never know if it's me anymore. I don't... how do I know if it's me? When I'm scared, angry, happy... when I want to scream or laugh or cry... when... when... when I'm in love..." Blaine voice choked, "What if none of it's me anymore? What if I'm already gone? How can I be scared, when all that's around me are other people who are just as scared as I want to be?"

Kurt's arms tightened reflexively around Blaine, "You're not gone. You're right here, with me." He let Blaine's words sink in further, "When you're in love?"

Blaine froze, so still it was as if he wasn't breathing. His eyes dropped to Molly, who stared placidly back, "That's the problem," he said finally, "How do I know?"

Kurt's heart pounded in his ears, "I think you just know..."

"But how?" Blaine's voice shook with frustration and tears, "How can I say to you that I love you when I don't even know what I am, what I feel, and what isn't, what else... When I don't even know where I am anymore..."

"I don't know," Kurt replied softly, realising how in that moment, the words I love you too hung heavy on his tongue, balanced precariously on the cusp of being spoken. The knowledge hit him like a knife in the chest, because he was in love with Blaine?

They lay entwined together in silence on Blaine's bed, floating in their bubble of truths and confessions and fears, while the biggest confession of all remained unsaid. Shadows lengthened, and a door slammed somewhere below.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Sam," Blaine broke the silence, his voice much steadier that it had been before.

"I understand," Kurt said, because he really, honestly did.

"I thought I could handle it, I just wanted to be a good friend to him, I wanted to deal with the whole thing like I was normal for once..." Blaine's voice was edged with bitterness. "He knows now, about me. My parents met up with his, and they're gonna help his family out. It's why we were late this morning; Dad was dropping off his brother and sister first."

Kurt bit his lip, not knowing how much Blaine remembered of his freak out earlier in the choir room, "Honey... the others are going to wonder what happened. They're not going to stop until they get to the bottom of it – you saw what they were like with Sam."

"I know. By Monday, the whole school will know I'm a freak... if Mom even lets me go back, that is."

Kurt squeezed Blaine's shoulders, "We still have the weekend. And when it comes to it, we can be freaks together."

Blaine's body suddenly tensed, his hand clenching around Kurt's arm where it lay across his chest next to Molly, "Please don't leave me alone."

Kurt frowned, something in Blaine's voice sounded far more urgent than it should have. Their bubble popped.

A light knock, and Blaine's parents came in... with Kurt's dad...

"Oh, sweetheart, you're awake." Emily Anderson's whole body seemed taut, like a tightrope wire about to snap. John stood back slightly, his eyes drinking in the scene before him; two boys and a cat.

"Hey Blaine, how're you feeling?" Burt's smile was tight, but warm.

Kurt could tell how uncomfortable Blaine felt, as if they were suddenly under a microscope waiting to be studied and noted down, "Better, thanks Mr Hummel."

"Burt has come to take you home Kurt." Emily smiled, but it wasn't Blaine's smile, "It's getting late, and Blaine needs his sleep."

Molly hissed at the exact moment Blaine's nails dug painfully into the back of Kurt's hand. The cat was crouched now, her tail swishing angrily as she lay on top of Blaine facing the intruders.

Kurt didn't know what to do. Blaine had known, of course he had known, he must have sensed Kurt's dad as soon as he entered the house, and figured out why he was here. So, like every time since before he could remember, Kurt's eyes instinctively sought his father's.

Help. What do I do? What should I do? What is right?

Father and son didn't need an empathic connection; they never had. It didn't matter that Kurt was a void to Burt, it didn't matter that Burt was as unreadable as the rest of the world to Kurt. They could still read each other; the tells, the quirks, the stubbornness, the compassion.

And what Kurt found was trust, and a promise to help, and that gave him courage.

"I want to stay. Please? Can I stay?" Kurt asked, sitting up on one elbow without letting go of Blaine.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Mrs Anderson shook her head, "Besides, your father has come all this way to pick you up, Kurt."

"It's no trouble, really, I was working late at the shop anyway and you were on my way home," Burt put in. Lie, that was a barefaced lie. "Of course, this is your house, and Blaine's your kid, but seems to me that both boys look pretty comfortable, and it's been a tough day for everyone."

"I don't..." Mrs Anderson stuttered, clearly torn.

Her husband stepped in, clearly exasperated that this question was an issue at all, "Why don't we ask Blaine? Blaine? Answer honestly, think about it."

"Please let Kurt stay," the words were out of Blaine's mouth in a garbled rush, vowels tripping over each other to get out fast enough, "Please, I need him to stay, please Mom. He helps, he helps me, don't make him go."

The moment Emily Anderson's resolve broke was practically visible, her voice defeated. "Okay... okay then. I'll see if I can find some other night things for you."

As she disappeared, both fathers turned to their sons. "Thanks Dad," Kurt said seriously.

Blaine's head bobbed in agreement, his relief palpable. "Thank you."

Burt nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow, Kurt."

John glanced between the pair, before walking over to his own son, seemingly oblivious to how Blaine was still wrapped up in Kurt. He scratched Molly's head as he paused there. "Glad to see you're awake, bug." A teasing yet sad smile played on his lips, "And don't worry, Burt, I'll make sure they keep the door open."

The words spiked through Kurt, conjuring confusion and completely threw him for a second. But then Blaine was smiling, albeit weakly, and Kurt recognised the comment as a desperate attempt to bring normalcy to the situation. Because, god, Blaine deserved a little normalcy right now.

"Dad! Seriously?" Blaine actually whined, notes of playfulness that Kurt had sorely missed lighting up his voice.

Mr Anderson just kept smiling that sad smile, "Burt, let me show you out. Boys, you should get ready for bed. I'll bring you up some snacks in a minute."

It was only then that Kurt realised how neither of them had eaten dinner. "Night Dad."

"G'night boys." Burt Hummel nodded to them both, jamming his ball cap back on his head before following Blaine's dad out of the room.

Blaine's body seemed to slump, "You're staying."

"I am," Kurt confirmed. "I'm not leaving, I promise."

Their eyes connected, and the moment held as Kurt leaned forwards to carefully catch Blaine's lips in a warm kiss that spoke of so much more than just a one night promise.

The moment broke when Molly head butted Kurt's hand insistently, but as Blaine laughed at the cat's persistence and his boyfriend's unimpressed face, Kurt couldn't bring himself to be mad. The sound of Blaine laughing was too precious to be wasted, and Kurt intended to capture and savour every moment.

TBC