Tears cascaded down Blaine's face as he stared at his baby - his little girl - and Kurt was nowhere in sight.

Everything was wrong with this scene. With everything.

Kurt was supposed to be there. He was supposed to be scolding Blaine for holding her wrong, and they were supposed to be at home, settling her in the cot they'd chosen.

Blaine let out a small sob and pulled his little girl closer, wishing that he could name her...but it didn't seem right without Kurt.

Nothing seemed right.

Blaine was empty. A hollow shell of nothing.

He was scared.

He had pounced on a nurse the second she left the room Kurt had been in, and her grave face made Blaine burst into a fresh set of tears. She wouldn't tell him what was happening - if he was okay or if he was even alive.

He was helpless. Helpless and worried and with a baby, not more than four hours old.

Carole and Burt had left - Burt was panicking too much to be healthy and Carole had to get him home, telling Blaine that he needed to call her if anything happened.

She had even offered to stay, but he waved her off and started pacing - he'd been doing that since they left.

Baby often watched him - she didn't cry, she just stared at him. He talked to her too - mumbling under his breath worriedly - mostly about Kurt more than anything.

Finally - finally - the door to the OR opened, and a tired looking doctor stepped out.

Blaine's eyes widened and he stood, clutching Baby to his chest.

"Is he...?"

"Kurt is...stable." the doctor said softly, sitting Blaine down and taking a seat next to him. "When we were removing the baby, we hit an artery we weren't expecting - we've only performed the Caesarean's on males a few times - and I've never done it before myself, so it's a bit of a new thing."

Blaine got another pit of cold in his stomach. "That isn't very reassuring."

"He's stable. We've stitched him up and he's okay. They're just cleaning up in there and they'll put him in a proper room before you can see him properly."

Blaine swallowed hard and nodded. "Thank you.

Kurt was stable.

That meant nothing, in terms of how Blaine felt.

He nervously shuffled Baby, holding her tighter. She was all he had right now.

"Can I walk with the bed to his room?" Blaine asked softly and the doctor nodded as the door opened, and the bed pushed through.

Blaine's breathing hitched as he saw Kurt - pale and limp and lifeless and so un-Kurt that it wasn't funny. He froze, but the doctor's firm grip on his arm kept him moving.

"Will he be okay?" Blaine breathed.

"Yes. He should be now. We've repaired the damage and he should wake up soon."

Blaine nodded and continued to follow them, waiting in the corner of a room while they settled the bed in.

Finally, they were all gone, and Blaine let out a long breath - finally able to relax.

Kurt was fine.

All he had to do now was wake up.

Blaine sank into a chair beside the bed, rearranging Baby in his arms and leaning forward to take Kurt's hand. He looked back down at Baby, frowning, thinking about how wrong it was that Kurt hadn't had a chance to hold her properly. He swallowed hard, before shifting and settling, closing his eyes – not sleeping, but resting, with a firm grip on Baby - and getting ready for the long wait.

^.^

"B-Blaine?"

"Kurt?" Blaine gasped, his eyes flicking open instantly.

"You're...You're all...p-pretty." Kurt giggled.

Blaine half smiled. Kurt was fine. A bit loopy from...whatever they'd injected him with, but fine. Absolutely fine.

Blaine leant forward, kissing Kurt's cheek. "I'm so glad you're okay."

Kurt laughed. "Why...why wouldn't I be okay?"

Blaine just closed his eyes and breathed in everything that was Kurt, realising that Kurt might not have been okay. Just how close was Blaine to losing his boyfriend? He drew in another breath and rested his forehead against Kurt's.

"I love you."

Kurt smiled. "You have a baby in your arms."

"Do you want to hold her?"

Kurt frowned. "Why?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow. "Kurt..."

His eyes suddenly widened and his hands suddenly clutched at his stomach, his face contorting into a mask of pain. "Ow."

Blaine chuckled, taking Kurt's hands away and opening them, placing Baby between them. Kurt just looked down, his eyes slowly taking in the bundle of life.

"Is she a boy? Like...like you thought?" Kurt asked, his head tilting to one side.

"No, Baby's a girl." Blaine laughed, stroking Kurt's head gently.

"We can't keep calling her... baby." Kurt mumbled in frustration. "She...needs a name. A nice... name. Like Hepsibah."

"We're not calling her Hepsibah, no matter how pretty you think it is."

"But why?" Kurt pouted. "It's a nice... name."

"Kurt, what about Rose?"

Kurt wrinkled his nose. "Rose? Rosie...posie...rose..." he giggled. "Like the flower?" he snorted. "I still like Hepsibah better...I think..."

Blaine needed to distract him. There was no way his daughter would be called Hepsibah.

But Kurt seemed to distract himself, gazing down at her in a newfound awe. Unable to help himself, Blaine pulled out his phone, snapping a picture of them together.

"She's... b-beautiful." Kurt smiled. "You... are so beautiful, yes...you are." Kurt cooed to her.

Blaine laughed, kissing Kurt's cheek, his eyes bright and excited - now that he knew Kurt was okay.

^.^

They spent almost an hour together, passing the baby back and forth between them, laughing and discussing names. Kurt was slowly finding himself more aware of himself – very slowly recovering from the drugs.

Blaine moved to pick Baby up once more, and suddenly she let out an ear piercing shriek of discomfort. Kurt let out a cry of panic – the sudden sound scaring him in his dopey state. He sat up in a rush and gasped out with a sharp whimper.

Blaine had barely stepped away before the monitors went off, adding to the noise of Baby's shrieks and Kurt's sobs. Three seconds later, the door was flung open and a parade of people flooded in – doctors and nurses practically shoved him out of the way and covered Kurt.

Blaine barely caught words – unstable, internal bleeding, too early – before Kurt was suddenly wheeled out of the room – pale and covered in a dark red liquid – with no sign of being conscious.

^.^

Carole and Burt arrived back at the hospital as soon as Blaine had called – he was a sobbing mess, not able to cope with what just happened. Carole immediately took Baby, taking her to get fed, while Burt tried to console Blaine.

He wasn't doing very well.

"I'm sure he'll be fine."

"There was so much blood." Blaine blurted. "It was just...pouring from...all over his stomach...oh god...what if he's dying? What if he dies? What am I going to-"

"Blaine."

Burt's firm tone was enough to shut him up, but he couldn't stop the sobs wracking his body. Burt placed a hand on his shoulder, stroking his back comfortingly. Inside, he was panicking. He couldn't help it - what if Kurt was dying? He'd never heard of anything like this happening – but then, before Kurt got pregnant, he'd never known that men could...

Blaine shook his head. His thoughts were a mess – he couldn't concentrate long enough to make sense of them. Finally he managed to focus his thoughts on two things – Kurt, and Baby.

He had to make sure they were both safe and okay – but he was doing a pretty lousy job. He didn't even know where either one was. Wiping his eyes on his sleeve, and giving Burt a firm nod, he stood up and sucked in a deep breath.

"Carole would've taken her to the nursery." Burt informed him, and Blaine nodded with silent thanks, leaving the older man to dwell on his own thoughts.

He practically raced to the paediatric ward, slowly making his way through the rows of age groups until he found the babies – finding Carole feeding her in a chair.

"Blaine." She cooed. "Someone misses you."

Blaine swallowed hard and she placed her in his arms.

"Are you okay?"

Blaine took another seat and held the bottle to her lips, watching as she greedily sucked the liquid from the bottle. He had to take a minute to compose himself before replying.

"No." He managed, tears starting to build up behind his eyes. "I can't lose him Carole. I can't. I can't live without him. Can't breathe. Can't function. Kurt's...he's so special...you wouldn't believe how much he can just...how much he just has made my life perfection." He was blubbing, mindlessly gushing his insecurities. "Please...please tell me he's going to be fine...because...I just...I don't know what I'd do..."

Carole pulled him into a huge hug – baby and all – and just held him as he cried. She couldn't do much more. She'd hunted down doctors and nurses to find out more, but nobody could tell her anything – even if they wanted to. Kurt was in the ER, and that's all that anyone knew.

Blaine's shoulders shook violently and his sobs almost echoed in the small nursery – thankfully empty. Carole kept him close, rocking him at times and trying to provide the support that he needed.

Finally, they subsided to small snuffles, and Carole held him at arms' length.

"You need to go back to Burt. They'll come looking for you as soon as they get news. Okay?"

Blaine nodded, looking down at Baby, who had remained silent. "Can I take her? Please?"

Carole nodded. "I'll come get her in a few hours. She'll need feeding again and a nap."

Blaine just nodded – concentrating on the fact that yes, Baby was okay and fine and there with him. He started back to Burt, cradling Baby protectively.

^.^

When he arrived, Burt had his head in his hands, and Blaine felt a pang of guilt. Burt must be just as worried as Blaine was, and Blaine was an ungrateful mess, while Burt was this strong pillar of reassurance.

"Would you like to hold her?" Blaine asked softly, making Burt jump in surprise.

Burt looked up at him, his eyes red and puffy, but he quickly wiped them and nodded. Blaine carefully placed his baby in Burt's arms, trying not to hover. Burt stared down at her, tracing her small features with his finger.

"She looks..." he said softly. "She's got Kurt's eyes...and your hair."

Blaine smiled slightly, realising that he hadn't really taken the time to look at her.

"Your darker skin tone too, it seems." Burt muttered, almost to himself. "Has she got a name?"

Blaine chuckled. "Not exactly. Kurt wants to name her Hepsibah but..."

Burt raised an eyebrow. "Hepsibah?"

"He was a little drugged, at the time." Burt nodded in understanding, letting out a small chuckle.

Blaine planted himself beside the older man, resting back against the wall and letting out a long breath.

"Are you fairing?"

Blaine nodded, sighing. "It's tough."

"I know. But he's strong. He'll make it."

"Yeah."

^.^

Hours later, Blaine had forced Burt and Carole to go back home. There was no news, but they had lives, and jobs, despite the fact that Kurt was in hospital. Honestly, he just didn't want to break down in front of them again.

He sat with Baby against his chest, waiting for anything, and finally his prayers were answered. A young nurse gave him a small smile and approached him, sitting next to him.

"You're Blaine Anderson?"

He nodded, hoping that this might be the call that Kurt was okay.

"You're Kurt – Kurt Hummel – he's been in the OR for quite some time now, as you know." Blaine nodded impatiently. "And he's now far more stable than he has been in the past hour or so. We can offer for you to watch the end of the operation – if you want – from a viewing area above the room."

Blaine started to nod long before she finished talking. "Yes. Yes please."

She nodded and smiled slightly. "Would you like someone to take your daughter...?"

Blaine cradled her protectively. "No. She can...she can come in with me."

The nurse nodded and led him through the hospital to the OR, climbing the stairs to the view space.

"Did you want me to get a bassinette for her?" she offered. Blaine nodded, and she continued quietly, not wanting to leave him on his own. "Do you need anyone with you?"

Blaine swallowed hard and shook his head, trying to prepare himself for what he was about to witness. The nurse simply nodded and left him to open the door for himself.

Taking another long breath in, he let it out slowly and opened the door, and then he could see him – lying there and being there and completely unconscious. Blaine wanted to hold his hand, wanted to touch him and comfort him and speak the words that Kurt needed to hear.

But Kurt was unconscious. And Kurt couldn't hear him, even if he tried. He placed Baby in the bassinette at his side when the nurse brought it in, the little girl asleep and safe and not in any harm – oblivious to what her daddy was going through.

Blaine could only watch – one hand on the bassinette, the other pressed up to the glass, his mouth parted slightly as he watched them work over Kurt. He didn't know what they were doing – he didn't care.

He just wanted Kurt back in his arms, laughing and playing with their baby and not in any danger. But the doctors knew what they were doing, and Kurt would be with him soon.

He would.

Blaine stood there for over two hours, his gaze switching from Kurt's lifeless, pale face, to the doctor's hands – working steadily with a range of utensils Blaine couldn't remember the names of. He didn't care. Sometimes the hands worked more urgently, fiddling and moving and checking things, as if something was going wrong. Blaine was always far more tense in those brief moments, fearing the worst.

And then the worst happened.

A loud beeping – one that echoed even through the view space – made each person in the operating theatre pause, before a long stream of curses that even Blaine could hear made his heart drop further than he'd ever felt it.

There seemed to suddenly be an overdose of blood and it gushed out of Kurt, spilling over the sides and onto the floor and practically spurting like a fountain. Blaine couldn't move. He was frozen, and he could feel the tension radiating from the room as the doctors ran – ran – for different options.

Someone else cursed – loud and long – and the beeping stopped, turning into one long, loud line of sound.

Blaine could swear his heart wasn't even in his body anymore. His whole gut flopped and he needed to throw up but he couldn't move.

Kurt flat lined.

Flat lined.

His heart had stopped beating – completely and utterly, and Kurt Hummel was dead.

"KURT!" Blaine launched himself at the screen, pounding himself against it as tears spilled relentlessly from his eyes.

He threw himself against it, pummelling and hitting it and kicking it until his fists were turning red.

"No. No! No! No. NO!" Blaine repeated the word over and over until it became nothing more than a babble, but it was met by a whimper.

He ignored Baby, his thoughts only on Kurt, and the fact that his boyfriend was lying dead on the table no more than a metre or two away from him – and there was nothing he could do about it – and no way to get to him.

He smashed his fists against the screen one more time with a cry of many things – grief, depression, anger, panic and complete frustration, before he let himself slide down the screen, sobbing into the plastic.

His sobs echoed through the room, eyes tightly shut as his brain shut down. His legs curled up beneath him, arms folding across his chest and he literally mimicked the foetal position, sobs wracking his body and shutting out the cries of his baby.

He was so upset, he couldn't even hear the steady beeping of the heart monitor.

Finally, the shrieking wails of the baby got to him, and he had to stand up – had to protect her and keep her safe and make sure she was always happy – because that's what Kurt would've wanted.

His sobs didn't calm – but he managed to pick her up and hold her close, crying into her chest and nuzzling her gently.

"Hepsibah." He gulped, barely managing to squeak out her name. "It's...it's what he wanted."

He paced the tiny room, determinedly refusing to look out the window, rocking her until she calmed down, finally stopping her crying. Blaine's tears ran out around the same time – he was no less sad, he just couldn't cry anymore, not wanting to upset Hepsibah again, knowing how upset Kurt would be if he could see them.

Blaine had his back to the window when he finally registered the steady beating of the heart monitor.

Beating.