Chapter Nine

The Columbus Sense Clinic was huge, a large too-chic annex to the main general hospital. Blaine hated it. He hated the clean lines, the attempt to make a calm atmosphere with a lick of white paint and a few chrome accents.

And worst, absolutely worst of all, he hated the divide.

The clinic had three entrances. There was the one for regular check-ups and appointments, where Blaine was directed, one for drop-ins, usually new parents bringing their kids, and the last one, for emergency intake. Of course, the divide was entirely necessary; lead-lined, the walls separating the three distinct areas of the clinic afforded its patients a certain level of control. It shielded young children getting tested from too many people. It isolated patients whose Sensitivity was severely affected by some sort of virus or illness. And it kept regular visitors like Blaine from being overwhelmed.

Or at least, that was the idea.

And sure, it worked. As Blaine sat on the plush leather sofa, he could stare at the wall in front of him and not sense a thing. Just his parents passing time chatting to the friendly receptionist, and the fluttery little nurse doing some paperwork behind the desk. No one else. No indication of what was going on elsewhere in the clinic. Sure, it was peaceful, but it was also so unknown.

Or rather, what made it worse for Blaine was that it wasn't unknown, not really. Because he had been on the other side of the divide, and not just as a young child getting tested for the first time.

"Hello Blaine!" A door opened to the side, a door that lead to a corridor that lead to the other side of the divide, where people's emotions were screaming and crying and burning and stabbing...

He cut himself off. Stop it. Stop it now.

But he couldn't help it. And with all the things that had happened with Kurt, and school, and life in general... Blaine didn't have the energy to pretend that the Clinic didn't freak him out a little bit. The only plus side about fretting over Kurt was the distraction it had offered him during the long car journey.

Why had he left his phone at home? At least then he would know for certain, at least then he could just cut all ties and hide away again.

"Blaine..." A spark of worry, a crackle of resignation.

Blaine blinked, glancing at his mom, before back to Dr Monroe. She was still smiling, unwavering. He liked her smile. It didn't hide anything, it just was. Of course it probably helped that she had undergone three years of sense training tagged onto her medical degree, but her presence always made these appointments just that little bit less horrible.

"Sorry. Hi." He offered what he hoped was an apologetic, positive smile. He could already tell by Dr Monroe's expression that she wasn't buying anything.

"Alright, shall we go inside?"

Blaine held back, for a second, watching as his parents started to follow his doctor into her office, the same way they had done countless times before. He knew the drill. They would all talk about his progress – or rather, his mom would talk at Dr Monroe for half an hour while his dad gave his occasion input. And then there would be the physical check up, followed by a brief question and answer session with Blaine while his parents sat on, offering their silent presence.

He hadn't planned it. He had no idea why he even opened his mouth, and he wasn't sure where the words were coming from even as the request was tumbling out. All he knew was that this is what he needed. A prickling certainty and, "I want to go in by myself."

Immediate, jarring offence, concern and confusion emulated from his parents and flooded Blaine, nearly sending him to sit back down again. To her credit, his doctor didn't even flinch, although he thought there was a flicker of resigned sadness lingering underneath the sweep of his parents' emotions.

"Is that a good idea?" His mom's response was so predictable it was nearly laughable.

"If that's what Blaine wants." His dad wrapped an arm around his wife, cutting her off before she could put up and proper fight. "We'll wait out here, won't we Emily?"

She wasn't happy, Blaine could feel it. Neither was his dad, but at least he was more comfortable to take a step back when Blaine asked for it.

Blaine avoided his parents' eyes as he trailed after his doctor. He wasn't even sure why he had asked...

"So." Dr Monroe started as she waited for Blaine to sit. Her office was sparse but welcoming; it didn't make a forced attempt to enforce calm. "Is everything okay at home? You've never had a problem with your parents joining us before."

"I d-don't..." Blaine stumbled. Was it wrong? Should they be here?

"Okay Blaine I need you to just take a pause, okay? You're over thinking again."

Blaine did as she asked, sitting down in the armchair across from his doctor. He focussed on the silence, on the gentle wash of calm that Dr Monroe projected subtly into the room to help him. When he felt that he had centred himself, he looked up to meet her patient, attentive gaze. "I just wanted to do this by myself." That was the simplest way of putting it, as far as he could figure out.

She nodded, her blonde hair catching in the afternoon sun as it covered the room in a warm glow. Blaine felt himself relax. He was safe here. "Okay. And why do you think that is? It's perfectly okay, of course. You're an old hand at these little visits, and you're sixteen. It's understandable."

Blaine shrugged, looking down to his hands. "They just worry a lot. I know this is just a normal check-up, just to make sure everything's going okay now I'm back at school, but..." He trailed off, and silence lapsed, but Dr Monroe didn't say anything. She just waited. Calm, warm, lulling... "I messed everything up."

And she didn't deny him. She didn't ignore his claim as exaggeration or teenage angst. She just nodded, "Did you want to talk about it?"

"Will you just repeat everything to Mom and Dad?" Blaine asked dully.

"No, Blaine. I won't. Because you are a minor, I will have to talk to your parents and give them my assessment of your progress. But whatever you tell me, I promise, I will not repeat outside of this room."

And that was all the reassurance Blaine needed to let it all spill out. He repeated everything he had told his dad the day before, and Cooper before he left, and his fears about Dalton and how he was worried his mom thought he was getting worse. He also told her about his new school, about how horrible the first week had been, about how scared he was but also how happy. About the glee club, and how he wished so much that he could join.

And about Kurt, and how Blaine had single-handedly ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him, because he was a freak and that's what he did.

"-and now... now I'm going to have to go back to like it was before Kurt, and I don't know how... I don't know how I can deal with that school without him, without being, being able to touch him... To touch another person who isn't obligated to not freak out because they're related to me!" A flicker of gentle admonition and Blaine groaned, burying his head in his hands. "I know, I know, they're my family and it's not an obligation... But sometimes it's just nice to get a hug from someone who's not related to me without there being a risk of me having a complete meltdown, or them... or them..." He choked. Even after two years, he still couldn't say it out loud.

"There is nothing wrong with wanting that, Blaine. It's perfectly natural, especially at your age. The love of our families is unconditional and always supportive, but often that isn't enough."

Blaine snorted, "Yeah, except I'm not natural."

"Really? I had no idea you were grown in a laboratory. I should update your medical records," Dr Monroe deadpanned.

Her easy dismissal drew a small smile from Blaine's lips. "I just... for one night, I thought that Kurt was okay with me. I thought Kurt understood..."

"Blaine I'm sure it's not like that... You said you barely talked to him this morning. You at least owe it to yourself – and to him – to talk about this face to face." A brush of sympathy, and a twist of curiosity, both blended together in an odd combination that made Blaine's toes itch. "How low exactly is Kurt? Do you know?"

"I don't... it's not my..." Blaine fidgeted. Sure, she was his doctor, but this was Kurt. And even if Kurt hated him now, he wasn't going to spill his ex-best friend's Sensitivity. That was private.

"Okay, I won't push for exact details. Can you at least give me an idea? Below one?" A nod. "A lot below one?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Shouldn't you be weighing me or checking my blood sugar levels or something by now?"

Dr Monroe stared at him hard, for a long time. As sense doctors were trained to manipulate their emotional projections, Blaine had no clue what she was thinking. "Talk to him face to face, Blaine. Please. And yes, we should move onto your actual examination before your parents try to barge in here to rescue you."

The rest of the session passed in relative quiet as Blaine spent his time thinking over his doctor's advice. He allowed himself to be poked and prodded. He let her take blood samples and tut over his slightly below-average weight. And he sat there in uncomfortable muteness while his parents were given a brief rundown of his current state, which was thankfully as positive as he could really hope for under the circumstances.

He was doing okay, although he should eat more. In addition, while she needed to do the blood tests to be sure, she was worried Blaine might be a little anaemic. Still, it was to be expected at this point in his development so there wasn't a great cause for concern just yet. It was important to keep stress low, and to try and increase the regularity of daily physical contact if possible to help with stability. However, there was no reason as yet why Blaine should return to home schooling, and with any luck he would find that he would settle into it, although she would like to see him again in two months. Sooner, if something came up in the blood work.

Blaine had drifted through most of the doctor's spiel. It wasn't like he was a stranger to anything she was saying, and if he zoned out slightly there was less chance of being invaded by his mother's jittery, overwrought emotions.

She was still upset with him for making them both wait outside. She was trying to not project, but she was, and it just made Blaine's stomach twist with even more squirming unpleasantness and unaccountable nerves than it already was.

This mangled ball of iron and steel that took up residence within him didn't disperse after they left the Clinic, or on the too-quiet drive home.

But it did wrench and claw when the car pulled into their street and his mom broke the silence of the car, "Who on earth is that?"

There was a jarring swell of an emotion Blaine struggled to identify. It came from his dad, he knew that much, and it also worked to soften the metal inside him, carefully loosening the knots. "Blaine, I think you have a visitor."

"W-what?" Blaine's head jerked, slightly disorientated by the need to look outwards into the world instead of dwelling inwards.

Kurt. What the... Why was Kurt sitting on the Anderson porch? Why was Kurt standing up as the car pulled into the drive, his outfit wonderfully arranged, his hair as perfect as usual?

This wasn't right. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen.

Blaine hadn't had any time to think of a way to talk to Kurt about everything without it turning into a horribly embarrassing word vomit. He hadn't prepared an explanation. He didn't want this conversation to happen yet! He wasn't ready.

He wasn't ready to say goodbye.

"Good afternoon, Kurt. We weren't expecting to see you." Dad smiled easily and warmly at Kurt. Blaine didn't know what Kurt's face looked like. He was determined to look anywhere but.

"Yeah, sorry to just drop by like this, Mr and Mrs Anderson, but I just wanted to talk to Blaine, if I could?"

"It's nice to meet you, Kurt." Mom's voice was faint, but she collected herself well. Her emotions made Blaine's head spin, too rapid-fire to identify, and too-quickly smoothed over by a breeze of warm welcome from Dad.

"Well don't let us stop you. Why don't you guys go sit out back? It's a pretty nice afternoon for spring."

Blaine nodded dumbly. He couldn't move. Every muscle in his body was tense, a precursor to some sort of primal fight or flight response that was still undecided.

One moment too late, Blaine tried to pull away, because suddenly Kurt was right there, and his hand was slipping neatly into Blaine's own, his skin cool.

Blaine held his breath, waiting for it. Waiting, waiting. Waiting for an ebb of rejection, a swell of hate, a sucking betrayal trying to pull him under...

It never came. Kurt's hand remained in Blaine's, solid, peaceful. Gentle waves of positive emotions lapped at the shores of Blaine's mind, but never washed too far inland. Present, caressing, but never drowning, never flooding. Just there, a welcome presence of Kurt. Calm.

"Hi." There was a soft sadness to Kurt's voice, but the positive outlook never wavered.

"Hi." Blaine managed to mumble quietly.

"Are you going to look at me? Or are we just going to stand here in your drive for the rest of the day? I've already given your neighbours quite a lot to gossip about..." His wry tone drew a tiny smile to Blaine's lips.

"How long have you been waiting?"

"Well, when my best friend casually drops in that he has to go to the freaking doctor's, drops a massive bombshell about being able to sense me, and then refuses to answer his phone all day..." Kurt's tone dropped from sarcastic to slightly sheepish, "Let's just say I might have over reacted slightly. Come on..."

Kurt pulled Blaine gently by the hand, guiding him around the side of the house. Blaine could feel his nerves settle. Kurt was still touching him. Kurt wasn't running away!

"It wasn't anything serious, the doctor's. It was just a long drive. We'd had the appointment booked to check up on me, just to make sure I'm going okay being back at school and stuff..." Blaine felt the need to explain, to fill the quiet, now that he knew Kurt wasn't outright angry at him, "I left my phone at home. I... I freaked out. I thought, I thought after last night that you knew, and when I found out you didn't..."

"What?" Kurt sounded genuinely confused, but then he huffed. "Blaine. I am not having this conversation with the top of your perfectly gelled head. Look at me."

Kurt sat them down on the low step that separated the back patio with the lawn, and Blaine took a few seconds before finally, finally looking at Kurt's beautiful, open face, and connecting with those gorgeous ocean eyes. "I thought you'd freak out... once you knew that I could sense you, I thought you'd freak and yell at me and stop wanting to be near me, or, or worse!"

The hand that slotted loosely in Blaine's gave his a slight squeeze. "And what do you think now?"

Positive. Calm. Here.

"That I can be an idiot?" Blaine offered tentatively.

"Right." Kurt agreed with a smile dancing in his eyes and on his lips. "I'm not going anywhere Blaine. We freaks have to stick together."

"And you're not weirded out? That you're not silent to me?" Blaine had to know, he needed to put his last doubts to rest.

Kurt smiled shyly, "No, Blaine, I'm not, I promise. But... if it's not too weird for you, I... I'd really like you to tell me what it's like... to hear me. To hear everything. You're my best friend, and I want to know you."

Blaine swallowed, a slow blush creeping up his cheeks. He bit his lip, unable to stop the stupid wide grin plastering itself across his face, "O-okay..."

So he told Kurt about the ocean. He told him about the shore, and the waves, and the golden stars that danced on their waters.

And Kurt never let go of his hand.

TBC