Blaine bounced nervously. Everything was so familiar – he sat at their regular table, their regular orders already there.

He hoped Kurt still had the same coffee order.

Finally, the clock struck ten, and Kurt waltzed through the doors. Blaine was speechless – dumbfounded as he recognised the man that used to haunt every one of his daydreams. But there was nothing there anymore. Sure – he was still hot, but there was no attraction – no desire to be with him. It was weird.

Kurt found Blaine at their table, his eyes flicking over to it almost automatically. His eyes lit up, and Blaine found it. The tired that Rachel had mentioned.

There was a certain deadness behind his eyes that Blaine didn't recognise – a crack in his smile that didn't quite reach his emotions. He'd changed, and he'd aged.

"Kurt!" Blaine stood up to hug him, and it was comfortable.

"You remembered my coffee order?" Kurt quirked an eyebrow, glancing at the coffee.

Blaine laughed. "How could I forget?"

Kurt grinned again, taking a sip and giving him a satisfied smile.

"So…"

"I'm sorry." Blaine blurted, and Kurt's eyes widened. "I'm sorry for leaving you, and I'm sorry for being such an asshole afterwards. I was a dickhead."

Kurt's eyes softened and he had to bite back a laugh. "Blaine…it was seven years ago. Forgive and forget, right? I moved on."

Blaine let out a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I heard about that. Married, hm?"

He beamed. "Yeah. Five years now."

"Congratulations."

Blaine expected this to be weirder – to have awkward tension or to not have anything to talk about – but it just rolled off the tongue, as if they had never left high school.

"What about you?" Kurt asked. "Find anyone special?"

Blaine shook his head. "Nope. I'm married to my work."

"Which is…?"

"Song Writing." Blaine grinned.

"Oh, are you any good?" Kurt asked, grinning.

Blaine grinned proudly. "Four solo albums."

Kurt laughed appreciatively. "Congratulations."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, and Blaine took a sip of his coffee – it had gone cold in their conversation. Kurt seemed to zone out, and Blaine watched him worriedly.

"You okay?"

Kurt frowned, blinking hard and coming back. "I'm drunk." He said softly.

"What?"

"I'm not drunk." He rephrased sadly. "I've been drinking…"

"Kurt, it's only like…eleven."

"I know…" he whispered, his eyes closing.

Blaine reached forward, taking Kurt's hand and rubbing his thumb sympathetically. "Why the alcohol so early?"

"I'm unhappy." He whispered, shaking his head gently. He shook his head. "Want to go get lunch?"

Blaine grinned. "Yeah. Please. Want to come back to my apartment?"

Kurt frowned. "Why do you still have an apartment here?"

"My parents bought it for me when I was in high school – before I left." Blaine supplied, and Kurt nodded.

"Alright then. Can we go now?" Kurt asked, standing already.

Blaine laughed. "You're eager."

"I just…I'm uncomfortable." He said softly.

Blaine just nodded. Kurt had changed in a weird way – he had drawn into himself – he had become scared and constantly cautious, and it saddened Blaine.

"Follow me?"

Kurt grinned. "Always."

Somewhere in Blaine's body, a damaged chord struck and he faltered slightly, old memories being brought back to the forefront of his mind. He tried not to let it show – tried to shake it off, but in that moment, he realised how much he really missed Kurt.

^.^

"How have you been, Blaine…really?"

Blaine couldn't hide anymore. Kurt could see right through him – he was always able to.

"Pretty shit, actually." He confessed. "The albums aren't really picking up…I'm struggling to make ends meet. It's why I'm here – back in Lima…I just…need a break..."

Kurt nodded in understanding as they climbed the stairs to Blaine's apartment. Blaine heaved a little sigh – he wasn't supposed to have revealed that much. He was upset and depressed most of the time – he didn't have anyone in New York friend-wise. He was lonely and struggling, and he needed some familiarity.

They finally reached the top floor and Blaine unlocked his apartment, and they were immediately blinded by light. He had floor to ceiling windows without curtains, and the light flooded in. Pot-plants and hanging flowers decorated the entire living space, with vibrant colours beaming at them from every corner.

Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"I like colours." Blaine offered as an excuse, and Kurt let out a joyful laugh, surprising himself with the sound.

It had been a while since he had been truly happy – he was never happy at home, and he just didn't have time to be with his friends...what friends? They had turned into acquaintances, and it was hurting him.

"So…lunch." Blaine started awkwardly.

"Yeah…um, maybe we could order take-out?"

Blaine grinned. "Good, because I really can't be sure of the contents of my fridge right now. It's been hectic."

Kurt just nodded as Blaine found his phone and some vouchers for the nearest take out place. While he called, Kurt took in the room, spinning slightly and letting the sunlight bathe him. This was a pretty special place.

The flowers were well kept and some of them Kurt didn't recognise – colours that were strange and ones that you didn't find in your garden. He turned again and Blaine was watching him, a small smirk on his face that made Kurt blush.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're just…you're everything like I remember…but you've changed."

Kurt nodded slightly, swallowing hard.

"I tried not to change." He bit his lip. "It was one of the things I tried hardest to keep…if nothing else."

It was a direct attack at Blaine – when he left, Kurt's world fell apart, and Blaine had to look down.

"I'm sorry…"

Kurt shrugged. "Everything turned out for the best anyway. It was…it was fate."

"Fate for us both to be unhappy?" Blaine countered, and Kurt closed his eyes.

"I'm not unhappy…I've just been unhappy."

"For how long?"

Kurt closed his eyes.

"Maybe this was a mistake…I just…maybe we shouldn't see each other." He didn't move.

"No…no, come on…we can do this. We just…need to sort this through and really talk. It's been seven years…there's a lot we haven't covered…"

Kurt nodded easily and picked a couch, plopping down on it and curling up.

The doorbell rang and Blaine answered it, collecting the pizza he ordered and setting it down.

"I have wine or water…" Blaine said softly, checking his cupboard and fridge.

Kurt stifled a laugh. "Wine right now would be really good…"

Blaine hesitated for barely a second before nodding and grabbing two glasses, putting them down and pouring the wine out.

"So why are you unhappy?" Blaine asked gently, and Kurt shook his head.

"It's not important."

Blaine raised an eyebrow and took a bite of pizza so he didn't have to talk.

Kurt sighed. "Nothing is the way I planned."

Blaine swallowed. "How did you plan it?"

Kurt sighed, and went silent for a long time, but it was clear he was going to continue. Blaine waited patiently, sipping at his wine and eating another piece.

"I thought we'd be married." Kurt said at last, giving Blaine a shy look. "I had planned out my life at the end of Senior…I know you had another year, so I was going to NYADA and then you'd come join me. You'd start singing and acting and I'd be on Broadway, and then we'd have kids and be the happiest people in the world…"

Blaine listened sadly, because once upon a time, those were his plans too.

"But life doesn't always go according to plan," Kurt continued, shaking his head. "And I love David."

Blaine sighed heavily.

"What happened to you…?" Kurt finally asked. The question had been playing on his tongue ever since they re-met, but he was scared to know the answer. "Why did you leave…?"

Blaine gave a sigh. He was waiting for this question. "My dad found out about us…and he wasn't too happy. He made us move, because if we weren't together, maybe I wouldn't be gay anymore."

"Did it work?" Kurt asked with wide eyes, and Blaine snorted.

"Of course not. I had to attend school in a different country, and I made no friends. Senior year was pretty lonely, and I always imagined coming back to find you and we'd get back together. But…I was a chicken. And I was an asshole. I couldn't tell you the real reason and I probably screwed everything up. After I graduated, I had full intentions of apologising."

"What happened…?"

"My father. He took me further from you – put me into uni and had a strict eye cast over me…and I learnt to get over you. I figured you would've had to move on, so I made myself move on too…"

Kurt's eyes were downcast and he was chewing his lip incessantly. "It was because of you that I didn't go to NYADA."

"I'm sorry…" Blaine whispered.

"I went to Karfosky…because only he knew at least a sliver of what I was feeling…."

"I'm sorry…" Blaine repeated, feeling absolutely horrible about the whole thing.

"Blaine, I'm not…I'm not blaming you. This was seven years ago."

"A seven years we could've had together."

Kurt sighed. "Yeah."

Blaine didn't want to be in love with him. Blaine didn't want that heartache – those problems. Blaine didn't want to have to deal with the fact that he could never have Kurt again because of a stupid mistake. Blaine wasn't even sure why he came back in the first place.

"Kurt, I'm sorry…this was a mistake. I'm…I need to go back to New York and-"

He was cut off by Kurt's lips, pressed against his own.