Kurt couldn’t cry anymore – but his lungs wanted to burst with sobs. He slowly left New Directions and stood with his Warblers, who were openly crying without shame. Wes and David enveloped him in a hug, and Wes whispered into his ear.

“Remember our deal?” Wes asked, and Kurt nodded. He wasn’t going to give up.

But Kurt felt like a frame, a shell. Something…everything was missing.

Blaine was missing.

The Warblers started into their ‘warbling’ – as Kurt recognised the first few bars of ‘Somewhere Only We Know,”. His eyes widened, and tears filled them quickly.

Blaine sang this to him – a public performance that was meant only for him. Kurt had subconsciously counted the bars in and looked around, hoping and praying that Blaine would come out of the casket and start singing to him.

Instead, Wes, Thad and David provided the melody in a deep hum, not actually singing the words but showing where the words were supposed to go.

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Kurt heard the words clearly – as if Blaine was there singing them to him. To everyone. To anyone…..

He looked around again, but shook his head and retreated from the Warblers, barely missing the casket and the open grave as he stumbled away. He couldn’t leave though – he just needed a moment.

This was it – this was his proof – the final straw, that Blaine was really gone. He wasn’t singing…and Blaine wouldn’t ever not sing.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I’m getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

Kurt closed his eyes tightly, and he let out a sob. Rachel had enveloped him into a hug, and she was crying almost as hard.

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of?

“I can’t do it,” he sobbed into Rachel’s shirt.

Rachel kept her tears in check and she looked into Kurt’s eyes. “You can – and you will!”

Kurt shook his head and practically collapsed on himself, mimicking a foetal position on the ground. He was far enough away from the large group to not draw attention to himself, but Wes had seen anyway. As the song continued, Wes approached them and put his arms around Kurt.

“I said he would look down on you, didn’t I?”

“Don’t be so ridiculous Wes,” Kurt snapped. “Of course he’s not looking down on me. Heaven doesn’t exist,” he burst into a fresh round of tears.

“Look,” Unfazed, Wes pointed into the tree, where a large black crow sat on one of the braches, looking down on him. “Blaine loved actual Warblers.”

Kurt stared up at the crow, and just for a moment, he could believe that it was Blaine. Kurt burst into a fresh round of tears, his chest about to explode with the emptiness he felt.

What was left for him now?

Blaine had saved him from McKinley – from Karofsky – from everything.

And now he was just gone?

How in the hell could this ever be considered right?

Kurt, Wes and Rachel returned to the large group. The extras – Blaine’s friends from his old school – paid their respects and departed, followed soon by Blaine’s parents.

Kurt blanched and gaped after them. How could they leave?

On second thought, Amber broke away from her husband and approached Kurt apprehensively.

“Thank you,” she muttered, fighting to control the sobs about to wrack her body.

Kurt looked up at her with the same expression, and he shook his head. “What for?”

“Being there for Blaine. His father wasn’t pleased…but it was the happiest I had ever seen Blaine for a long time. And…having him…” she couldn’t say it. She paused and took a shuddering breath. “Having him gone now…I’m glad he got to be happy with you,”

Kurt’s eyes widened. They hadn’t actually told Blaine’s parents that they had been dating. How could she know?

“I’m a mother…don’t worry about it,” she gave Kurt a small, comforting smile – as comforting as a tear-stained smile can be. She squeezed Kurt’s hand gently before returning to her husband, who was waiting impatiently at the car.

“Hey,” Burt pulled Kurt into a big hug, giving Kurt a few moments to cry again. “Do you want us to stay?”

Kurt shook his head, giving his father a very slight smile. “I think I’ll be okay…”

Burt turned to the New Directions and the Warblers. “Look after him – make sure he gets home,” he warned and they nodded seriously.

When Burt and Carole had left, Kurt stood at the grave – now closed and filled with dirt. Kurt’s whole chin quivered. He just wanted to rip the dirt back up, find Blaine and get him out.

Kurt turned back to the Warblers and the New Directions – his new and old friends in formation around the grave.

This would be his last performance to Blaine for a while.

New Directions and Warblers started with the backing vocals – no longer two separate teams but a giant cohort of talent – a barricade of sound that encased Kurt.

I miss you, miss you so bad
I don’t forget you, oh it’s so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won’t be the same
Oh

Kurt turned back to the crow, which was still sitting on the branch, just watching and waiting.

I didn’t get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can’t

Kurt had to stop, breaking down. He continued when he regained his composure – needing to finish it.

Oh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won’t be the same
Oh

I had my wake up
Won’t you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can’t take it
It wasn’t fake
It happened, you passed by

The group around him continued into the harmonies and other lyrics, Kurt’s voice straying high above theirs.

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won’t be the same no..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that I found it won’t be the same oh…
I miss you

^.^

Kurt returned to the gravesite, exactly ten years after Blaine’s death. He was twenty seven. A young man stood behind him, a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. He had returned to this site only once each year – it was the only time he let himself think about Blaine properly.

Kurt had learned to move on. It was hell, the entire time he was in high school. The sympathetic looks, the toned down responses – they were a little overwhelming.

Kurt ended up transferring back to McKinley, where he didn’t have to see the blazers, each time reminding him of who he’d lost. He’d pretty much lost contact with the Warblers – only Wes calling him occasionally to see how he’d been. He hadn’t heard from Wes for a few months now. The bullying had stopped completely – not because the footballers had a change of heart, but because they couldn’t damage something that was already broken.

Kurt was depressed at McKinley. Hell, he was depressed everywhere. His life seemed to matter less and less with every day, and everyone was getting worried. He was unresponsive for the first terms, but something changed.

Luke Wright was a transfer from Australia – new to the school and so obviously gay. Paired with Kurt in science, Luke pulled Kurt from his shell and taught him about life, and most importantly, about new love.

Luke had joined New Directions, giving a new element of sound to the group. Kurt often wondered if it was Blaine, reincarnated, but he had stopped wishing, and started to take Luke for who he was.

Kurt now stared at the headstone, slightly worn with age. He placed a new bouquet on the hard dirt, wondering where Blaine was now.

A large, black crow squawked and landed on the headstone, taking a long look at Kurt. Kurt could swear the crow had dark brown, almost green eyes. The feathers were slightly rumpled on his head, making distinct curls.

Kurt looked down at the grave once again. He had stopped looking for signs of Blaine a long time ago.

The boy would never really be gone. Kurt could feel his presence every day, in the little things – Luke’s smile, whenever Kurt sang and even the things that didn’t matter – walking to work, or eating cereal.

It was an ongoing trial, but Kurt didn’t have to face it alone.

Moving on was part of life, and Kurt was happy to accept it with the help of his friends.