“I fe-eel awe-eful!” Kurt sobbed as Sebastian rubbed his back trying to comfort him with whispered “It’s okay’s” and “Shh hunnie, I understand’s”, all while rubbing slow circles on his back over his rumpled white and blue stripped oxford. Even when he worked from home he still couldn’t bare not to look absolutely fabulous. 

            “I’m just not getting any work done,” He continued after calming down. “She just cries all the time.”

            “Hey, come here.” Sebastian said pulling Kurt into his arms, his chin resting on Kurt’s head as he sank down to hug his torso. “You know I’d be here to help everyday if I could. We both knew this was going to be hard, we just might have underestimated it a little. Kurt look at me,” He grabbed under Kurt’s chin, pulling him up to meet his eyes, he placed a soft kiss on his forehead. “I think this is a good idea.”

            “You do?” Sebastian just nodded, placing another kiss on Kurt’s cheek this time. “I just… I feel like I’m not trying hard enough. Maybe if I just try for a couple more weeks, maybe I can work it all out.” He turned to stare out the open door of their bedroom to look through to Rose’s nursery where she was (finally) sleeping. He sighed, he felt like he was giving up. He wanted this so bad. Wanted her so bad, and now that he had her he couldn’t even take care of her like he wanted to. He felt like a failure.

            “Kurt baby, please. You’re tired, why don’t you go to bed and we can talk about this tomorrow.” Kurt slumped back to rest his head on his husband’s shoulder, angling his head to place a small kiss on his neck.

            “Thank you.” Even if he didn’t necessarily like the idea (even if it was his idea originally) it was good to know that Sebastian was on board.

            “No problem. You go get into you PJs and moisturize and I’ll take care of the dishes ok?” Kurt smiled appreciatively.

            “Ok.”

…

The doorbell rang, Kurt slid Rosie into her swing before answering the door. He opened it to find a tall, skinny blonde woman with a bright and eager smile.

            “Hi you must be Nikki.” Kurt said extending his hand, only for his handshake to be turned down. 

            “I’m sorry,” Nikki said as Kurt retracted his hand giving Nikki an awkward smile instead. “I don’t like shaking peoples hands. Too many germs.”

            “Oh ok, well why don’t you come in and have a seat and we can get on with the interview.” He opened the door wider, extending a hand into the apartment in the direction of the living room where he had set up for the interviews. They took their seats and Kurt picked up the notebook he had written the questions he wanted to ask in. He had been looking up different Nanny advice blogs all morning to prepare himself and get some insight on what questions he should ask.

            “So Nikki have you nannied before?”

            “No actually this would be my first time.” She sounded quite confident, which was good, Kurt thought. Confidence was surely key in design, which Kurt learned very quickly after deciding to choose it as his future career just 7 years earlier.

            “Ok, let’s see,” Kurt said reading over the list skipping over the next few questions that would no longer apply to the situation. “Have any experience with infants, any friends with kids, siblings?”

            “No, but I love kids, I just haven’t really had the chance to be around them much. You know with school and work, but I’ve recently quit it just wasn’t the place for me. I think that being a nanny might help me decide to switch my major or not, I’m considering changing it to early childhood education.”

            “Oh well that’s wonderful. I just have a few more questions, mostly just expectations. At $25 an hour I would expect you know all the normal things, playing, feeding, changing, dressing, baths, and putting her to sleep and when she gets older a little light cooking nothing major and just for her. Would you be ok with all of that?”

            “Yes, well except for just one thing. I don’t think that I could change her, I’m not very good with smells or germs.” Kurt laughed in his head, how could you be a nanny and not be able to change a diaper? Obviously not the right person, Kurt thought mentally crossing her name out.

            “Ok, that’s about all I think!” He stood up from the couch, Nikki following him. “I’ll call later and let you know about the position.” Yeah right, he thought.

            “Thank you Mrs. Hummel, it was nice to meet you.”

            “Nice to meet you too Nikki, have a nice day.” He said opening the door and ushering he out. Once she was gone he closed the door leaning against it letting out a long sigh of disappointment. He wondered how many people he would have to interview before he found someone decent.

By the end of the week he had interviewed close to 20 people and was about to give up on the whole stupid idea of getting a nanny all together. None had been right, and he wasn’t going to let any secondhand nanny take care of his little girl. Rosie had just started crying again when the doorbell rang again. Kurt shifted her in his arms so that he could open the door for his next interviewee. The interviewee couldn’t have been much younger than himself. He had a smiled plastered on his face and immediately started to introduce himself only to stop when he noticed Rosie’s crying. “Oh do you mind?” He asked Kurt, pointing at Rosie. It took him a moment but then Kurt understood that he was asking to hold her.

            “Oh um, not at all… “ He let the end linger questioningly as he placed Rosie in the near strangers arms.

            “Oh right, Blaine.” The stranger answered as he bounced Rosie in his arms, smiling down at her making funny faces that are only socially acceptable when there is a baby around. Rosie stopped crying almost immediately. Relief flooded through Kurt’s mind.

            “I think you’re just what I’m looking for Blaine.”